Off-Topic: Help me get married
1a. No, it is rude for people to expect to be allowed to bring whomever they wish. Leaving the children's names off of the invitation envelope is supposed to signal to people they are not welcome. We had an adult-only wedding and did it by word of mouth and the invitation addressing. For those in our families we knew would not comply, we hired a teenager and announced that all the kids were welcome to accompany this person upstairs for pizza and games and made sure they all went as we walked around to collect them and escorted them out of our reception venue.
I want people to be unencumbered from kids, and have the ability to relax and drink and party. -EXACTLY!
2. Do weddings have to be on the weekend? No. In fact, you'll probably get more of what you desire, childless, intimate small wedding if you do it on Thursday.
3. Invitations should be mailed 3 months in advance and even earlier for any overseas guests. You may choose to send a save-the-date card as early as you wish. Our save the date cards went out 12 months in advance. We were a little insane.
4. Only things missing are rings, attire, table arrangements, and cake (or not!).
5. Weddings are as individual as the people in them. If you do Thursday evening you can have rehearsal that morning if out of towners are in your party or standing up for you as witnesses. Otherwise, it's typically done the night before with a dinner as well. So much food! I think people would expect some sort of reception. The time of day and invite wording should indicate to them if you are having dinner or appetizers. You can choose to plan optional activities for people but I've found only a handful (out of 350) took advantage. You will want to arrange a block of rooms for out of town guests to stay near by and potentially transportation for any close friends/family to/from airports and hotels. A little insert card can be sent with your invitation or separately explaining the details and allow them to make their own reservations. It's a nice touch to have a little bag with some of your local favorites and another card with things to do presented to people as they check-in.
I should be doing this for a living and missed my calling.
Sarah 5'3" VSG 9/27/12 KC Bariatric Center. Find me on MFP! Sarah829522.
I had my wedding at a bowling alley we met bowling years ago ( neither of us is a big bowler though) . He wore a bowling shirt and we both wore bowling shoes . We catered it ourselves ( perogies, meatballs, rye bread , cold cuts , cheese, salads etc . We invited who we wanted. Had an open bar ( that was important to me - I didn't want people to pay for drinks ) we bowled after , walked down the aisle to " I'm yours " by Jason mraz. We didn't do a wedding cake . No first dance , no speeches . It was funny ... I got the feeling people thought it was going to be tacky but almost everyone LOVED it . Very casual and fun . Kids running around . Totally us . We gave away socks as a wedding favor. Did a funny program letting people k ow what to expect . We had people sign bowling pins instead of guest books . Check out my pics to see how it looked. I found offbeatbride .com awesome. I had my sister in law design the invites and we used puns like " three holey matrimony
HW 295 lbs,CW 195, nuts goal-210, my goal 175 surgery date April 3 in Tijuana with Dr Ponce De Leon
Definitely not rude to ask or want an adult only wedding. When I married my ex-husband, we knew that we could either have an adult-only reception, or we could have all our family bring all the kids and as much as I love children, we just didn't want them all there. We wanted to let loose, have fun, and there was lots of alcohol available.
Weddings don't have to be just on the weekends. But, some people may not be able to attend due to work. But, it's much more economical to have it during the week.
Last year one of my girlfriends got married. She mailed her save-the-date cards around February and her wedding was in June.
All you need for your wedding is whatever your heart desires. My first wedding was a total black tie affair; very formal, very elaborate, very expensive. When I got married the second time, it was me, my husband, my best friend and our officiant. We got married in our flip flops and tank tops in a park :)
Congratulations on your wedding!!
No. It's your wedding people who know you will understand.
Do weddings have to be on the weekend?
No. The people *****ally matter will make a point of bring there no matter what. The rest of them - screw it!
How far in advance do you have to do the save-the-date thingy?
as soon as the venue is booked
What do I need for a minimum, small wedding?
The grooms, the desire to marry and if possible a marriage license (i cant remember is CA is currently legal)
Finally... what do people typically do? should there be a reception? When?
People typically go to weddings to eat and drink so a reception immediately following the ceremony is typical
Some activities to do the following day?
You need to plan to enjoy time with husband but you can give your guests a list of activities in the area.
Congrats!
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Surgery 10/15/12 - HW-263lbs GW-150lbs CW- 170.8
Back in the stone age when I got married they still did reception lines, where the whole wedding party stands there and greets everyone that comes to the wedding and or reception. I said oh no I am not standing there in heels to say howdy to over a hundred people. My mom was disappointed and I reminded here she had a walker did SHE want to stand there that long? Yeah that's what I thought. So hubby and I just visited each table said hi and thanks and we could sit and visit if we wanted.
My best advice tho is don't expect perfection cause it ain't gonna happen! All went well with mine until it was kiss the bride time at the end. Hubby gently lifted my veil, and gave me a sweet kiss, then.... put the veil back over my face! It's supposed to be left back but nobody told him, anyway that was the high light of the wedding everyone laughed and still remember him covering my face back up. Just relax and enjoy, it's your day!
I'm coming in really late on this, and you've already received many, many good answers. I'll just advise you and your dearest to have the wedding that you want, that fits your style, and that you will remember together forever. Make it as fancy or as simple as you like, because it's YOUR ceremony.
People usually dance and talk at receptions and make their own fun, so don't sweat that. You should plan on some type of music, though.
It's all right to reserve the wedding and reception for adults only. If for some reason that changes, you could hire someone (someoneS if you end up with a number of children there) to keep them happy and busy with crafts or movies and such in a close-but-separate area at your venue.
I have to agree completely with the suggestion of hiring a coordinator to make sure things are happening when and where they should, so that you and your intended can relax and enjoy your day. I didn't have a coordinator, ended up doing the vast majority of planning and prep myself, and was miserable. Please don't make that mistake. :)
Love is a beautiful thing. Have the day that you want and reflect that love to your family and friends through your happiness. ;)
5'8" HRW 357 on 7/09/12 SW 339 >196 8/26/13 (surgeon's goal) TWL 193 CW 164
*:•-:¦:-•:*1st pers. goal 178 on 10/16/13; ultimate goal 164 on 12/13/13*:•-:¦:-•:*
