2mch4em

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I have gained 15 pounds. I know what the problem is. It's stress and what I'm eating. I'm contemplating leaving finally. I know I've talked about it off and on here, but I am at my breaking point. I don't know who's still around here. It seems like it's died down around here and I keep telling ya'll I'm on FB. Come on over and friend me there. I have more pics! LOL But I am so depressed right now and I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have 3 children now. We ended up adopting my oldest son's biological brother. Then last month, I found out that I was going through pre-menopause and I was contemplating having another baby. I actually tried to get pregnant last month and I'm said to say that it didn't work. I'm depressed about that too. But...it's just alot.

Hey ya'll! I know...I'm late as usual...but hey, I still come around to check on ya'll and to keep myself in check. I currently weigh 147 pounds almost 8 months after the birth of Broderick. I'm wearing small/med tops and size 7/8 pants. I had wrote a long post, but when I submitted it...it disappeared. *sigh* I will post again soon~

Broderick was born on July 1st...my labor went something like this:

Waterbroke at 3:30am
First Real Contraction at 4:11am
Was at the hospital by 10mins to 5am
Verified that my water had broke and I was 3 centimeters dialated
7:02am I was 5 centimeters
9:24am I was 7 centimeters
10:28 I was complete and told to hang out for a few minutes
11:47am started pushing
12:01pm he was born

Hey ya'll! This pregnancy has went by really fast for me! I can't believe my new little boy will be here soon! I've gained a total of 6 pounds. I had gained 9, lost 8.5 and then gained 5.5. I will be so glad when this is over so I can stop craving foods and stop eating as much. I feel like I'm eating all the time! As far as the marriage, it's not getting any better. I'm just going with the flow. I'm at the point now where I don't even want my husband in the delivery room! Sad, but true. I attend my first Childbirth class on Tuesday and I was there alone. I was the only one that didn't have a partner. He didn't want to go. I said screw it. He stayed home with our other son even though we had a sitter just so he would be able to attend the class with me. I'm not begging him to go or do anything else with me. He knows what needs to be done. I shouldn't have to remind him of A, B, & C. But enough about that....

Is it me or does it seem like the forums on here aren't being updated as much. It seems like no one is posting anything anywhere. I've been looking for the pregnancy stuff and the postings there are old~ lol Anyway, I will let ya'll go! I will be in touch again soon! I'm ready to get in the gym, lose the rest of my weight and get my boobs done. LOL Come on July 8th!!

Hey ya'll. It's been a while. From what I've noticed...after the surgery, you become so engrossed in your "new life" that you forget or don't have time to come back to OH. I need to come back here more often for motivation and as a reminder of where I was before so that I won't end up there again. Let's see, what's been going on with me....well since October...we've finally moved into our own place and that happened in December 2010 and by the way, we found out that we were pregnant in October....on the 28th to be exact.mOur 4th wedding anniversary. Right now I am currently 6mths and almost 2wks pregnant with a little boy. I don't know how I really feel about this pregnancy to be honest with you. I've only gained 1pound so far and I've been eating, TRUST ME. I'm still not able to eat alot and I THANK GOD FOR THAT!

I started out weighing 183 at my initial prenatal check up. Now I weigh 177. I was weighing 176 the month b4 last. So I'll take it. The baby is growing fine. My 2year old does not have a clue as to what is going on. I've been teaching him the word baby to prepare him for the birth of his lil brother. I haven't shopped much at all. I guess I'm not that enthusiastic because of the current relationship state of my husband and I. I want a divorce. You see...lemme start from the beginning. At my lovely weight of 2hunned and sumthin pounds....I married the man that I thought I was supposed to marry. He is disabled, he has cerebral palsy and walks with crutches. No other disabilities...(except mental sometimes....~upward eyeroll...but I digress~) I know with every fiber in me that I settled into this marriage because of low self esteem. He couldn't drive, only had eyes for me and didn't really deal with any other chicks....(don't get me wrong, during our dating phase....I had to put a few in check...) but now I'm at this point where there are certain things that I've been putting up with for too long. Things that I chose to ignore, overlook, and just say "oh well" about. Since having the surgery almost 2 years ago...(OMG!) I am no longer able to tolerate those things. Some of these issues I did not know about until after we got married and now I feel like I'm trapped.

My husband is lazy (they enabled him his entire life) he is not romantic, cheap, doesn't have any other goals in life, does not aspire to do anything else productive. Case in point....I'm 6mths pregnant. He was just laid off from his job of 5 years on the 16th of this month, this guy is actually tryna sit out of work and collect unemployment for a while and just chill. He tells me everyday that he is looking for a job. I am like WTH??? In my mind I imagined him (or fantasized....) about him being in such an uproar bout how he wasn't going to be sitting around because he had a new baby coming and his wife is currently unemployed that he just will not sit around and be without...he has a FAMILY to provide for and etc....~blankstare..~ yeah...my life. So I'm just waiting. There are other things that I'm DYING to share, but I am afraid that I will be embarassed... My family tried to tell me not to marry him and that it was only going to get worse and they are right. I've did the take it to Jesus thing and I am starting to wonder does the Lord really want his children to stay together forever and be unhappy?? We've been together a total of 16 years and married for 4 out of those years. I try not to envy my friends and their marriages and how their husband treat them. Oh yeah the treatment I've been receiving with this pregnancy is nothing for me to brag about.

This is my 2nd "First Pregnancy." My 2 year old son is adopted and we miscarried on 3/21/10 at 10 weeks with our first pregnancy. I thought I was going to get the " No baby, I do that for ya" or the "don't move I'll get it" NONE OF THAT....it's more like...."Hey you in the kitchen? What about fixin me some...or can you get me or what bout getting US some etc..." But when I ask him to do something for me...he won't move right away....in fact sometimes he won't move at all and I"ll end up doing it myself with him yelling in the background to "bring me some too..." UGH...I"m so frustrated right now and at a loss. I've been so worried about what people will say and think about me. I've been worried about God and my place in heaven and if I were to divorce and get married if I would be considered committing adultery ~per the Bible...~ I just don't believe that God wants us to be in an unhappy marriage. It takes two, you have to work together and etc and I feel that I've more than done that...it's not being reciprocrated. I've expressed my feelings to him on more than one occasion and cried and yelled and screamed and nothing has worked. It has went in one ear and out of the other. I've been praying and asking God to deliver me and etc...I don't know ya'll. I'll take all of the advice I can get. ~WHEW~ Yeah, it's been a long time and I've missed ya'll and it feels good to vent. I will be posting pictures soon!



2mch4em

Hey ya'll, long time no see! Just stopping through to tell ya'll what's been going on with me. I feel myself slipping into a hole filled with food. I am drinking soda, haven't had a protein shake in a while, haven't had any vitamins and have pretty much been eating what I want and while I'm still not able to eat like I used to, I feel guilty as hell. I feel like I am cheating myself. I have tried to think and rationalize my feelings as to why am I eating and why am I drinking sodas.

I currently weigh 184.3. I am 16mths out. I still feel like a failure. My family and I are living with my bro in law and sis in law and it is hell in a handbasket...I think that contributes to my eating habits also because I am not able to cook and prepare my own meals. We eat out everyday and occasionally we will have sandwiches...if their kids haven't destroyed our bread and eatin our lunch meat. *sigh* We have not been pregnant again since the miscarriage on 3/21. My due date was last week which had me feeling down in the dumps because I was thinking about what would've been. I've been missing my mom, missing my job and yet I'm still trying to find a way to not ever work for someone else again.

I really would like to receive funding for my mentoring program. Check it out! I am launching E-Mentoring, hopefully by the end of the year or the beginning of 2011. I am extremely excited about my program which is called The P.H.A.T. Kids Mentoring Program and I currently have almost 30 kids enrolled. Just trying to match mentors with the mentees! I love it and it is a dream come true for me. Just not bringing in any income. I am getting unemployment benefits, but they will not last long. I am getting ready to apply for an extention soon. **sigh** Thanks for listening guys. I don't think I'm that far gone, but I would again...love some suggestions from those that are 16mths out. What are you eating? I freak out because I can eat a whole taco from taco bell...I can only eat one, but that scares me...smh! Pray for me! Love ya'll and I miss ya'll too!

 Just stopping thru to see how everyone is doing. I'm coming up on my one year anniversary! WOW! How crazy is that? The last time I was on the scale was in March and I was down to 199.9. You know I was dancing!!  I just wanted to let ya'll know also that I've lost the baby. At my 8 week appointment I was told that I was measuring 6 weeks. The Dr. had me to come in the next week for my 9 week appt and the baby didn't have a heartbeat.  I chose to let my body go through the process naturally. That was one of the worst times in my life. I felt like such a failure. The baby finally left my body on March 21st. I had to collect it and see it. I was not able to send it in for testing. But I'm still having days where I tear up about it. I wanted to start trying again immediately. The Dr.  said to wait one or two cycles. We waited one....waiting to see what is going to happen. I hope so...but if not we will try again this Month.  My cycle is due to start on May 16th. So hopefully we will have a positive test.   But we'll see. Anywhoo, I'm in M/L tops.. XL Dresses, Size 14 dresses and a TRUE SIZE 16.  I shop in the JR/Misses section now. Nothing fits me in the other stores. (ie: Avenue, LB's...etc) I'm into cute undies and cute dresses. I think my shoe size has changed to. I was in a 7 1/2, now I think I  wear a 7.  Can someone link me a sample menu for someone that is almost a year out! I think I need some redirection to try some new things! 

I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ok, like seriously...I've never, ever, EVER had a positive pregnancy test before in my life and I have been freaking out ever since! I took the test last Tuesday just for kicks and giggles and got a plus sign...and then I took 5 more!! A part of me is anxious and scared someone is gonna come around the corner and say "Gotcha!" But I believe that this is my time and that this is a gift from God and my mommy! I will tell ya'll more about that later...but I just wanted to share and let you know that it has happened for me and I am so happy about it! I am going to be on the message boards to find out how and what I'm supposed to do! Thanks guys for being here when I need to talk or vent...no matter how few and far in between my visits have been!

~sigh~ Ok so I'm down 65 pounds at seven months out. Why not more?  I ask myself this question all the time. Most people are 100 pds down or more. I walk, I take my vitamins, I eat, the right things. I don't know what it is. Can someone shed some light on this please. Can someone send me a sample menu at 7 months? I'm doing well. Still doing poetry. Still married....size 16 w pants and xl/m/and some small tops. It's  great....I just wish it would all fall off already. LOL My insurance company changed so I will be unable to continue my 1 year post surgery follow up's. This new insurance doesn't cover anything. Anyone familiar with Wellpath? If so let me know something. I have days of depression still...it ain't nothing new. Still have trouble seeing the lose at times.  Then sometimes I'm conceited...lol. My boobs...OMG...I'ma hafta get those home girls lifted and recontructed. I went from a 48ddd to a 38ddd right now. But even before the surgery I was contemplating having them reduced. So at all most a  year out...I now have baby fever and boob fever...rofl. I want to have a baby before I have my breast done or in what order do ya'll think it should be? I'm turning 34 in May, scared of going through early menopause like my mom did. I have a son, but  he was adopted and I want to experience being pregnant and childbirth now that my cycle is every 28 days like clockwork, I think I may have a chance here...Well I just wanted to let everyone know I'm still here and still trying to be slim-ER. Check me out every Wednesday night on my online radioshow: PGL Radio: www.blogtalkradio.com/phatgurllove

You can also check me out on FB: Search for Phatgurllove and also Pebbles "Phatgurllove" McClain.

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I know I've been gone a while. Haven't been doing too much of nothing. I am down a total of 42 Pounds. To me it's not alot but hey I'm still in my 18's! I have been struggling with my reflection and how I still feel like a dayum beach whale. Ugh!

I'm unable to exercise like I should. I am back in school getting my MBA. I finally jumped out there and performed my poetry at a Spoken Word event. I am now working on setting up my radio station and I would love for anyone to be interviewed and talk about being  a Phatgurl and talk about your experiences. I do write poetry and I have been working on  my first book due to be released by the end of the year/early 2010 so I am excited about that!  I still miss my momma like crazy. The hubby and I are ok, still surviving the storm. I just wanted to drop in and say hey! I am going to post some pics and ya'll give me some advice. I don't think I'm doing too good. Lately I have been having some pains in my lil stomach that have been causing me to wonder what the !@#$% is that! Just an ache! OMG....It's not like a burning but an ache, quiverin and achy feeling. It hurt so bad over the weekend and a little last night. I thought it may have been gas. I'm scared to go to the Dr because Im afraid they may say that they hafta go back in. Lawd knows I don't want that! But I miss ya'll and I will be back more often.


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