STRUGGLING!!!

Mar 06, 2013

 

First off... The Positive:   So happy to have come so far along in my journey. There have been many twists and turns - some good,some not so much, but now 180lbs down from my highest weight and hardly recognize myself in old photo's.  I went back a few months ago to visit family & friends in England and walked right up to a good friend picking me up from the airport and he didn't know it was me until I spoke (lol... I actually kinda like the anonymity).   So on the Negative:   I am in a rut.... Highest weight was 405, got down to 220, then put back on 10lbs. I'm at 226 so lost just 4 lbs again but haven't really had any significant loss for about 9 months and finding I have little to no motivation. I guess it probably doesn't help that my marriage broke down and also was diagnosed with Arthritic Hips so exercising is difficult too due to constant intense pain but am I just giving myself excuses? Just can't seem to kick myself in the ass hard enough to get back on the right path!!
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Major Milestones

Jun 23, 2011

Here I am now just over 3 months post-op and very happy that I can mark off the first 4 milestones on my list  :)

1)  100 lbs loss since my heaviest (405 lbs).
2)  Get out of the 300's.
3)  100 lbs loss since consultation with surgeon.
4)  Reach and pass my halfway point.

So now currently 282  which means 123 lbs total loss so far and and now 'JUST' 97 lbs to go until I reach my optimum weight of 185 lbs with a BMI of 25.

Next 2 milestones are getting down to the 30's on my BMI (currently 41.7) and reaching 100 lbs loss since date of surgery, so 22 lbs to go on that one but might take me a while as weight loss is definitely slowing down right now.... I must join a Gym in the next couple of weeks.

Clothes!!!
I'm sure everyone going through this process knows how lost we start to feel in our clothes as our frames get smaller and I just treated myself to 2 new pairs of jeans... I did still need to go to the big guy store but this will be the last time. I had dropped 10inches from my waist meaning I had gone from a size 60 to a 50 but 'normal' stores stop at around 46, but thats not far away from me now.  Shirts are another matter though and as much as I dread to mention the word 'Walmart' I did decide to try a couple of cheap T-shirts (3x) from there and YES they fitted very well, a welcome change from the 30+ dollar Tee's at the big guy store.

Next thing is to try and find some cheap collared shirts for work - maybe Walmart again, who knows.... no point buying expensive clothes right now when they wont fit in another few months.






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Stricture

Apr 18, 2011


OK, so had my visit with my surgeons office last Thursday (14th). I am now 1 month post-op but over the last couple of weeks have been having more and more trouble eating, but more importantly real trouble drinking. Most days I had been having trouble even getting half my fluids in. Doc suspected a Stricture and said he wanted to schedule an EGD early the following week.... well the next day I called his office about 5'ish after only having consumed about 10 ounces of liquids all day and feeling not only very unwell physically but to my surprise when I spoke to the on-call doctor I was also very emotional. A guy is not supposed to admit such things but when he answered to the phone I started blubbing... can you believe it!!!

He told me to have my wife drive me straight the hospital and he would arrange for me to be admitted without having to go through triage in ER etc... of course we get there and what do they but put me in triage in ER, until they found the orders about 30 mins later and took me to a room.

Of course the pumped me full of fluids (saline, vitamins, iron, potassium etc) and turned out my doc had arranged for the EGD to be done the following morning and no surprises here but they found I had a really tight stricture so they dilated it to 12mm and say I have to go back in 2 weeks and have another EGD to dilate it to 15mm.

Now dont get me wrong this might sound all doom and gloom but i'm very very happy they found this dang stricture because now I can drink again... feels sooooo good and for the first time since surgery, this morning I was able to eat 1 egg (scrambled) with a little shaved ham - until now I have not been able to eat egg and had struggled even with shaved deli meats and most everything else.

I think I might (knock on wood) now be able to move on... my large incision which they cut open again when I had the infection, they tell me I can now allow to close as it seems infection free and I can cope with one more EGD, compared to everything else, thats a walk in the park.

I did put 7lbs on in this last hospital visit but just goes to show how dehydrated I actually was, so i'm not even bothered about that kind of weight gain. I just want to concentrate now on getting a little stronger so I can get back to work - I hate being home this much.

I look forward to my next blog being nothing but positive
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Always talk to your Surgeon or his/her staff !!

Apr 09, 2011

Hi All,

In my previous post I did mention I was already feeling better and thats true... each day after I returned home from my surgery I was feeling stronger and stronger and then it started!!

I was getting more and more pain in my left side and at first I just put it down to pain around the largest incision site and all the blogs about post surgery pain made me think this must be normal. As it happened I had already scheduled an appointment with my PCP as a courtesy and I told the Doc there of the pain and she thought maybe constipation/gas etc, so I went home with some Miralax to try and help, but NO... that pain just kept increasing.

After the fifth day of this I spoke with my surgeons office and although I felt a bit of a fraud talking to them about what was probably just constipation, they were not so sure and after talking further with them the next day and I explained I was now seeing much more swelling and redness to the area, they told me to go to the ER for a CT scan.

Well it turns out I did the right thing as I had an infection the size of a Cantaloupe Melon that had most likely been caused by the surgical instruments especially bearing in mind my surgery took so long. If I had waited another day I could have been in serious trouble. So my surgeon came saw me after I was admitted and re-cut open my incision and you don't want to know how much stuff he pulled out of there.

3 Days later I was back home after being pumped full of antibiotics and more to take at home orally. Needless to say that at this moment I am a little frustrated and currently have buyers remorse... I know that will pass and I have already lost 30lbs since surgery which is great but I am just fed up with being in pain all the time. I have home health come every morning to repack the open 4cm x 1cm hole I have in my stomach which they pack about 4 inches deep with gauze to act as a wick so as to draw out any remaining infection and my wife changes it at night.

I'm sure my next post will be more upbeat and I know a lot of you are off to a great start and I don't want to take that away... I just thought I would share my experiences with anyone who wishes to read but I guess here the message is  more about trusting your instincts and speaking with your surgeons office as early as possible if you think something is wrong. I should have taken my own advice.

Ken.
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Post-Op and feeling better

Mar 23, 2011

Well I am now officially one of the post-op club... had my RNY Gastric Bypass last Wednesday (16th).

I did have some small complications during my 3 1/2 hour surgery and was told afterwards that they even had to consider stopping halfway through because supposedly I have an unusual internal anatomy - still can't quite wrap my head around that one, but it's all good and I'm very thankful that my surgeon and his team pushed on through to complete the surgery.

I have to admit, I did have buyers remorse initially but after they swapped my pain meds from Morphine to Liquid Loritab I started feeling a lot better and figured if this is the worst my pain is gonna get - then I can get through this.

After my 3 night hospital stay I got home on Saturday afternoon, and this is pretty much the first day I have any energy. I am having trouble getting in all my liquids though and yesterday I think I was suffering from mild dehydration so today I am trying even harder to get my liquids in. I can no longer tolerate broth and getting close to not liking Jello, but last night my wife put a few ounces of Progresso Light Chicken soup through the blender and it felt like the best thing I ever tasted.. lol can you believe it - never used to touch that stuff.

I put on 4 lbs in hospital and have now lost that plus another 7 lbs so am excited to see pretty much straight away... can't wait to get in to the two hundreds. Hopefully I will be there by May .

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Approved and Anxious

Feb 28, 2011

Well this my first post and I start with fantastic news as yesterday I got approval from my insurance company and am now waiting on my surgeon's office to call with a surgery date.


In fact not only my first post here but the first blog anywhere ever, so please excuse me if I go of a little randomly at times:

I have had problems with my weight from highschool and I tended to opt out of sports because of one reason or another and since then the weight has kept piling on. My heaviest was around September 2010 when I stood on the scales and for the first time saw a '4' as the starting number (405) and I knew it was time for something radical, I just wasn't sure at the time, that this would mean surgery.

I.. just like many of us have tried 'diet after diet' and lifestyle changes that somehow seemed to end after just a short few months, I think the most I ever lost at one time was just under 60 pounds on weightwatchers. It's funny but I look at old school photo's I didn't look at all big by todays standards, but the constant taunts and bullying that I remember receiving tell a different story.

That was many years ago and as an adult I have always had what others see as an outgoing confident demeanor and to a point that's true but on the inside is still that 'fat' kid who never quite seemed to experience life in the same manner as those around him... so time for a change, right.

I always dreamed of many things I would love to do if I were 'normal' and when I realized my weight was starting to take control of my life by my late teens, I promised myself I would be 'slim' by the time I was 21, then 25, then 30, then 35 and now I am not too far from the big 4 0, enough is enough, hence my decision to take back control and start living.

My wife who is also large is the one who suggested I might want to take a look at surgery options and when I saw the costs I just didn't see how it could be an option. We decided to open our own business and our aim was to make good money and pay for the WLS privately and of all things the business we chose was a restaurant, but in actual fact when you're surrounded by food ALL day I didn't actually feel like eating that much and within the first month I lost 32lbs by not overeating and of course running around like a crazy person trying to keep everything organized... sadly the business did not work out and we shut the doors a few weeks ago after which, some of that weight loss started creeping back up. Well then we got some good luck as my wife returned back to work and her insurance benefits appeared very comprehensive and despite being expensive we took the plunge. My wife is now also awaiting approval for surgery.

So here I am now waiting for my surgery date, I am very excited about my upcoming journey and also a little nervous at the same time, this is of course major surgery but then the way I look at this, is that the risk to my life in terms of having the surgery is far lower than to the risk on my life if I were not to have surgery, so it's a no brainer.

However daunting changing ones complete lifestyle might be, I actually look forward to it, but I am a little worried that this journey may also change me and the way that I view things around me and the people that I have in my life.  I love my wife dearly and she is not only my partner but my soul mate and best friend so i'm confident our relationship is strong enough though, especially as we will both be going through this journey although her surgery will not be until around June. Utimately though I realize this journey is not about anyone else, it is for me and dammit I am going to make the most of it to get my health back on track for the first time in over 20 years.

I always liked to go walking but that has become so difficult due to the pain in my feet, ankles, knees and especially my hips which do not recover after an injury several years ago and it's all down to the weight I carry so I greatly look forward to having a spring back in my step. My friends and my wife always told me I used to walk around around like a bull, strong quick and confident, but now I cannot walk around our property without a walking stick for support and if we go the store I use a cart or I am done within minutes. I can't wait to see the reflection in store windows of that bull once again.

Well I guess this is enough for my first post, I will post again when I have some more news.

Ken.
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About Me
TX
Location
33.4
BMI
RNY
Surgery
03/16/2011
Surgery Date
Feb 24, 2011
Member Since

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Latest Blog 6

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