I feel like I'm not perfect enough for the Sleeve.

We are not perfect by any means.  Read this post to help you balance what you read on the forum. Remember, even the vets that are at goal started at a place similar to what you are in.  I was far from perfect, but consistent.  When I was going into surgery I never thought I would make it to goal, but was hopeful to at least lose enough to start moving around better. It is hard to wrap your brain around how powerful the tool is before you have it done- it makes staying on plan far easier than it is preop. 

I did not have VSG but I had RNY. This is a life changing surgery.I will say it was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. Going to a therapist has helped me with my relationship with food and changes that needed to be done in my life. There are a lot of people that can help you on this website.

Ask questions.Read up on the surgery. 

I saw my one grandmother go blind from diabetes and my other grandmother lose both her legs and then die of a heart attack at 62 years old.  I had type 2 diabetes and was on oral medicines, byletta, and insulin. 

Surgery was a chance to live a different life and I embraced that chance.  Flour, sugar, candy, rice, pasta, breads, cakes, pizza, cookies and ice cream are not worth trading my eyes or legs for.  What surgery did for me was take away the constant hunger.  My old stomach was always feeling empty and I was always looking for something to eat.  Because I lost all my hunger feelings after surgery, it was so easy to stay on my plan.

I still have no hunger at almost seven years out.  I really believe that I have no hunger because I cut out all white carbs.  I did that six months before surgery, but it was really hard until I had my RNY. 

I used to love pasta, pizza, and ice cream.  Now I love being able to wear size 4 jeans.  I love going to the pool in a beautiful swimsuit and exercising hard.  I love having energy and stamina.  I love the way my body looks and feels. 

I did not really give up anything. I just learned substitutes for what I used to love.  Protein ice cream, cookies with no sugar or flour, pizza toppings without the crust, sandwiches and burgers without the bread or bun, lasagna without the noodles are all things that I can enjoy without weight gain or carb cravings. 

Only you can decide what matters to you.  You can get the surgery, lose weight and go back to your old ways of eating and just be another failed statistic.  Or you can get the surgery and learn how to make high protein, low carb living work for you to keep you slim for life.  You could do low carb high protein without the surgery, but it would be extremely hard. 

I think of it like the difference between going from New York to Los Angeles.  You could walk and get there someday, or you could take a plane and be there very quickly.  People tell me that surgery is the easy way out and I entirely agree with them.

I felt that way a lot when I started reading these forums, so I totally get where you're coming from.  I saw a lot of posts talking about tracking every single calorie and I knew, from the get go, that tracking calories was something I could not do.  So, if it was required for success, I knew that I would fail, or drive myself insane.  (I have issues with numbers and obsession, it's very unhealthy.)  

But, thankfully, time passed and I continued to read everything and learn as much as I could and I came to the realization that there is no ONE TRUE WAY.  We're all different and different things work for all of us.  There are people who have success without counting calories.  There are people who have success with moderation.  There are people who even have success eating carbs!  

I'm still a n00b.  I just passed the 4 month mark and I'm almost 40% of the way to my ultimate dream goal.  I'm sure that there are people here who think I'm doing things wrong, some have even blocked me - yikes, but while I might not meet their vision of perfection, I'm certainly achieving my own vision of perfection.  My weight has been steadily trending downward and, while it might take me 5 years to reach my ultimate goal, I know that I'll get there eventually.  And, honestly, my ultimate dream goal is happiness and I've already achieved that in spades.  :D  

There are certainly things that are important for everyone - getting in enough water and protein, taking the correct vitamins, following diet and exercise restrictions in the first 1-2 months so that you allow your body to heal, being on the lookout for signs of serious complications... but aside from those things, we've got room to find the best plan for our own selves.  And, for me, the best thing about OH is that I get exposure to all the types of plans that people have.  :)  

Unlike a lot of people here, I don't have a history of dieting.  But I do know that I don't feel miserable or deprived now.  (But this is the question I get asked by my dad most often, which is funny to me.)  I don't feel like I'm sad when I eat with other people and they can eat more than I can.  I still have days when I "slip up" but they don't bother me.  Yesterday I ate 6 tostitoes scoops stuffed as full as I could fill them with some delicious fresh local salsa.  A year ago, I would have eaten the whole bag and then looked for me.  For me, this is true perfection.  VSG, and all of the other work I've done, has changed my outlook on life and food.  I've invested a lot into this process and I'm not going to allow that time and energy to go to waste.  I think of all of this as the ultimate sign of loving myself.  :D  

I eat everything that I eat because it's yummy.  I will never think of food as simply fuel.  But it's useful to learn how to cook things that are yummy AND good fuel.  The two don't need to be, and aren't, mutually exclusive.  

I think you'll be okay.  It's great that you're thinking of all of this stuff now, when you still have lots of time to learn and figure things out.  You can do this.  

 

(I forgot to add - this IS challenging, even if I don't feel miserable and deprived.  I've had to find new ways to spend my time, new ways to exist, I see an awesome therapist, being around my dad when he snacks is really triggering for me.. there are all sorts of hurdles.  But this time, I'm committed to overcoming them and not letting them derail me.  For me, that's what this surgery has done for me.)

Hear me now and believe me later....this journey is NOT all unicorns and rainbows!  This is hard, hard, HARD work...every single day.  Some days are easier than others, and it's definitely easier in the beginning than it is now.  We all slip, we all fall, we all have epic fails that we don't typically share with everyone here on OH...but believe me, it happens!  

Are there some "special snowflakes" out there that never eat off plan, never let sugar touch their lips, never have a lazy moment or day....I seriously doubt it.  But you do occasionally see posts from those "perfect" people.  But more often you'll read posts about people struggling.  And just because their struggling doesn't mean they aren't "good enough" for the sleeve or that they are going to fail.  It just means they are HUMAN. 

Has VSG changed my whole outlook on life and food?  No....losing weight has changed a lot of my outlook on life and food.  And it will for you too!  

Will you always be stuck with this fat girl brain?  Possibly - I'm a compulsive over-eater with an eating disorder and no surgery is ever going to fix that.  The surgery is on your stomach, not your brain.  There is always going to be a fat girl inside me screaming to get out!  I have to deal with her in other ways ie. Overeaters Anonymous, therapy, etc.  

The surgery is just one tool in your super-hero-obesity-fighting tool belt.  It can't be the only tool you use or you will fail.  So make sure you have everything else in place before you get the surgery.  

Good luck to you! 

 

Thank you for this post, amazing weight loss I weigh 235 now and my goal is 130 such a close weight! I did used to be a compulsive over eater which is what got me to a high weight of 250 and I stayed 250 for a year. Then I cut down a bit that is why I am 235 now but I still struggle, somedays I have binged out and well its very easy because I still have my full sized hungry belly. I am very confident that the sleeve will be an amazing tool for me, its just hard to stay positive when I've been on 20 different diets. It also doesn't help that my family is so anti weight loss surgery. 

I had RNY, but I will answer, too. I was a mess pre-op. I was on a six month supervised diet and did not lose a single pound. I needed surgery to be able to lose the weight. I did not think I could do it either, but I got through it a day at a time, learning more each day. I have had many more good days than bad. THAT should be our goal. We do not have to be "perfect".

I am far from perfect but I am loving my new lifestyle. It is hard work but worth every effort.

VSG didn't change my attitude towards life rather my attitude about life changed and allowed me to make a decision for surgery. AND I am old... What I mean is, life is always worth living to the fullest at any age.

Go for anything that makes life more meaningful. You can do it!

I am far from perfect I am still learning to read labels...I am not good at counting carbs, fats, calories and so on. I have a lot to learn. Its like when you come home from the hospital with your first baby your clueless. I have a lot to learn but I won't give up. Im 5 weeks out so all is new to me but I have lost 20 pounds and to me that's worth learning more. Good luck to you!!!

Doll, not a single one of us is perfect, no matter what they post on here. It is easier to make a change when it is done in small steps. It sounds as if you are well on your way to awareness, and that is the first and possibly hardest step. Let go of perfection. Aim for making good choices. Sometimes you might have to white-knuckle it moment by moment, but you will be able to do it.