auntlorlee

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My surgery experience was pretty uneventful except for the first night. First of all, my surgery lasted 5 hours. Not sure why. I had it LAP. Dr. says there were no complications. It just took longer. I came out of anesthesia really pissed. I couldn't breath or take a decent breath. I told the nurse who was attending to me that I couldn't breath. He told me to push my pain button and that I would be fine. I told him I wasn't fine that I couldn't breath! I said, "My lungs hurt, is that normal?" He said, "NO, but you just had surgery!" He didn't have a sympathetic bone in his body. What a jerk! I started to calm down and get my breathing under control and felt a little better. The first few hours were pretty much a blur. I pushed my pain button regularly for the two days. Friday they took out my IV and I had two doses of percocet by mouth. The night of my surgery, I woke several times choking on my own vomit. Gross I know. I did this about 5 times until I woke up enough to realize what was going on. When I woke that last time, I couldn't breath because I had aspirated some of it. I was panicked and called in the nurse. After I raised the head of my bed farther than it was, and removed my CPAP, I was better. But that was scary! I had my surgery on Wednesday and was home by Friday evening. Slept in my own bed just fine. By the third or fourth night, I could sleep on my right side. By about 6 days I was sleeping on both sides.

My staples came out 8 days after surgery and have mostly healed. The one under my breast bone is still not completely closed. I am keeping steri strips on that one. But the others are already fading to white. Thank goodness! Thats about it for my update. I hope to keep losing like I have. I am almost in the next size down! Thanks for the support! You guys ROCK! Take care family! xoxo Lori

9/26/05 Here I sit almost 5 weeks out. I have lost 31 lbs as of this morning! I am having a terrible time with constipation. I went for 9 days without a poop! Talk about uncomfortable!! I finally broke down and took some correctol. It helped a bit but I still feel like I need to go. I hope it resolves itself. I have been trying hard to get in more than 32 oz of fluids. I feel like I am drinking water all day long. But am still not getting enough. I have decided to eat oatmeal for breakfast to see if that helps. I can now eat fruits and veggies too so that should also help.

The one thing I wish I had done was measure. I still haven't. I know even though I have lost 31lbs, I have lost a ton of inches. My stomach is sooo much smaller! I started out in a very tight 22, probably should have been a 24. I am now fitting nicely into size 20. My tops are all getting too big for me.

That's it for now. Hope this finds you all well and healthy! Take care family! xoxo Lori

10/10/05 Ok.. so now I am almost 7 weeks post-op and have gained 3 lbs!!! I am getting very very frustrated with my progress. I decided last week that I would only weigh once per week. Every Sunday. So last Sunday I weighed 249. Weighed yesterday, 252. I don't get it. I am eating less than 500 calories most days. Drinking at least 50 oz of water, usually more. How can I not be losing weight? I am pissed and depressed. I am wondering why I did this surgery anyway. I can't eat, I can't drink normally, I have to take vitamins, I can't poop like a normal person... all to lose 30 lbs. Whoopdeeshit!!! I better start losing soon.... xoxo Lori

10/17/05 Well not only did I lose the 3 lbs that I gained, I have lost 9 of it's friends! I lost 11 lbs this last week! I weigh in at 241 now. I am soooo relieved! The prune juice is working like a charm. I am actually only taking it 3 times a week now. So I think things are moving along once again. It's a good thing too. I was getting really depressed about the situation! I am exclusively in a 20 or lower depending on the pants. My 22's are huge on me. My tops are all getting too big also. It feels wonderful to look in the mirror and not see a bloated face anymore! I actually have a skinny neck! My husband still doesn't say anything. I had to actually ask him a week ago if he noticed anything. He said, well... your face looks skinnier... I said, "Dear, I have lost 30+ lbs and the only place you can tell is my face???" I was quite peeved. He isn't very observant. Thats it for now... take care family! xoxo Lori

10/31/05 My update today is a sad one. I lost my best friend yesterday. My dog's name was Casey and she was 6 years old. She was my constant companion wherever I went. She loved to go bye-bye. And she loved to sleep in my bed with me. When I was sick, she would stay in bed with me all day. She loved me unconditionally. We had a wonderful bond. I will miss her dearly. She got sick 2 weeks ago. She was diagnosed with Autoimmune hemolytic anemia. Basically her blood would not clot. And her immune system was inadvertently destroying its own blood cells. We think it may have been caused by cancer. She had a medium sized mammary tumor. It was a rough weekend for our family. My husband cried as he buried her. He said it was the hardest thing he ever had to do. On a side note, I won the costume contest Saturday night. I have posted a picture at the top of my profile. It was a nice break from home. Thanks for listening. I will post a weightloss update later on. xoxo Lori

11/01/05 Well I thought by now I would have lost 50+ lbs but no I haven't. I have lost 41. I only lost 1 lb in the last 2 weeks. Where are the lbs that I am supposed to be losing every week? I don't get it. I just don't friggin get it. I drink mass water daily, I eat protein, I don't eat sugar. I can't exercise because of my back injury, which is really pissing me off at the moment. I want it to feel better so I can at least get into the gym and on the treadmill or stationary bike. I am going to try and go next week. I am hoping it will speed things up. Something has to. After that big loss I was hoping that I broke the plateau and was on the downslide. But I guessed wrong. I hope I have a better update next time. Thanks for listening to me bitch. Love, Lori xoxo

11/8/05 I lost 3 more lbs putting me at 238! I am in the 230's! Yeah! I have 7 more lbs to go to lose 50lbs. I now have less than 100lbs to lose. I can't believe it! I am busy busy today so that is it for now. Take care family! xoxo Lori

Update 11/09/05: I just posted my 11 week photo on my photobucket. My face keeps getting skinnier! I love it! xoxo

11/14/05 This puts things into perspective for me. I have lost 35% of my excess weight. I am happy! xoxo Lori

12/09/05 Thought it was time for an update. Some of you probably have seen me whining on the Washington and August 2005 message boards. I am sorry for that. I am really happy with the fact that I have lost 54 lbs. That is now officially the most weight I have ever lost on a "diet". Before it was 40lbs. AND I did it in less than 4 months! I don't know what my problem is. I should be content with that but I am not. I can't wait to be cleared for exercise. I have an L & I related back injury and can't do anything right now. My back feels fine but I haven't been released yet. Soon I hope. I bought myself 2 pairs of size 16 jeans a couple of weeks ago. When I bought them, they were so tight that I couldn't zip them up. Well today I am wearing a pair! True they are a little tight, but I got them zipped and I can breath! I haven't worn a 16 for over 10 years. Actually, it's 14 years because my daughter was 1. Wow... I have a ton of energy lately too. My christmas shopping is almost completely done, wrapped and under the tree. I painted my living room and hallway last weekend. Changed my furniture around 3 times in the last 2 weeks. My christmas decorations are up and twinkling. And now I am trying to figure out what to do next! I feel great. I think part of the reason I feel like a bit of a failure is because of what Dr. Au said to me last week at my 3-month checkup. He told me that I was below average on my loss. My loss at the time of my visit was 34.5%. He said I should be at 38% or more at this point. OMG...A lightbulb just went on in my head... THAT is why I have been feeling so down this last week. Geez! I don't know why I didn't think of that before. Well, I think my percentages have gone up since then. I have lost 4 lbs since my visit. I am just not going to worry about it. Thanks for listening and making it this far in my profile. I appreciate all the support I get from this site and from all of you. Take care and Happy Holidays! xoxo Lori

12/15/05 I lost 8 lbs this week! I can't believe it. Last Thursday I had lost 54lbs. I weighed myself on Monday and had lost 8 lbs! I now weigh 219lbs! For the first time ever, I weigh less than my husband!!! I only have 20 more lbs to go to Onederland! I am wearing a size 16 jeans, size Large or XL tops. I feel fabulous! Other than my scratched cornea. And the cold I am trying to get over. I think that helped with the loss. I haven't been hungry. I do eat, but just not very much. A cheese stick here and there, a salad for dinner, decaf herbal tea... I am 16 weeks out today. I think I should take a new pic... I have been doing that every 2 weeks. Anyhoo.. just thought I would drop in for a short update. Take care all you lovely people! xoxo Lori

12/16/05 Ever have one of those days when you want to just hide out in your room/office with the door shut and not socialize with anyone because they are driving you FRIGGIN CRAZY????? I think I am PMSing. I can't explain it any other way. Our receptionist thinks she knows everything and got me started first thing this morning. I kinda bit her head off too. We got talking about sports, basketball in particular. My daughter is a varsity basketball player. She has played since 3rd grade. My son also plays middle school basketball. I have been around this sport for about 7 years. I know a little bit about it. The boys team from my kids' district lost last night miserably. The coach of the team they played knows our receptionist. He used to work for this (here where I work) district but now works for the rival one. She piped up and said that if our team (my kids' team) had him for a coach they never would have lost. Our team was undefeated until last night. I said THAT IS NOT TRUE. A coach is there to teach the kids how to play the game. When they lose, it's their own fault. They played like crap. The coach had nothing to do with them losing. True, coaches teach them how to play better, but in the end, it's the kids who have to take responsibility for losing or winning a game. Anyhoo, the point I am trying to make is that she thinks she knows the best way to do everything, or in this case, the best coach. She drives me up a wall when she make remarks about how things should be done. Oh and she has this saying when she gets mad... "I am gonna go home and kick my dog"!!!!!!! I am a huge animal lover, have dogs at home. How can you say something like that? That is just sick and inhumane to even say it. I know she wouldn't actually do it but I take offense to it. She is in her late 60's and I think she is getting senile. I know that I am just having a really bad day and am really really grumpy. I didn't want to take it out on her so I came here to vent. Am I overreacting? Probably so. But I am very strong in my opinions and a little bullheaded. I don't back down when I know I am right. She just got my blood boiling. I think I am over it now. Thanks for letting me vent. Take care and have a great weekend! xoxo Lori

1/4/06 Happy New Year everyone! I am sitting here with no loss for 2 weeks.. I am weighing in at 219. I can't seem to get the scale to move. I think it might have something to do with me not getting enough water in me. And I think I am drinking too much coffee. I think I heard once that for every cup of coffee, I should be drinking 2 cups of water. I guess caffeine is dehydrating. I still haven't started exercising. I haven't been cleared by my chiropractor yet. I think I am gonna check out the local gym this next week. Just to see how much it will cost me, etc. I need to do something. I want to be under 200 by my birthday next month. So, I have 44 days to lose 20 lbs. Seems feasible if I get my butt moving. And get my water in. Anyhoo, I posted some new photos on my photobucket from NYE. I got a new digital camera for Christmas and my daughter took the pics. Some of them are kinda blurry when you run the slideshow but you get the idea. I thought I looked pretty darn good! Thanks for reading my profile. See ya! xoxo Lori

1/09/06 It's Monday morning. I don't wanna be at work today. I so wanted to sleep all day today. I think I am coming down with something. Ugh! The good news is that I lost 4 lbs over the weekend. So now I am weighing in at 215. I truly thought I would be up a few lbs on Sunday. I felt so bloated and fat! I am due to start my period in a week or so. I think that is what is wrong with me. The reason I feel bloated and fat and tired. I hate PMS! SO now I have 16lbs to lose in 37 days. I want to be below 200lbs by my bday Feb 17th. I guess I better get my butt in gear! My 6 month checkup will be about a week later. I really truly hoped I would have lost 100lbs by then. But not me. If I lose the 16, I will be at 82lbs lost in 6 months. I am sure Dr. Au will give me a lecture about that... oh well. At least I am losing. And I weigh less than I have for at least 10 years. I weighed 185 in 1993 thanks to E'ola drops. It was all uphill from there... I think I weighed 222 in 1996 while taking Phen Fen and I was barely in a tight size 18. I am now at 215 and wearing a nice fitting size 16. I think I am doing ok. I better go for now. Take care family! xoxo Lori

1/17/06 I am still sitting at 215-217. Grrrrr! I know it's my TOM but still. I have been watching my calories religiously and drinking my water faithfully hoping to drop some poundage but nope! It's hangin on. I was reading the boards for Aug 2005 and saw that I am not alone. Seems that at 4-5 months there is a trend to plateau. I guess we all go through it. Well fooey! I don't want to go through a 3 week plateau! But I guess I don't have a choice. Pisses me right off. I just hope that the trend after the plateau is to drop some serious lbs! I wish us all luck! Take care family, Lori xoxo

1/27/06 Well as of today I have lost 70lbs! Just 12 more lbs to onederland! I have noticed in the last couple of days that I feel alot thinner. My 16 stretch jeans are getting looser and so are my reglular non-stretch. I cannot believe I am almost in a 14. I haven't been that size since 1994! I can't believe it. I am still losing very slowly but I will take it. I started taking a Profect every morning. Two of the 4 flavors I received are GROSS! I bought a whole case. The berry and the melon flavors are the best. The other two I can barely choke down, but I will since it cost me over $60 for the case! My hair has stopped falling out, thank god. But it's still super dry. I don't want to cut it off but might have to. A couple of inches anyway. I posted a new pic of me at 22 weeks post-op. I look so cute! I love shopping now. I hit the Goodwill and Value Village regularly. I refuse to pay full price for stuff I will just shrink out of. Makes no sense. I have a couple of friends who are the size I used to be fighting over my "fat" clothes! They told me that I always dress so nice. I never thought I did. I just wore what I liked and what covered up my flaws. Had no idea they looked to me for fashion advice! Today is a good day! I feel AWESOME! Take care family. xoxo Lori

1/31/06 A FRIGGIN 14!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE I FIT INTO A SIZE 14 JEANS THIS WEEKEND????? I am still in shock! Of course they are stretch but still... a 14! I tried on most of my jeans last night... I have 3 pairs of jeans that fit me. My 18's are now way to big to wear. My 16's are getting loose. But this is the kicker, I haven't lost any more weight. I have only lost 8 lbs in the last month and a half but I have dropped from a tight 16 just after christmas to a nicely fitting 14. I feel like I have really dropped alot of inches lately. I can't wait to be below 200. That's 12lbs away. I believe that if I lose that 12lbs I will be in a 12/14. I am still in such awe of this surgery. I was getting so damn frustrated with only losing a lb here and there. Another poster said that it seems like she will lose weight and her skin will really start to hang and then she stops losing weight but the skin shrinks up. I guess this is what happens when we lose inches instead of weight. I believe that is what is happening to me lately. I know I will need a tummy tuck. I have a really droopy pannus. It's a pretty large fold over my pubic area. It has shrunk up alot but it will never totally shrink up. I think if that wasn't there I would be in a looser 14. I have also dropped a whole cup size in bras! I was in a 44 D. Now I am in a 36 C. Yikes! But like I said before, my hubby already agreed to buy me new ones if I need them! What a guy! heehee! Anyhoo, I better go for now. Take care family! xoxo Lori

2/2/06 GO SEAHAWKS! And Happy Ground Hog Day! 6 more weeks of winter...ugh! xoxo Lori

2/6/06 THEY WERE ROBBED! Can you believe the reffing of the Superbowl??? Geez louise! Everytime the hawks would have a really good play, they would throw a flippin flag. I couldn't believe it. Obviously, they wanted the Steelers to win. Grrrr! The good news is that I lost 4 lbs. I am now 8lbs away from onderland! I just might make my goal of being below 200 by my 6 month check-up. I have 17 days before my appt. I think I might make it since my weightloss seems to have picked back up. Crossing my fingers over here! Anyhoo, just a quick update for now. Take care family, Lori xoxo

2/15/06 Well I have 8 days to lose 6lbs. My 6-month checkup is on the 23rd. I was hoping to be down around 100lbs by now. But I guess I will take 76 over nothing! I thought I was losing about a lb every other day this last week until I checked here. I have lost 2 lbs in 9 days. I went back up to 210 for about a week so that is the weight I was losing. Now that I have my monthly visit from Aunt Flo things are going back down. Thank god! I also started a walking routine. I walk every day at lunchtime. My route is 1 1/2 miles long. It takes me about 20 minutes. It can't be hurting. Hopefully it's helping. I feel skinnier so that is what counts. I have no work slacks to wear anymore. They are all too baggy. I have searched the racks at Value Village and Goodwill but I guess everyone wears a 14 or 16. There are none to be found! I have purchased a few pairs of jeans from ebay. Overall I am pretty happy with them. One pair that I thought were stretch, weren't. Another 10lbs and they will be ok but for now... yikes! I am glad that my boss understands. She lets me wear jeans to work. She knows that I am still losing weight so she doesn't expect me to go out and buy new slacks that will just fall off me in a month. Bless her heart! She is a tiny size 2-4. Never had a weight problem. But she is very supportive of me. Two of the other three gals in my office are supportive as well. The third is jealous as all get out. She doesnt' qualify for surgery since she is only about 50lbs overweight. But she complains that she wants the surgery as she is shoving a cupcake in her mouth. She tells me all the time about how she needs to lose weight but she continues to eat doughnuts, muffins, pastries, candy all day long. I have tried to explain to her about ketosis. She says she gets it but I really don't think she does. I try and help any way I can. She quit making snide comments finally. She kept calling me a scrawny bitch. Or skinny bitch. I don't mind compliments but you don't have to call me names. I think she is just afraid that when I lose another 20lbs or so, I will weigh less than her. I already wear a size smaller because of her rather ample bottom. She told me that if I get too small she will force feed me. Yeah like that is gonna happen. We joke around alot so that is why I think she thinks she can get away with it. But it does hurt my feelings occasionally. Thanks for listening to me bitch. I am feeling a little melancholy today. Take care family, Lori xoxo

3/3/06 Well I passed my 6-month check up with flying colors. I weigh 201 lbs today. Seems like the closer I have gotten to onderland, the harder it is to get over that hump! GRRR! We will get there Tammy! We will, I promise!!! I have been on a walking program. Today I kicked it up to 2 miles! I feel so good about it too. I hope the weather continues to cooperate! My clothes are fitting nicely so I know I am losing inches. I just bought 4 pairs of size 12 jeans from Ebay. Two pairs of capris and two pairs of jeans. I haven't tried to see how close they are to fitting yet. My 14's are getting looser though. I have a huge mountain of clothes that I went through the other night. I emptied my dresser and my closet and now have a big pile in the corner of my room. I am going to separate out the pants and tops and see if I can find anyone to take them. I probably could sell most of it on Ebay but don't know if it's worth the hassle. I have a couple of friends who could benefit from the clothes and that means more to me than the money. I could also bring it to a support group meeting if I ever make it to one. I still plan on going to the one in Marysville eventually. With basketball post season upon us, I haven't had time to do anything but go to games. And now Danielle is doing fastpitch and basketball. The bball team has one game to go to make it to State. WHEN they win on Saturday, they will go to Yakima next week. I have scheduled myself gone from Tuesday-Sunday. I sure hope they make it. They have worked long and hard all season. In the meantime, she has fastpitch practice every night from 6:45-8:45. I can't wait until she can drive!!! Although with the recent tradegy of losing two of our female students at Blaine HS to a car accident, I don't know if I want her to drive at all. They were both 17 years old. Very tragic. Anyhoo, thanks Tammy for doing our daily exercise poll. I think it will help keep us honest and accountable for our exercise! I know it will help me! I better shutup now.. I think I have written enough! Take care family, Lori xoxo

3/6/06 ONDERLAND ONDERLAND ONDERLAND! I weighed in yesterday at 198lbs! Yeah for me! I can't believe it! I need to celebrate! I think I might get my belly button pierced.... hmm... lol! I feel awesome! xoxo Lori

3/9/06 Well that was scary! Getting to onderland finally and then gaining back 2lbs! I know it was water but still! Sheesh! I am happy to report that I am back down to 198 and feeling great! Hey, I made a rhyme... whoo hoo! Ok, sorry had a dork moment... Anyway, I am home the rest of the week on vacation. Was hoping to get some yard work or something done but NO, it just HAD TO START SNOWING! Sheeeeit! Oh well, now I don't have any excuse not to do housework and go through my clothes. I haven't really gotten rid of anything yet. I have a ton of clothes that don't fit anymore. Oh yeah, I took some 6-month pics of myself this AM. I took some with clothes and some with only bra/panties. Scary! I posted them on photobucket in case anyone is interested. My hubby is supposed to send the before bra/panty shots today from his phone. They have been stuck on there for 6 months! I finally go ahold of Verizon and they supposedly fixed the problem. We shall see! When hubby sends, I will post. YUCKO! Ok, enough rambling for one day. Take care family! xoxo Lori

3/12/06 195lbs! And less 4 huge bags of clothes! I cleaned like a mad OCD woman this weekend. I think my hubby thought I finally lost my mind along with the 86lbs! I went through every cupboard and drawer in my house. I went through closets and dressers. Everything is clean and tidy. I can't believe that it took me 3 days to do it. Once I started, I couldn't stop until it was all done. Now I can relax! It feels great! I feel so good about myself these days! I like what I see in the mirror. I feel confident. I find myself talking to people I don't know. I smile at people. I walk with my head up and not looking at the ground anymore. I never used to make eye contact with people I didn't know. Amazing what this surgery does for us. I have been seeing posts on the main board about being a few days or weeks out of surgery and regretting it. I totally felt the same way. I wondered WTF did I do to myself. But now.... a complete turnaround of feelings. I wonder now why I didn't do this sooner. I wonder WTF did I do to myself for all those years of overeating and non-exercising....I could have ruined my life. I feel blessed to have had this surgery and thank god every day. Ok, enough mushy stuff. I hope you all have a wonderful day! Take care family! xoxo Lori

3/31/06 Well the month of March is over. I had a phenomenal month weightloss wise and exercise wise. I finally got my butt moving on a regular basis! I averaged 3 days a week on my walking, with exception of the last week and a half. I got a bad cold so I couldn't walk. But I have been walking 2 miles on my lunchbreak. That is terrific progress for me. I didn't do a lick of exercise for the first 6 months after my surgery. I was not impressed with my weightloss during that 6 months. I always thought it could have been better. Well I was right! Once I started exercising, the weight started falling off. Even though I was sick for 1 1/2 weeks, I still managed to drop 15lbs!!! I am in shock. I can't believe it really. But this morning I weighed in at 189lbs! WHOO HOO! I went from 204 at the beginning of March to 189 at the end. I haven't weighed this little since 1993 when I was doing E'ola drops. I got down to 186 back then. I stayed there for about a minute! But this time, I will not only not stay there, but I will get even smaller! I am on cloud 9 today I swear! I easily slipped into my size 12 jeans this morning! I got rid of all those clothes to a very good friend of mine. But now I have a drawer full of size 16 jeans that I can't wear. Well I could but they would be very loose! I had to hit the local Goodwill lastnight to get some clothes for work. I have been wearing the same 2 pairs of capris for too long. I can sneak in jeans about 2 days a week. But then I am switching off the capri's the other 3. For $50 I got 2 pairs of capris-one red pair, one khaki pair, 2 camisoles, one pair of jeans, a pair of Tommy Hilfiger red tennis shoes (so cute!), 3 shirts, one skirt, and a leather belt. I think I did ok! All of the stuff I got was practically brand new! I spent over an hour looking through everything. Then I spent about 20 minutes in the dressing room! In the past, I would have just grabbed the size 22/24 off the rack and bought it. Never trying it on because it was such a hassle getting undressed and then dressed again. And alot of the time it wouldn't even fit me. I am so glad those days are far behind me. So, here's to the best month so far for me weightloss wise. Hopefully I will continue this trend for the next 5 months until my 1 year anniversary. My goal is to lose another 49lbs by then. I think I just might make it!!! Take care family! xoxo Lori

4/11/06 Well I made it to 186 last week. I am sitting at 187 right at the moment. It's that time of the month so I don't expect great losses this week. I have 47lbs to get to my goal of 140lbs. I am wondering if I really want to go down that low. But then I wonder, when will my body stop losing. Maybe it will be happy at 150. I don't know if I will be but we shall see when I get there. I am wearing pretty much size 12 in most of my jeans. There are a couple of pairs that I can't quite fit into yet. But my 14's are a little loose so I have stopped wearing most of them. My goal would be to wear a size 8. That's only 3 sizes down in misses from where I am now. Whoa... that's wild! My goal before surgery was to be 160lbs and wearing a size 12. Well, I have accomplished the size 12 part! So that makes me extremely happy! My nutritionist believes that I will reach goal by one year out. I hope so. That's only 4 months away.....yikes! How time flies! That's it for now family. Have a wonderful day and thanks for stopping by! xoxo Lori

5/15/06 Well it's been over a month since I came in her to update. Guess I better. I am very disappointed in my weightloss. I am sitting at 185 for now. I keep gaining and losing the same 5 lbs. It's very frustrating. I eat the same as I did 2 months ago but I have stopped walking the last two weeks in a row. Something keeps coming up that keeps me from doing it. I need to just buckle down and get back to it. The month I started walking, I lost 14lbs!

I ran into a friend of mine who had surgery about 3 years ago. She has gained back almost 100lbs!!! I couldn't believe it! She had the same surgery I did. I am scared shitless that will happen to me. But she knows why. She eats junk food constantly. She quit dumping so she eats everything and anything. I refuse to let that happen to me. I fight with myself all the time over being hungry. I find that in the evenings I want to snack. I don't eat bad things. I have sugar free popsicles, 97% fat free popcorn, fruit, etc. But I feel so guilty that I am stuffing food in my face, regardless of the fact that it's low-fat or fat free. I keep my carbs as low as I can, around 50-80 grams a day. I just don't get why my weightloss is at a stand still for almost 2 months.

I need to re-focus my attitude. I need to get back to walking 4 days a week. I need to find something to do in the evening to keep the munchies away. I need to drink more water.

I am so scared that I am done... xoxo Lori

5/30/06 Well I am not done losing! Had my 9-month check up on Wednesday the 24th and I had lost 100.4lbs! Yeah! Today I weighed in at 175! I can't believe the weightloss is starting again! I am sooo happy! I was so scared after seeing my friend. I thought that I was done and was going to start gaining too! I swear that was the best thing that I could have seen. It totally motivated me to keep on the right path and keep exercising! I am NOT going to gain all my weight back! I refuse! I am wearing 10-12's in my pants/jeans now. My tops are mediums-larges. If I didn't lose another lb, I would be ok with how I look. I feel great! My labs are perfect! I am a happy camper! Hopefully my next update will be just as good! Take care family! xoxo Lori

6/10/06 My best friend is having lapband surgery in TJ Mexico today. I hope everything turns out great. I wish I could have went with her but it just wasn't possible. I sure miss her and regret that I won't be there for her during her weightloss journey! I will be there in spirit though and wish her nothing but the best!!! xoxo Lori

7/6/06 Thought it was time for an update. I have updated some pics at the top of my profile. Pretty cool ride that day. I got a little sunburned but it was a perfect day. My weight has been pretty stable at 170. I weighed 169 this morning but I am not counting on staying there. I seem to waiver a couple of pounds alot of the time. Seems like when I break into a new set of 10's, i.e. 90's, 80's, 70's, etc., I can't stay in them without going up a lb or two. So, I won't count it until I am at least 165! LOL! I know, weird huh? Yeah, I know! LOL! The new antidepressant that I have been taking, Celexa, seems to be working well. I don't feel like I am taking anything really. The only difference is that my mood is better! So, no side effects so far. Thank goodness! Most of my jeans are now a size 10. I have a few 12's that I still wear simply because I need to for work. I can't wear jeans EVERY day! lol! I just purchase a pair of size 8's off of Ebay today. They are levi's so they run a little big. My 10's stretch out and are kinda baggy so I thought I would try an 8 in the same style. THAT will be a trip if they fit. WHOA NELLY! I haven't worn that size since 1986.....or there abouts. Before stretch jeans!! heehee! Guess that's about it for now. Hope you all get something from reading my profile. I try and keep it updated as best as I can. I remember being postop and reading profiles. Some of them I couldn't stop reading. It was like they were telling my story. And I loved hearing how things changed as they lost weight. I was fun reading the WOW's they experienced. And seeing the new pics. I just wish I knew how to put a link at the top of my page that jumps you to the most recent update. Anybody wanna help me?? Take care family, Lori xoxo

7/12/06 Just thought I would let ya know that my size 8 Levi's that I bought on Ebay FIT!!!! They fit and they look great! YAHHHOOOOOO! Size FRIGGIN 8! Yeah me! xoxo Lori

8/28/06 WOW it's been a long time since I updated! I am sitting at 163 according to my surgeon's scale. I will accept that. I am wearing size 8-10 jeans and medium to large tops. I feel fantastic! Had my one year anniversary on Thursday last week, the 24th to be exact. Had my one year appt on Friday. I am doing awesome according to them. Most people at one year out have lost an average of 70% of their excess weight. I have lost 82%! Harriet, the dr. assistant, paraded me around the office with my before pic. Everyone was impressed! I felt like a star! LOL! I discussed the possibility of a tummy tuck since I have been getting a smelly rash in my belly button. She said that my panni is on the small side for surgery. A measurement of 3 or less on the ruler doesn't qualify. Mine is 4 1/2. She said to keep on discussing it with my surgeon every 6 months now and see if it changes. Well, it should if I lose more weight between now and February, my 18 month check up. I am going to my family physician for my annual physical on the 26th of Sept and will be discussing it with her then. She is all for me having it done. My goal is to lose another 23lbs to get to my personal goal of 140lbs. My sugeon's goal was 166. I didn't know this until my appt on Friday. So, I guess I just surpassed that! Yeah me! Anyhoo... that's it for now. Take care and thanks for reading! xoxo Lori

8/28/06 again... I found this on someone else's profile and thought I would post it here. I have heard so many times from my sisters that I took the easy way out... I beg to differ....

When you say it's easy I hear that my efforts are not respectable.

When you say it's easy I hear that my pain and suffering are insignificant.

When you say it's easy I hear that the hurdles I jumped were nothing.

When you say it's easy I hear that I am unworthy of this change in my physical appearance and health.

When you say it's easy I hear that you think it is wrong.

When you say it's easy I hear that you think I am wrong.

When you say it's easy I hear that you don't think much of ME.

When you say it's easy I hear that I should be embarassed.

When you say it's easy YOU HURT ME.

9/29/06 Well here it is a month later and I have had no weightloss. I go between 159-165. I don't know if I am done but some days it sure feels like it. I eat way more than I ever did but I still make good choices. I have had some sugary foods though. Like 2 pieces of my daughter's bday cake, on different occasions of course, not all at once! I am happy where I am at if I don't lose another lb. Of course I would really love to hit my goal of 140 but I am not sure if I will ever get there. I have slacked way off on my exercise too. Things at home haven't been the best and it just brings me down. I am depressed and don't feel like doing anything. My husband only wants to lay around and watch TV. I want to go out and be social. So most of the time I go out on the weekends alone. I enjoy the adult conversation and I have to tell ya, I don't mind the male attention I get either. It gives my self esteem such a boost! I love having men stare at me and look me up and down. It's a far cry from the looks I used to get when I was fat. You all know that look, the one of disgust from men who think they are all that. Well now those men are staring at me because they think I am HOT!!! And I LOVE it! Of course I don't ever let it get any further than a hello, and then it's the "thanks but I am married" line. But I still have men buying me drinks all night long. Cheap for me! Some of you might not like the fact that I am liking this attention. I can't help the way you feel. I am enjoying being a hot chick for once in my stinkin life. And since my husband doesn't ever give me the time of day, or make me feel attractive, or wanted, or yearned for... I can't help it. I have suffered such low self-esteem for most of my adult life, it's nice to feel the other way. I feel good about the way I look. I love to flirt and feel wanted. If my husband gave me what I needed, I probably wouldn't enjoy it so much. I don't know where my marriage will end up if things don't change. But I don't like the direction its heading. Scares the daylights outta me to be honest. Thanks for listening to me vent... it goes through my husband's ears and right out the other side!!! grrr! Take care, Lori xoxo