JoyfulLife
I once lost 220 pounds on my own and was less than 1/2 my old physical self. IT WAS GREAT! BUT I now find myself with those 220 pounds back on PLUS more. I am so tired of just existing. I want to LIVE and be able to play with my 3 grandchildren and watch them grow. I made the decision to have this surgery to help me keep it off this time. I AM aware that this is only a tool and that I will have much work to do in order to be successful. As a Navy retiree dependent and have been told I must have my surgery performed at the Naval Hospital. I was scheduled for orientation (via the military hospital) in May, but it was cancelled due to the current world situation and there is no way of knowing how long the wait will be. With a BMI of 68, I am praying that my knees and the rest of me will hold out until I can get into the system for this surgery. The wait now begins.
4/6/03 I LOVE this site! I have come here many times when I felt discouraged or depressed and it has helped so much! I cannot believe how many wonderful people are here and how helpful all of you are. LIFE IS GOOD and going to get better!
I have found a wonderful way to divert my focus from the long wait list for surgery--by collecting donations and purchasing items to send to our troops in Kuwait! I do this along with my daycare children---what a great lesson for them and a blessing to me. Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^ God Bless!
4/18/03 I am praying for patience. The Bariatric Case Manager is calling patients to schedule orientation as quickly as she can. I am giving some serious thought to going into counseling --- I know I will grieve the loss of food after my surgery. After all, I used food for many years in times of joy, saddness, stress and for just no occaission at all. I think having some help in dealing with this life changing decision and all it's repucussions will be a major help to me.
Angel on your shoulder! ^ii^ ^ii^ Cindy
6-8-03 After being told the wait will be at least one year I decided to make an effort to speed up the process of getting this surgery. I did some research regarding deferring out to the civilian sector. I was told that would not be approved by TriCare Prime. I admit being disappointed that Dr. Spencer would not be performing my surgery as he has gone into private practice. I do not know who his replacement will be, but have faith that he will also be a competent, skilled surgeon. I am very grateful that my insurance will cover this procedure and have faith that all will work out in time. All good things are worth waiting for. Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^
7-7-03 This surgery has become an obsession with me. Constantly on my mind day and night--so much so I can barely function from day to day. I don't know how my friends and family can stand to hear me constantly talk about it. I can hardly even stand my own self !!!
I have found an excellent counselor and am now working on my food / life issues. In therapy I have discovered that I have not fully dealt with the emotional and physical abuse I was subject to during my marriage. I have been divorced for a number of years--but those ugly memories still live on in my mind. I am well aware that having gastric bypass is not a "fix" for my weight problem. It is merely a tool to use in the process of losing the weight. My "issues" will still be there after surgery, during the recovery period and when and if I am ever blessed to be at goal. It is crucial to learn new coping skills in order to deal with the problems (or, as my son refers to them "hiccups of life") I will encounter in the future. My counselor is a major source of support as I start this process.
I keep going to the before / after photos on this website. The pictures along with the candid profiles are SO inspiring. I see many of the members of this site have overcome alot of the things I am currently dealing with. My past failures time and time again have given me a sense of hopelessness. I am actually starting to think that I just may be successful one day.
I have not weighed myself in a LONG time. I was afraid to see my weight in black and white and normal scales will not accommodate someone of my size. I finally mustered up the courage to weigh in on a Weight Watcher scale. IT REGISTERED 467 POUNDS !! I was mortified !! Embarrassed !! They were so kind. I have once again started a healthy eating plan and have decided to weigh once a month. I set a goal to weigh under 400 pounds the day of my surgery. (whenever that might be).
Called the Bariatric Case Manager to see where I stood on the wait list. She said my surgery would probably not be until spring 2004. I was a bit disappointed--then realized that I could use this time to my advantage by having more time with my counselor, losing more weight, getting my family medical history in order, having my Living Will etc drawn up. Staying busy will help time go by and I feel as if I am doing something positive towards my goal. Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^
8-8-03 I received a call from Jan Carlo (Bariatric Case Manager) informing me that my orientation class is now rescheduled for August 21. I am very excited! I will meet Dr Lord (Dr Spencer's replacement) for the first time. I will also be anxious to meet the others that will be having surgery in that same time frame. It's been a long wait, but things will now start to move. Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^
8-24-03 I attended orientation on August 21 at Portsmouth Naval Medical Center. The entire staff that we would be working with was also present. Nutritionists, Psychologists, Nurses as well as Dr. Jeffrey Lord, who will be performing my surgery. They have a very comprehensive program. A series of tests and evaluations are set for each patient and must be satisfactorily completed before anyone receives the okay for surgery. I was very reassured and encouraged after orientation. Dr. Lord told us of his credentials--the main thing that interested me was he has a fellowship in lap surgery. I had given up hope my surgery could be done this way, but if anyone would have the expertise to do it---it will be Dr. Lord. Keeping my fingers crossed. Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^
10-14-03 I received a totally unexpected call from Jan Carlo (Bariatric Case Manager) informing me that my initial consultation with Dr Lord will be this Friday, Oct. 17. I was stunned as I had not planned to hear back from the clinic for quite a while. Things are now in motion------time for me to get the dreaded yearly "girlie exam" (Pap/Mamogram) scheduled. I haven't had one done in years mainly because of embarrassment. I can't even stand to look at myself--let alone another human see me "in my glory". Also, I have no idea how Dr Sager (my PCM) will be able to examine me when I can't even get up onto the examining table. I will have faith that it will work out. I know I HAVE to meet all the requirements in order to be given the go ahead for surgery----so I am determined to go to any lengths to do what must be done even if I am embarrassed, ashamed or afraid. God has worked it all out sofar---He's not going to let me fall now. Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^
10-20-03 I had the amazing experience of meeting and completing my initial consultation with Dr. Lord on Oct. 17. He was very honest in that no other surgeon in our area would be able to do lap surgery on me due to my massive size. He also added that he was fairly sure that he would be able to do it lap IF I followed his instructions between now and the day of surgery. I assured him that I would follow his directions to the letter as best I could. The main thing is to lose 40 pounds before surgery in order to shrink the size of my liver so that he would have room to maneuver the instruments during surgery. I appreciated his rigorous honest and his patience in answering all my questions. I have TOTAL confidence in Dr Lord and the program at PNMC. I am blessed that I was led to this wonderful program and staff.
11/10/03 I am TRYING to stay positive, but am having a difficult time this evening. I now weigh 450 pounds and have normal aches and pains due to my weight, but had NO idea that my preop tests would come back as they have. It seems that there are problems with each test I take towards this surgery. First, my EKG came back saying that sometime in the past I have had a heart attack. That's news to me! I now have an appt. for an echocardiogram on for a closer look. My ultrasound revealed that my gall bladder is full of stones. Once again, I was taken by surprise. In my Nutrition appointment with Nancy there was some concern that I would not be able to get in all my vitamins, protein, calcium and meals because I do child care. She requested that I make out a time schedule and meal plan for Stage 3. At first, I was annoyed--then realized it was it was good practice to sit down and actually do a meal plan and count the protein grams. I will then take my schedule to her at a followup appt. The final straw was the phone call I got from Portsmouth today regarding my mammogram. I will need to have further testing regarding those findings as well. WILL THIS NEVER END? I just want to get through all this testing and get a surgery date. I certainly appreciate that Dr. Lord is so thorough as well as the fact that I need to be aware of these findings. FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION !! I am bound and determined to have this surgery and Dr. Lord as my surgeon. In the meantime I am continuing with a healthy eating program and the weight is slowly coming off. I will keep plugging along till I get to the end of this seemingly never ending tunnel of tests. Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^
11-25-03 I have now completed all my tests and retests. I am happy to share that everything has finally come out okay. I was beginning to feel like PNMC was my second home. I had a Dobutamine Stress Echocardiogram and was told my heart was in "great shape" (doctor's words) My mamogram did not fare as well(at first). I was scheduled for an ultrasound--then a biopsy--however, at the last minute they located my old films in the archives and saw that the nodule they saw in the new films was there in 1996 and there has been no change. I got a call 2 hours before the scheduled biopsy telling me the biopsy was not necessary. I was THRILLED! I had a second appointment with Nancy (nutritionist) and turned in my menu and time schedule. It was approved by her and I now have Nutrition's approval for surgery. I had a vascular study done on both legs due to my history of cellulitis. It did not show any problem areas. My final test was my Pa which was done on 11-22. Results due back in 2 weeks. When those results are back---I call Jan (Case Manager) for a preop consult with Dr. Lord at which time I should be given a surgery date.
1-8-04 I had my preop appointment with Dr Lord today. My son went with me since he will be here helping me after surgery--he also wanted to meet the surgeon. Things are progressing--my surgery date was moved up one day to Feb 3rd. My pre surgery clear liquid diet is only for 10 days instead of 14. I have lost 37 pounds of the 40 Dr Lord wants me to lose---I was very happy about that. Dr. Lord then said to make his job MUCH easier (due to my large size) that losing another 20 pounds would make his job much easier--so--I will continue to try and take off more between now and then as I want to do all in my power to enable him to perform my surgery laparoscopically. I know this surgery is NOT a cure all for my weight issues -- so I continue to go to counseling, watch what I eat, read and learn from the profiles of others, and get my affairs in order ( business, will, taxes etc) so that my recovery will be as stress free as possible. My next appointment will be with the Bariatric case Manager for further education along with several other patients getting ready for surgery--after the class we will pre register. I also received all my meds for after surgery --- actually I was a bit amazed at the meds--- (it seems my little pouch will be filled up with them and no room for food) We also had one more session With Nancy (Nutritionist) She explained the 4 stage diet to my son and answered all questions we had. I left Portsmouth with my head spinning from all the information we were given by Dr Lord, Jan and Nancy. It's taking time to digest it all.
After a LONG wait of over a year it is FINALLY my turn. Seems like a dream come true---told my friends IF I am dreaming do NOT wake me up. I would also like to thank Tammy, Nicole, Angela and the others including family and friends that have been by my side through this process!:-) Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^
1-16-04 I am extremely sad as I sit to update my profile this evening. I have only 17 days to my surgery date of Feb 3---and yesterday I received a phone call from my sister to tell me that my dad has passed away. I had not seen him in several years---always wanting to lose this damn weight before I saw him again--not wanting to be an embarrassment to my family. Having hopes of going to see them in 6 months or so after I had lost some of this "excess baggage" that I carry around. Well, now it's too late and I have so many regrets. I DO know that he would want me to carry on--and do what I need to do to get healthy and have a better quality of life. I just wish he would be here to share the joys with me. The insanity is---I have always "used" food to deal with any highs or lows in my life---and I was VERY tempted today to eat myself into oblivion. But, I knew I would just have even more regrets tomorrow---so, for now, I am trying to keep my mind focused on my instructions from Dr. Lord and FOLLOW THEM. I am going to lunch with my friends tomorrow--or, as I have called it my "Last Supper". I have to start a 10 day liquid diet next Saturday the 25th. I have my class with Jan and Preop appt. on Tuesday---so my days will be busy and hopefully my mind as well. Tonight, I am all alone and all is quiet here at home. My thoughts are with my family and my dad. I have faith that better and brighter days are ahead. As always, Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^ God Bless!
2-2-04 TOMORROW IS MY DAY! I have so many mixed emotions. Unfortunately tragedy has once again struck our family. My ex husband of 21 years passed away on Friday (within 2 weeks of my Dad). My children were torn as to whether to stay with me or go for their father. I told them that I have the BEST surgeon and will be fine--and urged them to go to Indiana. They will be back by the time I go home and need help. I made a small collage of their pictures so I can see their smiling faces while in the hospital. Now, for GOOOD NEWS! I weighed in at Weight Watchers on Saturday (normal scales do not weigh me -- yet) and I have broken through 400 lbs--now weighing a "svelte" 390! LOL. That should make Dr Lord happy--he wanted me to lose 60 lbs and I have actually lost 67 (77 from my all time high and this is before my bowel prep-so should be even more by tomorrow) By the way that Fleet stuff is N A S T Y! ( My advice drink it fast till it's gone!)
Today I will have to myself--getting my thoughts and house in order. Taking time to remember all the advice that I have lovingly been given from those that have gone before me. I need to end this by saying THANKS to Tammy, Mona, Theresa, Angela and Pam for sharing your experiences with me and helping to calm my frazzled nerves. I will see you all on the other side! Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^ God Bless!
2-10-04 I can now officially say I am Post Op! My surgery went as scheduled on Feb 3rd. Dr. Lord spent 4 hours on my surgery, and was able to do it lap in spite of my size. I will be forever grateful to him for giving me this new lease on life. My experience at Portsmouth Naval Medical Center was all positive. Every unit I came in contact with--Preop, Anesthesia, Surgery, Recovery,Stand Down, Nutrition and the ward---each has a staff of truly caring individuals. They were especially supportive during the most trying of times--such as my first time up walking and day 2 when my mouth was so dry because I had to wait for my swallow study. I just kept reminding myself that I had been continually told to "get through the first 3 days and things will get better". I found that to be true.
I had my one week appointment this afternoon and all is going "excellent" (Dr Lord's words). I have been so blessed. I must also say that I really did not have much pain after the first 3 days. It has not been necessary for me to take any pain meds since the morning I was discharged. I have also found that what Nancy (my Nutritionist) told me is so true--it is a full time job just trying to get in all my fluids, protein and meds. Thank goodness my son is here to help as well as a friend. My son came to stay with me for a week ans is the one to make sure I get my vitamins, protein and water in each day. He set up a time schedule that is working great. He has also been preparing my meals for now. My daughter comes daily to also help and run errands etc. I also have a daughter that lives out of town with my grandsons--and they call me several times daily to check up on me. Don't know what I would do without their help and support. I must also add that I was also blessed with a fantastic roommate while in the hospital--even though she ran circles around me in the hall (I nick named her "spring chicken" because she is almost half my age)
Getting a bit tired and it's time for more protein--I will update more later. If anyone has any specific questions--please feel free to email me. As always, Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^
2-24-04 I will be 3 weeks post op tomorrow! My recovery has been better than I could have ever imagined. I have not experienced any pain whatsoever. I am still trying to get used to getting in all my vitamins, protein and liquids. I keep a small notebook to keep track of my fluid intake and also keep a food journal in which I also keep track of my meds, vitamins etc. I have been searching for other ways of coping with life issues rather than food (as per my therapist)--have started burning all the great smelling candles I have been saving for a "special occaision" (since surgery each day is a now special occaision). I listen to music more often and have stopped watching TV all the time. (used to binge while watching tv) Music relaxes me and is a great background to meditate. I also try to get out of the house more often even if only to go for a drive by myself. I will start back to work on 3/8 (I run a licensed child daycare in my home--over 20 years) Ihave NEVER had this much time off and must say I LOVE IT! (though I do miss my little guys running around) Now--to share some interesting things I have noticed since my surgery--!. 1. My fingernails are growing in very strong.! Never were before--guess it's the protein. 2. I can now fit into some pants that I haven't been able to wear for about 2 years! 3. I have stopped snoring. 4. I CAN FASTEN MY SEAT BELT!It's been about 3-4 years since I could do that. I am very anxious to weigh in next week at my 1 mo. visit. I will update after my visit with Dr. Lord.
3-13-04 My 1 month post op checkup went great. I am recovering with NO complications other than being tired. I was given the OK to start Stage 4 and sofar I have not had any negative reaction to anything I have tried. It's so nice to be able to chew again!! I finished my first week back at work and all went better than I had expected. I have lost 91 pounds since my initial visit with Dr. Lord in mid October....27 of those pounds since my surgery (as of 3/3). I feel so blessed to be given this opportunity for a new life--and will continue to follow the instructions I was given by Dr. Lord, Nancy and Jan. Also,--I wrote a letter describing my personal experience with NAVMEDCEN Portsmouth and the Bariatric Staff. I felt it was important that the Commanding Officer understand how vital this program continues to be to me. Hopefully they will continue to give Dr Lord the support in whatever avenue he needs it in order to provide this life saving surgery and follow up care to those who follow me. As always, Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^
5-9-04 I turned 52 yrs old yesterday--and thanks to Dr. Lord and his staff as well as all of you-- I am once again beginning to "live life". I had my 3 mo post op checkup on 5-6-04. Since surgery on 2-3-04 I have dropped 82 pounds. That added to the weight I lost before surgery--I am down 129 pounds!! Even though I still have a long way to go till goal----I have been able to do things that I have not been able to do in years. I have been making some major changes in my personal life in order to be able to go forward with this life changing process--- For me, this was not just a physical journey--I am also on an emotional and spritual journey and needed to "clean up" some loose ends in order to recover in all areas of my life. Some of these decisions were very difficult and painful, but VERY necessary. I once heard a saying that "If nothing changes....nothing changes" well, that is where I am at. Trying to get the courage to do what I KNOW in my heart is the right thing. I have started back to church and have found much comfort and answers just by listening going forward in faith with what needs to be done. I DO NOT want to "find" the weight I have lost---so, these changes are VITAL to my recovery. I have met so many wonderful people on this journey -- and I continue to be in awe of the blessings I have been given. Thank you to all of you who also share your journey. Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^
6-4-04 Just a brief update-- I weighed in before Support Group and now have lost a total of 141 pounds! (this includes weight lost before surgery) The clothes I bought last month are now too big. I am able to function so much better and am getting more mobile. I can actually now walk from the 2nd deck of the parking garage to Nutrition and weigh in then down to the cafeteria WITHOUT having to rest. The first time I tried it I had to sit and rest 3 times. Not bad for just being 4 mos post op. It's time to start trying to find an exercise regime that I can tolerate with my bad knees. Will update again next month. Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^
7-6-04 I was unable to get to Support Group this month due to massive traffic problems--so I had to weigh in the clinic nearest to me. According to that scale I lost 15 pounds last month---which makes a total of 156 pounds (once again this includes weight lost before surgery) Next month will be my 6 mo post op appointment with Dr. Lord -- I will be anxious to see the results of my labs. I am feeling better and getting around much easier as each day passes. I made a major decision to end a 5 year relationship I was involved in. It was a VERY difficult decision to make and even more difficult to follow through. As I tell my family and friends--doing the RIGHT thing is not always the easy thing to do. I have shed many tears and am fearful of once agin being on my own, but I have faith and am following my intuition. As I continue what I call "my new life's journey" I have no idea where it will lead, but I'm ready to travel the road to wherever it may lead. As
always, Angel on your Shoulder ^ii^
8-6-04 Just a brief update--Life continues to be full of wonderful challenges. I am finding that I am able to do more and more each day. I went to Support Group last night and weighed in -- I am now -171 pounds !! (this includes weight lost before surgery) My knees and shoulders continue to give me problems, but in spite of them I have started a mild exercise program. I know exercise is a VITAL part of a successful program, so I am doing as much as I am able. I should be getting a call for my 6 mo. post appt. very soon. I'm anxious to see my lab results. Angel on your shoulder ! ^ii^ ^ii^
8-20-04 Today was my 6 mo follow up appt. with Dr Lord. I was thrilled to hear that all my lab results were good. I am down another 9 lbs taking my total weight loss, including weight lost before surgery, to -180. I was told that I can stop taking 2 of my meds (actigal and thiamin)and also that I can stop crushing the remaining medications. It was suggested I use gel caps wherever possible. My next appt will be 9 mo. post op. My knees and shoulders continue to give me alot of discomfort in spite of my weight loss. I know that I probably have done damage to them while being super morbidly obese. It's time to start trying to find out just what the exact damage is--so I will make an appointment with my PCM and start that process. Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^
10-22-04 I am now 8 1/2 mos post op and have been "relieved" of 203 1/2 pounds, which includes the weight lost before surgery. I now have started doing many of those things I was physically incapable of doing. Such as: going to a movie, sitting in a restaurant booth, going to a concert, walking a short distance without feeling as if I would pass out, being able to get on a doc's examining table, sleeping on my back or stomach and the list goes on and on as I take risks each day to try and do other new things. I must say it's a bit frightening, but SO exciting at the same time.
I have been going to Physical Therapy for knee and shoulder issues. I was diagnosed with arthritis in both knees and several other knee ailments. My shoulders may have some rotater cuff problems, but the therapy is helping alot with flexibility, so...I am continuing with it. I am grateful those are the only issues I have after abusing my body for so many years. I may have to resort to shots for my knees since I cannot take any anti-inflamatory meds. I am putting off that decision and trying to give physical therapy time to "kick in".
I am also learning how to accept compliments and cannot say enough about how this surgery saved my life. I am so grateful to the "village" of people that have helped me along the way. My very supportive PCM, the very compassionate Dr Lord (surgeon) who's skillful hands saved my life, Jan (office coordinator), Nancy and Chris (Nutritionists), Hospital staff during my hospital stay, Physical Therapists, my family and friends that assisted me after surgery, my new Church family and many others. I am truly blessed with this awesome new life. Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^
2-6-05 I celebrated my one year surgery anniversay on Feb. 3. What an amazing year it has been! I have been blessed to lose 247 pounds(includes weight lost before surgery) by following Dr Lord and Chris' (Nutritionist)instructions and by keeping in close touch with other postop and preop patients. I have dropped 13 dress sizes and have gone from a 9 1/2WW shoe to a 8M. My one year follow up appt will be Feb. 11. At that time I will find out if my weight loss is still on schedule and get my "official" weight.
A very special THANK YOU to Tammy, Mona, Myra "Springchicken" and Katie---all of them were and still are an invaluable part of my recovery journey. This journey will continue as I start to investigate plastic surgery options and pray that Insurance will help with some of the expense. If not, I have also started to investigate financial options that will be feasible. I have come this far so Failure will NOT be an option! I am at peace with all of it--having faith that God is going to handle it for me--as long as I do my part. Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^ Cindy
2-14-05 I had my one year follow up with Dr Lord. All my labs were very good and my weight loss is now 250 pounds. According to Dr Lord I still have a 6 month weight loss window--I plan to continue just as I have and we'll see how much more I can lose in the next 6 monts. Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^
4-8-05 I am now 14 months postop. My surgery date was 2/3/04. Weigh in at Support Group was 198 pounds. My weight loss to date is -269 pounds. I continue to be amazed at the blessings I have seen since this surgery. I am now down 15 sizes and have started shopping for clothes for the spring/summer. Getting ready to take several short trips--one of them home to see family---some of them I have not seen in 6 years. I'm really looking forward to it.
MRI results for one of my shouders does show a considerable ammount of damage. But, I expected it---with all the abuse I put my body thorugh over the years. Good news is--Dr Lord says I should go ahead and have plastic surgery on my arms--so I have an appt. with my PCM to get a consult. I am doing research to find a surgeon that I will be comfortable with. Planning ot have this completed during the summer.
To all the preops out there---BE PATIENT--I know it's difficult, but the rewards are incredible! Also--follow the program--even if you don't like what they tell you to do. JUST DO IT !!
If I can be of any help to anyone--please do not hesitate to email me.
Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^ God Bless Cindy
6-6-05 Hi Everyone!I am now 16 months postop and at last wiegh in have lost 288 pounds.(I think) I had to weigh in on a different scale before my Plastic Surgery. This is the first time Ihave been able to sit at my computer to do an update.
I am now a proud member not only of the Dr Lord WLS Postop Club but also now of Dr Merrell's Postop Plastic Surgery Club as well.
I want to preface by saying my vacation to see family (lst time in 9 years) went GREAT! It was wonderful to see my brothers and siste and especially my Mom. It's just so sad that I wasted all those years in isolation and so miserably super morbidly obese--to the point I was embarrassed to even go see my family---But...those days are now over! The drive back to Va. was so beautiful--even though it took 14 hours (drove as far as my son's house in Alexandria-spent the night and drove the rest of the way home on Tues). Also brought my 16 year old grandson with me--he's now spending some time with his Dad. BUT--
I had a MAJOR surprise awating me when I walked back into my house!!The entire house had been BURGLARIZED while I was gone. I was soooo upset--to say the least. My surgery was in 1 1/2 days and I had to deal with police, forensics and all that fingerprint dust cleanup--making a list of all missing items---NOT TO MENTION---somewhat frightened to be back in my own house--since I live alone. All this while getting things in order for surgery----but that all passed and the "date" with Dr Merrell arrived on Thursday, June 2.
I arrived at the hospital at 6:00 a.m. and surgery was promptly at 8. What was supposed to be a 3 hour surgery--bilateral breast lift / augmentation and bilateral arm lift--lasted 6 hours. Scared my poor daughter! For whatever reason I bled very badly and he had to go extremely slow--not to mention he said he refined my arms 3 times before he was satisfied. After surgery he asked if I had ommited to inform them that I was taking aspirin on a regular basis. Told him NO WAY! was I on aspirin. Also, I was a bit taken aback when Dr M told me that in all his years doing surgery he has only had one other patient that had more loose skin that I had. So--all in all--I guess I was a bit more difficult to deal with than he had expected. I have to say---that I am soooooo glad that it was Dr M that was over me during surgery- and that I was in a hospital and not in a surgical suite in a plastic surgeon's office---just in case they would have had to give me blood or some other complication would have come up. Glad I did not try to cut corners and jumped in with Dr M when he said he would fit me in before leaving.
The results?? I am VERY pleased. I can't believe the amazing difference in the size of my upper arms! I have an appointment this afternoon with Dr M and will ask him how much skin they removed from my arms.(can't believe I forgot to ask right after surgery) It's truly amazing!
And, the girls?? Well-they are a smilin' BIG! They had been lQQking at my shoes for years. They are still swollen, of course---but I think the size will be just right when things are all healed. I hope one day to post before and after arm lift pictures.
Of course it's too early to think about the next round of plastics--tummy tuck---but after all his great effort for the best results--I am thinking I might just wait 3 years till he comes back.
I have not needed any pain meds since 2 days post op. I have a daughter that has really "come up to bat" for me--helping me with showers, bandaging my arms,while also taking care of my precious 4 yr old granddaughter and her wonderful husband as well as trying to keep up with normal household chores. I know this must be very draining on her. My daughter and son that both live out of the area --call daily for updates and to give moral support. I am so blessed to have such a wonderfully supportive family as well as treasured friends and neighbors that will come at my slightest need.
Sorry this is soo daggone long--I am not very good at giving the condensed version of anything.
Angel on your shoulder Cindy
8-19-05 I had my 18 month postop WLS checkup this afternoon with Dr Brooks at PNMC. I weighed in at 172 pounds. That makes a 295 pound weight loss from my all time high of 467 pounds. I have lost 16 dress sizes--from a size 44(not a waist size--but actual SIZE) or 6X to a size 14 and almost into a 12. My BMI is now 26.6---it started at 68. According to Dr Brooks I have lost 90% of my excess weight. He also said I have lost enough weight---I told him I want to lose 5 more pounds--(to make an even -300)he said that was fine, but no more. (I must say it was very surreal experience listening to him telling me that I have met my goal--reminded me of the commercial where they say "Are you talking to ME???") My labs were all very good. The one major area I need to work on is exercise. (I knew that) He impressed on me that the weight will creep back on if I don't do a little more exercise. From now on I will not be seen in the Bariatric office---future follow up will be with my PCM--Dr Sager . I have no prblem with this since she has been an invaluable and extremely supportive part of my journey. This subject leads me to update in another area also affected by my obesity.
Yesterday I had an appointment with Orthopedics at PNMC for shoulder and knee issues. They have been hurting for quite a while, but I had been hoping that with the weight loss it would get better....even had my arm lift a few months early----hoping for some relief----sorry to say----that was not the case. When I arrived I was told to "pick one"--they could not see me for both in one visit. Tough choice, but I chose shoulders--mainly because they keep me awake at night. The clinic wanted up to date xrays---then I had consult with Dr Birnstein who told me I need two total shoulder replacements!!! I knew they hurt and were going bad---but had no idea they were in such bad shape. I was told that I may be a candidate for cortisone shots for some temporay relief. For now I have chosen NOT to have the replacements--I can't take the time off for recuperation and, to be honest, the thought of joint replacement frightens me. I knew one day I would have to pay a price for all the years I abused my body---and the time has now come. But, as my son says "it's just mechanical"--and he's right--I have been blessed not to have heart issues, diabetes or other major co morbidities related to being super morbidly obese. So...I will deal with it as best I can for now.
As for plastic surgery update. Dr Billit (Dr Merrell's associate) is doing my follow up care. I did have some problems with my right arm--fluid build up near my elbow. I had to have a drain put back in for an extra week and that solved the problem. I also have a problem with my right breast--it isn't quite even with the left---so Dr Billit will perform an in office procedure to solve that issue as well. This will wait till after my 3 month postop appt (Sept 25). I also spoke to him regarding tummy tuck (have decided I would rather not wait 3 years) I am going to research other plastic surgeons as well. I need one that has dealt successfully with others in my circumstances--and so much loose skin.
Here are just a few of the "normal"things I can now do that were always such an impossibility and embarrassment:
Sit behind the wheel of my car (or anyone else's)
Fasten seat belt
Have my bloodpressure taken (preop--even obese cuff would not read my blood pressure)
Get up on examining table (it took 4 nurses to help get me up on examine table for a pap--needed in order to have WLS surgery), Weigh on a normal scale (always had to PAY and join Weight watchers to find out how much I weighed)
Sit in a chair with arms
Go to a movie (concert or restaurant with booths)
Go through a turnstyle
Hang my clothes on a hanger without them falling off
Hold my grandkids on my lap
Visit my son and see his beautiful house for the first time---also go into DC to visit his workplace and meet his coworkers, drive to visit my daughter, grandsons and the rest of my family in Indiana--also while in Indiana visit my dad's grave site and also that of my ex husband for the first time (see my update of 1-16-04),
Shop in an actual store and not just sit and order from a catalog and HOPE the clothes would be big enough to cover my massive body
Participate in the celebrations of family and friends that I previously could not attend--either because I could not find clothes to wear or I was afraid I would be an embarrassment to them or that I could not be accomodated because of my size.
This list could go on and on and on...but to those reading this---you get the idea.
I continue to take my supplements and vitamins. Even with a good weight loss I still have body image issues. Maybe they will go away in time....maybe not. I cannot even begin to adequately describe the difference this life-saving surgery has made in my life. It has been so wonderful to get out of my recliner and back into "life" outside my home.
I am eternally grateful to the "village" of wonderful family, friends and professionals it took to get me to this point.
To name only a few:
My wonderful children and grandchildren and the rest of my family.
My dear friends that also supported me along the journey and put up with me during the process which at times seemd never-ending.
My fantastic PCM--Dr Anita Sager---TriCare Prime Chesapeake--she got the "wheels moving" gave the initial referral to the Bariatric Clinic at Portsmouth Naval Medical Center--where I met the surgeon that literally saved me from living out the rest of my life as a super morbidly obese woman.
Dr Jeffrey Lord--an incredible surgeon, very forthright and up front--while truly caring for each and every patient--meticulous in his care.
Jan Carlo--Dr Lord's Case Manager--a truly amazing woman (also postop WLS) keeps Dr Lord's program running as one of the BEST!
Nancy Gouveia, Chris Zirpoli, Linda Barnes--Nutritionists that have guided me along the way with food, protein and vitamin choices. Now, I will be referring to Chris and Linda (Nancy now out of the area) for help with Maintenance.
ObesityHelp.com and ESPECIALLY the Virginia Message Board---full of supportive postops and preops---always there to share their experiences and give hope and strength to each other.
That's about it for now---I have been so blessed---Each day brings new "firsts" and amazing new opportunities. LIFE IS GOOD!
Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^ Cindy
11-2-05 I continue this journey of recovery and each new day is such a blessing. There are some minor "bumps" in the road--but nothing I can't over come. As I included in my previous update I am in need of 2 shoulder replacements. I need to update that a bit as I also am in need of having both knees replaced as well. Not quite sure how these issues are going to be resolved--I'm doing alot of praying for the answer. A great many things have to be worked out before I can even consider one of the replacements--let alone having 4 joints replaced. But, I have come this far--and I have faith that God will give me the path to follow-------just as He did with my WLS.
My "in office" procedure to have my breast sugery revised --turns out to be more complicated. I need to have both completely revised so it will be done at the hospital on an outpatient basis. Dr Billet is scheduled to perform my revision on 12/16/05.
I want to end by sharing something my wonderful WLS surgeon, Dr Lord told me at my 6 mo postop followup visit. He told me that one day I would weigh in the 150's range. I totally dismissed that idea as an impossible dream--one that was too much to hope for. Dr Lord looked at me and asked "Have I ever told you anything that has not come true?" I thought about it and, up to that point, the answer was a deffinite "No." He then looked at me, smiled and simply says "Just wait."
Today I had an appointment at the Total Joint Replacement Clinic at Portsmouth Naval Hospital. Prior to my appointment I went up to the 2nd floor and weighed in at the Nutrition Clinic. I have used the same scale since surgery to keep an accurate record of my weight loss. IT REGISTERED 157 POUNDS!! That makes my total weight loss 310 pounds--down from 467 pounds (my highest weight) My BMI started at 68--and now is somewhere in the range of 24. I honestly felt as if I were floating on a cloud. Tears came to my eyes and I recalled what Dr Lord told me at that postop visit. I thought about what it took for me to get to this point. I know this sounds a little strange---but it was very simple--yet not easy by any means. I prayed for God to help me along the way and followed Dr Lord's instructions for successful weight loss to the letter to the best of my ability. I had my prayers answered when I received patience and perservered through some difficult times these past 21 months since my surgery.
I would like to end by saying that today I learned an very valuable lesson this morning--- THERE IS NO DREAM THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO COME TRUE. Just follow your heart and pray for God's will---then, follow it. I am a living, breathing example that dreams can and do come true. If it can happen for me---IT WILL HAPPEN FOR YOU!!
As my pastor, Jim Wall, said in his message one Sunday "If you want to walk on water---first you have to get out of the boat". I will never be able to adequately thank my family, Dr Lord, dear friends and those on the Va. Message Board. I treasure each and every one of them. All of you helped me get out of my "boat" of Super Morbid Obesity.
That's about it for now---Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^ Cindy
3-25-06 It's been quite a while since I updated. I am now 25 months postop. Weight has stablized around 157-160. I am maintaining a weight loss of approx. -310 pounds. I was actually told by Nutritionists that I needed to gain weight as my body fat was only 13%. I am now supposed to keep my weight up to at least 160 lbs. I was told this around Christmas time. Up till that time I had not even tried sugar--well, I used this "needing to gain a bit" to try it--and found that I can tolerate small amounts of it. I am now sometimes tempted ---- and on one occaision did over do it. I had my first and ONLY episode of dumping at 22 months postop. I wish I had never even tried it. Live and learn. I DON'T RECOMMEND IT!!!!
My two year postop appointment went well. My PCM is extremely pleased that all my labs came out excellent. I had a CT scan which revealed a hernia along with several other possible problems -- hopefully none of any significance. I am to get another more intensified CT scan next week to make that determination. My knees and shoulders still give me problems and mobility issues at times--but I work with it best I can.
I continue to weigh on a weekly basis on the exact same scale each time in order to get a true record of my weight. If anything starts to change I want to know ASAP in case I need to adjust the way I am working the maintenance part of my recovery.
I feel terriffic! I continue to enjoy living a wonderful new life----going to all sorts of plays, concerts, travelling when I can. Plan to get a season pass to Busch Gardens this summer as I really enjoy roller coasters. I was in the intial stages of planning my first trip overseas (to Naples, Italy) but I am now getting ready for another surgery so..I think it will have to be postponed. I must say my absolute FAVORITE thing to do is is having "slumber parties" with my young grandchildren. They truly light up my life!!!
I have had a fantastic time shopping for a closet full of new clothes---mostly size 10 and a few size 8's. And did I mention shoes? I LOVE SHOES! A closet full of them also. It's great to know that the clothes I buy this season will fit next year.
I have embarked on another part of my journey---Plastic Surgery Round #2. I am on a wait list for a tummy tuck. Hopefully to be done the end of summer--not quite sure of the date just yet. My tummy tuck will be an anchor incision which will make for a bit rougher recuperation, however I know the end result will be much better and the doctor concurred. I am so blessed to have supportive children and friends that will come help whenever I need it. I think that this will be the final round of plastics for me. I need MUCH more but....at age 53--I think I've had enough. If I had much more my body would look like a quilt!
I would also like to say CONGRATULATIONS to my WLS roommate, Myra and her hubby, on the birth of their first child, a precious little girl. Katelyn is a very lucky litttle girl to have such wonderful parents! Love to you all!
If I can be of any help to anyone reading my profile--please feel free to email me. As always, Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^
6-24-06 Now nearly 29 mos postop my weight was stablized at 160-165 which is right where the Nutritionist wants it in spite of the fact I had gotten a bit lax in my water intake and some of my food choices weren't the best. I have noticed that in times of stress food has been "calling" like years ago so the past few weeks I have been back to good food choices and making sure I get in all my water. I still continue to weigh every week--and as of today my weight was down to 158. If it goes down much more I will again consult Nutrition.
My wonderful PCM, Dr Anita Sager, has left the TriCare system, so I now have to find another PCM. She was a very integral part of my weight loss journey. I hated to see her go, but she went on to a much better position--so I am happy for her.
I was given a call from Plastic Surgery at Portsmouth Naval Hospital and given a date of July 18 for total abdomniaplasty with anchor incision, muscle tightening and hernia repair. I was REALLY excited and making all the preparations for time off----then I got a second call that it was cancelled indeffinitely because Dr Hersh has been sent TAD overseas for at least 6 months. For several days I was totally bummed out. But, I do believe that everything happens for a reason, so I will try to be patient and wait for his return. I will be one of the first ones called when he is back.
I had a bone density scan done and was told I have osteopenia in spine and both hips. That certainly is not good news, but I am glad I am aware of it. I was told it was mainly due to aging (grrrr, getting older is NOT fun) My knees and shoulders are giving me alot of problems and I sometimes wish I could take medication for it, but I knew that I would never again be able to take those meds if I has WLS. I still stand by that decision.
I went home to Indiana to visit family. It was a great feeling to walk around in the airport and not feel as if people were staring at me and also quite a treat to sit in an airplane seat and actually have extra room. My next trip is coming up soon--once again I will fly. This time to New York to just relax for several days, spend time with my son and see a play and several concerts.
The change in my life has been nothing short of a miracle.
As always, Angel on your shoulder ^i^ ^i^ Cindy
1-1-07 HAPPY NEW YEAR! I am nearly 3 years postop and now weigh 154 pounds (down from my preop weight of 467) and have a total weight loss total of 313 pounds. I am now officially "normal" and also am now only 1/3 of my old self.
I have had a blessed year in spite of some serious complications that followed my anchor incision abdominoplasty (tummy tuck). I had about a 3 month recuperation period and am now back to my old self.
My tummy tuck was performed 8/23/06 by Dr Hersh at the Naval Medical Center. Dr Hersh did a splendid job---removed 7 pounds of excess skin and tightened all the tummy muscles leaving me with the tummy I had always wanted--FLAT! Several day after surgery I started to feel extremely fatigued, running a low grade temperature and even though I was in no pain something just did not seem right. My doctor was on leave (vacation) so I had to deal with another doctor during his absence. I spoke to him several times via phone and was told that what I was feeling was "normal" and to wait till I came in to have my drains removed. Thanks to a Physician Assistant in the office that took my complaints seriously I was sent to the ER and after thorough testing was readmitted with a Pulmonary Embolism. I was immediately put on heparin and Coumadin to help dissolve clots and prevent any others from forming. While in the hospital I started to develop major episodes of chills followed by a spike in temperature (spiked to 105.2 degrees) and also my blood pressure was very low (78/42). They ruled out any problems with my abdominoplasty--after several days of many tests discovered that I had developed an ulcer where the intestine and my gastric pouch were joined and that ulcer had perforated. THIS HAD NO CONNECTION TO MY GASTRIC BYPASS SURGERY. My abdomen was filling with all the fluid and I was quickly turning septic. Dr Lucha performed emergency surgery in the wee hours of the morning on Sept 8. He reopened my vertical abdominoplasty incision, untightened all the muscles in order to remove my spleen (it had been trying to absorb all the abscess) as well as do exploratory work to see if there was any more damage and remove all the abscess fluid in my abdomen. I have 4 days of NO memory following the surgery due to heavy sedation. My dear children were with me every step of the way---I was not aware of the severity of my situation (heavily sedated)---the doctors kept them totally informed through each process of my stay. I was told weeks later that the hospital staff asked that someone go to my house and bring in my Living Will and Medical Directive before my surgery because it was a deffinite possibility that I would not survive. How frightening that must have been for them.
Dr Lucha, Portsmouth Naval Wound Care Clinic, Nutritionists as well Home Health Care nurses and physical therapists did all my followup care. I was given a total of 6 bags of platelettes prior to surgery and the introduction of a main line because I had been on coumadin and hepparin for the blood clot. It was a precaution they took in hopes I would not bleed out during surgery. I had a weight gain of almost 90 pounds of fluid from those platelettes and all the IV fluid they forced through my body. (it took 5 weeks to get back down to my preop weight) I could barely walk (had to use a walker), could NOT walk up steps or care for myself. I was discharged after a 3 1/2 week hospital stay. My son moved in with me for 2 months until he was sure I could once again care for myself. My daughters were also a source of tremendous support--physically as well as emotionally. I am so blessed to have such wonderful children and grandchildren. My friends also stepped in to do whatever they could. They also stood vigil at my bedside during those days I was "out of it" and my fate was uncertain.
I was officially pronounced "totally healed" by Dr Lucha last week. My scar is NOT a pretty site, my tummy muscles are NOT tight as they had been after Dr Hersh had done the tummy tuck---but it is MUCH tighter than before the tummy tuck. I can now comfortably wear a size 8 jeans (pre gastric bypass I was in a size 6X) Dr Hersh said he would go back in and repair the scar--but I have no desire to have another surgery. I will consider that "ugly" scar and a badge of honor.
I consider that Physician Assistant to be my Guardian Angel and I also know it was God that guided the hands of Dr Hersh and Dr. Lucha. I am so blessed that I survived this whole ordeal. It was a wonderful holiday for my family and I. I look forward to 2007 knowing that wonderful things await !! Angel on your shoulder ^ii^ ^ii^
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