Starting my Journey!

Oct 30, 2013

As I type this I hear "Don't stop Believing" on repeat in my head.  

Hi I'm Crystal! I am turning 29 in December and I finally have a chance to change my life. Here I sit at 380 pounds! The heaviest I have ever been in my entire life! How did I get here? I have been over weight my whole life; even as a young teen I remember getting picked on because of my weight. As the years went on I started to get depressed. I didn't like who I was so I tried the fad diets, nothing! What am I doing wrong?? Eventually I just stopped eating, the scale didn’t move…. I was shocked! I decided I needed a change so I picked up and moved to South Carolina. This meant that I could have a fresh start! I started embracing who I was; the big girl! I started making jokes and became okay with who I was (some days).  I never saw myself as big in the mirror and when I saw pictures I would just turn the other cheek and say “that’s not me”. I convinced myself that I was skinny like everyone else. This did wonders for myself esteem but didn’t so much help in the dieting end. If I thought I was already skinny why would I need to diet? So I didn’t. I weighed 287 when I met my fiancée. He loves me for me all my pounds! ;) 3 months after we started dating I ended up pregnant, with twins…. Now don’t get me wrong I love my son with all my heart and soul, but if I could do it again I would wish it differently. I gained the rest of my weight with the pregnancy. I had so many complications and ended up on bed rest and miscarrying one of my two babies.

Don’t cry for me Argentina!  The good Lord knows what he is doing. So anyways now I am pregnant and on bed rest and all you want to do is eat, and eat and eat. So I blew up! I ended up having a C-section, and then came back into the hospital because I got an infection. I knew right then and there that I needed a change. So I started on Protein diets and lost weight! (Things were looking up!!!) This was great! I was losing.  I found myself not being able to afford the shakes anymore, but I figured I would just buy the stuff at the store and it would be the same.. WRONG!  Guess what came back??  So I did some other diets and like many others nothing worked!!! So here I am ready to make this change in my life! I want to play with my son and not be out of breath. I want to take him on rides at amusement parks and not have to “sit this one out”. I want to walk into a room and feel like I’m the prettiest girl there. I’m ready to make this change, and I think weight loss surgery is going to be a huge helping hand in my journey. 

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