What support really is and what being supporive isn't
I read this forum everyday and I can honestly say I rarely see people being unsupportive, I see lots of whiners and well why can't I's, but very few cases of actual attacking. I've always looked at these forums as a place to exchange information rather than for support, that needs to come from people who are close to you not strangers on an internet forum. All we can do is like Ruggie said share our information and hope it helps others. We aren't here to give permission to eat something or not to, we can share what we did and what worked or didn't for us but we aren't your mommy you are all adults who can make your own choices, just be prepared to be told it was a bad choice if it was. If you want to be pampered or coddled the internet probably isn't for you.
I can honestly say that if it weren't for this website I would still be working my way to goal and my guess, a good twenty to thirty pounds from goal. Its listening to the stories and the path that others followed that gave me the information to try for myself when the plan that I was on (from my Dr) was resulting in a very slow loss. I turned up the militancy, went "hardcore" as Frisco calls it and have lost more this 2nd half of the journey than I did during the 1st half. We are all adults, we can choose to take the information from others or leave it. The only thing that really gets me is that the longer you are on here the more tired you get of the innumerable posts about stalls - that is one topic that should be pinned to the main page
Once again I am so thankful for Ruggie and other vets who tell. it. like. it. is.
One thing I'm trying to train myself to do is look at posters' surgery dates -- if viewable -- to guess if they're in the wild-emotion postop period, which might account for some of the stuff we see 'round here. Again, I credit a vet for alluding to that in the first place a while ago.
5'8" HRW 357 on 7/09/12 SW 339 >196 8/26/13 (surgeon's goal) TWL 193 CW 164
*:•-:¦:-•:*1st pers. goal 178 on 10/16/13; ultimate goal 164 on 12/13/13*:•-:¦:-•:*
I really appreciated this post Ruggie and Elina7 as well. I am new to the site and have been trying to read and read so I can ask questions that are not so repetitive. Someone mentioned a few weeks ago that they thought a lot of people were using this site as a chat room, meaning getting real time responses right away as opposed to a message board where you come for information and answers but are not relying on people's wisdom, hanging on waiting for an answer. Hope that made sense. I like the honesty and I consider myself an over sensitive person but feel you are completely right about addressing the behavior, not the person. I personally feel like you should ( not you personally but people as a whole) be responsible for what you put out there. If you ate fried chocolate cake and posted on this website, you should expect at the very least someone to call you on it , hence the name "obesity help". Do people understand you could have a setback, yes, is it ok that you had one, no. There is a difference and I am really glad you pointed it out in such a respectful and considerate way. I am learning a lot here and my 3 month countdown to getting sleeved has begun. Also, in fairness, I have also seen some very rude verbally abusive posts by people so I understand that as well, but I think for the most part that is few and far in between. I look forward to reading more , you are a great writer, do you do it as a profession? You should consider writing a book.
Thanks again for taking the time to write and repost
Lisa
"Whether you believe you can or you can't ....you are right! " by Henry Ford
