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vWell

weL it is

I have lost 70lbs so far.  I am now wearing size 14.  At 180lbs I am 10lbs away from my high school graduation weight.  Wow.  Now the difference is that in high school I could also bench 135lbs and leg press 350lbs but today I can probably bench 45lbs.  I have 40lbs to goal.  I am noticing a little bit more energy.  One would think that 70lbs lost would make a huge difference in energy levels - but no, not with me.  My appetite is all over the board these days.  Tonight I could not stop eating from all the stress and yesterday I could not eat.  It's a crazy roller coaster and I cannot wait to get off.  Kids and I should be moved out by the 20th.  It can't get here soon enough.  

On Easter Sunday I threw up because I ate a deviled egg.  This is the second time - I have determined I can no longer eat deviled eggs.  I don't think they agree with my stomach.  I don't even know how or why because eggs are such a soft food.  I love deviled eggs too.  I dont want to quit eating them but I also don't like to throw up so for now we have to part ways. 

And then last week I ate two sugar free Russel Stover chocolates and dumped!  How the heck do I dump on a sugar free food?  I was miserable for an hour.  But the good side there is no way I want any more of that candy.  Now if I could dump on some potato chips I will be all set!

I weighed in at 185lb today. 

I got a new job!  I really think my weight was holding me back and I think it finally got under control.  I am 45lbs away from my goal.  It finally seems doable.  When I had 110lbs to lose the feat was daunting and I couldn't muster the motivation to try for more then a week.  The goal was so so far away that I never thought I could do it.  I finally feel like I can do it.  I am almost there.  I am still averaging 3lbs a week weight loss and that is a huge success.  I feel like I am a slow loser but man I'll take it!  My new job comes with a big raise, better benefits, more holidays and vacation time.  I cannot wait.  And I know I am going to do great. 

The down side is I am leaving my husband.  I can finally afford to get my own place and afford rent, food, kids and everything else without his intervention.  This is a good thing - the kids are not even sad to be leaving.  I am looking forward to my own place but dreading packing and moving.  My new boost of confidence directly related to my weight loss and new job have made this possible.  This has been something that should have been done years ago. 

Just wanted a quick post so I know how long since my surgery and total weight loss.

I am starting to see my collar bones!  I LOVE it!  I have gotten a new job and am going to need new clothes but I am trying to sell my too big clothes - been doing a great job so far.  I made $70 yesterday and I will make another $45 tomorrow.  Should be enough to buy a few outfits.  I had nothing to wear to my interview but was glad they saw past my non-suit attire and that my qualifications fit the position.

Well kind of...I am still wearing them and they are considerably baggy on me and I tried on a size 16 outfit today and it fit - it's tight but I can get everything buttoned!  I was so excited!  But now that means I need new clothes again.  I just got a shipment in off Ebay so I am set for a while.  I weighed in at 193lbs this morning.  I have this crazy dilemma - interview tomorrow and do I wear a size 20 suit that is too big or a size 16 that is too tight.  And why don't I own a size 18?  Good question - didn't get one in time.  I think too tight is better then too loose.  I hate to actually spend a ton of money for a suit I might wear one time but for an interview I probably should have. 

Well it appears that there are animals living in my home.  We do have two cats but today and the past two weeks or so it seems there are many, many animals because the amount of hair all over the home must mean an animal has slipped in and been living in my home.  It cannot be the hair from my head! 

I am weighing in at 195lbs and it has been 18 weeks since my surgery.  My size 18's are getting really loose on me.  I have ordered a bunch of clothes off EBay that are size 16.  I can't wait to get them and try them on.  At least see how much more weight I need to lose to fit into them. 

I am not having any problems with any particular foods.  This is great news.  As long as I chew everything up really well then it all goes down fine. 

I have nothing new to report and just wanted to check in so I canlook back and see what was going on each week of my journey.  I sometimes see a skinnier version of me in the mirror and sometimes I don't see it at all.  I wonder at what point it will really sink in - yeah I had surgery and lost 100lbs...is that the magic number?  Is there a magic size?  10, 12 or 8?  I don't know that answer and will just keep trucking along until I see the results every day.

I finally reached onderland!  Success!  I was weighing in at 200 for a week with no movement on the scale.  Then Saturday was my son's 11th birthday and low and behold I blew it in the eating department.  Crackers and spinach dip?  Yup!  Fritos and chili cheese dip?  Yup!  Veggies and dip?  Yup!  Sugar Free Ice Cream - yup a whole bowl.  I was worried that I would get sick and amazingly the ice cream gave me some bad gas that caused some pain but other than that I was fine.  So I weighed myself Sunday morning after falling off the wagon and the scale dropped to 198lbs!  I could not believe it!  Total of 52lbs lost.  Than I weighed myself this morning to find the scale down some more - 196lbs!  I don't know how that happened but I take it and I am back on track.  I have lost 54lbs in 17 weeks! 

Woo Hoo.  I am averaging over 3lbs weight loss a week.  I could never have done this without surgery.  I have 60lbs more to hit goal.  I went away for the weekend for my son's hockey tournament and my eating was not terrific but it wasn't horrible either.  Overall I think I did great with getting protein in and no sugar.  I ate some ice rink popcorn and that wasn't a great choice but I am not going to beat myself up over it.  My reality is that I didn't lose any weight this week but I also didn't gain any weight.  I was eating about 1200 calories a day because of snacking so I am back home and back on track.  In a past diet I would have gained weight and gone straight off my diet instead of finding a new resolve to push ahead and continue working on good habits.  I didn't stuff myself at any point over the weekend so I wasn't getting sick and considering it was a rushed and busy weekend that is a gold star for me.  Next time it will be a ribbon and the next a trophy...who knows where this could lead.  A curio cabinet for all my awards?  : )

 I want a new bathing suit this summer.  My goal is a size 14.  That means I have to drop 2 sizes by say June...we'll see if that happens.

I have finally noticed large amounts of hair falling out.  Not too worried yet because my doctor did recommend Maxi Hair vitamins to help slow hair loss but I have not purchased any yet.  I figure I have some time before the hair loss becomes noticeable and thenI am just hoping that by the time my hair is thin I will be out of that phase and my hair will grow back in.

On Tuesday, I ate a banana and then threw it up.  Um - What?  I don't even know how I managed to inhale a banana in such a way as it got stuck and ultimately came back up.  It is ridiculous just thinking about it.  I must not be a quick learner.

I went on an interview on Monday and my suit was too big.  I didn't think I looked too terrible but I really could have used a smaller size.  I need to get to a resale shop and look for a new one so I don't look like a fool at my next interview. 

Side note - my period has become a constant unwelcome visitor.  I am on the pill but it does not stop the cycle.  I am calling my OB/Gyn next week to try the depo shot because I have had enough of this pesky friend.