Jennybird

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I sat in a booth comfortably and had room for the napkin on my lap!

Last night the family went out to eat at an Indian restaurant for my son's birthday.  I let my son pick booth or table and he jumped at the booth.  I looked at the table - attached to the wall, not going to move.  I moved toward the seat and noted that with both booths filled on either side, the booths were not going to move either.  I feared this was going to be uncomfortable. 

I sat and slid in first prepared to squeeze but smiled at the ease with which I did this.  We had plenty of elbow room, padded seats, and I actually had space between me and the table for my napkin to function as designed.

Happy dance!

AArgh!

I tried to increase my exercise and water to solve the big, hard bowel issues.  The result is massive gout attack.  I had been given clearance to go back on the allopurinol when I started getting twinges last week.  Today I am debilitated, using a cane and barely able to move.  I am cleared to use colchicine again but no steroids.

Also, this foot pain seems to have increased my drive to eat real food and has increased my pouch capacity.  This is something I will discuss with my psych doc.  i haven't binged or eaten terrible kinds of foods but I have eaten larger amounts than i have been able to last week.  I fear that I am using food for comfort.  old habits.  I am really focusing on detailed journalling to track all of the food going in.

I tried the new chili at taco bell (without fritos) intending to save half for the next day.   In reality I ate the last 3 ozs 2 hours later.   I loved eating something with taste.  Savory. Warm.  I did the same thing today with a small chili from Wendy's.  Saved half for the next day then went ahead and ate it 4 hours later. 

I just want to be able to walk without pain.  My husband had back surgery yesterday and its my turn to take care of him.  Instead I am practically paralyzed and little help. 

Tomorrow will be a better day!

As sore as i felt I was so surprised that the staples came out with so little fanfare.

I am eating real food.  Yogurt and turkey today with big plans for tuna muffins made with cottage cheese and eggs tonight.

I guess things are normal now.  Time to get on with everyday living.

So it is 3:30 am and I can't sleep.  I got up to make a warm drink, some low carb chai I bought from bariatriceating.  I assumed if it was for sale there it was ok.  Yes,, I know what they say about assuming.

Alas, after drinking 1/2 of it I realize that it has 11g carbs-  g in alcohols like malitol!! All of this is a big no-no 6 days after surgery.   AND on closer reading, it doesn't say anywhere on it that it is decaffeinated.  It says it contains black tea.  Sounds good and caffeiny, right?  Zut alor!

So while surfing around for info on my carby beverage and the dangers of caffeine so close after surgery, I came across warnign signs to report to the doc.  Acute increase in depression is listed.  Now I get to ruminate over whether my weepy sleeplessness is worth reporting as acute depression.  I was cleared to start taking my anti-depressants after surgery but I take three pills to get the right dose.  Apparently taking all threee at the same time was a bad idea and I nearly threw up on my first full day home.  I haven't tried taking them since. 

Additions to the epiphany list:

I can't take all of my meds at the same time in one big handful anymore.  Pouchy can't tolerate the abuse I used to subject on old Papa Pouch.

I have a little pillow I use as a tummy pillow.  The books said i'd need a pillow for the car to stabilize my tummy during the jostling of the ride home.

Now 4 days post op my tummy pillow goes with me everywhere.  I guess i am feeling the stretch and pull of the rerouted organs.  It feels like my insides are sliding.  Every step hurts.  Getting out of the chair hurts.

This decides it!  i must invent a heavy person pooch sling.  For years the bounce-tug-slap of the spare tractor tire has limited mobilty.  Post surgery, that familiar motion is at the heart of this pain. 

I spent one night in the hospital though I am not sure I slept much.  I loved my nurses and CNAs at Shawnee Mission Medical Center.  What Iliked the least was the x-ray ride.  The drink was hideous and the motion was disturbing.   I think I was a bit woozy.

I loved eating ice chips.  My throat hurt really bad.  I think I will cotinue to eat ice chips.

Today, I gave myself the shot of lovenox (love toxin?)  It was really no big deal.  I thought the needle looked bigger than I expected but it was fine in the end.  Not even a sting.

So I am looking forward to some more broth and sugar free jello.  Also a protein drink and some isopure to add the protein.

I am annoyed by my work people but at the same time I don't care.  I may need to pop into work briefly tomorrow to attend a meeting I thought someone else was going to attend.  My health is the number one prority here.

My wonderful husband is taking care fo me today.  Some yummy broth is here for me to sip on.  I don't notice the little tummy yet.

Resting. At Peace.  

Grateful.


Jennifer Morris




 

Milestones - Completed my EGD and Bloodwork.  Rescheduled pre-op education class for when my husband can come with me. 

I have been doing a "clear" liquid diet as directed 2 weeks prior to surgery.  Challenges this weekend include husband's return, birthday for 14-yr old, and lots of time around a house full of things I can't eat. 

I have been asking my kids to make some of their own meals.  We avoided pizza night.  The pasta they ate sounded good but the smell made me nauseous. 

I have had broth and consommee and A LOT of sugar free jello.  I bought the unflavored Isopure to add to stuff per nutritionist.  I noticed that this does not make it clear after added. 

And unflavored is a misnomer.  I added some unflavored protein to a vitawater and the frothy cloudy drink was difficult to choke down.  Added to the broth it is not so bad but I cant see adding it to eggs and other favorites in the future.  Un flavored my a$$!

I did find out that I adore the Isopure Zero Carb RTD Alpine Punch that came in my protein samples from barieatric eating.  I am going to purchase some of these for future use.  I will shop around for best price but this was definitely a good flavor.

I am taking an ounce- a -day Liquiimax multi-vitamin I got from Costco.  Not bad.  I also have the bariatric advantage chewables.  I am adding the calcium chews for now.  I may wait the b complex and other special one for post surgery since the liquimax contains those and for now I have a normal stomach.

EGD was painless but the loss of a whole day to sleeping was not good.  I needed to try working from home.  I hope to work from home for a few days after the surgery in February.

I keep plugging along.

Wow!  What a difference a day makes. 

My husband is coming back after all.  His back issues have extended into his leg and will keep him from the deployment to Haiti relief efforts.  So he is coming home in time for me to have my surgery. (And then he can have surgery, too). I called and am going to keep my original dates for pre-op stuff.  I started my liquids 2 days late (and after my wallowing binge) but will follow through.

More insights from this 4-day whirlwind:

1.  I am still a binge risk when the chips are down.

2.  My family's support is very important.

3.  I sometimes feel guilty about the me-centeredness of this decision and the impact it has on others. 


Blood test in the am, then EGD Thurs.  I should sleep.

I have to reschedule my surgery.  My husband has been called to active duty to help with recovery efforts in Haiti.  I can't have this surgery and not have him here. 

I've lost more than 12 pounds in two weeks of experimental post-surgery dieting.  The prospect of delaying for up to 6 months has really bummed me out.   In the past two days I have had two boxes of girls scout and 2 bags of cinnamon heart candy.

Not passing this test well, am I?

To get back on track I am going to read Mindless Eating recomended by the psych Doc.

I will meet with the nutritionist too.  Maybe work up a real nutrition plan made of post op foods to practice.  

I just wanted to get moving on this.  Now I have to deal with deployment stress, teenagers, and college graduation by myself.  I had the luxury of being very self focused about preparing for the surgery.  Life reminded me it isn't my mission to be for myself.

I have spent the past two weeks trying to live on the post-RNY maintenance (solid food) diet and preparing myself for the pre-op liquids diet (which I start next week).  Not rigidly, just experimentally, since portion size is inconceivable for me today.

> I can live without bread, pasta, and potatoes.
 
> Protein drinks aren't bad and have the potential to be downright yummy.

> I am a water gulper.  Changing to an all day sipper will require discipline.

> Chewing roast beef 20 times before swallowing reveals how very dry beef can be. I guess I used to just swallow that!

> I need to find sauces and marinades to add moisture to solid foods.

> Without water and bread and clean plates, what will I do with my hands when I am out to eat?  This is a topic to bring up with psych doc and support group.

> I tend to skip breakfast and lunch on work days but not on weekends.  I should keep a supply of powders on hand at work and easy to grab options at home to pack for lunch.

> My daughter knew about my tendency to skip meals.  She has harbored worry that I would not eat breakfast and lunch post-surgery causing myself injury or death.  I will commit to eating breakfast and lunch and will involve her in my meal tracking

> Finding the right chewable or mixed with water vitamins will be trial and error. 

> While I do not know yet whether I've lost any weight, I have more energy and am breathing better with exertion.  Weird, huh?  Just from daily vitamins, lower carbs and higher protein.

> I abuse sugar-free products such as low-carb high protein bars, puddings etc.  Hopefully my pouch will help me here.  For now, i will not purchase these.

Surgery on Feb 1!  Bring it.  I am readay.