ghouliegal
This is the same song and dance I am sure everyone knows......
I have been fat all my life practically. I think I started to gain my weight when I was about 12. Its never really been a big issue with me. I am a very happy person and never let it bother me that I was overweight. I knew I was overweight, but I just didnt give it much thought because of all the love I have in my life. I have done every diet known to man though. Even though I wasnt unhappy with myself, I still tried to lose it. Especially when I met my husband. My husband and I were married in 2001 and I think my weight was around 250 when I got married. Since then I had packed on the pounds. My highest weight was about 340. SCARY HUH? My sister Leslie has had the RNY. She has had quite a journey and I was there with her every step of the way. I know all about it, I just never gave it much thought that it could help me too. So here we go. Wish me luck and pray to God for me.
8/ 23/ 06 I have just started the process through Kaiser. I have my referrals out for the Psych evaluation and the Nutritionist consult. Not sure how the process goes after these two appts. My sister had the RNY almost 4 years ago, but did not go through Kaiser for it. She looks great! I have a great support team, so hopefully things will go smoothly.
08/30/06 I feel like I should do something to help facilitate the process. (You can tell I dont like to wait? LOL) Anyways, I emailed my PCP to ask if I can start up with any blood work, sleep apnea testing, and classes that I may have to take....just to keep the ball rolling really. I got his out of office reply that he wont be back until tomorrow, so hopefully I can hear from him in the next 48 hours. (or so the email tells me). I am also waiting for someone to call me to set up my psych appt. I got my evaluation letter in the mail and filled it out and sent it back the same day (8/23/06) So any day now would be good people!!! LOL LOL!
8/31/06 I got a call today from the doctor for my psychiatric evaluation! Its next friday Sept. 8th. Im sooo excited! Finally its kinda feeling like its going somewhere. Lets hope that everything goes well. Im kinda nervous about it. I have never ever done anything with a psychiatrist, and it makes me fear that I am going to say all the wrong things. Even though I know I wont be. Lets cross our fingers!!!!
08/31/06 Ha! I hang up the phone with the Psychologist office and the dietician calls me! My appt with them is on Sept 13th. Holy Moly! Can this really be happening?
09/08/06 So I just got back from my Psych Evaluation. That was so hard for me. Just spilling the beans to a stranger about how I feel about myself, why I want the surgery, How do I think it will help change my life. I did really well until that question. "How do I think it will help change my life". I cried when I told her that I wanted to be able to wake up and feel rested, get up off the bed and not feel sore, make love to my husband without feeling like a fat lump that just lays there, being able to fit into clothes the right way..... All in all.....she thinks I am a great canidate for the surgery and she will be sending her paperwork to my pcp today. Now we just need to wait for my dietician appt on the 13th!!!
09/13/06 So I went and met with the nutritionist today. She was very informative. We discussed a lot about the size the stomach would be, how much I would be eating, what I would want to be eating and stuff. We talked about vitamins, water intake, different sources of protien. It was a great appt. So she said she is sending her info to my pcp. I emailed him to let him know that I have completed both appts so he can send off the information to the bariatric surgeon for approval. Im sooo scared. Not scared for the surgery, but scared of being denied. I am desperatly trying not to psych myself out, but its hard not too. Please everyone say a prayer for me. It will be a few weeks until I know what the answer will be.
09/27/06 AAAAAAGGGG the waiting for approval is killling me! I know I need to be patient......but I am not a very patient person to begin with! LOL. Its been almost 2 weeks since my PCP sent his documentation over and I have been checking my mailbox regularly. I think I am going to wait until next week Friday and call to see whats up........if I can wait that long!
10/09/06 OK I have waited long enough...haha. Well I did email my PCP last night and he sent me an email this morning with the number to the bariatric clinic in SF to follow up. I called the clinic and left a message asking about my status. So hopefully I will hear something by tomorrow. Im sure there are classes I need to attend and I would like to get that started. I want to be a loser so bad. I can already feel what it will be like to jump in my car and go....not sit there....adjust my fat ass, adjust my clothes, try to get the door to close on the first try.......ok Im not that bad.....but I swear if I dont get this I will end up like that!!!! LOL LOL LOL!!!
11/16/06 Well a few things have happend since my last post. I did get a call the next day about my status on my referral and she told me that it takes 4-6 weeks before I knew anything and that they would send something in the mail for me, and to call back by the end of the month if I had not recieved anything in the mail. They have also sent my referral from SF Bariatrics to Richmond. So I waited until Thursday last week and called saying I hadnt recieved anything. The girl called me back about an hour later saying that she had not recieved my psych evaluation and had emailed my doctor a few weeks prior with no response from him. So I had to email my PCP to get him to send over the psych (which he had, but had sent it to SF Bariatrics instead of Richmond.) So he resent it over to Richmond. The girl called me back the next day saying that she had recieved it and it was with the surgeons now for review. She also told me that I would have to wait another two weeks before I heard anything. Then I get a call from her yesterday, she says that the Surgeons see that I have had a prior surgery (my ectopic) and they wanted all that information (because I had it when I wasnt with kaiser like 4 years ago). So I had to call my OBGYN today and get the op report faxed over to them...which was done today. WHEW! SOOOO now I will call her back tomorrow just to make sure she got it and then the waiting game continues........ Im so ready for the Holidays this year! I just feel so psyched about it. My husband and I are going to be going to Oregon to be with his family for Christmas, and I cant wait. I just have to thank my hubby for being so freaking wonderful too. He works so hard everyday for his family, and is a great provider, lover, and best friend. He is by my side 100% and he tells me all the time that he cant wait to see the "new" me, even though he loves the "old" me. How could I be so lucky?
11/25/06 - So I am still waiting.....ARG! They got the report, they said I would have something in the mail soon....but I cant stop thinking and telling myself that maybe these surgeons do not think I am a good enough canidate and they are going to deny me. I want to call again...but I have been calling a lot and with no answers. I was hoping to have some good news before the end of the Holiday season but it doesnt seem to look that way. Oh well....I hate waiting.....and I know this...but give me a break!!! I started this journey back in AUGUST!! Its NOVEMBER and thats almost over as well. I am getting tired of keeping on this happy face for everyone.
12/9/06 - Well I got my appt for Orientation!!! Its in Richmond on January 9th, and I have to be there at 7am! ew! But I am sooo excited. I dont think that if the surgeons thought I was a bad canidate I would have gotten this far. Im stoked! The class will last about 5 hours they said. I CANT WAIT!! wooohoo!! I also went to see my PCP yesterday...I have been feeling sooo run down..(not that I dont always) but latley its just been getting worse and worse. Im dizzy all the time, lightheaded, disoriented. So my PCP set me up for a sleep study, because he believes my sleep apnea is getting really bad. I read online that it could cause hypertension (which I have go figure!) and stroke, heart disease, irregular heartbeat (which I have too) and even can cause Heart Attacks. OMG. I dont want to die...especially in my sleep. I cant even imagine my baby growing up not knowing her mommy. Oh god. So I go in on the 20th of this month and get it squared away. I cant wait to feel rested again, get my brain back. I feel like I walk around in a fog all day. I know that after this surgery and after I lose my weight that my sleep apnea will dissappear, and who knows...it might even correct my hypertension. That would be awesome! I hate taking my medicine everyday.
12/21/06 - Well, My dizzyness is going away on its own. Im almost back to normal which feels really good. I had a pretty bad cold when I wrote my last post, which made me stuffy in my nose and ears, which in turn caused my dizzyness and lightheadedness......oh well. I still went to the sleep study class, which just basically taught you everything you need to know about snoring and OSA. Blah, they did not give me the equipment to take home to do the study, you actually have to make an appt to get it.....soo my appt for that is on Jan. 8th. Then I will have to be in Richmond at 7:30am the next morning for my orientation! Yippeeeeeeeee!!! IM ON MY WAY!
01/09/07 - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Well today I had my orientation in Richmond. Let me just start that I had the WORST time getting there. Lets just say I am EXTREMLEY directionally challenged at 6am!!!! Its an hour from my house in San Jose to Richmond, so I had to leave my house by at least 6am to be able to get there on time, find parking, and check in by 7:15am......so Im trucking along down the freeway.....see my connecting freeway....la tee dah....Im going.....10 miles......20 miles.......WOAH....East?? Im supposed to be going WEST!!! So I had to turn around, go backtrack that 20+ miles and then some. Then the freeways in Oakland all start merging into eachother....so they are like half this freeway and half that freeway....I had to exit , call my sister because I got lost......needless to say.....I didnt get to the hospital until 7:45am and find parking and literally RUN to the registration desk on the 3rd floor. So there I am 20 minutes late for the class....they almost didnt let me in! I was about to burst into tears, when the girl says that the surgeon that was talking to us was running late and that it was ok to go in, but otherwise.....they wouldnt have let me in. HOLY MOLY! Thank you god for watching over me! Phew! But the class was great and they gave us a lot of information to try to swallow in one day! But good thing they give you a big binder of information that will be my "bible". I have to lose some weight before the surgery....obviously. And I should hear something from them in the next couple of weeks so I can meet with my Surgeon. There is a lot of steps to take before surgery so if you are curious...just throw me an email at [email protected]. It would be too much to type here and I have already written a novel!! Sorry bout that! ha!
01/11/07 - So I decided to sign up for the National Body Challenge on Discovery Health! And for signing up I got a free 8 week membership to Ballys Total Fitness! SWEET! Its also pretty cool too because it gives you your fitness online for everyday, and there are all these excersises for you to do in the comfort of your own home. Totally cool too. Im going to start my fitness and get in shape and prove to myself and my Doctors that I am serious about this surgery and my goals. They give you meal plans and weigh ins and stuff too.
01/14/07 - I am having a fat day......wah....I am on the verge of being obsessive about my "after" photo. I can picture it in my head. I remember what I looked like in HS and I thought I was fat back then (well I was, but not as fat as I am now!) I would give anything to look as I did in High School. Im trying really hard to follow my diet. I KNOW that I have to follow it and lose 30 pounds, but its sooo HARD! I am eating better definatly, Its just that my tastebuds just want something else. Im looking at a bag of cheetos Vs. eating an apple. And my tastebuds want the cheetos! The problem is, when I pick up the bag I know I will eat the whole thing......because thats what "satisfies" me. I think I am a lot worse than I was thinking. I really need to stay on track. Its so hard though. My mind is craving....and I really need to get this under control before the surgery.
01/17/07 - So I had my first work out today at Bally's! Woah! man, I am a fat ARSE!! hahaha! It was sooo hard for me. I did Curves....man what a waste of money that was compared to this! This is going to be awesome. My personal trainer is a total doll. He has us motivated (me and my sister) He says hands down he can get us to lose 20 pounds at least in 6 weeks. HA! we will see. He wants us there 3-4 times a week. Im sure that can be doable....also they have a kids club there, so there is no excuse for me not to go. Because I can just drop my daughter off there to play while I work out. Im soooo tierd. And I know Im gonna feel it tomorrow!!
01/22/07 - What a difference a week can make!I've lost 3 pounds!! I have been to the Gym a total of three times so far....and Im going tonight for 1/2 hour of cardio and a 1 hour class of yoga. Im sooo excited. I cant at all be self concious there because everyone that goes there is from all walks of life. And the Staff is amazing. Funny, nice, helpful. I did Pilates last week....what a work out!!! I LOVED it! I can already feel my stamina picking up and even being a little stronger. Im so glad I signed up for the challenge. ON another note......I have not heard anything from Kaiser Richmond about when my consult will be with my Surgeon. Im going to call them today...I want to also go in for an "official" weigh in.
01/24/07 - Oh man, when your on it, YOU ARE ON IT....and when your not.....woah baby watch out. I am having PMS!!! I know this because for no reason I wanted to kick my hubbys butt all day yesterday. HA! Im still irriated today for no reason too....and because I am feeling poorly, Im not following my diet. Yesterday I had a burger from Jack in the CRACK, then Chinese for dinner. THEN, I just ate some leftovers for lunch. WAAHHHHH......Im hopeless. I hate hate hate this time of the month!! ARG! But on a good note, I still do have a workout scheduled today at 4pm with my personal trainer. But, Im just feeling irritated, tierd, slow, foggy headed, and sore. Oh lord, help me get through this DAMN PMS.........AGAIN!
02/15/07 - YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!! I have my consult with the Surgeon on Thursday, Feb. 22nd at 2:30pm. YIPPPEEEEEEEE!!!!! It of course took me CALLING THEM to get it. Kaiser is sometimes a little slow people so make sure you keep on them! So I have been working out, I have got a little bummed at times and have skipped the gym mostly because I think its hormones, but I am doing pretty good because (on my home scale) I have lost 5 pounds! SWEET! We will see when they weigh me on Thursday to see if it is true. Im hitting the gym tonight baby!!!!
02/23/07 - Well its official.....IM APPROVED!!!! Tee hee hee!!! Im so happy I could just do CARTWHEELS! HA! Like thats gonna happen.....maybe after I have dropped a few pounds. My total weight loss (and I know its not alot for 6 weeks) I lost 7 pounds. So he wants me to lose another 24 pounds and then they will schedule my surgery. I have an Educational class that he also wants me to attend on April 11th, so thats in 6 weeks....So I am determined to be VERY close to goal at that appt so we can get my surgery scheduled. So.......im estimating here.......if all goes as I plan it....I could have the surgery by June. Oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah! He was kinda dissappointed that I havent been sticking to my 1200 calorie diet like I am supposed to be. ITS SO HARD! But no excuses anymore! Tonight I am going out DANCING TO CELEBRATE. YIIIIPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
03/21/07 - Well Im down 15 pounds with another 15 to go before they schedule my surgery. Its sooo hard to lose this darn weight. I have been a little bad and not sticking to the 1200 calorie diet my surgeon put me on, but I am going to the gym and really paying attention to what Im shoving into my "pie hole". I think I am doing pretty darn good. So....I am just about out of the "three bill club" and very excited about that. I havent been under 300 pounds in about 4 years? Wow that is an accomplishment! My birthday is in 7 days and I plan on being down at least another 2-3 pounds by then which will put me under 300. I put a pair of capri pants on today that I was unable to get into last summer...and they zipped up NO PROBLEM!!! I wore them all day and have been so comfortable. So I know that I am not just losing pounds, but inches as well.
04/26/07 - You figure I would have lost the 15 pounds by now right? Well you thought wrong. :-( I have only lost the 15 pounds thus far, and Im totally depressed. I cant seem to keep on track and I dont know why. I need more support to stay on my diet and get my ass to the gym. Im going today with my sister, and she says she is going to get my butt back into gear. I have another weigh in on May 9th and I want to be at goal by then so I can get my surgery date. Does anyone have any tricks they want to share with me? I need some way to help trick my brain into not letting my damn hand pick up the WRONG FOOD all the time! Well, its back on track for me!!
05/29/07 - Oh heavens. Its been awhile!! This is the battle of my life right now. Its always the same thing. I get extremley motivated....then bomb. Just like sticking to any other diet I have tried over the years, this one is no different. Its hard for me to do this. That is why I want this surgery. I want the tool to help me stay on track even when my mind doesnt want to. I havent weighed myself in WEEKS because I am afraid of what its going to say. So I will stay away for now until I can get back on track. I have also had a major set back too. I will be going for surgery in the next few days to repair a very large abdominal hernia. (I have had it for 4 years) and I have no idea what kind of impact this is going to have on me for the WLS. I will need to consult with my other surgeon to find out. This is just terrible.
06/09/07 - Ok well!! I am back on track. I have lost another 6 pounds!! yippee! I weighed myself today and from my last post I was at 300 and today weighed myself at 294.5!! I am officially out of the "Three Bill Club"!!! And its a first time in the last 4 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so damn excited! This is great, I only have 9 pounds to goal, and I will be on my way for the surgery. I have sorta been following a Weight Watchers diet with a bunch of family members and have been trying to be good about counting points and such. It really helps to write down everything that you eat. No matter even if its ONE STINKIN CHEETO!! hahaha! It really helps, because then you can look at it at the end of the day and know how good you are doing. So you can give kudos to yourself.
****************************************************************************************************
****************************************************************************************************
I FELL OFF THE WAGON! IT HURT! BUT I AM BACK ON AGAIN!!!! WOOOOOT! LOL LOL!!
****************************************************************************************************
****************************************************************************************************
04/24/2008 - Im ashamed of myself. I cant believe its almost been a year since I fell off. Im sorry, Im sorry. :-( I had some issues, and decided it was best to sit back and think, and weigh my options. Im terrified of dying, Im terrified of complications, Im terrified of malabsorption! Doesnt that sound funny? I know most of you are past that stage. But the feelings overwhelmed me, and I had to listen to what my soul was telling me to do. And that was to sloooowww down. But here I am, I have made the final decision. I went back to my PCP and said "lets start this thing over, but this time I want the Lap-Band instead". So we have everything already set up for me. I HAVE TO START OVER FROM SCRATCH! So I see my nutritionist next week, and my Orientation is on June 1st. in Fremont. This location is SOOO much better for me, its only like 15 minutes away from my house. So here we go!
So Im weighing in my FAT ARSE at 307......yeah yeah I know......I got under 300....but the Holidays MAN! They killed me! :-)
Oh and here is my Myspace link too! http://www.myspace.com/ghouliegal
4/30/08 - So I went yesterday and had my appointment with my Nutritionist and she informed me that they have changed the protocol for the surgery. She said that I do NOT need to have a psych eval or a nutrition consult before they send over my paperwork to the Bariatric clinic in Fremont, and she looked and said...well you are already pre-approved anyways because you have your orientation. I said that I knew that the appt was already set, and she said thats all I needed. That if they feel that I need any sort of counseling they will do it within the program. So thats pretty cool. She also told me to call the Kaiser Santa Theresa and see about starting the Optifast program. She said to do it to help me lose my 10% before the surgery. What a good idea! Im mad I didnt think about it!! LOL LOL!!!
Anyhoo...Fremont Bariatrics sent over a packet I have to fill out. Mostly Medical history, and then a 3 day Food/Drink diary. So once Im done filling these out, I bring them to my orientation and turn them in.
05/05/08 - HAPPY "DRINKO-DE-MAYO"!!! LOL LOL!! I havent lost a pound yet....hm...probably because I am not paying that much attention yet. I have this new found love for Fondue.....I cant stay away....bread and cheese....oh and wine! I could LIVE off that stuff! But I do need to start getting on track for my orientation on June 1st. Today is not that day though....LOL!! I will be having a family party with ribs, coleslaw, fondue, artichoke dip....CORONA....AAAK! hahahahha!! No wonder Im a tub! But tomorrow for real. Im going to start the 3 day food and drink diary and I think that will help me with the start that I need. really....I wouldnt lie to you!! I heard somewhere that the bariatrics team will start my weight loss goal before surgery from my last weigh in.....im assuming that would have been with my PCP a few weeks ago?? Anyways, I have such a GOOD feeling about it this time around! No joke. I feel so much more confident and sooo much more at ease. Im glad I listened to my heart, mind, spirit.
05/12/08 - Phew....I just got back from my first Yoga class today! That was HARD! LOL! I am soooo out of shape again since last year going to the gym. I was DRIPPING sweat just from doing these simple stretches! But like I said...like I promised! I am getting back on track. Wednesday night is aqua-aerobics and Monday nights are Yoga. My girlfriend Marina is doing this with me too, so I have a buddy to keep me in check. They have opened the pool here where I live and I will be swimming there too with my daughter this summer.
I met a friend here on OH...Faye! HI FAYE! and I am glad to know that she and I will be at our Orientation together in Fremont on June 1st! Hopefully we will even have our surgeries together too! That would be so cool.
05/28/08 - Oh wow! Guess what! I fit into a smaller pant size!! Im now a 24 instead of a 26!! HOly moly! I dont think I have lost any weight, but maybe just inches? I went to Ross and just for shits and giggles I tried on a pair of bermuda shorts and a pair of jean capris in a 24....the shorts fit good, except they gave me a bad case of the Camel Toe....SICK! But the capris fit great!! So I wore them last weekend, and then today (after being washed and dried too) I put them on, and bam! no problemo! I am so proud of myself!!!
Orientation is right around the corner too!! SUNDAY SUNDAY!!!!!
06/01/08 - Im feeling a little deflated..... 
. I had my orientation today with Kaiser Fremont, and the surgeon that was talking to us gave us all sorts of things to think about. He told us the failure rate for the Lap Band, and that people who have a BMI of 50 or greater this shouldnt even be used. I dont know what to do now. I just really dont know....... my husband supports me either way of course....but the RNY scares me. But he says that if I want to get the results im looking for, then to have the RNY. So I have a lot to think about and discuss with my family.
Im going to start my diet tomorrow for my 1500 calories a day too. This should be interesting!! hahahaa. But when I weighed in today I was down 3.5 pounds! yippeee! Better than nothing!!
06/5/08 - Well I have to say...I am doing pretty well on my diet.....I did have pizza for dinner last night...but who cares! I can cheat a little and not beat myself up for it. I weighed in today at 303 pounds...yippeee for me!! That means I have lost 4 pounds since I restarted the program. I think thats a pretty good thing for me! I am still doing the aqua-aerobics twice a week, and the yoga once a week. Im going today to my BFF house to swim for the day and hang out. so this will be good too. I am FORCING myself to eat breakfast. I have NEVER been a breakfast eater...and this is hard for me! But now my breakfast has been consisting of 1 piece of toast, with a few sprays of "I cant believe its not butter", 1/2 C. Egg Substitute, 1/2 nonfat vanilla yogurt, and 1/2 of a banana. Then I also have my coffee too....cant go on with out that!!! LOL!
I have discussed it with my hubby, and I told him that I have decided to go back to the original plan of having the RNY. He is still very supportive, but worried. I have also told my family, and explained to them the risks. They are still very supportive too! I have a great circle! So, Its my GOAL to have my surgery before Christmas. That is why I am working so hard at losing this weight before my consult in a few weeks.
06/17/08 - Oops! Its been awhile! I have been up and down for the last couple weeks. I am desperatly sticking to my diet....with minor slips along the way...(who doesnt right?) I have been terrified to step onto the scale because I know I have gained...at least thats the way I feel. I know "that time of the month" is only a few days away, so Im crazy and bloated. But I finally convinced myself to step on the scale this morning and BAM! I was 301.4!!!!! OMG! IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF!!!! I have been attending Aqua-aerobics almost 3 times a week. Its so much fun. I also met some wonderful ladies here on OH and we chat back and forth on email....what a difference. These women are slowly becoming my lifeline...and are there to keep ME on track....as well as I am here to keep them on track! So, I will feel a lot better when I get my call for my surgeon consult and be able to show them that I have been working really hard at getting off my 10%. I want to have this surgery before Christmas! THAT IS MY GOAL!! And the way Im looking at it.....its not gonna be that hard to do! Im staying positive~
06/19/08 - OH. MY. GOD! I just got a call for my surgeon consult!! YIIIPPPEEEEEEEEEE!!!! It was a little exasperating though! They said if I could make it there TODAY in an hour to do it. But I couldn't!! WAAAAAHHHHHHH 
My daughter has testing today for school and she comes first. So then they offered me July 11th, but I will be out of town that weekend!! So I ended up with July 16th with Dr. Dutta. But EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON! So I am looking at it positively and this means I have MORE TIME to lose more weight and to show them how dedicated to the program that I am...and have been!!! SO July 16th at 3pm. The appt lasts for like 3-4 hours they said. They said bring my booklet and any list of medications...blah blah. I wonder why its 3-4 hours long???? I dunno. But I am excited. VERY EXCITED!!! This is another step towards my GOAL!
06/26/08 - Oh man...I have had a few very Looooong days. I have been helping my aunt out watching her grandkids and driving them around to various activities. Today I am getting my house cleaned up and laundry done to get packing to go down to the cabin this weekend. Its gonna be great. I have been slipping on my diet. I blame "aunt flo" for that one. Hormones....hate them! LOL!! But while I was at my aunts house today I was playing with her Wii. TOOO MUCH FUN! She has the Wii Fit...and I was downhill skiing, hoola hooping, and perfecting my balance on another game. Whew! What a work out too. I HAVE TO HAVE ONE!! Too bad they are nearly impossible too find...and that they cost like hundreds!!! yikes. But I weighed in today and I am the same. I havent lost...havent gained....so at least theres that! But I just realized after looking at my bank statements thoroughly today that I STILL have my membership to Ballys! GOO FIGURE! So Im looking at which ones closest to me now...(have moved since last year, me and the hubby bought our first home!) So I can get back over there and start using the equipment if I want...Im paying for it! So why not!? Aahhh,....Im so tired......
6/29/08 - Well we didnt end up going to the cabin this weekend...:-( We didnt realize how really close we were going to be to the Indian fires that are burning in Monterey County. Where the cabin is, they had already evacuated homes only 5 miles from there! I sure hope the cabin survives...this is really scary! On another note...I had the most BIZZARE dream last night. I drempt that I had just had my RNY and basically jumped off the table and met my mom in the waiting room and went home. I remember looking at my surgery site on my tummy and seeing blood and the strips of tape holding the holes closed. I remember feeling GREAT! No pain, I went shopping with my mom to get all my clear liquids. I even remember my older sister being there and I was giving her a "High Five" and telling her how happy I was to finally be on the losing side. It was such a great feeling. SUCH A GREAT FEELING!! hahahaha! I cant wait to have that feeling! I have my appt in 2 1/2 weeks. Im determined to lose at least another 6-7 pounds before that...so lets see....3 pounds a week?? I dont know how realistic that goal is....but we will see how I do!!
7/08/08 - Ohhh what a weekend. I ate too much and drank too much. But I think because I have been still watching it I am doing pretty good. I hate my home scale. It keeps wanting to weigh me at 305!! So I got my sisters scale, and it weighs me at 291.5!!! So Im having a hard time thinking about which one to believe. Her scale is a nice digital one, mine is a lame dial one. so I get to my uncles today and weigh myself on his REALLY nice digital and it weighs me at 298. ARG!! Its soooo frusterating!! Which one do you believe????? I think I want to go to kaiser just to weigh on their scale too see what it says. Anyone else feel my frustration? Why are all the scales different????? Should they not be all the same? (******screaming*****)
07/13/08 - So I have decided to ditch my old scale...I hate it...hahaha, Im sticking with my sisters digital scale, because I honesly believe its more reliable. She tells me that it was always pretty accurate, and only 3 pounds lighter than the kaiser scales. So that is that. So since I have been using it, and also doing VERY VERY good on my diet...I have seen it fluctuate down to 287! Im blinking at it...trying over and over again!! hahahahaa. But it does just that. One day 287 the next day 291. I think it has a lot to do with what Im eating though, anything too salty. Like sodas and alchohol....yipes!!! I remember when I was with Kaiser Richmond, the surgeon over there had given me a goal weight of 285. I cant believe how close I am!! My appt is on Wednesday to meet with the surgeon! WOO HOO!!!!
07/16/08 - So my appt with the surgeon went pretty good today. I KNEW MY OLD SCALE SUCKED!!! Kaisers scales weighed me in today at 293!! My sisters digital scale weighed me at 290 this morning. So it is only 3 pounds off!! I freaking knew it!! hahahahahaaha!! Makes me soooo happy you dont even know. So the surgeon wants me to lose another 13 pounds and get down to 280. But the total loss since the beginning......drum roll please..........17 pounds!! whhhooopppeeeeeeeeee!! So he says once I reach 5 pounds from goal, call in to schedule the appt for my Psych eval. He also wants me to have my annual and a breast exam, thyroid panel, and a ultrasound on my gallbladder with in the next few weeks. ONce I have finished these appts and I have lost to my goal weight I call in and schedule my surgery. So my goal to have my surgery before Christmas.....I think Im definatly going to make it!!!!
07/31/08 - Well....Im doing it! I dont know how Im doing it, but its happening! LOL. These last two weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. I have skipped aqua-aerobics all last week and this week just because I am so emotional. (mostly due to my period). I have been sticking to my preop diet but snacking a little more than usual...this again...due to my period. But now that the bloating is gone, the snacking is gone too. I got on my yahoo group with a fabulous bunch of ladies, and they recommended I start an Atkins like diet. Cut out all carbs. I have done a little research on it and have been implementing them in my daily routine and diet too. I stopped buying Rice, Potatoes, noodles. Im sticking to just the meat and veggies. And so after stepping on the scale all last week for it to just MOCK ME at 290, I stepped on it this morning and was 286.5.....aahh......now thats more like it! Now I just need to keep it up...so according to my scale being 3 pounds lighter than the doctors scale, I still need to drop 10 pounds before surgery. 5 more so they can schedule my psych. My scale needs to read 277 so the doctors scale will read me at 280. which is my GOAL WEIGHT. So, once I see my scale drop to 282 I can call in for the appt with the pysch. Then lose that extra 5 pounds and then Im off to my surgery!!
08/01/08 - I emailed my surgeon letting him know that I had completed having my gallbladder ultrasound. He emailed me back this morning and let me know that it came out normal, but I have a fatty liver. ew! But he said this also is normal in overweight people. Thats why they have you lose weight before the surgery so you can shrink your liver and try to get rid of some of the fatty tissue around it. So it doesnt crack and bleed during surgery when they move it out of the way to get to your stomach. My appt for my PAP/breast exam is on 08/18 and I am going in to Kaiser tomorrow for my fasting thyroid check. Lets get those done! I weighed this morning at 284.5! hhaahhaahah, I know that cant be right since I weighed 2 pounds heavier yesterday. So I am going to stick with the 286.5 for now. But its always nice to dream right? Dream that I am sooooo close. So close to know what it feels like being comfortable, being able to fit into things the right way. And ImW not just talking clothes, Im talking furniture, cars, camp chairs, rides at Great america! Im also talking about acceptance from strangers. Not being judged because of my size, that when I sit down at a restaurant that people aren't staring at me like "theres Jack Sprat and his Wife".
08/04/08 - Well I think that this atkins thing really works....that..and a really bad case of strep throat!! I have been on liquids for the past few days. My throat resembles raw hamburger meat. Its so swollen that I can barely swallow. Hopefully the antibiotics will kick in and I can get some relief! But I cant complain too much...I stepped on the scale this morning and its weighing me at 280!! So once I can talk again, I am going to call Kaiser and get my appt for my Psych exam. yipee!!
08/05/08 - So I called Kaiser Fremont and left a message telling them everything they want to know when you "check in". And also left them a messaging asking them to call me back with an appt for my psych exam. Didnt hear back from them today. But today I am feeling a little stronger...a little better. My lymph nodes in my neck are still so swollen that I can hardly turn my head. They are like walnuts! My face looks square!! its weird!! my throat still hurts, but now I am down to just taking the Motrin for the pain and thats all I need.
08/20/08 - I got a call today from Kaiser saying that I havent had my Pysch eval yet. I told her that I hadn't because I was not at the proper wieght yet. she said that was fine, that they wanted to get me scheduled and moved along. She said because I was not that far away from goal anyways. (little does she know I have been on a little binge lately) I have gained 3 pounds. Wah......But my appt is on Tuesday the 26th and I will be hopefully less that 3 pounds when I get there. I also went in and did my thyroid check and all my other blood work. Everything came out just fine. I also went and had my PAP and Breast exam. And I wont know the results of these for another couple weeks. Things kinda stalled for me. but I need to keep on track. I only have like a pesky 7 pounds to goal!!! How hard can that be>??? Seriously!!
08/26/08 - ohh today was my daughters first day of Kindergarten! She was so proud! She looked so good and just beaming from ear to ear! I also had my Pysch eval today. I think it went pretty well, she agreed with everything I said. and I believe she thinks Im gonna great canidate for the surgery. So now everything is pretty much done. I am trying hard to not stuff the wrong things into my face. I am going to attempt aqua-aerobics again tonight. So thats it for me!
08/29/08 - Well, it took a lot of hard work and determination! But I feel that finally I am back in the mindset to stay on track. I have been drinking water like a freaking camel! I add a little lemon into it too, that keeps me from retaining in this hot weather! Sunday I had stepped on the scale in the morning after a night of binging and drinking with friends....(and also from such a long downward spiral for the past month) and my home scale weighed me at 288!! I cried and cried. How the heck did I do that to myself!? I know how! But I stepped on the scale this morning and was at 282.....aaahhh......thats more like it!! so 5 more pounds!
09/09/08 - Well wouldnt ya know it. I weighed in this morning at 276.5!! YEah!! hoooray for me!!!! I called Kaiser and left them a message on the "weight check line" and told them to schedule my surgery already!! hahaha. I want to have my surgery with FAYE!! Lets get this over with already. I want to be a loser. I want to get to ONEDERLAND....I want to do so many things! Im READY NOW!!
09/17/08 - AARG! I called Kaiser today to find out WTF is going on, and why hasnt anyone called me with a date yet. And Nancy the Cooridinator is off on vacation until the 23rd and you cant leave a voice mail for her. So I called the main line and they said that Nancy is the one to schedule the surgery dates and she will just leave a message for me on her desk for when she gets back...... Thats not fair. I weighed in a week ago and now I have to wait even longer, because nobody else can cover for this gal when she isnt there? What a let down. She even said "she is pretty booked". Yeah I bet. I know everyone deserves a vacation, dont get me wrong. But......I weighed in on the 11th!! Its the 17th!! She could have called me earlier......hahahha........im a pain in the ass I know. Dont even say it.
10/09/08 - Sorry! Its been awhile...but I still havent heard anything. This Nancy gal over at Kaiser Fremont (the bariatrics coordinator) Either she is over worked or not doing her job...I have tried calling her several times and get either she is out of the office, out of town, not accepting voicemails....blah blah....I am so frusterated! I have been for the past few weeks having the WORST time with my hernia. Its so painful I cant stand it. I went to the doc yesterday and saw a surgeon who said that its all fat thats poking through and getting caught on something, then that tissue starts to die and thats what I am feeling...is the pain from the tissue dying. She said to talk to my surgeon and ask him what he wants to do, because I cant wait any longer to get that fixed. So I emailed Dr. Dutta and told him whats going on, and he said he talked to Nancy, and put me at the top of the list and also on the Cancellation list. So this means, I will hopefully have my surgery VERY SOON!
1025/08 - I dont think its really sunk in yet...I HAVE A DATE!! Whooppeeeee!!! I cant believe it happened so fast either. I had finally got a hold of Nancy, and through our conversation it went from me not being able to be scheduled for surgery until after the first of the year, to her asking me if I would want to do it next Thursday, October 30th. Well heck ya! I told her thank you at least a million times. Im now getting everything ready, my house is clean, I have my protien samples, I have also ordered more protien samples through Unjury.com. I got the unflavored and the chicken broth. Im getting my family prepared for me being "out of commission" for at least 2 weeks or more. Im figuring out who will be able to get lizzy ready for school and get her there also. Eric told me last night how nervous he is about the whole thing. He is scared and worried, but very excited at the same time. SO AM I! But he also was asking me and telling me about all the things I do for the family, and what it is that he will need to do and how to do it. What a crack up. He even was a little sad when he said that I wouldnt be cooking any meals for awhile until I am recovered. I have a lot of laundry to get on top of too and I want to clean my bathroom up really good too before Thursday. I have some shopping to do for some liquids and also get myself a baby spoon and a 2oz shot glass that I can eat out of. The Unjury will help me get my protien in and I am very excited about that. You can take the unflavored one and make sugar free jello, and in each 1/2 cup there is 10 grams of protien, that is cool! I hope it tastes good! Protien is the key to healing faster, and also to keep up your strength in your recovery. Im hoping that this plan of action will keep me in good spirits. I am getting a journal so I can track how much protien and water I will be getting in a day. Well, thats it for me today...
