jessica_j435

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Well, I suppose it is time to update because it has been a couple of weeks and this is going to be a long post because I have a lot to write!

So the night before surgery I did not think that I was going to be able to sleep at all. But I actually was pretty calm and slept well! The next morning we left my house at about eight. My dad, mom and brother all came with me. I was actually fairly calm on the way up, (my doctor's office is two hours away from where we live) but of course I was still very nervous! We finally get to the hospital at about 11:15 and we walk in to register and sit down. A few minutes later, Lance comes in (my nurse who took my blood the week before) and says that they are about an hour behind in surgery. I was like oh my gosh that really sucks because now I have a whole other hour to sit and dwell about it! So we left and went a drove around for about an hour. And I was sooo thirsty but I wasnt allowed to have anything to drink so I was dying. Anyways we went back to the hospital at about..12:15 and sit down and wait for probably about ten minutes. Then one of the nurses came and got me and I had to go pee in a cup (I think it was to make sure I was not pregnant). Then I went into one of the rooms and put on my robe and it was very large lol. I thought it was going to fall off me. So anyway then I sat down and she asked me some questions, (that I had been asked like twenty times before) and then she told me to lay down and she got me a blanket, and then a warm one. She put the warm one over my arm..I dont know why but maybe to warm my arm up for the IV because she said I was cold. So then we wait about another 15 minutes and she comes back in to give my IV. I was nervous and asked her if they were going to numb it before and she said yes. So first she gave me the heprin shot in my stomach and my stomach is VERY sensitive so that more or less tickled then it hurt, it was just a little pinch. It itched but she said make sure not to itch it because it can get infected. So then she gave me a shot in my hand to numb me for the IV. Then she gave me the IV and it was really not bad at all. She was professional at it! I always thought that the anesthesiologist gave u the IV but it was just the nurse, not that im complaining because she was great. So anyways then I layed there for probably about an hour, watching TV because they were very behind. Then another nurse came in and talked to me about breathing in that little breathing thing they give you for after surgery. Then also these two nursing students came in and asked me if they could watch my surgery today. HOW EMBARASSING! LOL. They were both young and VERY good looking, one a girl and one a boy. So I was pretty embarassed but I was like yeah whatever, I couldn't say no! lol. And Dr. Richards came in and talked to me and said they just had to clean up the room from the last surgery and we would be ready. So I figured it would be like another hour. But about twenty minutes later they came to got me. I was so nervous. I said bye to my parents and they rolled me back through the doors. As soon as my parents walked off I felt the tears coming on, but I did not want to cry. They parked me in the hall for about fifteen minutes and the two nursing students sat and talked to me. Then the anesth. came through and gave me some calming down medicine, im not sure what it was but he said i would feel better, lol. Then I started feeling a little calmer and then a few minutes later they wheeled me into the operating room. I climbed onto the operating table and was embarassed cause I thought my butt was showing, but whatever haha. So then I layed down and they put the gas mask thing over me and said okay jessica im going to give you the anesthetic, you're going to feel a bit of a cold tingly feeling. so he puts it in, i felt cold and tingly then i was OUT COLD. haha. next think i remember was waking up in recovery and asked them how it went. They put on that brace thing that goes around your stomach and they were like, "it doesnt fit". I was like why am I too big? They were like, "NO! you're too little!" haha that made me VERY happy, cause not often is it that I am called little. The nurse that was with me was very nice. He was always right there making sure I was okay and getting me ice chips. I asked him the same question about how my surgery went about four times. And I also kept asking him about my parents and if they had talked to him yet. He gave me to shots of morphine cause I was hurtin bad, He was like k jessica i cant give you anymore. im like ahhhh but i think it was just gas pain. Finally he wheeled me into the other room where I could see my parents and they came back. I was so happy that I started BALLING (and I also think it was part of the anesthesia). The nurse was like most of my female patients cry after the anesthetic. haha. So then I layed there for who knows ..I think it was like one hour to an hour until i started feeling better. I was still hurtin so she gave me a perkiset (sp?) and that didnt help so then gave me a loratab and i was still hurtin but come to find out it was just the DAMN gas pain. So I was pretty drugged up by then! Finally I peed and they let me go home. The ride home was off and on to me. I would fall asleep, think i was out for hours then wake up and it would only be like ten minutes. And I was pretty uncomfortable.

The first few days really sucked, I didnt get much sleep at all and if I did sleep it was for a few hours during the day. I got up and walked as much as I could because the gas pain was horrible but even that definitely was not a quick fix. About the third day my shoulders and back really started to hurt so I had to use a heating pad. My port site would hurt once in a while, especially at night. Finally I was getting better and I would feel good during the day and be sick again at night. All of my friends came over to see me and brought me flowers and stuff which was really nice. My best friend was over pretty much everday and we watched movies and stuff. About the fourth or fifth day I went out for a drive because I was sick of being inside and it felt great but I got nauseated pretty fast. Anyways I went to my post op appointment this Friday the 10th. I was feeling much better and I actually got ready so I felt good. I got on the scale and guess how much I weighed...197!!! I about pissed my pants. When I started this WL journey on about June 13, I started out at 232. I have lost 35 pounds. I was SO excited and so was Dr. Richards. She was like wow that is amazing! And all of the receptionicts were telling me how good I look already, which made me feel really good too cause they were very cute! She looked at my scars and said they are healing good and I just asked her a few questions. I get to start pureed/mushies on tuesday and i cant tell you how excited I am. I am not gonna lie i had some cottage cheese today and the other day had a little piece of very moist chicken dipped in ranch. It went down fine though, I have not had any problems with throwing up. So I am recovering very well! I am not going back to work though, I was planning on it but my job is pretty physically demanding and I still get out of breath and hot really quick.

Anyways all I can say is I had some really depressed days where I was so pissed because all I wanted to do was eat. I would be so mad seeing all of the commericals on tv. Thinking if i hadnt of had this surgery, I could be eating that right now. But now I'm like you know im so happy that I got it. Yes it does suck, it isnt easy, HELL NO it isnt easy, and its not a quick fix. But I'm only a week out and I already love my band. One other really exciting this is lastnight I hung out with my ex boyfriend (we broke up about two years ago) and he just recently broke up with his girlfriend a couplue months ago. Well things of been weird because his ex hates me because we still talked and stuff but she moved a couple hours away thank god. But we did make out lastnight and it was FABULOUS!! haha so that was great for me and i felt HOT!! 35 POUNDS LIGHTER. lol

i love MY BAND!!!

Well I decided that I should post about my pre-op appointment. Everything went really good. We went up to Salt Lake which is about two hours away from my small little town. My dad, mom and brother all came with me which was great. We got there and first met with the nutritionist and went over what i should be eating before and after surgery and whatnot. I also have to wash my stomach with a special soap that night before and that morning. Then I met with the excericse girl (i never know what to call her lol) and she told me what my limitations were and when i could begin regular exercise again. Then we went and met with Dr. Richards. She is really nice I like her a lot. She weighed me right away and I have lost 15lbs since I was there last which was on June 13. I was sooooo happy!! I was really trying hard, eating better, not having pop and exercising more. She was very proud of me too which made me feel good. Then we went to get my labs and i was SOOOO scared because i pass out usually whenever I get my blood taken or a shot. So my dad came in with me and held my hand. The nurse, Lance, was very nice and did an awesome job. But we had some complications getting my blood! lol. Of course it would happen to me. So first he had a hard time getting my veins to show...so i had to pump this little liver he called it. To get my veins to show up so that really didnt help much. Then we had to switch arms and he finally found one. So he put the needle in and it barely hurt, he was really good. Then I would not bleed at all!! He was like hmm your not bleeding much at all. And he had to fill up four tubes. I was like oh my god you have to be kidding me. So then he thought maybe it was cause i was dehydrated and I couldnt have been because I had been drinking tons of water on purpose cause I did not want to have this problem! lol. Then he was like well maybe it is cause you are cold so he had to warm up my arm to get some blood flowing! So then he filled up one tube slowly and then decided he needed to get it from somewhere else. So he poked me in the hand and wow it did hurt a little im not going to lie but he was good about it. He said my vein was really deep, im like oh great thats probably why it hurt so freaking bad! Then I STILL would not bleed. So i think he was getting a little frustrated and he felt bad. Then all the sudden he said i started beeding like crazy lol. He got it on his gloves and on the floor it was kinda funny and i felt bad for him! But ahhh it was finally over. So then after that we went home. I had to start my clear liquid diet that day and the first was so-so. I was pretty hungry. And I was super tired and got a headache that night. The second day was pretty much HELL. i felt horrible. i felt so out of touch wit the world. all i did was think about food and how im NOT eating and everybody else is.. it was really not a good day at all. Today the third day actually was much better. anyways...only five more days till my surgery! im soooooooooo nervous!! but excited too...see you all on the losers bench!!

well the day is getting closer and im getting more scared! i'm trying to get used to eating how i would be with the lap band but i find its extremely hard..but i think that once i have the band i will know that i absolutely HAVE to because it could cause problems. anyways so ive been trying to chew chew chew..shoot me i hate chewing lol im the type to chew two or three times and swallow ..i know its not good. im also trying to not drink while eating thats also very very hard. but i have to do it so im trying. i think ive lost like eight pounds since may 13. i have to record my meals for my doctor and bring to my pre-op appointment. i have not had a pop since then and i also have been really good about fast food except for salads and stuff. except that the other night i had a small hamburger and fries. lol (hey im not gonna be able to eat this stuff once im banded!) anyways so in my opinion i have been doing very good. espeically considering i work at a taco time so theres food around me 24/7. lol but in august i go back to my job for the school year working at a school with mentally handicapped children so that should be better not being around that food! anyways im just babbling i dont know if people read this anyway haha... but yeah im scared scared but very excited, im ready to be on that losers bench with everyone else!!! i have to be on a clear liquid diet a week before surgery...not excited its gonna be tough but i know that i will do it because i want my surgery to go smoothly. anyways thats enough for now! :)

Well yesterday I finally got my date for surgery....August 3...only a month away and i know it is going to go SOOOO fast..im scared and excited and i have doubts about it EVERyDAY! ah but im just scared its gonna be hard adjusting to eating...im already starting because my doctor requires a written document of ur diet a month before but im craving things already...not good! oh well what i figure is people have bad days and tomorrow is a new? what can you expect..then i worry about the worst like something horrible will happen..i know its normal but ahhhh anyways im excited :) :)

Well i went to my meetings on Wednesday. I went to all of them at once because I live about two hours away from the doctor. Anyway everything went really well. I met with the dietician, psychologist, and exercise person(lol)...anyways it was all good! Oh and also had a short consultation with the doctor. She is very nice, I like her a lot. Also very cool that she is a girl. :) Anyways so im getting even more nervous! Even having some second thoughts...ugh but I know this is going to be extremely good for me. Sometimes I think..okay well seriously I COULD do this by myself, just eat better and exercise, because thats what you do with the band. But then I think more about it and I think that yeah id do that for a little bit then get back off like I always do. Start a diet then a few months later change my mind and not care anymore. So I know that with the band it is something permanent. I know it will help me the rest of my life. I know that if I don't get it I will keep getting bigger. Although im not huge now, it could happen. I just want to get my life back on track, now that I am young so I have an early start, I dont want to feel miserable about my body forever. I need to have fun in college and not feel horrible about the way I look! So then after battling with my thoughts. I realize you know what the band is the best decision for me. Of course I may have second thoughts, and Im sure everyone does! Thats normal! But I know its the best thing for me. I already stopped drinking pop, its been two days..wooo. ha. I have done it before and it helped a lot. Anyways and Im also trying to eat healthier. I have to track my weight and exercise before surgery, it is just what she likes to have her patients do. Which I think is a good idea because we need to have our heart and lungs and whatnot healthy for surgery. so work outs here I come! lol..ahhh so big..but i know its worth it.. :)

Well so on May 4th I went to the seminar for the lap-band/gastric bipass surgery. But I knew even before the seminar I wanted the lap-band. We had to attend the seminar before we even could start the process. So then we got a twelve page paper we had to fill out. I filled it out and sent it in about a week ago. Then yesterday I called the doctors office to see if they had received it and how the process was going and she told me that I was approved! I was suprised at how quick it happened! I guess I expect doctors to take forever! haha anyways I WAS SOOOOOO EXCITED!! I set up an appointment for June 13. Because i live two hours away from the doctors office/surgical center. We were able to schedule all of my meetings and appointments in one day. I will meet with the psychologist, nutrionist, and excercise counsler (or whatever the term is! lol) Anyways then i will have a couple other meetings that are required before the surgery. Then the next step is to schedule pre-op and then surgery woooohooo! I'm planning on getting surgery about the end of july or beginning of august. I am self-paying because my insurance I have does not cover the lap-band. My family does not have the money to pay for the surgery so we are taking out some loans to pay for it. It sucks but it is going to all be worth it in the end im so excited. I have about half of the money needed so far and we are just waiting on a few other things to get the rest of the money. I can't wait! I'm excited to begin this process and start my new life!!