justjackie
HI there - Okay so heres my story. I have been overweight most of my life and almost all of my late teen and adult life. I was trained at an early age that you cleaned your plate or else. I was a single mom for the majority of the childhood of my two sons so the biggest part of my focus was keeping us going. There wasnt alot of money for anything so food choices were the cheap kind. I took care of them and everyone else but me. Now dont get me wrong nobody twisted my arm and said eat that and I in no way blame my current situation on anyone but me. My kids didnt distract me or make me gain two hundred pounds, nope I made the choice to not pay attention to it and put off worrying about it. Long story short I controlled it then and it is up to me to control now. Its all about decisions and reality. So here I am off to start my own version of a reality show :) I began today the nutritionists high protien low carb diet which I think I can do. I am a soda addict but so far this week I have had less diet coke in the entire week than I normally drink in a day so I feel good. I am also trying to cut back and eventually eliminate the caffine... thats gonna be a toughie, but I can do it. I want this so bad. I am so close its scary. I was raised by a man who told me almost daily that I wasnt worth and how no one would ever want me..so why not do everyone a favor and save them from having to know me and take myself out. Well I think that has everything in the world to do with why I seem to sabotage every weight loss journey I have tried so far. Seems like I have been afraid to lose the weight. I WILL NOT LIVE IN FEAR ONE MORE MOMENT! FEAR IS NOT OF GOD! I will take the needed steps to see my goal. I will be healthy, happy and moving! Right now I thankfully I have little permanent damage to my body and its time to make it happen! To my family that is understandably concerned and worried. I love you for caring about me. But daily living like this is just not living really. I cant do the simple things that everyone else does without thinking about it. I want to walk with out pain, I want to sit in a chair and really be in a chair :) I want to travel without fear of meeting an airline clerk or passenger who hates fat people and who will make a scene over my size. I want to see my Grand Children grow up and be there maybe for great grand children. I will be fine!!! Just pray with me and for me through this journey okay?
I love you!
