Over 120 days out....

Jul 30, 2009

So, it's been a while since I've updated on here. I'm down to 250 from 319. I feel great. However, I constantly worry that I'm going to be a failure with this surgery. I keep telling myself the 70 lbs. I've lost is all I'm gonna get out of this. I wouldn't say I eat poorly, but I don't seem to be doing what others on here do. I eat normal meals, just smaller portions. I stay away from lots of carbs. If I eat a sandwich, its on 1 piece of bread rather than 2. I no longer eat white bread, but whole wheat. I'm in love with Splenda and use it with everything from coffee to strawberries. I never thought I would ever give us raw sugar. I do, from time to time, get a hankering for something sweet and I take a few bites. Buttercream icing couldn't be any better. I don't eat the cake part, but I do have licks of the icing. I can't choke down those protein shakes any longer. I just can't do it. I focus on eating all my proteins first when I do eat. I don't cook anything with pasta or rice and if I do then I pick through it. Wait, I take that back, I did make Manicotti one night, and OMG, it was so good. That's protein, right? See, I feel like a failure. It seems like I should be doing more. I was laid off in April, and am finishing up in college, so during the days I spend most of my time on the computer. I still don't have the urge to exercise. I do feel better though. My back doesn't hurt when I stand up for a while. I'm in a size 20 and a 1x/XXL shirt. I've been trying to sell some of my clothes, because money is scarce these days. I hope all of this is making sense, because it's all been on my mind and I'm writing it as it comes to my head. I hope all of you are doing well. Thanks for listening. Until next time.....

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