awsmechica

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Just over 2 months out and I am down to 255...today showed 253 *eek* I'm so close to 250 I can taste it!!! My pouch is still going strong with as the pouch of steel. I haven't had any problems, yet and am okay with that. My only thing that I am trying to do is slow down when I eat. I don't have any problems and I measure out my food so I don't overeat, but I can just eat fast. I kind of wish I would have that "you over did it" feeling so I would learn. One day at a time I guess. I took my 2 month pictures and saw a difference from my heaviest and now, so I figured I would post them on here. Pretty proud of myself, although I would like to finally say goodbye to those damn size 22 jeans that I can seem to STILL fit into. I am wearing 18s and 20s comfortably, but I would just like to say hasta la vista to those freakin 22s!!!!! Feeling blessed with my gift and noticing the energy spike and activity levels go up.

(Jk, the picture won't load. Check out  my album)

Wow, I can't believe it. Its already been a month!! I know people say it either drags or flies by and my first 4 weeks have FLOWN.My surgery went well. No complications so far. Just the ridiculous gas pains and some throbbing in my shoulders from the position they had them during the procedure. I stayed in the hospital for 1 night and ended up sleeping in the chair for most of it bc it was more comfortable. As soon as they had me up and walking I was off. I guess not many people walk as far or for as long as I did bc the nursing staff was baffled as I lapped the nursing station. The next morning after a shower I walked up to the next floor while the nurse pushed my wheelchair beside me=) Go Me! Ice cold water went down really easily so I was able to get an entire bottle down before I was discharged. Once home Mom took over Jackson duties officially. I had some AMAZING friends take care of him while mom bounced back and forth between the hospital. Flash forward a couple days and I was walking laps up and down the street with my belly band on. My followup with Dr Cronk went amazingly well. He said from the looks of things he would of never guess I would of had surgery a week earlier if he hadn't seen my scares and known better. Woot! THEN...I lost 14lbs in my first week...DOUBLE WOOT!! The pure liquid diet killed me. I just wanted to chew something!! As soon as I could eat some runny grits I was all over it. 

Flash forward today and I am 4 weeks out. Everyone says that they can see a difference in me, but I am still not seeing it. Been told its normal. Took my one month pictures and measurements tonight. I can actually see the difference between the two sets of pictures. Also, I have lost a total of 9 inches (probably plus some because we could track where mom measured my waist at).

My big trouble is making sure I am eating the proper amount of food when I eat. I haven't really gotten any sort of overfull feeling, so I feel like I'm eating too much. Pulled out the scale and am trying my best. One day at a time...right? Trying to also get back into going to the gym. Jackson has been sleeping in lately and it makes it getting to classes in the AM difficult.

Well I guess that kind of sort of catches my story up!

12 hours!! That's it...12 hours and I will be checking into Same Day Surgery!!! Tomorrow starts the first day or the rest of my life. (So epic sounding!) I am SO excited and terrified and calm...at the same time. I am very confident in the procedure. I have thought about writing letters to my husband and son, just in case, but that gets me thinking negatively and turns me into an emotion mess. I really wanted to, but I don't think I could handle the migraine I would give myself from crying through the entire process. I am puting my faith in God and know that he will watch over me and my loves tomorrow. Its because of Him that I am getting this opportunity to better my (our) future! See you all on the Loser's Bench!!!!!

Its really hitting me that I will be having surgery in a month! *wow* We just came home from Idaho and a birthday weekend with friends and family. While there I was able to talk to a couple really good friends about my wls and felt very comfortable doing so. The sad thing about the weekend is that a couple of my SUPER close friends, the ones that I wouldn't of thought twice about not seeing them didn't show up to any of our plans. Not gonna lie I was a little crushed. These are the girls that I was having a tough time telling about my news in the first place and now I won't see them until I will be 6 months post-op! This is what leads me into the disbelief. I am looking at friends blogs and pictures and their time frames for weight lost and clothing sizes. I can't believe that That can be me! I know that my family will notice a difference in my appearance around Christmas (2 months out), but not seeing anybody at home until 6 months is going to be crazy. Are they going to notice me? It just blows my mind!!! While we were gone we learned that the month we gained with DH's deployment being bumped, we are losing the time together because they are sending him to a school for the entire month. He isn't going to be here for my surgery=( I knew he was going to try to go to a training and miss the morning of my surgery, but he was going to be in town and would be there when I woke up. Now...he isn't going to be in the same state as me!. I'm hoping that he will be able to leave and meet me at the hospital the night of my surgery, but there is no reason to get my hopes up with the army. Thank God for my mom coming to help me out with DS!! Okay, now I am rambling! Just know that I am SUPER excited!!!!

Random note: I am able to talk about my current weight easier now. I think that I am accepting that I will not be 300lbs forever!!! It was nice hearing from my "little" brother that he only put me at 240 max...in my dreams AND near future=)

I met with Dr Cronk today and it was amazing! I really like him. He is very personable for a military Dr. Before he looked at my chart he asked about me and wanted to know what my story was. He gave me a compliment telling me that I was one of the healthiest patients  he has had=) I may be fluffy, but I am healthy!!! My date is October 28, but I could of had the 21st. We decided to go closer to the end of the month because I have to have a endoscopy to check to see if some "blurs" on my upper gi were in fact blurs from the chalky drink or small ulcers. No big deal or anything to really worry about. He said that I can be put on some antacids or antibiotics and still be good to go for the 28th! I can't believe this is really happening...OMG!!! Mom is booking her plane tickets tonight and rescheduling her parent teacher conferences so she can be out here for 2-3 weeks to help with J.

OMG (again)....this is really happening!!!!

I got the call from Miss Sandra tonight. Like end of business and last call of the day 3:55pm. Everything looks good and with Dr Cronk back from deployment I am on the list for a one on one evaluation to get my surgery date!! EEK!!! I am SO FREAKIN EXCITED!!!!!!! and then...I learned from DH that his deployment dates may get pushed back and may be home for my surgery. Best Day Ever! Well, except the fact that J has been sick with a horrible rash and fever. Okay, going to try to calm down enough to clean up this house before DH gets home from this month long training=)

Got word today that one of our best surgeons on Post is back and surgeries will be starting back up on the 1st of September. OMG its really going to happen. I haven't received a phone call yet for my final appt with the surgeon and scheduling my surgery date. I'm like a little kid counting down the days til Christmas. I find myself going through before and after photos as well as cyber stalking profiles of peoples weightloss journies through photos. I can't believe that that is going to be me in a couple months...EEK!! The other thing that gets me thinking is that the time my surgery should fall my husband will be deploying. He will be gone about 8 months and will come home to a new and improved wife!! That's just crazy! I love how supportive he is, even though he is very against losing of the booty and boob (typical man). I am getting better at telling people about the sugery, but haven't been able to tell anyone in my Fluffy Crew yet. Its too damn hard! My goal is to try as soon as I have a date. Then its Really Real!! Until then...counting down until October/Novemberish=)

This week am I checking off the final checks on my to do list before my name goes on the list for surgery. I can't believe how quickly it is all coming together compared to some of the journey's out there. Last week I had my Upper GI test done. It was pretty easy, but I could of done without 1 or more both of those chalky drinks *blah*! Tomorrow I have my psych appointment, honestly I'm not too worried about it. I think my head is in the right place and all of the fears and anxiety I have are all normal. The last thing I have to do before my name goes on the list is the 4 hour class on Thursday. I think after that it will become really really Real that I am doing this. I am finally over beating myself up that I am giving up on myself by having RNY done, that was really hard to accept that I am actually givng myself More by doing this! The biggest issue I'm having is telling people. Some people it just rolls off of my tongue (that makes it sound like I've told a lot of people and I really haven't). Besides my family, DH, and about 5 others nobody knows. I thought I would have and easy time telling certain people and it hasn't been. I hope that once I get a date and get closer to it I will be able to just get it out there. Being in the military I need to be able to rely on friends with DH being deployed. Ugh...one day at a time! Going to focus on getting this check list in and getting my name on the list!! Then cross my fingers and pray that the surgeons come home soon...and safely!