Struggling

I haven't been here for a while. I had my surgery on June 26, 2013. I have lost 120 pounds since then, which I am pumped about. This past fall I fell into a deep depression and couldn't work (I am a teacher) for 2 months. I went back right after the new year and lack passion for teaching and life in general. I always feel hungry now, I am not eating crap, but I have gained 3 pounds in a week. I was supposed to get my period this week and it didn't happen. I know 3 pounds can be anything, but now I feel like even more of a failure. I work a full time job, a part time job and am in grad school. I keep telling myself that I have this, but in reality all I want is a slice of pizza since I feel like a fat ass cow anyway. Oy.

I'm so sorry that you're struggling. Your post about your feelings was exactly mine about a month ago. I was in a deep depression and felt like a failure in many areas. I also am in grad school and am doing an internship and work full-time too. Plus, I have a special needs son. All of it was really getting me down, so I talked to my doctor, and he put me back on an antidepressant that I had gone off since surgery. It made all the difference in the world. I know a lot of people don't want to take medicines, and that's cool. I'm just telling my personal experience. I was also getting weekly migraines and daily stress headaches, so my doc gave me meds for those, too. I finally feel back to being myself and feel like I can get through the day without all the depression and anxiety and aches and pains (I also suffer from fibromyalgia, a chronic pain condition). I want you to know that you are not alone. You have done a fabulous job with your weight loss, and probably right now your hormones are a bit out of whack, which exacerbates everything. Hang in there as best you can, take a walk, meditate, journal about your daily stresses, and think about asking your doctor for medical help if need be.

(((HUGS)))

Ann

(Spideymom)

I have been thinking about going to see a doctor about antidepressants due to my continuously recurring depression I keep undergoing since I have had the surgery. I find myself more often then not regretting I ever did and wishing I just stayed the way I was. It is good to see that someone else is also dealing with depression and I am not alone and that medication has helped them. This gives me hope. I also suffer from fibromyalgia. A few weeks after the surgery I went off all meds due to a lithium toxicity issue I ran into and was hospitalized for (I am also bipolar). I could only be off my pain medication for the fibro for a week before I hurt so bad and couldn't sleep that it wasn't even funny. So I started taking half prior dosage, and only taking it at night. It has helped tremendously. I had issues with migraines before the surgery as well and was on multiple medications to maintain them. I find I do not have an issue with them anymore so there is some less medication I have to worry about atleast. 

I'm really sorry to hear you are suffering. I think that depression and anxiety are fairly common after we give up food as our main source of comfort.

Most of us benefit from counseling to learn new coping skills and many of us need medication to help us in the interim. I suffered with crippling anxiety (which manifested as extreme insomnia) at an earlier point in my life when I was maintaining a significant weight loss.  It was a very difficult time and my heart goes out to you. I hope you find some people who can help you. Hugs. 

I have been working with my therapist for just under 4 years and been taking antidepressants for a while. I had them readjusted this past fall. I can't get a doc's appt. because I can't take time off from school as I can't afford to miss any more days. This year is just a train wreck. I definitely know I am not alone though. Thanks for your kind words!

I am only a newly sleeved one but I would like to just send you a big hug. 

Remember it can take up to years for some of us to mentally catch up with where our body has taken us. It's so easy to feel defeated when you see the scale go in the opposite direction, but don't forget, no matter what life hands you, your sleeve is still there and ready to work for you.

And you're right 3 lbs! It's nothing in the grand scheme of things and most likely lady issue related lol 

Big seriously big big hugs. I have been at that place of numbness before. Hang in there!

Teachernikki, I would give your doctor a call and maybe s/he can prescribe something over the phone so you don't have to go in for an appointment. I know my doc has said that I can call him if I ever am struggling. What he put me on is Abilify, which helps boost the antidepressants you are already on. It worked wonders for me. I would strongly suggest you ask about it.

Ann

I've been on depression meds  for many years, and I don't resist that cause I know I need them. Better living through chemicals!  Yea!  Hope you can level out soon. ((Hugs))!