One year later

Nov 15, 2009

Wow, I can't believe it has been a year since surgery. It was one year ago on Friday that I was in California having surgery so this is a couple of days late but life has been busy lately and Friday I went to a military ball. I posted a current picture on my profile but my browser settings will not allow me to copy it into this post. So a quick run down of the changes that have happened in the past year.

11.13.08 Surgery weight 324 lbs 
11.13.09 Current weight 172 lbs currently trying to maintain but still losing.
11.13.08 Size 32 tops/size 28 pants
11.13.09 Size 14 tops/size 10 pants
11.13.08 Bra size 48F
11.13.09 Bra size 34G
11.13.08 Ring size 13
11.13.09 Ring size 9
11.13.08 Pre-diabetic, hard to control high blood pressure, deteriorating ankle, knee, and hip joints and chronic pain affecting my daily life.
11.13.09 Blood sugar steady and normal, blood pressure normal, no more pain in the ankle, knee, and hip joints on a daily basis, activity is easier and fun.

Those are just some of the changes there have been so many!
Now I want to say that for me the hardest part of this last year has been the mental and emotional part. The head hunger, the self sabotage, and the realization that there were definite issues that I needed to come to terms with in order to be successful. I understand that I used my weight as an excuse and barrier to keep people from getting close to me. Part of this past year has been spent working on my issues and learning new coping behaviors to replace eating. I have been extremely fortunate that I have had the support of my friends and family to help me through this. Then there is the change in how other people view you and treat you. Some people will be threatened by the change in you and may react negatively or may distance themselves from you. I have had to tell myself to let them go because it is about them not me. It is sad to lose friends or have co-workers who can't or won't be happy for you but I can't control their behavior only my own. People may find you more attractive and act upon it. This was hard for me, it made me very uncomfortable and still does. I am learning to be gracious, accept the compliments, and set boundaries. 
All in all it has been an eventful year and I still find it hard to believe how much things have changed in a year. I am not done and the changes will keep coming. I know I still have a long way to go and then there is the whole plastic surgery option to consider. Yes I have excess skin but I expected it and it's not as bad as I thought it would be.

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