Kimberlee M.

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Yikes, has it really been this many years since I've done a blog post? Apparently so. The support group still meets on the 3rd of the month at the Alameda Hospital. Attend when you can. Add the meetings to your calendar so you don't book yourself elsewhere.

I hope that many of you will be able to join us on Saturday, March 16, because our group will hit one heck of a milestone: our 12th anniversary.  I am amazed I gotta confess.  My surgery was 12 years ago on March 6.  At the time when I was pre-op, my doctor wanted me to find a support group but back then the only one in the Bay Area that I could attend met on Tuesdays at 6 p.m. in Walnut Creek (I was in Alameda so getting there from work on time in rush hour traffic would have been close to impossible).

Taking her advice to heart, I somehow got it in my head "well, I'll just start my own!"  Knowing that hospitals provide free space for health-related groups, I contacted my uncle who was Chief of Surgery at San Leandro Hospital for help.  It must have been fate because the person he put me in touch with was their community relations person who had a gastric bypass a year earlier!  She was a great resource for me and helped get our group off the ground.

We met at San Leandro once a month on Saturday until this past December 2011 when they surprisingly tossed all of their support groups from the hospital due to staff training.  So much for community relations, but I digress. 

Thankfully, Alameda Hospital had a weekend meeting space and so in January 2012 we began meeting there with great success and attendance.

I am very grateful to both hospitals for providing the free meeting space to us and to all the hundreds of people that have attended our meetings, whether it was for just one meeting for several, you helped keep us going.

Congratulations members,

Kimberlee

Ok, so hitting a 6th wedding anniversary probably isn't a big deal, but something struck me that morning that I thought I'd share with you: I weigh what I weighed on my wedding day.

Although I'm heavier than I would like to be (gee, who doesn't say that), a light bulb went off overhead that while I'm not gaining, I'm maintaining and that's worth celebrating.  To weigh basically the same for 6 years should be something to celebrate.  While I did have a child (gained 48 there) and it took two years to get that pregnancy weight off, being able to wear the same clothing size is a moment to celebrate and an example of progress.  I didn't realize that something like that could be important or could be worth noting.  Now that I think about it, it sure feels like quite the accomplishment.

I bring this up because, as serial dieters, we spend out life looking at the scale hoping for it to go down without every pausing to enjoy when it stays the same.  I don't know about you but I need to start grasping that maintenance is something worth cheering about to.

Happy Maintenance,

Kimberlee

At some point in November, our e-mail listserv, Topica.com, decided to simply stop sending our messages to you.  Our November and December meetings weren't canceled, you just didn't get the reminder notice I mailed.  Argh. 

We are, therefore, switching to MailChimp.com.  You should received an announcement if you were in our Topic-based list.  E-mail me if you didn't get it.  Thank you for your patience while we searched for a new system to communicate with you.

January 19th is the date of our next meeting. 

See you there,

Kimberlee

East Bay Bariatric Support Group

Hard to believe but our group has been meeting every month for a decade now.  Not that many groups can say the same, sadly.  Equally hard to believe that this month also marked the 10th anniversary of my own surgery (on March 6). 

Congrats to us on continuing to attend our meetings all these years.  Our group exists because of you.

Thanks

Naturally, on the drive home from today's support group meeting I thought more about Helena's question to me of "how have I changed" since my surgery and, while my answer opened up a big can of worms for us, it wasn't the true answer to her question so here goes.  Some of the ways I've changed pre-op vs. post-op:

~ I no longer hate myself.
~ I no longer see myself as a fat slob, a loser, unloveable, or undeserving of happiness.
~ I volunteer because I want to support that organization or cause and not so they will "like the fat girl."
~ When I was dating post-op, I was more selective of who I dated, whereas, pre-op if any Schmo gave me the time of day I would have skeptically  accepted because "who else would want me," but pre-op dating was very rare.
~ I look in the mirror now and see a beautiful person.  Pre-op, I avoided mirrors or would look at the image in one in disgust.
~ I am satisfied with one or two pieces of pizza. Pre-op, I would "need" to eat a whole large one.
~ Pre-op, I would not leave the grocery store without buying at least one container (often 4) of Ben & Jerry's.  Post-op, I honestly can't tell you the last time I bought one or any ice cream.  Years and years, probably 9 or since the moment I became a Post-op person.
I'm not "as much" of an emotional eater as I was pre-op because my tummy won't let me so I actually have to deal with the issues more now instead of reaching for food to comfort, numb and avoid the issue.
~ I can sit in a booth in a restaurant...and often ask to sit in one now!
~ I can attend events that have food at them and not be concerned that the Food Police is keeping a tally of what I eat.  I can relax and actually enjoy myself and the company there, whereas, pre-op I probably would have avoided such a function.
~ I have confidence and pride in myself and I definitely didn't have either one pre-op. 
~ I often smile when I put clothes on because the number is much smaller than what it used to be.  Whereas, pre-op I felt shame and sadness at having to put on clothes that were a 30-32/4XL.
~ I really changed in that I opened up myself to the belief that someone could truly love me and want to marry me.  Pre-op, I would have pushed my husband away if he were trying to date me as I wouldn't have trusted his intentions because "why would he be interested in the fat girl?"
~ I now want to be with my family, whereas, pre-op I often avoided them so I could avoid the stares or the natural conversation topic typical of my grandmother of "here's the latest diet..." or "you should lose 50 pounds..." I just avoided putting myself in that situation.
~ If I went to a bakery, pre-op I would order a cake and have them write like "Happy Birthday Betty" on it so they wouldn't think it was all for me and now if I actually went to a bakery (not sure the last time I even walked into one), I would order just a piece of something to enjoy shame-free like one cookie or one cupcake. 
~ I do not go to fast food restaurants or drink soda now and I definitely did pre-op.  Drive-thru was a my friend because I would think that if I sat in the car and ordered, the person at the window couldn't really see how fat I was.   But duh, that person is looking down at me and can probably see my entire body! 

It was nice to reflect on these changes on the drive home.  I hope they will help you and help you see changes that you make on your journey.  Jotting this down really reminded me that I'm in a much better and happier place than I was a decade ago thanks to weight loss surgery. 

Have a good month,

Kimberlee

Hard to believe that my 9th anniversary did arrive and I completely forgot!  Yet, I just wrote you mere days beforehand about it.  It trips me out to think that it's so easy to forget such an important anniversary.  I knew almost to the second it felt when my first anniversary was approaching and each year it has lessened.  Surprising.  I find myself now more stuck on the concept that a year from now will be the 10th anniversary.  A full decade of this tool and revised lifestyle.  I know all that sounds corny to admit but you are the folks that would understand.  It's hard to believe it's possible to miss the anniversary of such a life-changing event while at a the same it's equally suprising that it's been so long since it happened.  I'm forgetting that former self due to time and I'm not sure that's a good thing or not.  hmmmm

Greetings East Bay Bariatric,

Hard to believe that (1) in mere days I will be celebrating my 9th anniversary as a post-op WLS person (March 6) and (2) this month celebrates the 9th anniversary of the founding of East Bay Bariatric.  Has it really almost been a decade?

Many times over the years I have forgotten it was my WLS anniversary.  Who knew that was possible. 

If you can, please try super hard to attend our March 20 meeting to celebrate together on our group surviving 9 years.  So many groups have come and gone during that time, but we're still here...and here for each other.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Let me know what topics you might like us to discuss at the meeting.  Bring your "Magic Moments" and maybe even something you just want to toot your horn about, like trying a new form of physical fitness.

See you at the meeting,
Kimberlee

Had to blog and share with you and that - thanks to you - we are the largest group in California!!  Membership-wise, not weight-wise. =) 

We are also in the Top 10 for most members nationwide which is a tremendous accomplishment too because the groups that have more members than us are nationwide groups (i.e., Men's Group, addictions), not a local one like us.  Be proud of joining and what you have contributed to this group.

As you can see, I've been away for months now so thanks for dealing with my absence.  I hope to be a more active leader on this page.  Post some updates and light a fire on that discussion board.  It's your group too.

Hugs to you all,
Kimberlee