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AUGUST 2, 3008; My story begins when I was a child I was the chubby one. When I was in School I was the chunky one, when I went to high school I grew into my weight and looked pretty good. Then I got married and had a baby...2 months later my mother died suddenly, I was devastated. The night of her funeral I was admitted to the hospital with a gall bladder attack, 4 weeks later I had to have it removed and was very sick for a while. All of this seems like a night mare to me still. I was a young mother, with no mom, and a husband who worked and was away from home 12 hrs a day. I was so sad and depressed, I gained about 35 lbs that year, and was shortly weighing 205 lbs. It has been down hill with my weight ever since.
I am the typical yo yo dieter, I have did every diet you can imagine and then some, I exercised to exhaustion,, lose weight, only to regain it again with some more on top of that.
after my second child I weighed 185, I was always sick during my pregnancies but shortly gained and went back to the low 200s, then I had my third and last child, I was very ill with her, and after she was born I weighed 165lbs. I kept it off for quiet a while but gained it back slowly until back up to the 200s again.
When she started school I decided it was time for me to go back and gt my College degree. I became a Registered Nurse, during that time I gained another 20lbs from all the sitting and studying. now my normal weight was around 225. Not good I was always trying to lose weight..
Went through some rough years with my teen agers as we all did, worked as a nurse. I went to the Dr and asked for Rudex and lost 95lbs. exercised every day I felt so fantastic...I finally felt like I had made it. Then I developed adult onset asthma..and my life really changed
Prednisone therapy over 4 years had put all my weight back on and then some, after a serious hospitalization and lots of prednisone in my body I weighed a whooping 255 when released from the hospital, I had gained 30 lbs in the hospital. I was so sick, I could bearly walk, or talk and breath at the same time and was one oxygen at home for a long time, I found a new Dr. and he brought me out of it, finally after a year but the weight stayed with me. He explained to me that my body had be trashed with the therapies given me and it would take a long time to recover from that. I slowly got better, my husband and I took a trip to Florida for some sunshine and warmth, I never felt better. I was asthma free in FLorida. We thought this is a miracle. So we made the decision to come to Florida. I had to leave my children and grandchildren that I adored. It was the most devastating thing we have ever done but we hoped for some time for me with the asthma.
And so we have been here 9 years now. I was asthma free for the first 3 years, then it started coming back again as I knew it would. Now there was newer medications out and I always seemed to stay on the cutting edge with new medications to try.
In 2004 we were in Hurricane Charlie and that seemed to set off my asthma once again. I also developed stress related fibromyalgia, and terrible fatigue.. I am happy to say the fibromyalgia has went away. however the asthma got worse.
In 2006 I became very ill again with asthma, I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and needed oxygen again at night especially, I am still on most the medications I was put on at that time, slowly my weight has went up now to 275-278 And I cant seem to get it off. I did lose 30lbs in 2007 but have since gained it back and now at 278 again. THen I developed GERD, and have had arthritis for years from working as a nurse the usual stuff everyone gets but never the less painful. Needless to say I was unable to exercise and had to stop working as well. Then I started having hypoglycemia. I have developed prediabetes.
Well thats when I knew I had to stop the INSANITY and do somthing drastic. dieting was not working and somthing had to be done. needless to say through most of this I was very depressed and suffered anxiety. I found myself shutting out the world in my life more and more. I didnt want to eat in public, or go out. I was ashamed of my body and the way I looked. I was so sad, and becoming hopeless, one morning as I struggled out of bed and taking off my CPAP I saw myself in the mirror, I was losing the will to get well, I was giving up...I saw a very sad person in a very awful situation. Luckily I had enough sense to call my Dr and made a appt. I told him I thought it was time to consider bariatric surgery and he was delighted I had come to that decision, and so my journey began to the new me.
I found I had hope again. Started with the Research of finding the facility I wanted to go to, then to the first meeting to learn about the surgery..paper work, insurance checked out good. Dr appts for necessity, no problem there, I already had a good relationship with my pulmonologist and my PCP, and Cardiologist which really helped. I still had to get the clearances done,,and got through that process, Phycological exam went very well. Nutrition classes were good, and completed in May-June, the check off list got shorter and shorter. All the while trying to lose weight and nothing was happening there..Just a few lbs.
Finally the call came I had a surgery date Aug.13th, this will be my "NEW START" day..
I have had ups and downs, butterfly stomach, went through all the what ifs, .being a nurse is not always the best thing when you are the pt. But I am learning to let go and allow others to care for me...not easy tho I got to tell you.
My last preop appt with my Surgeon is Aug 4 and my Nutritionist is Aug5, then the last trip to the Hospital for last minute hospital admission stuff..so this week is full of fun...
My bag is almost packed for the hospital, robe, slippers,2 night gowns, old panties, tooth brush, brush comb, and the usual soap, tooth paste, ect ect. I bought some new PJS to have to wear when I get home also on clearance rack at Wal Mart, Nice lounge around pjs..then I hope to see me out grow very fast.!
I have met a few very nice people on here to connect with and that has been so helpful. I have a great support group I will go to so now all I have to do is get my head on straight and follow the rules of the road I am about to travel down...I cant look to far ahead, and just take it one day at a time. That is my own rule, ONE DAY AT A TIME. The other one is always be prepared. which I have been doing now for some time. My supplies are in the cabinet, with dishes and small forks and spoons. measuring cups and SF jello, popsicles, clear chicken and beef broth, Crystal Light, decaf tea, decaf coffee, bottled water, and New Whey Protein Liquid, Protein Powder, so I am ready and I am going to post my official preop weight when I see my Nutritionist for their official number.
I want to also mention that my husband is my angel, he is so supportive and good to me. I am truely blessed, we dont have family here so its just me and him mostly. I thank God for him everyday. More later.
