How have your Marriage ( or dating) relationships changed since WLS ?

I read this question on another WLS goup. The answers were positive for the most part. So I decided to do a bit of research  .

 In an article from Health Central in 2011 they stated :  Keep in mind this may just be research from their part.  

"The simple fact remains that the divorce rate following bariatric surgery is high. However, if the person was overweight or obese when the relationship or marriage began, the chances of that relationship or marriage ending within two years after the surgery is 80 to 85 percent."

 

Wow, 80 to 85% ?!    I'd like to hear all of your stories .  I for one haven't started mine yet. I decided to have my surgery done while my husband was away for the year. So when he comes back early next year I'll be a brand new woman. From looks, to habits and maybe even personality.  He's real fit and lean. A Marine , big into health. My weight has been a constant problem in our marriage. So I have high hopes .    We were chatting on FB yesterday, he says ( jokingly)   "Well guess we're going to have to find something else to fight about ! "  Real funny .  I can think of one fight though , how much money I'll spend on

clothes !!! 

 

So let's hear from all of you. For good or bad , how have your relationships change. Have any advise for the newbie to WLS ? What would you do differently know , if anything. 

 

 

The statistics are high.  I had surgery in 2005 and divorced in 2011.  WLS may have contributed to it some (I have more self-confidence and don't take BS anymore) but the major cause was he was an alcoholic and had NO goals where I am always looking to improve and grow. 

If your marriage is strong it'll usually survive, if there are problems before WLS is not going to fix those problems.  Be sure to keep an open communication between yourselves and consider marriage counseling if needed.

It is probably good that he will be away while you are going through the emotional roller coaster that hits earlly on. I was a very cranky person for about six months after surgery and I just knew it was all my husbands fault. I got over that eventually (I know my husband was glad). :)

I question that statistic.  I'd like to see where it came from.

I was in a long term relationship when I had WLS.  We'd been together for about five years.  Three and a half years later, the relationship ended, for reasons that had nothing whatsoever to do with my weight loss or surgery.

I put some links below you can look at.   None of the articles I've read have said where they found the statistics. but I've found them from blogs, to medical sites . A guy named Dr. Pilcher is the one stating the statistics. 

When I had WLS, we had been married for 24 years, together for 32.  It's now been over 28 years and the only real difference is that before I use to watch my family having fun on the sidelines and now I join in.  If your marriage is strong and you keep the lines of communication open, you will be fine.

I'm preop but my husband is military and I gained weight after we were married. After huge life changes, couples either have to change with it and grow together or not change and grow apart. My marriage went through several periods of changes: deployments, birth of children, big moves and all that comes with it. We've made it through and stronger. I think that WLS will change the dynamic of the marriage but good or bad is up to the values you all share!

My husbands military too . But I've gained a lot of weight since being married.   There's a military cartoon that makes fun of fat spouses. He says to me one time that he's worked to long and to hard to be disrespected because of how I look .  I have it all on my personal page here on OH .   It's been hard.  I hate that I'm in that statistic of the fat military wives.  each deployment I gained a little bit more, and with each kid. Then whens' he's home I was depressed and would sneak eat . 

Sarah:

I'm sorry your husband has said that to you. On my opinion, that's abusive. My husband and I have been together for 16 of his 19 year career and it he has never once been "disrespected" because of who I am. Ridiculous.

I worked long and hard to get over the insecurities that caused me to diet to the point of gaining a bunch of weight. My husband has been nothing but kind, gentle, and supportive. For goodness sake, I am the mother of his children, I would expect no less respect from the man I share my life with. You deserve more respect from your husband regardless of your weight.

Excuse the hell out of me but if my husband ever said something like that to me he wouldnt be my husband anymore! My husband is ex military and i am in law enforcement...so we understand the pressures of living these lifestyles, BUT! what he said to you shows disrespect and frankly a lack of loyalty to you, the mother of his children.