Dee.spunk

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  I got in a size 29!    I went to forever 21, the whole time thinking, "they're not gonna have anything in my size. No way!"    So anyways, I walked up to the jeans cause they said $10, which to me is a bargain, since I'm used to paying $40+ for jeans at Lane Bryant. The biggest size I found were 30, and since I know nothing about sizes,( in the US they mostly use sizes 2,4,6,8 etc, so I don't know what these other sizes meant) I asked the lady at the counter what their biggest size was. She said that if I look I could probably find a 31.    So I went to look again and still couldn't find any, but decided, what the heck, let's give the 30's a try. They fit, but a little big. So I thought, well, why not try the 29's? What do I got to lose?    Guess what?! They totally fit! So I bought two, because I have no jeans to wear, the ones I have at home are 14's and kept sliding off. I went online to check what a size 29 would be, and it said its a size 8! An 8!!! That's too crazy! I'm amazed by how far I've come.    Okay, so anyways, I get home and I did have one pair of jeans I had been saving that are a size ten. I hadn't tried them thinking they'd be to small. They are now too big! I didn't even get to wear them! The tag is still on them. Smh...

 So I weighed myself yesterday and guess what? I am 157 lbs! I'm just happy cause I seriously cannot remember being this weight ever in my adult life. Plus, it puts me only 7 lbs away from my personal goal of 150. 

You know what else it means? It means that I've lost 150 lbs since the start of this! 150 lbs! That's incredible to me.

I am about a size 8/10 now. I haven't bought new clothes cause it gets expensive. But my jeans (size 14) are way to big now as are my skirts. I've been wearing little dresses instead cause they're easier to take in and even if they are a bit big, they're not ginna fall off of me like my pants will.

I think my feet might've shrunk again. I started out a size 9/9.5. I got down to a 7.5 and stuck there. And since it's shoes, I had no choice, I had to buy shoes that fit. Now those are getting to big! It's so crazy!

Even my undies got to big. And since I've never bought undies anywhere else but lane Bryant, I was confused about the sizes they have. I bought a size 7 cause some lady told me those would probably fit. Wrong! Way to BIG! They sagged all over! I gotta go back and get a smaller size I guess. 

Even with all these new things happening and all the accomplishments, I can't help but feel like I'm not doing good enough at times. I know I've come far, but I guess until I reach goal I'll be able to feel like "yay! I did it!". It's not everyday that I feel like this but every once in a while I do. Today though, I'm happy and excited at all the new changes! Woo-hoo! 

So I've been going up and down the same pound over and over again. But for some reason I'm okay with that. I am 167-168 and it's been years since I've been that small. I am in a size 12-14, med or large and I feel great. I fit in booths, I can walk for miles, I'm active in my congregation, and my quality of life has improved tremendously.    I can even wear heels all day and not feel the least bit tired.    I dance, run, play, jump! I ran and jumped into my husbands arms the other day, first time ever and he caught me! No problem.    In reality, if I stayed here, I'd be happy. I'm good here. My goal is 130 lbs, so I'm only 30 lbs from goal weight. My surgeons is 120, which since the beginning I thought was impossible, but it is only 40 lbs away. So it probably is doable.    I just thank god he's brought me this far. I am okay with what I eat and the amount. I finally realized I'm not hungry, I just learned to eat whenever I had free time so if I stop moving, the first thing on my mind was, hmmm... What should I eat?   Now I can focus on other stuff. And when I do stop and have time, I just ask myself, am I really hungry, or is it just something to do? If I just need something to do, then I find myself something to do. If not, if I think it's hunger, I give myself 5-10 minutes and if it goes away, it wasn't true hunger. This happens more often that not. I feel really positive with this progress. I refuse to fail!  

 So I was 172.2 for the past month. I got down to 170 at one point, for maybe 3 days, but then I'd bounce back to 171-172. Now, I realize 1-2 pounds up or down is not a big deal, but I admit I was frustrated last week. I know it was probably hormones, cause I felt like crying and I was moody. I even called my NUT on Friday cause I was feeling low in the dumps and I had conflicting advice by my doc and my NUT. she didn't answer so I left a message.  

The weekend was better. I didn't loose anything, but for whatever reason I felt fine.

Monday, my NUT called. She asked what was going on. I explained how I had been feeling and how the doc had told me to eat 2 oz only at each meal, 3 times a day. She had said 6-8 oz three times a day. She told me, yes, that's the general rule, 6-8 oz, but for me, 2 oz is what I should be eating. I had been eating about 4 oz a meal.  I told her I was also having a snack in the evening, usually a cheese stick or some jerky. She said no snacking! 3 meals and that's it. So I ate my 2 oz meals, 3 times a day, but I sorta ignored her No Snacking rule, because that night I had a spoonful of peanut butter and on Tuesday I had popcorn (another no-no) and Wednesday I had yogurt. I just can't stick to the no snack rule. My last meal is usually at 6 or so and eating only 2 oz seems to such a small amount, so I eat a small snack at like 9.

Today, I hoped onto the scale and weighed 170 again. Wasn't expecting it to move at all! So maybe I do need to eat only 2 oz a meal. It's such a small amount, but I admit, when I eat it, I get full. I just can't shake that 4th meal. I'll try again today...

Okay, So, today I took my measurements. I don't do it very often, I forget, but I've done it three times now and can see the changes, big time. Hopefully this will also help motivate me!  

So here are my measurements so far:  

  1 week Before surgery @ 239   Left upper arm:17.25   L. Thigh:26   L. Wrist:6.5   L. Ankle:9.75   R. Upper arm:16.5   R. Thigh:26   R. Wrist:6.5   Mid section:54.5   Under chest:42.5   Chest:49    Neck:16  

Total inches:280  

2/19/12 @ 194  
Left upper arm: 16.5   L. Thigh:23   L. Wrist:6.25   L. Ankle:9   R. Upper arm:16.5   R. Thigh:24   R. Wrist:6.25   Mid section:48   Under chest:37.5   Chest :44   Neck:14.5  

Total inches: 254.75

  6/11/12 @ 171 lbs.   

Left upper arm:13.25   L. Thigh:22.75   L. Wrist:6   L. Ankle:9.25   R. Upper arm:14.5   R. Thigh:22   R. Wrist:6.   Mid section:42.5   Under chest:35.5   Chest:40   Neck:14   Total inches: 235.25   Total lost to date: 44.75 inches  

 So, I am almost 7 months out, but I've been in a stall since 5/28/12. I weighed 171 on that day. Since then, I've been back up to 172, down to 170, back up to 171 and so on and so forth. Today, 6/11/12, I am 171.3. So, though I know the "6 month stall" is common, I am a bit frustrated, but I'm trying to deal with it by keeping things in perspective. Today I charted what I lost and when. Tomorrow I will measure, cause I haven't done it in a while.

So, these are my monthly losses so far:
Nov 30 (Surgery day): weighed 234 lbs. 
Dec: lost 22 lbs. 
Jan: lost 8 lbs. 
Feb: lost 12 lbs. 
Mar: lost 6 lbs. 
April: lost 7 lbs. 
May: lost 8 lbs. 

So, I'm a slow loser. I can see that. But, I am happy for how far I've come, and I couldn't have done it without eating right and exercising so I gotta keep going and just trust that it'll work.

Tomorrow, my measurements. 

 Someone posted about how open people are about having RNY and I wrote a little something bit thought I'd elaborate a bit more. 
 I only told a 2 of my friends my hubby and my parents. No one else. One of my friends has a huge family and I know she told her sisters, which in essence means her while family knows. My other friend, my best friend, told no one. She actually respects my privacy. My dad did tell a close family friend, because he hadn't seen us in church that week and my husband was his assistant. So he told him I was having surgery, but didnt tell him what kind. But if he knew, then his wife knew. 

Apperantly it is my moms job to spread the news. Ugh. 
 I had told her many times to stop telling people. She still did. And she posted it in FB. At first I was truly pissed off at her and we even stopped talking cause of it. I finally went to her house sat her down and talked to her about how it is private and if I choose to tell someone it's fine, because it is mine to tell. 
 Her response was, "well, everyone knows already. I don't see why we have to keep it a secret." I said "everyone know because you told everyone!" Aaaaahh! 
 Okay, so yes, everyone e does know now, so I'm over trying to hide it, cause she told the world. No point in being mad now. It's out. Might as well own it, right? 
 Now, if I'm asked, I just tell them, cause if I don't, my mom will!
But I'm not ashamed of having it. I just figure everyone didn't need to know. People have been nothing but supportive, so I'm okay with people knowing now.   
 

 I totally posted this on the RNY forum, but had to post it here too, cause it was just to good. 

After dinner tonight we, my mom, hubby and I, were driving home in my little yellow mini cooper.
I pulled up to a stop light next to these two young kids. They were listening to some hip hop, really loud.
I was about to roll up my window when they suddenly turned it down. Then they yelled, "Hey! Hey! Mini cooper! Looking good! What's your name?"
I looked over and the driver, who was maybe 17, winked at me and the passenger blew me a kiss. He then said, "you're hot!"

I was a bit embarrassed, mostly cause my mom was in the passenger seat watching all this unfold and My hubby was in the back sleeping (he works super early). 

Luckily the light turned green and my car is pretty speedy so off I went. But my mom actually got a kick out of the whole thing. 

It felt kinda good that even though I am a lot older than these kids, they still thought I was hot! Height: 5'1~HW:307 SW:234 CW:170 GW:120 
     

 Yesterday I drank some milk and right after I drank it my stomach started making these gurgling noises. All of a sudden I had to get up and run to the bathroom and ... well you can guess what happens next. I have bm's every morning, like clockwork, but apperantly I was full of....well, let's just say I wasn't empty. After the whole ordeal was over I decided to weigh, cause it was a lot! I lost 2 lbs! That's means I've been carrying around two pounds of crap. Gross!!! I felt soooo much better after and even came to work today. My tummy feels empty and it feels wonderful!

 I'm home again because of my period. I know that weight loss makes you lose all the estrogen stored in your fat, but that's a whole lot of estrogen! It's never ending!

 Anyways, I figured I'd write since I'm not really doing much except laying in bed. 

Ive actually been doing pretty good. I'm down to 171, I'm 6 months out exactly and I've had no complications at all. My biggest issue at first was if I took one bite to many I'd get the foamies. Now I need to watch how much I eat. I can usually eat about 4 oz. but sometimes I've served myself 4 oz and I eat 2.5 and I'm full, but I think, "oh, one more bite should be fine". Wrong! I end up regretting it as soon as I swallow it. Then for the next hour I feel like crap. So, still learning. 

Also, in my program were not supposed to do protien shakes or bars, but I went out and bought the bars after I had a sample at Costco and felt great throughout the day. So now I'll have a bar a day. But I can't eat a whole bar. I can 1/4 here and another there, but if I eat the whole thing, it also makes me sick. I dump. Even though they have 1g of sugar. I think it's the carbs. 

So far, I've only had one serious dumping episode. I ate some chocolate truffles at the movies and spent half the movie dry heaving in the bathroom. It was the worst feeling. I had the chills, sweaty, heart beating outta my chest and the feeling of throwing up, though all I did was dry heave. Never again!

Well, besides that, all has been well. I am only 50 lbs to goal weight, which I think is awesome. I never thought I'd even make it this far.  It just didn't fit in my head that it would actually work. Logically, I knew I couldn't fail, but the side of my brain that doesn't reason thy way didn't believe it. But here I am. So if others can do it and I can do it, so can anyone else!