Sometimes I think I'm a failure, but I'm not

Today is my 1 year surgiversary. I'm so used to reading about huge losses here, and I'm not one of them. One year out, I'm down 65 pounds. I'm still obese according to the BMI calculator. It's slow... very slow. Oddly though it's not frustrating anymore. It is what it is. Here's the thing... 1 year out, and I eat what I want. i don't eat a lot and I eat protein first, but you know last night we had pizza and I had a slice. And it was yummy.

So could it be more? Sure. Could be a less? Sure. Am I whining? No. Am I satisfied? Kinda. Would my surgeon be? I don't care. I have my life back. Here's how I know:

1. I have my 30 year high school reunion in a few weeks and I'm not freaking out about it. I'm looking forward to seeing people, and I won't feel judged. I'll just be me. #Winner.

2. I can run. I run 3-5 miles at a clip and I can keep going. My best run is a 10K - not in a race but on my own. I started in February. I like it. It likes me. #Winner

3. We went on a cruise in April. I didn't gain weight. I was restricted from any off-shore excursion because of my weight. I did exactly what I wanted to do - no one else's rules applied #Winner

4. I went for a bra fitting. I let a lady fit the living hell out of me. I wasn't uncomfortable. I have not lost my girls, although the inches around the back are startling. #Winner

5. I've been dealing with tragedy and crisis one after the other for the last 8 months. I haven't turned to food. Or drink. Or anything else. #Winner

6. I don't think about food every minute of the day anymore. I just eat to live. My husband told me yesterday I looked skinny. #Winner

So, the big question... would I do it again? In a New York minute. As difficult as it's been for me to lose these 65 pounds, I know now that I never stood a chance with this battle with my sleeve as a tool. So I'm grateful for the decision I made and wins I've seen. I'm about 15 pounds away from my goal.  And a year out, that's OK.

I'd post pictures if I could figure out how to. But like so many of you... I'm mystified. Can't seem to post any to my profile either - lol

Ellen

Beautifully stated!  Congrats on your success!!!

Congratulations! You have a great outlook and enjoyment of your life and that is what counts. 65 lbs is a pretty good loss also. 

The only real failure along this journey is when you quit and give up. So, dont ever think you are a failure. Youve done a good job.

Sounds like you are doing great and right where you want to be.  Congratulations!

You sound like you've done good overall. You aren't thinking about food constantly. You are only 15 pounds from goal and I bet you can do it if you keep up the protein first. Your exercise sounds great. Winning is indeed the theme!

i think u r a winner congratulations honey

I have followed your journey and you have done fantastically well. :-)

Hello Ellen,

I'm in your boat and I feel the same as you.  I know I haven't lost a dramatic amount (like some), but I can still shop in the regular clothes stores, I've joined a gym, I walk the dog, I do the stairs, I kayak, my migraines are diminished and I haven't lost my gall bladder (huge successes for me)!  I do the same as you as in getting my protein in first, but then I allow myself a few things so I'm not deprived.  I say we both are successes--very much so.

Take care and enjoy your new life!

Denise

Despite what we see on these postings, my doctor advised me that the average weight loss at one year is 65% of your excess weight.  That is AVERAGE and that is at 1 year.  Their position is that, if you follow their guidelines, no more, no less, you should hit 65% at 1 year and 100% by 18 months.

I wholeheartedly agree with your sentiment.  I eat 1200 calories a DAY, and I have at least 1 treat in my diet every day.  I am AHEAD of goal, even at that pace, and I am THRILLED with my progress.  If I ate less I would be emotionally unhappy AND physically tired.  at this rate I feel good.  REALLY good.  If I want pizza, I will have it.  ONE slice.  If I am scheduled to have a salad for dinner and I have a chance to go out with friends and have a burger instead, I have the burger.  if that puts me over goal, I will add some extra walking or housework to burn some of it, and adjust my diet for tomorrow.

Life is too short to stress so much.  At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is that you can live with your choices.  65 lbs is HUGE and if that were the end of it, your health is so much the better for it!