azurepenguin

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So, I've done my best to stay active on the boards this week.  Need to get back into that habit.  Staying active on OH is just another way to reinforce staying on track with good habits.

Monday morning weigh in has me down a pound from last Monday.  YAY!!!  I'm going to update my ticker...its going to show I've gone up...I haven't updated it since I was at my low weight last summer after surgery.  I put 20 pounds back on from that time but all my clothes are still fitting.  But....seeing that ticker move again will be awesome!

Today...lots to do.  Sewing and baking...plus roasting a turkey breast for dinners this week.  Tonights recipe is one of my favorites for the summer...turkey waldorf salad.  I need to get the turkey done early so it has time to cook, cool and then set in the fridge and let the flavors mingle.

Time to get busy busy! 

I'm back on OH...  I don't think I'll have the time to commit to scouring and reading the message boards but I need to get on here and get back to tracking my food, liquid and protein intake.

 I stepped on the scale 2 weeks ago for the first time in months...probably the first of the year.  Happily, I've maintained around 180 pounds.  And I've been fairly naughty and not really paying attention to any of my food or protein these past months.  But...my maintaining the 'easy' way has made me really want to get these last 20 pounds off..I was there a year ago but that was also when I wasn't eating due to my twisted up insides.  So its back to the 'old fashioned way": eating right and exercise!

Life in general is very good!  I quit work in January to head back to school.  I'm getting a Culinary Arts Associates degree.  My first term back to school is done and I'm happily carrying a 4.0.  Clint and the rest of my family is very proud of me...but most importantly...I'm proud of myself!

Lots of sewing happening.  I'm taking commission work now.  I'm on a big time creative jag.

Clint is amazed at how happy I am now that I'm not at my former job.  I feel like I'm back to my 'old self'.  And its been years and years since I felt like this.

The past few days have been quite a roller coaster.

On the upsides
--I'm back to work which means I'm healing and getting back to 'normal'.
--I'm in the kitchen again and that always makes me happy.
--I've also enjoyed putting together lunches in our groovy bento boxes.  
--I'm about to start eventing again with my medieval group (after a long layoff over summer) and the first event I'll be attending is one of my very favorites all year long.
--I've decided to go back to school and get my Associates degree in Culinary Arts.  Then at least an Associates in Business Management...then on to the goal of putting together a business plan and opening my own breakfast/lunch counter or a food truck.  It feels VERY good to have decided on a road map for the future.  Even if it doesn't work, at least I feel passionate about something to want to TRY it.  And I feel like if I don't give this a shot I will regret it down the road.

On the downsides
--I fear that having actual 'food' for lunch is resulting in me not focusing on enough fluids.  I got locked into a very comfortable schedule before my hernia repair.  2 protein shakes a day plus at least 1 shaker ball of water was almost 80oz of water a day.  With me having 'real' food for lunches and snacks I'm SO not getting enough water and this past week I've felt pretty 'yuck'
--The calories from the food, while I'm still within okay range, has caused the scale to inch up almost 8 pounds over the last week.  Between my lack of physical activity and the dehydration, no bueno.  So I may have to give up every day on my bento...make it an every other day...maybe Tuesdays and Thursdays have 'food' for lunch and the other 3 days a week do shakes.  Once I'm back to walking I'll reintroduce lunch bentos every day and see what happens.
--I'm back to work....I am still desperately unhappy at work but until we get the benefits coverage taken care of, I have to stay at my job.  We can probably do without my paycheck (its teeny...I'm GROSSLY underpaid) but I can not be without health benefits.
--Clint was laid off on Thursday afternoon.  This puts a serious crimp in the school/benefits coverage issue.  His company did cover domestic partners (we found out recently) so at open enrollment he was going to add me on...then that meant no more work and back to school.  Now he's on the hunt for a new job.  He's an exceptionally talented programmer and a very hard worker...any company would be LUCKY to have him.  He's already been submitted for 3 great opportunities.  But its jut the stress of looking for work and then...crossing finger...wherever he gets hired would still give the option of covering me as an unmarried partner.

Life really is okay...nothing on the bad we can't handle...and we'll do it together.  I'm lucky!

I think I'm going to hire the guy who announces all the soccer matches for the World Cup to walk around for a week in front of me shouting that.

Today...my dear friends...I stepped on the scale and saw 160 pounds.  I have reached the goal I set for myself when I started my weight loss journey in February 2009.

The only sadness at ALL is today Clint happens to be out of town, so he wasn't here to hear my squeal, and to hold me tight and tell me how proud he is of me.  But I know he will do that part tonight when he gets home.

The past few weeks have been so emotionally tiring for me, between my back issues rolling right into the abdominal issues and then the surgery becoming much more severe than originally planned.  Its almost as if my goal was here waiting for me as my reward of getting through all of this.  I know I still have a way to go in my recovery.  But my heart is renewed again.  Its happy.  Not because of the actual number...but because I reached a goal I set for myself.  My feeling of accomplishment is almost overwhelming.

I'm not going to maintain here.  I'm going to wait until my body picks where it wants to be.  I still have several pounds before I am at a 'normal' BMI so we'll see.  But everything from here on out is bonus!

Today is going to be a good day....oh...the hell with that.  Today is going to be an EXCELLENT day. 

 I started to blog here yesterday.  I was really kind of down and not feeling great.

I think my back issues have had me really depressed.  The last bad flare up I had was January 2009 and it was basically what prompted me to seriously look at WLS and start my journey.  I had another 'mild' one in July but that seemed to come and go without going to my chiropractor.  Since I live in Arlington and my WL surgeon was in Plano (almost 40 miles from where I live), getting another almost 30 miles to Keller (in the other direction from Plano) to see my chiropractor just was not a priority.  And then I had surgery.  The weight started coming off...falling off really.  Since then I've been pain free.  Oh and don't think I hadn't been telling everyone, "Oh...yeah.  I'm so glad I had this surgery.  Not a single back problem since I've started losing weight."

Then this past week started.  I still don't know what I did.  I don't know how I twisted or overworked the area but all of a sudden, I couldn't stand up straight.  I couldn't even sit down without pain.

So here I am, 104 pounds lighter than I was before surgery and having the same issues.  I was convinced my weight was what was causing the issue.  I was so sure I would never again have to worry about dealing with this again.  The fact that it is apparently a deeper issue than my weight is something I'm struggling with.  I grew up on a farm with parents who let us get bumps and bruises, scrapes and cuts.  They didn't freak out.  They didn't whip out the anti-bacterial ointment and bandages with every injury.  I was a competitive gymnast, a dancer.  I have had so many injuries I can't count.  So the fact that I have something chronically 'wrong'...that I may have to deal with this pain off and on is REALLY bugging me.  I just don't like feeling like I'm weak.

There is so much I am thankful for.  I know I feel better than I have in years.  I'm not disappointed this didn't "fix" the problem, I'm just disappointed to find out that my weight wasn't the problem.  Better in the long run...I know.  And I absolutely know in a matter of weeks I'll be back to feeling wonderful.

I know...I know...just shut up...be happy.  I'm already feeling mentally better today than I was yesterday.

It will be a great day!

The past few days I've felt dreadful in the morning.  I'm usually a morning person, I pop right up when the alarm goes off.  I'm usually up before 6am even on weekends.

Ergo...because I've felt awful I've skipped my morning walks.  I've done okay on my food but after dipping to 102 lost, the scales have moved back up 2 pounds.  I know I shouldn't be freaked out....I've friggin lost 100 pounds in 8 months.  But I do not like this trend.  So tomorrow morning no matter how ickky I feel I need to get up and out the door.

Gotta get through work today too.  Have had two exhausting days in a row and today doesn't look much better.  I'm glad I have some roasted turkey in the fridge.  Tonight is cold turkey waldorf salad.  I'm going to make it with light mayo and plain greek yogurt instead of regular mayo and sour cream.  I think a salad with a little fruit and creaminess in it will be delicious and easy for dinner.

 Its a quiet Saturday morning.  Clint and I are spending the day with the kids and then having some family portraits done this afternoon/evening.  We all got new, summery white shirts to wear with jeans.  I think the photos will turn out great!

Things have been going well "pouch wise".  I've gotten a wee bit bored with food lately and my coffee obsession has kicked back in hard core.  I usually only have my one cup in the morning but I've found myself swinging by Sbux in the evenings to grab a cup here and there.  I know the caffeine is not the best for me but considering I have a feeling I'd find all kinds of 'snacky' foods to chipmunk away because I'm bored and I'm craving different tastes right now...I'll take the coffee.

I've started actually exercising this week.  I've been pretty sporadic with any kind of physical activity and while I can tell I'm still changing shape in a good way my scale has stalled out for 3 weeks.  I've got an older Weight Watchers dvd with about 5 different 30 minute work outs on it.  So I'm either doing one of those workouts in the morning or I'm walking.  I'll do 2.4 miles in the morning.  It takes about 30 minutes.  When I can get that distance down to 20 minutes and keep my heart rate at a good exercise pace, I'll increase the distance.  But I don't want to increase the time right now as I'm trying to walk before work.  As I have to leave for work at 6:30am, getting up at 5am and walking for half an hour is about the earliest I want to get up right now.  It's already bad enough I'm sleepy and headed to bed by 9 or 9:30 every night.

Life is good.

Met with my surgeon today for my 6 month check up.  I'm a little past 6 months because I realized due to travel I wouldn't have time to get my labs done so I rescheduled until today thinking I could go in on Saturday to get blood drawn.  Fate would have another idea however because Saturday we came to realize that all 4 tires on my car had to be replaced.  And even with a 'buy 3 get 1 free' promo at Firestone, because I have an odd sized tire it still ran basically $400.

ANYWAY...I didn't want to reschedule again so I went in anyway today with the promise I would get my labs done ASAP and come back in if there was anything amiss.

This is the first time I've seen my surgeon since basically a month after surgery.  I've seen other people post and they have been in several times between surgery and 6 months.  My surgeon tends to be a non micro manager which is one of the reasons I liked him so much.  I don't want to be in and out of the office constantly if nothing is wrong.  

I am officially 91 pounds down (I'm registering 95 down at home but of course I can weigh myself in the morning nekkid and before I've had anything to eat or drink for the day).  His goal weight for me at 1 year from surgery is 180....I'm at 187 right now. Needless to say he is very happy with my progress.   I was honest with him and told him the one aspect of the 'holy rules of WLS' I still struggle with is my vitamins.  I just plain forget...sometimes for several days at a time.  I've never been able to incorporate pill taking as part of my regular routine.  But I also told him I'm still on 2 protein shakes a day as its just easier to drink a shake for breakfast and lunch rather than packing food for work.  He asked if my energy level is good, if I've had problems with illness or headaches.  When I said I've had no problems with any of these, he said I'm probably getting a good deal of extra vitamins from my shakes and while I need to work on the supplements, I'm sounding okay.

He told me to get my labs done, send him the results, and as long as all looked well, I wouldn't have to come back in until October for my 1 year follow up.

Needless to say I am THRILLED.  Everyone in the office was astounded at my progress.  I guess I've done better than I thought.  The doctor who oversaw my 'physician supervised pre op diet' walked by me in the hall and I could see her look at me thinking I kind of looked vaguely familiar.  After sitting in the exam room for about 10 minutes she poked her head in.  She peeked at my chart because she said I looked familiar but couldn't figure out how she knew me.  When she realized who I was she said she had to poke her head in and gush over how great I look.  I was grinning from ear to ear!

I'm really proud of myself.  Ready to reward myself with a new piece of garb this weekend.  As soon as I get it done and have pictures I'll be sure to put them up here.

Love to all my friends.  Thank you so much for your comments and support.  I could NOT have done this without your help and this website.

 Take this for what its worth...grain of salt and all.

I work for a 'small' company.  We have pretty decent benefits for a company this small.  Anyway...over a year ago when I started the process of investigating if WLS would be covered, I decided to keep it to myself.  Lots of different reasons, but mostly because to be honest, I didn't trust my company to not tweak the insurance policy.

I finally cracked after 4 months of asking work off in the afternoon once a month for my monthly visits for the pre-approval diet, and told my immediate boss.  She is very trustworthy and I knew she would keep everything to herself.

The end of August, I get my approval letter.  Surgery was in October, 2009.  I'm just over 6 months out and down 91 pounds from my surgery date.

Today...I find out that we are having an insurance meeting tomorrow because we have to all resign up for our benefits.  Why?  Not because we're changing companies...but because they are changing plans within the company.  My boss (the one I told what was going on) called HR today to find out why on earth we were all having to do this again...to find out that they are changing to a plan with 2 new exclusions...and one is Bariatric Surgery.  

WOW!  I guess my paranoia was not completely unfounded.

I just wanted to say this to anyone who is going through the process.  Be careful.   I guarantee had I not gone through the process last year and probably raised flags, they would not be switching to a plan that didn't cover WLS.  The company probably never had to pay out on one before and because I've had such great (and visible) success I'm betting they are afraid they'd be paying out on a lot more.

Kudos to those of you who don't have to have this worry...but this was a BIG eye opener for me.  I was worried I was being too paranoid last year....I guess not.

I'm doing better than I was Wednesday.  Still haven't spoken to friend but oh well....

In stellar news my 3 or so weeks of non scale moving is done.  I'm down to 191 as of this morning.  HOORAY!  That means 91 pounds down since surgery date which is just a few days past 6 months ago.  I was doing a major happy dance this morning when I got off my scale.

This weekend we have hang time with the kids.  We haven't really seen the kids for almost a month...its amazing how when the kids are teenagers and start to have their own obligations time just slips away and next thing you know its been too long since you've spent time with the people you love.

Looking forward to a good weekend!  I have a massage tonight.... BLISS!  Then fun at the Boy Scout demo tomorrow teaching a group of 300 boys at a Camporee about Vikings.  Sunday...possibly a crayfish boil at a friends house.  If not...we'll cook burgers and dogs on the grill at home.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.