Melodie R.

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I cant believe how fast this year has gone by.  June 6th will be one year since I had my RNY.  I managed to reach my goal weight in about 8 months which was about 113 lbs.  I have since however; lost an additional 10 lbs and went downto 125 lbs which is too little I find.  Some people have said I look smaller than 125 and I look too small while others say I look good and I shouldn't change.  Me personally feel that I lost a bit too much and look too small.  My boyfriend loves the way I look.  I could just be being too hard on myself because I don't remember being this small.  Other than that, I am very happy with my progress and the best thing is that I am finally healthy.

The only issue I have experienced is low blood sugar a few times but that is only when I have eaten too much sugar. I feel somewhat lucky that I can actually handle small amounts of sugar without dumping.  I really have to watch it though.

The most recent and exciting news is that my boyfriend and I are expecting our first child. We tried prior to surgery but had experienced a miscarriage.  Neither of us have children so this is exciting since we are both 40 and weren't sure if it would happen.  I know they say we should wait 18-24 months but it just happened.  My dietician was very happy to hear the news and wasn't too concerned because I had already reached my goal weight.  She has been working closely with me regarding my nutrition intake.  Its all been a matter of fitting more calories in.  I haven't really gained much weight but after reading several posts of pregnancies after post op surgeries, apparently its normal to not gain much.  Its mainly important to get as much nutrition in as possible.  I was told, the weight will come on in time.

Well thats my latest for now.  Hope everyone else is just as successful.

 I am 10 and a half weeks post op and up until maybe a week and a half a go everything was going great other than not getting enough calories in.

About a week and a half ago, I started to feel a slight ache in my mid back section.  I didn't really think much of it but then it got worse.  It got to the point where I had to take one of my oxycodone that I got after surgery.  I did some research and apparently with the rapid weightloss, our bodies and spines shift.  It has affected my work a little bit but I have really good clients and very understanding ones too.  I am on modified duty at work but I am at a point where I feel I need to take time away from work to get back on track.  The pain I feel in my back started out like just a big ache but in the last couple of days it seems to have shifted a bit and now feels like a stabbing pain and is now mostly felt under my right shoulder blade.

My boyfriend is amazing, he has been massaging my back and putting ointment on it in addition to me taking extra strength tylenol.  I have also had to go to the chiropractor twice within 5 days.  My chiropractor says that the middle of my spine seems very jammed up (her words) and very tight.  I feel fine immediately after the adjustment but within hours it comes right back.  I decided to try Robaxacet and it doesn't work as well as extra strength Tylenol.  Tonight I did some stretches by pulling my arm back behind my head and down to see if that works.  As of right now, I am doing okay but I am also now starting to notice a bit of aching in my hips.  Nothing severe but I have a feeling that it could get worse if it is this whole shifting thing.

I did quite a bi of research before the surgery about post op complications or issues and no where did this come up.  I definitely think they should advise us of this.  Maybe in some places they do but in Toronto, they never did.

On a better note...I had my 1 month post op appointment with my Dietician (it was actually 10 weeks before I got in) and she was quite pleased with my progress.  In 10 weeks, I have lost 44% of my excess body weight.  She said normally around this time, the average is 25-30% so I am higher than the average.  She also gave me some good tips on eating and getting more calories in.  Since I was only taking in around 500 calories, I was experiencing a lot of fatigue.  I am now up to 700 calories by adding healthy snacks.  She wants me between 600-900. Outside of my back issue, my energy levels have increased.

My stats go like this right now.  Pre Optifast, I was 242 pounds (my highest weight was 248), pre op, my weight was 231 lbs.  I was wearing a size 3X top and size 24 pant size at my heaviest.  I am proud to say I am now at 195.2 pounds and wear an XL top and size 18 pant.  I still have a long way to go but I am very proud of my successes so far.

As for food, I am on the regular diet now (well the beginning of it) but I still find a few foods that don't sit well.  I have not experienced any dumping or vomiting.  When I eat, if I even start to feel a bit of discomfort in my pouch I stop eating immediately.  One of my biggest fears with this is the vomiting and dumping so I am trying to avoid that as much as possible.

One symptom that I have recently started to experience which of course is common is the dreaded hair loss. I have fine thin hair to begin with due to my thyroid  but now it is falling out like crazy.  I have been taking 5000mcg of Biotin even before surgery but it is not woking as well as I thought it would.  My dietician told me to take Zinc Citrate for 2 months.  Apparently that will help.  Today was my first day taking it.

I also started taking the Calcium chews which through Bariatric Advantage is not too bad.  There is a bit of a chalky taste but it is way better than the liquid.  For anyone on Ontario, Shoppers Drug Mart at Toronto Western is carrying them now.  I haven't checked my local Shoppers but they may carry them in your area. I refuse to order from Bariatric Advantage directly because when I called about shipping, they said its $40 to ship to Canada and thats on top of the actual order.  I am glad they finally have a place here to get them now.

Well thats it for now.  I hope everyone else is doing well.  Thanks for reading and hopefully the next blog I do, I won't be experiencing such back pain.

 Its hard to believe but it has already been 6 weeks since my surgery.  Other than the few bumps in the road at the beginning, things have been good.  I am down 44 pounds (from my highest weight and not including 7 lbs lost prior to starting the process).  The 7 lbs was lost was due to a medication change a few months prior to surgery, so with just the surgery process, I have lost 37 lbs.  Also after 1 month post op, I was down 16 1/4 inches in total and my BMI has dropped around 8-10%.

 

It is still a learning process and definitey not an easy way to lose weight (although there are people out there that believe this is the case).  Following the surgery there are so many things that change in your life.  I am still learning what I can eat and what I can't eat at this stage.  Right now I am on the soft food stage.  I can now eat scrambled eggs but usually only half an egg fills me up.  Everyone is different. One book that I read said at this stage I should be able to eat a whole scrambled egg, half a piece of toast with 100% fruit spread (no added sugar of course), but for me, I can't fit all that in.  I tend to stop eating as soon as I feel full, I don't wait for the discomfort feeling they tell us about because the last thing I want is to over load my pouch (new stomach) resulting in it not staying down.  I try to be very careful with the foods I eat and how much.  I am currently managing about 500 -700 calories a day if I am lucky.  I have to drink lots of water and no gulping allowed.  It has to be little drinks at a time so basically my job is to drink all day...64 oz a day.  I have come to enjoy the odd "mio" drink enhancer and sometimes even Crystal Light which I swore before I would never drink but look at me now...I'm actually enjoying it.  Most of my water though is straight water.

 

I have had a few incidents involving food which left me feeling very uncomfortable which falls right into the area of learning what I can and can not tolerate right now.  Red meat, even a homemade hamburger patty broken up in tiny pieces doesn't sit well.  I am not really supposed to have red meat just yet but I thought I would try it.  Chicken on the other hand, I have no problem with.  I am still trying to stick to softer foods though.  Mashed potatoes (from the box) are so good (thanks to my friend Tami for that tip).  I am also apparently supposed to be able to eat melba toast so i tried it with mild salsa and it tastes so delicious, however; The discomfort I get has me knocked down resting about 20 minutes after so I have stopped eating that.  My snack now is plain old soda crackers (salted of course) and I am really enjoying it.  When Al has his snack of choice (chips or anything else), i reach for the crackers (i only eat about 5)...its one of those lessons you have to teach yourself.  Eventually I will be able to eat almost anything within reason (low fat and no sugar added) but for now I am taking it all one step at a time.

 

I also take regular vitamins and my regular pills throughout the day and a few of them have to be spread apart by 2 hours.  That is sometimes hard to remember but I manage to get them all in.  I learned that liquid multi vitamin is absolutely disgusting and it didn't take me long to start taking the chewables.  I am still taking liquid Calcium with vitamin D but soon I will be switching to the chewables for that as well.  These will be things I will need to take for the rest of my life which at this point, doesn't bother me.  I have made myself a schedule and chart where I mark off each time I take either a prescription pill or vitamin since I am doing it throughout the day.  It helps me remember.  I also have to take B12 but my choice of method has been the B12 shot once a month because it goes right into my system and is absorbed the best.

 

I still fnd myself coming across the odd person who questions my choice in getting this done but that is their opinion.  So far it has worked for me.  I still have a ways to go because I will eventually hit a plateau where I stop losing weight for a while.  They say it should take about a year to a year and half to reach my goal weight if I follow the rules, however; some people I know have lost it within a year.

 

Since the surgery and knowing that my body can't handle certain things, I have become so involved in learning about healthy foods.  I read labels, I calculate foods and calories I take in and even sometimes try to spread the word of good healthy eating so that other people can take that step to a better healthy lifestyle.  Whether they take my advice or not, its up to them.  I can only try to spread the word.

 

Having Weightloss Surgery is a personal decision and is not for everyone.  I think first and foremost, you have to be ready for what you will be experiencing.  It is not just a matter of getting your stomach stapled, banded or bypassed and thinking you can go back to the way things were before.  It is truly a whole new lifestyle.  First and foremost, you have to be mentally prepared.  The entire process for me has been a mental one.  There have been times that I wanted to have a few chips but I think to myself, what will that do to my progress...I could decide to keep eating them like I used to and then start getting the cravings again or I can take a chance of getting a dumping syndrome episode (google Dumping Syndrome to find out what it is).  I can also make the right decision and choose a healthy snack or nothing at all.  Since surgery, I have had about 5 episodes of discomfort relating to foods that at one point I could tolerate but now I can't.  I have never let it get to the point of excessive pain or vomitting.

 

Another big thing in being successful is exercise.  Within a week after surgery, I was slowly starting to go for walks.  After 2 weeks, I was walking 3-4 km's a night and even took at 9.7 km bike ride (which I think might have been too much thinking back) but  the energy you get is awesome. I have since started Zumba classes and although I am just starting out and trying to learn the steps, I am having fun even though its kicking my butt....lol

 

There are so many things that Weightloss Surgery can cure or help you with including, High Blood Pressure, Diabetes and sleep Apnea (which is the reason I was referred and had it done).  My excess weight was causing me to have health problems and Sleep Apnea was one of them.  These are all considered co-morbidities and people with these and other issues can die from them.  Within 3 weeks of the surgery, I realized, I was able to fall asleep and sleep an entire night without the dreaded CPAP mask (required to aid in breathing while you sleep).  I am sure I still have sleep apnea but possibly just minor now.  I won't know until I hit my goal weight and have another sleep study done to know for sure.  I can sleep with no mask but after so many years of wearing one, I will sometimes still put it on for a few hours in the night.  Might be a comfort thing.  But this just proves that this type of surgery can be successful in aiding other health problems.

 

I am now into regular size clothing (from the hips down are on the borderline of plus and regular but that is coming along).  Being able to shop in a regular store and not only a plus size store or section feels amazing.  There is so much more selection and much nicer clothes also. Its almost like a kid in a candy store feeling...lol.

 

For anyone who is thinking about getting this done or if you know someone who wants to get it done, I have a few tips that have definitely helped me:

 

1/  first and foremost, make sure you are mentally prepared for the change and that you have tried everything else first.  This is not a quick fix to getting skinny or losing weight, although some people may tell you it is.

 

2/  Make sure you are doing this for yourself and nobody else.

 

3/  Research, Research, Research.  Read books, talk to people who have had it, attend support meetings (2 really good books to read is from the dummies series - Weightloss Surgery for Dummies and Weightloss Surgery cookbook for dummies).  The cookbook one is not just a cookbook, I learned more from this book than from anywhere else.  It is very detailed.

 

4/  Once the process is started, follow through on all your appointments

 

5/  Listen to your doctors, surgeons and specialists to a tee.  Do not stray thinking that you know better.  These doctors and specialists deal with bariatric patients every day and they have seen the good and bad outcomes.

 

6/  Once referred, start changing your eating a little at a time.  An example of what you "can't" do after surgery is drinking with a straw or drinking carbonated beverages.  You must also chew your food 20-30 times till it is like mush (gross i know), take smaller bites, take 20-30 minutes to eat your food, and concentrate on your food and what you are eating.  These are some things you can try to do and prepare yourself for.

 

7/  Don't let people try to change your mind.  No matter how hard you try there are people out there who will not believe in this surgery.  Stick to your guns and know that what you are doing is the right thing if it means bettering your health...and the doctors and specialists would not have accepted you if they didn't believe it was the right thing to do.  In the last 2 years since I started the process, I have had both positive and negative reactions.  I do my best to not let it get to me which is very hard for me on a personal level.

 

8/  Find Weightloss Surgery websites such as ObesityHelp.com and read up on them (there is an area for Canadians on there under the forums)

 

If you are someone who knows a loved one or friend who is having this done, my advice to you is to support their decision.  I believe that not only does it affect the person having the surgery but everyone around them, friends and family.  Support them by researching and reading up on how you can support them.  Learn everything about it along with the person having it.  Having the right support is one of the biggest factors a person needs who is having this.  I have been lucky to have many people (friends and family) support me through this process.

 

To end it off, although I have had a few ups and downs and i am sure I have said this already, I don't regret my decision because the light at the end of the tunnel in this journey I am on continues to get brighter and brighter.  I am looking at how this will only better my future, personally and health wise.

Things are much better since my last update which was me heading back to TEGH (Toronto Eastern General Hospital).  I ended up back in the hospital for 2 days.  I was in emerg from 6pm until they finally got me admitted at around midnight.  The doctor sent me for xrays and nothing could be found and then he said that since he is not really familiar with the RNY, he didn't want to take a chance and send me all the way home to Niagara falls  without for sure knowing everything was fine.  Apparently they have a proticol he said that if any Gastric Bypass patients come into emergency, their surgeon is to be called in.  They called my surgeon and they said she was going to come in but she didn't show up.  I wasn't happy about that.  TEGH is known as a teaching school and I was basically handed over to med students to be looked after.  No surgeon who was familiar with the surgery even showed up until the next day to see me.  WHile in emerg, they were going to send me home but after discussing it with a sr resident, they figured it could have been a twisted hernia that wasn't able to be seen in a regular xray.  The sr resident decided to have a catscan done which meant calling in a technician at 11pm.  She wasn't happy i don't think. 

The next day since the pain had gone away for 12 hours, i thought they would let me go home but nope, the doctor wanted to keep me for observation to see if the attacks I was having occurred when I ate or drank.  The pain never came back but the area of my pouch was very tender.  I guess the attacks had me cocentrating on them and not realizing my pouch was very tender which was nothing compared to what I was experiencing under my left rib.

For the first full day there, I walked around and it seemed like I didn't need to be there. I went outside and just hung out with my boyfriend.  The worst part was having to try and eat that aweful oatmeal for breakfast.  The day I left there which was the Monday morning, I just refused it and decided to go with nothing.

On the 2nd day and the day of my release, even though my surgeon was in the hospital, and they asked her if she wanted to see me, she still didn't come so again I am not impressed.

Upon discharge, the nurse seems to think that the pain I was having and the attacks  was possibly trapped gas under my rib cage from the surgery.  I guess we will never know.

Since coming home, the first couple days, I took it easy but then my energy level has increased so much.  I still get the odd weird feeling inside but I have been going for long walks and even went for a long bike ride (maybe longer than I should have) but it felt good to be on a bike again.  Now I am concentrating on learning about eating and meal planning and also getting all my pills and vitamins in.

The first 2 weeks were not the best for me but I know that I am on the right path.  I have lost about 12 pounds since the surgery but more in inches.  I am down 2 pant sizes from a 24 to a 20 and i recently was able to go shopping in a real store (not plus size) and I can now wear an xl top.  My profile picture shows my new top.

My sleep apnea has also gotten better.  A couple of times, I have fallen asleep without it and have not woken up and my boyfriend says my snoring is only sometimes now (and I snored bad before at my heaviest weight. I know this cause he taped me one night..lol).  My only problem now with my sleep apnea is that if I forget to put my mask on, I don't feel like I had a full night sleep and am tired in the morning.  The other issue is I have started sleeping with my mouth open so when I do use my mask, it is completely drying my mouth and throat out which is waking me up...its almost like my saliva ducts aren't working when I sleep like that because of the air pressure.  I called my sleep specialist and his secretary said I need a new full face mask now.

Overall though, I am very happy with  my decision to get the surgery.  Everything is now working out.

Well it has come down to the point where the discomfort and pain has not gone away.  been to Emerg in Niagara Falls,  Dr of course knew nothing.  Went to my family doctor for my 1 week follow up and she had me take a laxative for possible constipation.  That is not the problem as I have figured all along but I was going by what the doctors were telling me.  Had a bad attack on Thursday and another slightly less one but still very hard to bear last night.  I talked to Telehealth and they have advised me to go back to the hospital where they know what to do so heading to Toronto East General in a few minutes.  Hopefully I will get an answer this time.  I just want to be like all other post op patients and be able to do stuff.  I can't wait to be able to start exercising so the weight will start falling off.  Fingers crossed its nothing serious.

The last couple of days have seemed to have been very hard for me.  I am only 5 days post op and have fallen into a depression.  I suffer from major depresive disorder and before the surgery, I was expecting things to be different.  I was expecting to be happy but I'm not.  I finally figured it out that it is my antidepressants.  I am currently on Cymbalta which happens to be a slow extended release capsule.  I went over my meds with my doctor prior to surgery and she said there was no problem with any of my meds and they could be crushed or opened.  For the first 4 days, I have been doing just that. Ever since surgery, my moods seem to have been getting worse and last night I realized that my anti depressants are not working.  For the last 2 days, I have been also getting very bad headaches.  I tried to get in to see my family doctor before my 1 week follow up but she is booked or out of the office.  I went to my pharmacist who is well aware of my pills but the one I normally deal with wasn't there today so I talked with a new pharmacist.  I explained that I needed to know if there is an anti depressant that is not time released. He checked and he said Cipralex is which is what I was on before the Cymbalta.  He told me I need to talk to my doctor and I said I cant see her till Friday.  He said to me, can't you wait till then.  Obviously he knows nothing about people who suffer from Major Depressive Disorder.

I came home and decided to take a Cipralex pill (as much as I know I shouldn't have without seeing my doctor but I had to try something).  I then made an appointment with the walk in clinic to discuss with a doctor but as I got there, I couldn't find my health card so I couldn't go in.  Last time I used it was at the Hospital.  I looked everywhere and could not find it. The only time I ever take it out of my purse is if I need it.  I immediately broke down and just lost it.  It didn't help that one of my best friends who promised that she would come see me today, bailed on me (which I shouldn't be surprised).  That just sent me over the edge.  It took me about a good hour to come around but I decided to get up and take our dog for a walk around the block.  I think it helped a bit.  I just hope that the Cipralex will work for me at least until I see the doctor on Friday.

I was so nervous and scared going into the hospital on my surgery date (June 8, 2012).  I even had thoughts of if I was doing the right thing.  I kept saying to myself that yes it is the right thing.  It was my fears which were trying to take over.  I had my surgery at Toronto Eastern General Hospital.

First thing I did was get registered and then I was sent upstairs to the first waiting room.  I was then called in by a nurse to get ready, gown on, blood thinner given through injection and my IV put in.  This nurse was so nice.  She had been there for 30 years.  I didn't even feel the IV go in, thats how gentle she was.  She even put it in my arm rather than my hand so I could have more use of my hand after surgery.  Once she was done, she sent me back out to the waiting room where my boyfriend was waiting.  About 15 minutes later, a group of us were called to follow another hospital worker to a different waiting room.  This was the last stop before going into the operating room.  We patiently waited about an hour  before my surgeon Dr. Mary-Ann Aarts came out to talk to me.  She asked me in her happy demeanor how I was feeling and if I lost any weight while on the Optifast.  I told her I lost 10 pounds in the 2 weeks but about 17 or 18 pounds total since starting the process.  She was pleased.  She then told me she would be back in about 10 minutes and then we would get under way.  It was about 20 minutes before one of the operating room staff members came and got me.  We walked to the area where the operating rooms were and We went into operating room 2.  When I walked in there was 2 other workers, one on a computer and one getting the tools and stuff ready.  Thea anesthesiologist came in and introduced himself.  I got up on the operating room table, laid straight while the worker who brought me in strapped me in place.  The aneasthesiologist then put an oxygen mask on me and told me to take 10 deep breaths, he handed the mask over to the other worker and just before he started putting the anaesthetic in me, Dr. Aarts came in and introduced me to everyone...basically just told me who I was.  The anesthesiologist then told me I will be asleep in 30 seconds.  I don't think it took that long even though I tried fighting it for the fun of it.  I started feeling the tingling in my arms first and then as the room started to spin I said one last prayer in my head before going under.  My initial surgery was scheduled for 12:15pm, but I think I went in around 12:45pm.

Next thing I remember was waking up in recovery.  Everything was so blurry and spinning.  I had 2 recovery nurses on either side of me talking.  I looked at the clock and tried to figure out what time it was and it was around 5:30 or 6pm i think.  After a few minutes, I asked for my boyfriend.  They said he can come in, in a few minutes as they wanted to check me over first.  In between checking me over and getting my boyfriend, I fell back to sleep.  He came in and I immediately woke up when he said hi.  I don't rember alot of our conversation but I do remember asking if I was snoring because I didn't have my CPAP mask on for my sleep apnea.  They all said no. I was surprised and was thinking what was it about the surgery that stopped my snoring.  I was able to go to my room at 7pm rather than 8pm bacause my vitals were good so I got the ok.  I also apologized to the recovery nurse for something but I can't remember.  I do remember her saying to me, don't worry, I was the perfect patient.  I am sure they get weird comments or remarks all the time.

Once in my room, I got all situated and felt I had to go to the bathroom.  I can't remember if I went but I do remember almost walking into the wall from the anaesthetic..lol.  The nurse had to help me.  The rest of the night was a blur, I just could not stay awake.  I remember my boyfriend told me the surgeon came out to see him at around 4pm, but she said she was done around 3:30pm.  She told him the surgery went as planned and was successful.  That made me happy.  My boyfriend left around 8:30pm.

Overnight hospital stays really suck.  All night you hear beeps and buzzers going off and nurses coming in to check your vitals.

My first full day in the hospital was me still trying to stay awake.  For breakfast they brought me an apple juice and diet strawberry jello which I found to be too sweet.  I used the medicine cups they gave me to dilute my apple juice.  I had to take  15 ml every 15 minutes of my diluted apple juice.  For lunch, they brought me apple juice, chicken broth and strawberry jello again and for supper the same except beef broth rather than chicken broth.  My boyfriend stayed with me until about 8:30pm.  They gave me some percocet for pain and I was out like a light shortly after.

one thing that I could not stand was this medicine they gave me twice a day called Pantoloc.  It is for stomach acid and just a heads up if you haven't had your surgery yet...its disgusting.  They will also give you a blood thinner shot twice a day, usually in the stomach.

After my second night, I got the good news that I was able to go home.  I was so happy to go.

I only had a few issues that bothered me.  Not once did they offer to let me shower or bath.  I also asked the day after surgery if my wounds would be cleaned up and changed because all it had was the same tape put on by the surgeon and dry blood from the surgery.  The one nurse said they will do that before I leave but they didn't.  I also had a numbe left hand and fingers the whole time after surgery (well the numbness slowly went away but by the time I left, it was only my fingertips that were numb).  I still never got an answer why, just that they would check.  I just figured that it was the way my arm was situated during surgery.

Overall, I didn't have any major issues.  Right now I am just learning how to fit everything in such as my vitamins, meals and water.  I am finding that hard but I think I may just make a big chart with what is needed and a time schedule.

I would also like to thank everyone for their support.  I think it is a major part of recovery.

I can't believe that June 6th is almost here.  I have been on the Optifast shakes for 13 days now.  Tomorrow is my last day of the shakes.  Surprisingly I quickly got used to them and started enjoying them.  The first 3 days were the worst as other people have told me.  My first weekend on the shakes was really hard too because we were out of town and our usual routine when being out of town is to eat out.  I had made myself a routine and that was to drink the shakes as close to 8am, 12noon, 4pm and 8pm as I could.  In between, I would have water, crystal light, that new Mio water refresher, jello and once I had a cup of homemade chicken broth.

On to how my emotions have been. Since starting the optifast, there has not been one night where I have had a full solid sleep.  Every night included a trip to the bathroom due to all the liquids.  Getting back to sleep has been a problem.  I have Sleep Apnea so once I fall asleep I have to stay asleep.  Once awake, my mind doesn't like to shut off which makes it hard to fall back to sleep.  In the last few days as my surgery date has gotten closer, my anxiety has risen.  When I wake up, I need some of my medication to get me back to sleep because all I can think about is the surgery.  All day is the same, which has litterally turned me into a nervous wreck.  I am at a stage of being scared.  This isn't some minor surgery.

I think the thing that scares me the most is afterwards.  I don't ever want to get back to this size again, but it scares me that the surgery won't work or my emotions will get the better of me.  I have a good support network, I have been reading books and searching the internet to find as much information as possible.  I know that if I fall into the same eating pattern, I will fail at this.  I know I need to follow the surgeon's instructions to a tee or else I will fail.  I have heard too many stories and I don't want to be a victim to that.  I guess it doesn't help that I battle depression and all this working up of nervousness and jitters has sent me right into a depression.  I admittingly cried it out today and after a nap, I do feel better.

On a better note before I end this, I am very proud of myself for being able to complete the 2 week optifast diet with absolutely no cheating.  I am 10.2 pounds lighter since starting Optifast.  I believe that if I can do this, I can handle what happens after the surgery.  I guess its all about positivity.

The next blog will probably be after surgery and when I am back home.

I started my Optifast today and so far I am doing good.  I had my first shake this morning at 8:15am.  I drank a bottle of water between 8:30 and 10am.  I then drank  a bottle (500ml) of crystal light drink.  At around 12:30pm, I had my lunch drink, a chocolate one.  My breakfast one was a vanilla.  It was a bit strong on the vanilla side.  Next one will have a bit more water added to it.  Hopefully it will help with the taste.  I still have 2 more shakes to go today.

 what an awesome book and I am only on chapter 2 (I managed to skim through it before I actually started reading it).  The book explains in detail all the stages after surgery, explains how to prepare your kitchen, how to shop for foods and what type of foods to buy.  It also has about 150 recipes aimed at foods most of us can tolerate.  The recipes were written by chef dave who has also had gastric bypass surgery so he has been through everything we are going through.  His recipes are specifically geared to us.  There is so much more in this book as well. I am currently reading it cover to cover so I am prepared for what to expect following my surgery in 2 and a half weeks.  I bought it at Coles. Actually they had to order it in but it only took 2 days to come in.  The book was also overseen by an MD and bariatric surgeon so you know its the real thing.  I almost forgot, it even has sample menus for each stage to guide us along.

I really recommend this book for both pre and post surgery patients.