My greatest fear..

 I have started my journey to surgery and for the most part I am very positive and excited about the process.  I've read blogs, studies, watched videos and followed so many of everyone's threads on this forum.  I know the odds of getting a leak is extremely low and very rare but that is all I can seem to focus on at this point.  I'm afraid that I would get the surgery and be living in constant fear and anxiety, as though I have a time bomb in my abdomen.

I do have anxiety issues and take celexa which helps tremendously.  I'm trying not to obsess over negative thinking and know beyond a doubt this is what I want.

How do I get past this fear?

Talk to your doctor about his plan to identify and treat leaks. I never really thought about it until after I had surgery and read about people having leaks (its pretty rare). Find out if he does a leak test/upper GI in the hospital immediately post op (or some even do it in the OR) to see if there are any leaks. Talk to him about the signs/warnings of a leak. And then find out how he will fix it. Maybe you'll feel a little better if you are prepared and know exactly what to look for? I know I was anxious about every little twitch and pain right after surgery because I had no idea what the signs of a leak were.

 Thanks for the reply!

You are right, knowledge is key.  I just tend to overly obsess, generally on the negative.

I don't have a surgeon or date yet, I live in Canada and I'm going through a program provided through the provincial health care.  I met with the dietician and psychologist yesterday and have probably several months of apps before I get a surgeon.  I do see the internist in a couple weeks and I will be going in with a lot of questions for sure!

I agree with Alison, the surgeon should help get you through this.  Leaks are rare, and are usually discovered pretty soon after surgery.  Eventually, you are healed up and leaks aren't an issue anymore (at least this is my understanding).  If you *have* a leak, they are treatable, though very unpleasant.  I finally made my peace with the complications issue by reminding myself of all the complications of obesity that I seemed perfectly willing to accept if I didn't have surgery.

 Thank you so much.

I also remind myself the benefits of surgery and a healthy body vs the dangers of living with obesity. 
You are both right in that I'll need to discuss my fears with the doctors and weigh the pros and cons.

powerful statement....Ty

 Move past this fear the way you would any other - with education and talking through it.  Alison is right on when she says talk to your doctor.  Ask him what his complication rates are, he should be able to tell you.  Explain about your anxiety disorder.  He will understand.

Also, talk about this in your support groups.  I remember one person in my preo-op days telling me that leaks are so rare that if you heard of someone having one IRL, then statistically you couldn't get one.  That was pretty accurate.

Leaks do happen, but the good surgeons are always on the lookout for the first sign of them.  Also, leaks are only a concern for about the first three months.  After that point the staple and suture line has scarred over and it is now stronger than the original stomach tissue.  You don't have a time-bomb in your abdomen.  You do have a woulnd that needs time to heal - and if you take care of it and yourself for those first three months you will be just fine.

 See Rob, that was exactly what I was wondering.  Is your stomach wound area as strong as it was previously?  That makes me feel a lot better!  In my mind I am imagining a weak area along the incision line that is going rip open.  There is no basis to my fear other then my worst case scenario thinking, which I am working on lol.  

Im sure I will be able to perform surgery myself by the time I finish researching everything to death.  Knowledge is key, but can also be a curse!