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Wow. I got an email from OH and it reminded me that yesterday was my surgerversary. I can't believe it's been five whole years since my life was completely transformed. I'm amazed that time has flown by so fast. It seems like just yesterday I was being wheeled down that long cold hallway to the operating room. But here I stand, five years later; still slim and happier than ever. 

Okay, confession. You all know how absolutely obsessed I am with my weight and the overwhelming fear of being fat again. As I've posted before, I weigh every morning.  It's almost like religion for me.  Well, during the holidays my alter ego Fat Natalie must have taken control over me and I didn't weigh the whole two weeks I was off work.  Don't you know the night before I went back to work I stepped on the scale and almost cried.  I weighed 155lbs.  I have held steady between 145-150 for four years and now I'm five over my personal maximum! Freaking out is an understatement.   

I've half heartedly tried to take off these five pounds. It's not like the old days when you just don't eat carbs for two days and kazaam, 5lbs. gone.  No, it's going to take a little more than that. I spoke to my mom on the phone. She's 4 years post surgery and has 7 lbs to drop to get back to her ideal weight. She and I are going to do a week no carbs, no wine, no coffee. Sounds like torture to me.  But I can do it.  I know my regular diet of healthy foods, wine, and a small portion of chocolate at night before bed will maintain ideal weight. I just gotta shed these extra 3-5 lbs.  Who knew I would have to "diet" again. I shouldn't think of it as diet. I should think of it is being back on full program for a week.  Yeah, that sounds and feels better.

Well check out the new pictures I posted. They are of me and hubby after church one Sunday. I love the one with his head in my chest and I'm looking away laughing. It feels like it could be on a catalog page. Life is good. I'm blessed. My husband adores me, my kids are thriving, my career is soaring .... and I'm 5 years post op; healthy and NORMAL.

To God be the Glory ... always,

Natalie

I was in church a few weekends ago and was asked for the hundreth time what's the secret to your sustained weight loss. I guess it's a natural question since so many people have weight loss surgery, lose all the weight, and slowly but surely regain most or all of it. 

For those that know me, I vowed to never go back if every being blessed with this amazing tool. I'm proud to say that 3 and a half years after surgery, I'm still a slim 145-150 lbs. How I maintain my weight is an entire blog entry.  And I don't want to digress.

So back to the church story. As I drove home that afternoon, I thought to myself how there's so much to say about my journey, my philosophies on weight loss, and my testimony regarding the role my God plays in my success. Most times there's so much I want to share with people when they ask and it's too much for a brief 10 minute conversation.  At that moment, God put it on my heart to share my story in a more formal fashion.  I've always believed that God expects us to bless others with the blessing He bestows upon us.  So my blessing to others will be to share my story in the form of a book. 

So where to start .... Obesity Help.  I have years of journals I kept throughout this journey that captures all of the highs and lows.  So I logged on today to save those blogs to my hard drive for the skeleton of my book.  Well you can imagine the surprise when I saw that I haven't posted since 2009.  Amazing how life takes ahold of you when you are no longer burdened with the excess weight that slows you down.  Life flys by a million miles an hour and you don't want to miss a beat. Not to mention fantasy football, facebook, and hanging with the family is so much more fun. 

Obesity Help served its purpose when I needed an avenue to vent and find friends that were suffering and celebrating the same as I was.  But my dependency on it has faded over the years.

So here I am today.  I will continue to post and give updates on my progress. I do hope to still be an inspiration to those out there browsing the blogs looking for hope. 

Cya soon.
Natalie

Just felt like writing today.  So what's it feel like to be skinny, slim, small, etc.? It feels amazing. People always say, "you look great!"  Well the look IS awesome. But it doesn't compare to how I feel. 

How I feel when...

* I look in the mirror and see the new me
* I slip into size 8 jeans and a cute T-shirt
* I wear high heals all day long and my feet and ankles aren't screaming after the first hour
* My husband hugs me and I melt in his manly broad sholders and chest and feel so petite
* I'm hopping up five flights of stairs and am not even winded
* I cross my legs out of habit ... just like the lady I always wanted to be
* I see my small pretty panties and know they won't roll down under my big ole belly anymore
* I paint my toe nails and don't have to hold my breath and hold my leg to the side of my belly
* I walked the Breast Cancer walk and didn't feel pain in my back and legs
* I shop for amazing cute, sexy, fabulous clothes
* I speak to other obese women about my new lifestyle and they are inspired to take back their life with WLS
* I step on the scale and it reads just what it read yesterday, last week, and last month (between 145-150)
* I get out of the shower and wrap a towel all the way around me and have room to spare
* I wear my new Nike bathing suit and spent three days at the water park resort riding waterslides with my family
* I get full and satisfied after a few bites
* I create new delicious sugar free recipes for sweets like coffee cheesecake, sweet potatoe cake, and banana pudding with shortbread cookies
* Wear three layers of clothes because I'm freezing, but still look slim

I could go on and on, but you get the picture.  This new life is truely a blessing and I wouldn't change a thing about this journey. God has been so good to me in allowing this new vessel to house the Holy Spirit. I give Him all honor, glory, and praise. Thank you Lord.

Hello everyone.  I've been so bad about updating my blog.  I rarely have time to do more online than check email and update facebook.  I feel horrible about not updating because  I feel like I need to share my story and hopefully it will inspire others. 

I have been able to share my story live and in person though.  I'm glad to say I have a coworker who had surgery this morning and another in the final stages of her doctor appointments before sending to the insurance company.  I'm so glad my story and my journey has been an inspiration to others to take their health back.  I pray they feel as amazing as I do every single day!

I'll be so glad when summer gets here.  I'm always freezing. My last labs came up low in iron. I hate taking the iron because it clogs me up really bad.  Oh well, stool softeners will be my new best friend again.

Have you tried the new chocolate chew calcium citrate w/ Vitamin D from Bariatric Advantage?  They are yummy and had a buy three get one free special online.  It's a nice switch from the fruity powder chewables.

We just got back from spring break; two days in Columbus at COSI science museum, and three days at the Great Wolf Lodge Resort.  We rode waterslides all day long.  It's good to be in a small bathing suit and not feel self conscious about things hanging all over the place. 

The weight is steady.  I fluctuate between 145 and 150.  I weigh myself every morning. If I hit 150 I cut the carbs for a few days to get back in line.  I have promised myself I will never, ever let this weight creep back up on me again.  I manage it daily now.  Some people would say that's not healthy. But it works for me. It keeps me honest about what I eat and the choice I make. 

Cheesecake factory has a spenda cheesecake that I adore.  I ordered some the other night and specifically told the lady make sure they use the spenda whip cream.  I got home and dug into my decadent delight, only to fall into a cold sweat.  I started dumping.  I was so mad.  Thank goodness I didn't throw down on that cheesecake and only ate a little bit.  It really took the joy out of my treat.

I made a sugar free sweet potatoe cake with cream cheese icing the other day. Delightful.  I also make sugar free banana pudding with sugar free shortbread cookies on the bottom.  Delicious!

That's it for now.  Blessings. Natalie

Yes, today - one year ago, I was rolled into the operating room to begin my new life. And what a life it is! As I think back over the last year, I'm amazed at how fast it went.  I'm still in awe of how fast the weight came off.  Almost effortless.  Sure I had to follow the eating rules, but they seemed so easy when hunger didn't dominate my thoughts.  To be satisfied over mere ounces is truely amazing. Thank goodness I was a meat lover before surgery, so there are plenty of protein rich foods that I adore.

My life today is fuller, richer, more energetic than I could have imagined. Waking up is a joy in the morning. No sleep apnea, no back ache, no feet aching at the end of the day. Climbing stairs feels like excercise, not to be dreaded. Crossing my legs makes me feel like a lady. Being held by my husband makes me feel petite. Wearing beautiful clothes is a joy. Shopping for clothes is exciting (and depressing because there are way too many choices that my pocket book can't handle).

Yes, this choice I made is the best choice I've ever made - just for me.  I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

As I reflect, I never forget to give God the glory for all of this.  It's through his mercy and grace I was delivered from that operating room to a complication free recovery. It's his love that allowed me to have a second chance at carrying a temple worthy of his blessings. I can't thank him enough - and words are insufficient to express my gratitude. Glory be to God!

In His Name. Natalie

Where did December go?   I just realized I didn't post anything on my blog for the entire month.  That went by too quick.  Okay ... where shall I start.  December was awesome.  There were Christmas parties, my fabulous 40th birthday (more on that later), Christmas shopping on a budget, opening presents with the kids, traveling to Chicago the day after to escort my mommie onto the loosers bench, New Years Eve without my hubby, and my sweet welcome home.  Now I'm back on the grind at work.  But to God be the Glory, I have a job to go to!

Okay.... let's start with fabulous 40th birthday.  Last year I dreaded the thought of having to turn 40 at 280+ pounds.  But through the blessings of Christ and the skill of Dr. Kerlakian, I have escorted this milestone birthday in at 148lbs.  I feel amazing and am glad to start the second half of my life at a healthy weight.

Christmas was on a serious budget this year.  With hubby's mortgage brokerage job at a stall and him working as an hourly (Thank God for him having income), we played it super duper tight on presents.  I was pleased with what we did on the slim dollars we had to spend.

Then there is the awesome trip to Chicago to be with my Mom on her surgery date (Dec. 29th).  I was so excited to see her officially begin this journey. As of today she's lost 16 pounds a week after surgery and with two days of clear liquids.  I pray for her continued success.

The joy I felt with my mother's transition was countered with the sadness of spending New Years without my hubby.  It was the first in 15 years since we met that we were apart.  I felt a little off all day - and then he called.  Tears were streaming down my face.  I missed him terribly.  We vowed to never spend another New Years Eve apart.  I love that man!

While in Chicago I went roller skating again.  What a blast I had.  The kids had fun too.  I'm definately going again real soon.  I also plan on using these light weights on my arms, and doing some crunches and leg lifts.  I wanna tone up a bit for the summer.

A quick shot out to my Lord Jesus Christ.  He came through today in a mighty way with regards to our financial situation. To all of you out there who are felling the pressure of these tough economic times... remember God is a faithful God.  He won't let you down.  Keep the faith, keep praying, listen to his direction and he will deliver you from whatever the devil tries to throw you way.  Don't let the devil steal your joy.  Continue to praise, worship, and serve the Lord in good and bad times.  He'll shower you with bessings in appreciation.

Enough for now.  I promise to not wait so long for an update.
Be blessed.

Wow... Yesterday was Thanksgiving.  Talk about a different spin on the holiday. RnY has totally changed this holiday for me ... FOREVER.  It used to be about eating until I exploded.  Endulging in homemade delicious food.  Sure, I cooked this year.  Spent the better part of two days in the kitchen with my mom-in-law fixing up the usual fare:  Turkey, Ham, Sweet Potatos, Collards, Green Beans, Fried Corn, Mac & Cheese, Stuffing, Gravy, Yeast Rolls, Sweet Potato Pie, Pumpkin Cake w/ Cream Cheese, and a Sugar Free Sweet Potato Cheesecake.  Let me tell you .... the food tasted amazing. 

But I can't help to admit, I was a little envious of my family who got to take two and three trips to refill their plates.  After I ate my 4 ounces of ham, turkey, stuffing and gravy ... I was done.  You know how small 4 ounces looks when everyone's plate around you is piled high? They ate until they wanted to pass out.  I think deep down inside, I wanted to do the same... but my pass out wouldn't have felt nearly as good as theirs.  I'd have been in the bed rolling around praying for the food to go down or to throw up. Wouldn't have been pretty.  So I ate my 4 ounces, and went back for another 4 ounces a few hours later.  Hey, a girl's gotta get her protein in!

I wanted so badly to enjoy those sweet potatos, but mom-in-law made them with real sugar.  She never even asked if I wanted her to make them with the Splenda Brown Sugar Blend I had in the cabinet.  So no sweet potatos for me.  Next time, I'll have to slide some aside and doctor them up bariatric style!

But honestly, this post is about Thanksgiving and how all the food hype just didn't have its same glow for me.  The culmination of the day is supposed to be the meal ... and I didn't get that much pleasure out of it.  Sure the food tasted good, but it was almost like another meal to me.  I could have been just as happy with a few shrimps sauteed in butter and garlic.  Food really is about nutrition for me, it's not the pleasure giver it used to be.

The real reason for the season is to give thanks.  And to Him I give all the thanks and the glory.  He continues to pour blessings on me and my family.  I'm thankful for that family... especially the amazing man I'm married to.  He's my rock and the love of my life.  I thank God for him daily. Words can't express how deep my love for him goes.  I know it sounds corney, but he is my soul mate. That man knows me inside and out. And he treats me like a queen... all day every day.  I am blessed to have him made especially for me.  THANK YOU LORD!

Most of my adult life I've been a plus sized girl.  During those years I took great pride in how I looked.  I always tried to dress well and appropriate for my size.  I shopped at the beloved Lane Bryant, The Avenue, and plus size departments in high end department stores.  I always felt that just because I was big didn't mean I had to be frumpy.  Well, I haven't shopped at those amazing stores in a long while.  During my rapid weight loss I frequented the consignment stores.  Always hunting for the nice stuff.  When I hit size 16 I started shopping at "regular" stores.  What a joy! 

As I grew out of sizes, I would store them in our guest room closet and in bags in the basement.  I have always had the idea that I would have a big afternoon tea and invite some of my plus size sisters from the church over to have their pick of my many fabulous suits, church dresses, sun dresses, jeans, and tops.  Well, the church decided to do a fundraiser for the women's ministry selling gently used clothes.  So, hubby and I packed up all of my clothes on Friday night and took them over to the church.  I was shocked to see that they filled the back of my Tahoe (with the third row out) to the ceiling!  I knew I had a lot, but never realized the true volume since I kept a summer and winter closet! 

The next day a few of my sista girls were sorting through the donations (mine and others) hanging them up and getting ready for the sale after service on Sunday.  These ladies began pre-shopping some of the clothes (which were mostly mine). 

I can't begin to describe how much joy I felt in my heart seeing these ladies get excited about all of the goodies I brought.  As they squealed in delight, I felt so much joy knowing they were being blessed by things that made me so happy.  I loved those clothes.  Many of them had special memories.  One dress I wore when I dated my husband.  One dress he bought me and I could never wear, but the the joy of him thinking of me made me incredibly happy. One suit I wore at a going away party when I was in Atlanta.  I still have the picture of me crying while wearing it (tears of sadness to leave my friends).  I could go on and on about the memories that flooded my mind as those women tried on the clothes.  I kept thinking of the memories they'll create wearing them.

It was bittersweet saying goodbye to the clothes I loved so dearly.  However, now I'm creating new memories in all my new outfits.  I love the way I look in these new size 12's.  I'm not afraid to let my curves show.  I'm giddy over my tiny waist.  Goodbye Lane Bryant and The Avenue forever.  The world is full of "regular" stores for me to indulge!

Thank you Lord.

Okay, never in my life have I been faced with a problem like this.  I hit goal a few weeks ago and was walking on air.  Then over the last two weeks I keep getting comments from people asking if I'm done loosing weight.  Other comments about they are worried about me loosing too much.  My husband has even asked that do what I can to not loose anymore.  I can't tell you the number of people that are saying this is enough. 

I'm not sure if they are just having a hard time getting used to the small me.  I asked my sister ... who is brutally honest and she said I look amazing right now, and loosing more weight is unnecessary.  She thinks people are envisioning me smaller and that I wouldn't look good much smaller than I am now.  She thinks that's what is getting people all excited.

Well, now I'm worried.  I got on the scale this morning and I'm 158.  I lost two more pounds.  I'm trying my best to slam calories.  I'm even eating carbohydrates more.  If I loose another pound, I think I'm going to have to start drinking protein shakes again.  Yuck!
 

So, this is a first in my lifetime.  Actually trying to NOT loose weight. Who'd of thunk it?  Certainly not me.  So I'm asking your prayers to echo my prayers for sustaining my loss at the point it is today. 

Still blessed, just a little confused. 

It feels amazing to have dropped a whole person in weight.  I don't know if all slim people feel like this ... but I feel light on my feet.  It's like the energy flows through me.  I want to keep moving now.  Before surgery, I hated the thought of moving.  Now it feels like I'm supposed to be moving my body.  After I eat I have an overwhelming desire to walk around.  Weird, but amazing.  I AM BLESSED!