Terrified

Tomorrow is finally the day that I've been waiting for: I'm getting sleeved. But I'm absolutely terrified and freaking out now. Not so much because of the surgery itself (although that's a huge part of it) but because of the lifelong change. And I'm having second thoughts. I want to go eat a cheeseburger and mess up my 14 day preop diet. I'm sick of the isopure and the feelings of deprivation and anger at people around me who are eating, even healthy things like a salad with grilled chicken, which I haven't been able to have but crave.  Then I think, this is so sick that food seems to still have such a hold on me that I'm considering passing up this opportunity to stay obese. And that makes me want to push myself and go through with it. But, again, I'm still scared of the possible complications, the torture during recovery, the process of relearning how to eat and not being able to have a lot of my favorite foods anymore. I apologize for my rambling, but it's really hitting me right now. And I have to talk myself into going through with it tomorrow.  I know many of you talk about how worth it getting the sleeve was, and I'm hoping that it won't take me too long to feel that way too. 

Deep breaths!  We've all been there.  I cried on the table the morning of surgery.  Then they gave me ativan, nectar of the gods.   Recovery is challenging (and I know I'm not qualified to give a long term outlook), but I will tell you I honestly feel really, really good and normal at just 2 weeks out.  Nothing about this is easy, but neither is not doing it.  

Best of luck.  Do you have a good support system?

Yeah, I'm hoping they give me Ativan. If I'm already freaking out like this, I can only imagine how I will feel tomorrow when I'm there. Thanks for your support and encouragement. My support system is okay. My mom is the person I'm closest with and who will be taking care of me, and she's not exactly calm herself right now. She's also judgemental at times, and she's been negative and blamed me for "ending up in this situation."  Which is true, but it's not supportive to be blamed for my mistakes when I'm trying to fix them, it only brings me down. I have a few friends and coworkers who have offered their support and encouragement so I am trying to soak up their positivity and support. 

Ugh, I love my mom very much but she can also be judgmental and critical.  It doesnt matter what brought you here, what matters is where you go from here.  This board is nice for support from people who've gone through itor are going through it.  I'll be thinking of you tomorrow--good luck!  My surgeon always calmed me (I was anxious in all my appointments, and pretty much in life, every day) by telling me that statistically surgery was safer than driving to the hospital.  I don't know if that's accurate but it worked. :)

I had all of the same feelings in the days leading up to my surgery. Just remind yourself that you will have those favorite foods again, although in smaller portions. You just have to get through the post op diet phase. Some things might not agree with you or you might want to avoid trigger foods, bit technically nothing is off limits entirely, at least according to my dietician. Also, it helped me to remember that I pigged out for 38 years! I'm not deprived! I am only 6 days pots op and it is hard watching my family eat foods when I am on these silly liquids. I either leave the room or try to ignore it. Again, this is only temporary.

You can do this. You made up your mind about the surgery for good reason. Try to focus on the positive. And the post op isn't torture by any means. It is way better than I was expecting.

Good luck tomorrow. 

Thank you for the encouragement!  That part about pigging out for so many years definitely helps to think about it differently. 

For me, it was a little scary, but i would do it again in a heartbeat.  It was so worth it! And later on you will be able to eat all foods in moderation.  It's a new beginning and change is scary, but you can do it!

Thank you, I appreciate your support!

Hello

It's a natural feeling when it comes to making life changes. Don't be scared you'll do fine. Just keep telling yourself this is for you. A new start at a healthy life. I personally didn't have surgery yet. Just going for my counseltation in two weeks and hoping surgery not long after. I'm nervous as well because I'm afraid to fail. But that would be me who needs to work the tool I'm given. Good luck with your surgery   

Good luck to you on your journey!  Just getting to the consultation is difficult too and the biggest step.  And thank you for encouragement!  I'm afraid to fail too, but figure it'll be slower with the sleeve and I could catch myself before it gets too bad and get back on track.