AngieB67

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It's official. I have officially received the bounce back of weight that everyone says you receive after WLS.  At my lowest, I was 173. Looking back, in some ways I feel like that was too small.  I was almost a size 8 back then.  As a matter of fact, I still have 2 size 8 dresses in my closet and I look at them and think to myself, DAAAAAAANG! I was really small.  

Looking at the pictures, I can see how folks were alarmed.  I'm covered up in the pictures but I remember being able to see my  ribcage through my skin when I looked at myself naked in the bathroom mirror.  Not a good look according to the hubby and I can admit to being a little stunned and, yes...even a little fascinated by it too.  After all,  I've never seen BONES sticking through my skin before.  I wanted to be thinner but at the same time, I didn't want to look like a SKELETON!  That was NOT cool.

So now I sit 25 lbs heavier from my lowest point.  My husband is very happy with how I look and especially my rounded backside! LOL  My butt still looks like a sharpei dog, but with clothes on, and particularly with the right pair of pants and undergarments, I can look slightly bootylicious! HA!  Bones are not as obvious through my skin these days and folks don't call me skinny anymore (or at least, I haven't noticed lately).

Technically, I am still in my size 10s but in an effort to stop "obscessing" about the number on the scale, I made the mistake of listening to my sister and folks on the OH boards that said to stop weighing yourself all the time and go by how your clothes fit. I call it a mistake because in light of how tall I am, by the time my weight gain starts to show up in my clothes, I feel like I'm too far gone!!  Hence the overall 25 lb gain.  My 10s are a little tight and I am NOT happy about that!  I've been a 10 for a couple of years now and I've bought some really nice pieces for my wardrobe that I REFUSE to give up!  So it's time to buckle down.

I've stopped telling people that I want to lose more weight because folks look at me like I'm crazy.  They say "You look fine! Be happy where you are."  But the more important fact is that I am not satisfied with my weight.  I liked it when my 10s were a little less snug.  I don't want them to be baggy like when I was my smallest. But I don't like the tight feeling either.

So I decided it's time for mama to WORK IT OUT!! 

All this time, I have been able to lose weight and haven't even really worked out.  I guess it's time to pay the piper! LOL My diet is what it is.  Yes, I probably enjoy more carbs than I should eat but I don't eat more than I should to send me out of control.  And I am at a point that if I were to cut certain things out totally, I would feel really deprived.  Plus, I think I've just reached a point in my weight and age that I actually need to work out. So 2 weeks ago, I got fed up with my weight and I enrolled that day in a gym membership at Planet Fitness.  And given that my sorority schedule is about to get CRAZY in the next couple of months, I am not sure how I'm going to make it fit.  But I just have to hold on to my committment to MYSELF.  I have to put myself and my health FIRST and make working out a priority...PERIOD.

And guess what, I like how it makes me feel. I like being able to walk up the 3 flights of stairs to my office instead of taking the elevator and not feel totally winded when I reach the top.  I like the feeling of accomplishment I get when I leave the gym and know that I've done something FOR ME.  I like the fact that yesterday, I wore a pair of size 10 jeans that I couldn't even pull up on my THIGHS a couple of weeks ago before I started working out! Were they tight? Yup. But they didn't look bad. 

My first goal is to be back comfortable in my size 10s by the summer. I want to lose however many pounds to get back to where I should be in a 10. I don't exactly know how many pounds that will be because stuff seems to distribute itself differently on my 6'0 tall body.

My second goal is to be able to RUN on a treadmill for 30 minutes.  When I was morbidly obese, I would have NEVER thought I could run for a minute, much less for 30 non-stop!  My knees and legs were in so much pain that it was impossible.  Now, I can actually imagine myself running! I can see where I'm almost at a point where I could do it! That's going to be so exciting to me.  But admittedly, I am a little afraid. The fat girl in me is still saying "you can't do it." But the rest of me is telling her to SHUT UP! LOL

And lastly, my goal is to start to see some muscles on my frame.  People always assume that I am/was an athlete because of the way I'm built.  And secretly, I've felt a little guilty for not taking advantage of some of my genetic blessings.  Wouldn't it be neat to wear a tank top this summer and look like my arms are a little cut? (hehehe) I can't wait.

So Mama is gonna WORK IT OUT! Hmmm...Maybe I should take some before and after pictures, eh? 

Wow! Has it almost been a YEAR since I last checked in?  YIKES! Time is FLYING by! I guess that's what happens when you're having fun!

Life with my DS is still good.  I am up 20 pounds though from last year.  This morning I weighed in at 193, 2 pounds down from my 195 last week when I was on my period.  I'm not freaking out about it though.  It seems that during "that time of the month" my body retains fluid (even though I'm drinking at least 48 oz of water most days (probably more on others).    Because as soon as my period is over, the scale starts to move in the other direction as evidenced by today.  So I try not to sweat it, but I don't want to ever get back to weighing over 200 lbs.  So I'll cut back a little more on the carbs just to keep myself in line for the next two weeks.  

Size wise, I am still a size 10 and I still am referred to as being "SKINNY" although my BMI now tells me that I am officially "OVERWEIGHT".  I bet you if they cut this loose, flappy skin off my thighs and the back of my arms, I'll easily be back in normal range! LOL!  For the first time, I'm actually considering plastic surgery for my arms and maybe my legs if it doesn't involve a lateral cut around my waist to lift the skin. It's pure vanity, I know, but wearing a bathing suit and shorts in the summertime always gives me mental grief because my butt looks like a little sharpei dog! As long as I'm covered up, I feel fine which doesn't work in 90 to 100 degree weather!

My iron levels seem to have leveled off.  Taking B-12 injections more frequently helps my energy levels.  But getting rid of my former place of employment has helped the most! That job was sooooo stressful that it literally was KILLING me.  I am so glad to be rid of that place! WHEW!  I like my new job too.  It's awesome and the benefits are the bomb! Thank God for THAT blessing!

So overall, I am feeling good.  Lately, I have been learning how to apply makeup and I am totally becoming a makeup and hair addict!  I have been watching tutorials on how to apply makeup and how to do your own hair and have become OBSCESSED with getting in touch with my "inner girlie".  Before, I would never have put makeup on to go to work.  Some mascara and maybe some lip gloss with a pony tail were my normal go-to styles.  But now, I'm totally glammed out with foundation, eyeshadows, blush, LASHES, and the whole nine!  I must say, combined with the weight loss and lowered stress level, I haven't looked or felt this great in YEARS!!  Everyone who sees me now who knew me before, says the same thing! 

I feel like I'm playing catch-up! Like I totally skipped the clothes and makeup phase when I was a teenager and now I'm going back to learn what I should have learned how to do then.  But it's still cool because now, I'm a grown- ass woman with a bank account to buy whatever the hell pleases me! HA!

Earlier this year, I even had the nerve to enter a nationwide photo beauty contest and made it to the final  top 10!!  I didn't win, but that's pretty cool considering that I'm 43 and I wasn't wearing any makeup other than some mascara and lip gloss in the picture!!  

The name of the game for me right now is just to enjoy my journey.  I'm not where I will eventually wind up, but I must remember not to get so caught up in the climb that I forget to take in the beautiful scenery all around me on my way UP!

I have been having major issues with my butt for the last week or so.  Mostly it's caused by the loose stools that I've been having.  And partly it's because of the harsh toilet paper I'm forced to use when I'm away from home.  But this hemorrhoid thing has been a royal pain in the ASS for me!  It was so bad the other night that I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital because I was in such pain.  I bought some suppositories and that didn't help.  I bought some flushable medicated wipes and that made it feel cooler but it didn't take the pain away.  And to make matters worse, I'm starting to see blood in my stool.  So that means I'm definitely going to have to make a doctor's appointment this week. 

The only thing that has been helping is Preparation H with maximum strength pain relief.  At first, I wasn't feeling squeezing a cream in my butt.  But luckily, it has an applicator so it's not that bad.  And best of all, it seems to work decently.  It doesn't take the pain away completely, but at least I can get some sleep.

My husband is worried.  I haven't had a bout of diarrhea, per se but my stool has definitely been soft like mashed potatoes.  And I do notice that whenever I eat a salad or some movie popcorn, that gets things moving in my system which lets me know my DS still works!  The other day, I had both and my butt has paid the price for the movement in my stool. 

Weight-wise, I'm still holding steady between 175 and 180.  Whenever I get back up to the 180 range, I swap my carbs for a salad for a day or so and that takes care of it.  Clothing-wise, I'm wearing a size 10 in everything.  Sometimes I can even do an 8/10 but I'm a little nervous about dipping into the 8's because I think I look TOO thin.  But I am definitely happy with the results of my WLS and having made it to beyond my goal.

If only I can get the hemorrhoids under control, I'd be all good!

Back in the day, I would have never thought I would EVVVVVAAAAAH (ever) hear someone say those words to me.  But now, that comment comes unsolicited at least 2 or 3 times a DAY!!  (and that is NO exaggeration).

I don't know how to take it.  I don't know how to process such a comment when my reaction deep down is not flattery but rather shame and guilt!  And since my time doesn't really have much room to be parked on a therapist's couch.  Let's try to unpack this together, shall we?

SHAME:  I know I should be flattered, but I'm ashamed at how much time I feel like I WASTED being obese.  Why didn't I do this YEARS ago??  Why did I let that first surgeon do that hideous VBG on me?? Why didn't I know about the DS back in 1994 when I was much younger?  I would have saved so much time, energy, embarassment, self-loathing, and maybe even made some different decisions for my life had I been thinner.  Yeah...I know....This is a case of the coulda, shoulda, woulda's but I know for a fact that I feel like a new woman on the outside and somewhere that would have penetrated in the inside and things might have been very different in my life.  But then again, I have a GREAT life right now and if it means that in order to have the life I have right now, I would have had to endure the pain and heartache of obesity, so be it!

I also feel shame for even "complaining" about this.  My heavy girlfriends and even my family members all cut me off at the pass when I try to say that I'm not comfortable with the compliment.  I usually get a big dose of "I wish I had THAT problem!"  Which in turn makes me feel worse and MORE ashamed that I would have the nerve to bring it up!  That's why I love the OH website so much because there are those here on this forum who know what I'm talking about and can at least relate.

GUILT:  I feel a little guilt that I don't wave the surgery banner as openly as some of my fellow DSers do.  Some folks were very open about sharing their surgery with co-workers and friends.  I have practically told no one.  For me, it was none of their business and felt like a private matter.  I didn't run around telling folks when I was having surgery for my fibroids or other things in my life and I didn't this time either.  And while I don't lie when folks ask me directly, I don't walk around with the t-shirt on either and for that, I feel a tiny amount of shame.  After all, I am a REAL success story.  When I encounter anti-obesity surgery folks, they make me want to smack the stink out of them because half the time, they don't know what they're talking about!! 

This weekend, I got to hang out with one of my good girlfriends who is still struggling with her weight.  She would never consider surgery and I wouldn't even talk with her about it unless she brought it up.  I hadn't seen her in a few months and somehow, she thinks I look SMALLER now than I did a few months ago.  As soon as we met up and I went to hug her, I could literally feel her eyes scanning my body with a somewhat JEALOUS eye.  Good thing we have that kind of relationship that she is able to openly say to me that she's jealous.  But that whole encounter made me uncomfortable.  We went shopping in what used to be OUR favorite plus size boutique.  And while she was in heaven.  I couldn't find anything that would fit.  But then when the owner came out with some fabulous smaller pieces (but still too big) and I got to try them on and walk around the store, folks came in off the street and asked the dreaded question: "ARE YOU A MODEL???"

I usually just smile pleasantly and say "Oh...heavens no! I'm too old and I'm too ____(insert excuse here)___" and they usually reply "You should be".  And I sit with the shame and guilt rushing over me once they leave.  But one of these days, I'm going to receive the compliment and learn how to just say "No".

I think I might have bottomed out with my weight.  I've been floating between 175 and 180 for months now.  Personally, I hope that this is my forever size.  I don't think I personally could take much smaller.  Or even if I could eventually deal with it myself, I don't think I'll ever get used to OTHER PEOPLE's reaction to me. 

I guess its the fat brain part of me that just can't let go. Sometimes, I really have to make a conscious effort to watch what I say about food and weight in the company of other people.  Because it's usually at times like those that I slip and get caught off guard by people's reaction. 

Let me explain...

Easter Sunday, my church had a bake sale downstairs in the fellowship hall.  Imagine a looooong table full of baked cakes, cookies, pies and such made by good Christian women! HA!  Anyway, I made my famous banana nut bread for the sale and went downstairs after it was over to see what was left.  I was glad to see my banana nut bread loaves and muffins had been long gone and decided to buy something from the table that had been marked down.  (I felt sorry for the mystery baker and would have been mortified if it were me!)  But which to choose???? YUMMY! YUMMY!!

As I surveyed the table, I saw a particularly decadent strawberry cake with fresh strawberries on top! OOHHH!! (I think I was actually LOUD with that one too!)   The lady behind the table said, you should buy it!  Here's where my FAT brain kicks in...

I said, I don't think I should. I'm trying to be good. A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips! [PHRASES TOTALLY FROM MY OBESE DAYS.]  The lady and all her friends around her literally stopped talking to each other to turn to stare at me!!  It was almost one of those E.F. Hutton kind of silences!!  She rolls her eyes at me and says " OOHHH PUUUHLEASE!!  WHAT HIPS SKINNY MINNIE??"  She didn't say it with malice or anything but she was honestly commenting on how RIDICULOUS I sound now. 

At work yesterday, I walked past  a long window and saw my reflection in the mirror.  I literally had to do a double take to wonder who that TALL, SKINNY CHICK was in the mirror looking back at me???  The lady was right! WHAT HIPS???  What butt?  WOW!!  I don't even RECOGNIZE myself anymore!! I guess to some, that's a good thing but for me right now, it's a little scary!  Will I ever get used to seeing this tall, lanky woman in the mirror??  Will she stay that way? 

I must admit, I'm loving the wide variety of clothes that I can wear now!  I feel like a kid in a candy store sometimes with all the new options I have!  And it's flattering to be mistaken for a model. ME???  Who would have ever thought! I guess it's just going to take a long time for my fat brain to let go of the former me and embrace who I am now.

My journey would be easier if I didn't feel so darn self-conscious about folks reacting to my weight loss.  Tonight, I've got an event to go to in which people haven't seen me in a year (or 2 or 3 or 4) and might be getting the first glimpse of the NEW me.  I realize that it probably is a dramatic change but I still have not managed to become comfortable with the way they CARRY ON about it!!  I actually hate it to the point that they're raving hurts my feelings a little.  I actually considered for a long time not going even though I have to be there.  But I decided that I owed it to myself to go anyway.  Besides, if I could faithfully go year after year dragging around that excess 155 lbs and endure people talking about me behind my back, surely I can go and face them now, eh??

TIME TO PUT ON MY BIG GIRL SKINNY PANTIES!! (hahaha)

 

This afternoon, I went with my sister to David's Bridal to help her look for a wedding dress.  (YEAAAH!! )

She...correction, I found a nice dress that really compliments her and she loved it.  The sales lady was a little pissed because the dresses she kept picking, my sister didn't like and all the ones I picked she liked.  Hey! What can I say?  I know my sister like the back of my hand!

Anyway, she bought her dress (size 14).  And we proceeded to look for my Maid of Honor dress.  I was pretty much open to whatever she wanted me to wear.  Truth be told, I would have worn a burlap sack to her wedding and been just as happy just to be there!  We opted for the separates that David's has.  And it was neat because the top I chose can be worn 6 different ways!  WAY KEWL!  That means I can continue to rock that dress after the wedding is over. RIGHTEOUS!!

I initially told the lady I wear a size 12 but I took one look at it and thought, maybe I ought to go for the 10. They had a size 10 skirt which fit me nicely and really looked nice on my new figure.  But the only top they had was in a size 12.  We knew it was too big but since there were no size 10 tops, we rolled with the 12.  But here's the kicker!  The saleslady said you're small enough, you might actually be able to fit a size 8!

I tried it on and guess what! THAT JOKER FIT!! A SIZE EIGHT!!  My sister thought I might even be able to go down in skirt size too, but I wasn't having it.  I was freaking out enough as it was about the top being an EIGHT!  They would have had to carry me out of there if I wore and eight skirt and top!

I can scarcely believe that I fit that eight.  But on the other hand, I look so tiny now.  It's hard fore even me to get used to.  I look in the mirror and the thin woman looking back at me is someone I don't recognize. Even looking at dresses was a very different experience for me now.  I no longer can gauge will look good on me.  Before, when I was heavy, I knew what styles of clothes to wear that helped my figure out and looked nice on such a big girl.  That's why I was able to find something that complimented my sister because she's crossed over into the realm of a big girl.  And even as I walked the racks at David's Bridal, I reminisced about the last time I was there and having to look for dresses in the size 20 racks.  And now, 5 years later, I'm at the same shop weighing 175 and looking at a size EIGHT!

If I weren't there myself, I wouldn't believe it!

I think I will celebrate my birthday today by meditating on the fact that I have been reborn again.  Yeah, the spiritual sense is fine too but since my WLS, I feel like I literally have been reborn!  I am a new creation, a new creature and it still feels so very new to me.  On Christmas day, I went over to my sister's house and wore my new little brown dress with brown tights and felt so very young (did I mention I was looking fabulous too ?)  When I took my coat off, the look on her face was almost priceless! Her jaw fell to the floor and she said I shocked her.  I asked her if I looked okay and she said I did, the dress really looked nice on me but she was shocked because she would never have imagined I would wear something like that!  She's right.  The OLD me would never have worn anything that short because I would have looked like a fat, hot mess!!  But now, I'm taking more risks and trying on more things that I think might compliment me.   I felt a little self conscious but I think with time, I'll feel better about stepping outside of my fashion comfort zone.

My husband thinks I've lost TOO much weight now and I've crossed over into the unhealthy zone.  He might be a little right.  I officially weigh 180 this morning.  That was not much of a surprise given I had a case of diahrrea from the little bug that the kids brought home from daycare.  I'm worried that I'm not getting enough nutrition in my body and I'm certain my family is already worried about it too.  I'm seeing too much of a skeleton frame in the mirror and it's borderline NOT CUTE with my clothes off.  I've already lost my ass so hubby ain't happy.  I've lost my boobs and hips so I'm not happy.  I definitely need to start a weight building regime to build back some of this muscle I've lost.

I go in to Dr. Vanguri for my follow-up appointment next month.  I think I'll talk to him about slowing the weight loss down.  I am pretty much eating whatever I want to include carbs.  Right now, the sky is the limit or shall I say my SOMETIMEY STOMACH is the limit!  Some days, I'll be fine and can eat like I never had WLS.  Other days, I can try to eat the very same things and NOTHING will go down.  It's like that damn VBG that I had back in the day is still haunting me by blocking my food going down. It is SOOO annoying, especially when I'm eating out or with the family.  I always have to get up and go to the bathroom to bring the food back up because something is stuck and that feeling is so uncomfortable.  Yesterday, I had to do it with EVERYTHING I ate.  On Christmas, I was able to eat the second half my plate because I upchucked the first half in the middle of dinner. 

My sister-in-law is suspicious.  Nobody in their family knows that I had WLS.  She thinks I either had WLS or have anorexia/bulemia.  To be honest, I don't know which one is worse to me - admitting I had WLS or letting them whisper behind my back about staging an intervention!!   

My new breast doctor called me skinny.  Wow...welcome to the new ME!

If ever there was any doubt about the success of my WLS, there can absolutely be none now.  Here I am at 22 months since my surgery and I am still losing weight.  I got on the scale this morning and I'm at 180.  I've actually been here for about a week or so, but I didn't want to believe it.  I thought it might have been a fluke or something because my weight fluctuates so much right around my period.  But it looks like this new weight is going to hold (or at least vary to 185). 

With my trip to Greece and Italy last month, I wasn't sure what effect being on the cruise was going to have.  I did my best to make sure I was eating well and concentrating on protein.  But to be honest, I just ate whatever I felt like eating!  Desserts, rich sauces, bread, pasta... you name it, I ate it!! Folks on the trip even had nerve to point out that I was eating the whole time.  And the absolutely decadent part about it was that I haven't exercised a lick!!  So truly, I've become that chick you love to hate! A lot of the people on the cruise thought I was a model and were saying how lucky I was to have a metabolism that allowed me to eat whatever I wanted and not gain any weight.  I simply smiled and thought to myself, "Ahh...I LOVE MY DS!!"


But I am getting to the place where I don't want to lose much more though.  Clothing wise, I'm wearing a size 12 jean and a size 10 skirt.  My blouses are either a large or a medium now and the size 14 skirts that I bought this spring are VERY baggy now.  It's hard to determine whether I should get rid of these too or keep them in anticipation of the bounceback. Since it's winter, I've been rocking these sweater dresses with a pair of leggings underneath which is a really cute and comfortable look and is quite forgiving of any extra loss.

But underneath it all,  I am REALLY TINY now.  You can definitely see my spine, ribs and bones through my skin. My thighs are looking like a sharpeii now!  And there is about 3 inches of loose skin hanging around my mid-section.  Fortunately for me, it still isn't remotely as bad as some of my other WLS brothers and sisters.  But if I were a tad more vain, I'd take the plunge and go for plastic surgery to get rid of the skin around my mid-section and thighs and have a Brazillian butt lift!! 

At night, when I lay down in the bed, it feels wierd to be able to crossmy arms around myself and feel my bones poking me. Sometimes I feel a little self-conscious that my hubby will complain.  My mother and sister feel that I'm too thin now.  They'd actually like me to gain about 15 or 20 lbs.  Part of me sometimes wonders if they are right.  But like I mentioned before, I think I'll push the panic button with Dr. V. if I lose another 10 pounds.  If I ever can fit my butt in a pair of size 10 jeans, I'm going to faint because I will officially be smaller than my 13 year old daughter!!

I would have NEVER in a million years thought I would be THAT woman...

You know the type! The thin, eats everything she wants and doesn't gain a pound chick.  Yes!  THAT chick!

Oh how I used to HATE that chick!  I couldn't stand being around her thin ass while I was suffering with my weight and she was metabolically lucky and genetically blessed to be naturally thin.  OH HOW I USED TO ABHOR THAT CHICK!  We'd go out to dinner with friends and she'd be at the table ordering a double cheeseburger with extra bacon and then eating some fatty fries to boot and I'd be relegated to the salad with lite dressing and a glass of water.  She'd almost look thinner the next time we saw her and I would have gained another 5 pounds!!  (BITCH! ) We'd try to go window shopping together and she would always find the cutest outfits in her size but the store would NEVER have my size in stock.  She used to make me sick with how she could run up the stairs in the mall while I'd have to lag behind taking the escalator.  I COULDN'T STAND THAT CHICK!!

And now, just this weekend when I was getting together with 6 of my new girlfriends for a girl's night out, I realized that I AM NOW THAT CHICK!!  When did that happen?? My girls and I met at a new jazz bar for dinner and drinks.  With jobs, kids, husbands, etc...getting together sometimes takes some work!  But we were all free on Friday night. HOORAY!

I walked in wearing my size 10 black leggings and a long form fitting sweater feeling FABULOUS (My husband calls that my Barbie outfit because he says I look like a Barbie doll when I wear it).  My friends couldn't help but comment on how small I am.  I normally wear loose clothes around them so Friday was the first time you could tell my size.  And mind you, my immediate family are the only ones who know about my surgery.  They never knew me when I was obese.  And when I tell them I used to be fat, they don't believe me.  They think I'm exaggerating.  IMAGINE THAT!!

Anyway, we sat down to order dinner. Yumm!...I think I'll have the Chicken Cobb salad with extra avocado and the loaded baked potato on the side please.  Oh! And can you put extra bacon and butter on my potato and really load it up with cheese? Thank you!!

"Look at her!"  She's so skinny! She can eat whatever she wants! She makes me sick!"  I stopped devouring my dinner and looked up from my plate to see who they were talking about so I could join in!  The NERVE of THAT CHICK trying to mess up our evening!!! Who does she think she is?

My friends were looking dead at ME...

Yes, my friends, I've become THAT CHICK!!!

For the last month or so, I have been coasting at a steady 190 pounds.  Even at my doctor's office, my hateful scale at home still agrees.  So I haven't really given it much thought in terms of losing anything additional.  I am more than happy with the results of my surgery.  Losing 100% of your excess body weight is a dream, so I can't hardly complain.

But imagine my surprise when I got on the scale this morning and it said 185!!!!  OH MY GOODNESS!! WHAAAAAT!! 

I was expecting the dreaded bounce back to begin, not to be STILL losing!!  WOW!! 

Of course, my family and friends and even folks from church are commenting that I need to gain some weight now.  They don't say I look bad but they are certainly trying to fatten me up!  It's amazing that I can sit there in front of them and eat a double bacon cheeseburger and actually LOSE weight!! 

I'm telling ya'! My DS is the BOMB!!

But in fairness to my hubby and family, if my weight drops another 15 pounds, I'll talk to Dr. V about starting some enzymes to slow down my weight loss.  Right now, I'm wearing a size 10/12 which is BEYOND my wildest dream!  I think if I saw a size 8, I'd pass out!