Mourning the Loss of Normal Eating

I'm 8 weeks out from my surgery.  Although I've lost almost 40 pounds from my top weight, and feel better physically, I'm also realizing I've been struggling with the loss of food.  Not just that I can't eat larger amounts, I knew that going in and accepted it.  But things don't taste the same, at times I can have 3 bites of something and be either uncomfortably full or nauseous, there's no telling how I'll react to what I'm eating.  I've been in a few social situations and felt so alienated.  I tried to just focus on my friends, but everyone eating and drinking and enjoying it all so much, I felt very much like an outsider.

I'm hoping people will assure me that it gets better as you continue losing weight and adjusting to this new way of eating.  I believe it will, but I also know others must be dealing with the loss of all the good things food provided (comfort, entertainment, enjoyment) vs. just wanting to get rid of all the bad things (overweight, being controlled and compulsive, etc.).

Thanks for listening.  It's good to have others to communicate with who can understand how much this changes your life.

DoryAnne - I am 8 wks out and feel about the same as you do.  I am anxious to hear the advise you receive.

congrats on the weight loss and its wonderful you are feeling so much better.

So we can be in it together!  It's good to know others are experiencing what we are, and it's great to hear people sharing how much better it gets.  It's no good looking better on the outside if we're not feeling good on the inside.  Good luck and hope we can stay in touch. 

BTW, how did you get at the right of your name your RNY surgery and the date before your doctor's name?  I'm still trying to work the details out on the website...not very tech savvy.

Wow, what a great note! You described perfectly how I felt and still feel on occasion.  However!  I am almost 6 months out and PTL have reached my first goal so have really been "mainstreaming" the last 2 weeks and eating "normal" food when we go out etc.  Ya know what?  I gravitate to the protein, and veggies and fruits and lol, if I have room left, I have a small  taste of dessert.  So yes, it gets so much better! 

I cannot eat much of the dense proteins yet.... like chicken, beef or especially pork... but small amounts like 1 or 2 ounces at a meal.

I am also learning what real hunger is, and that altho my plan calls for just 3 meals a day; I feel so much better  when I eat my small volume meals and then 2-3 small high protein or fruit snacks a day.  my blood sugars feel more normal otherwise, I feel stuffed and then feel my sugars are too low.  No, I am not diabetic.  I am just learning how my body functions and what it needs!

Had a burger king whopper junior today.  Ate the whole thing.... was starving within the hour.  No need to be doing that to myself in the future!

Yes, yes, yes, it gets so much better and it is so worth it.  I tried on clothes yesterday and was shocked at how small I looked!  My head is sorta catching up with the scales.  

OH and with all the eating of "normal" eating I have done ... that is when I lost the final 5 lbs!  Got on the scale today and I am now down  another lb!  Eating more and losing more at this stage!  

God bless and thank you for such a well written post!

Congrats on your achievements and thank you for sharing your experiences.  It is very helpful.

susan

You are so welcome.  You are just doing so great!  And I think the 8 week mark is hard ... at least it was for me.  I was so tired still and took naps daily. \

More energy than sense now, LOL.  

I enjoy your posts as well, Shadow and your attitude is so great.  I know you will succeed!  You just are doing all the right things to get there.

This forum is my life saver!  I have learned so much on here not to mention some great blogs for recipes.

Prayers for you on your journey.

God bless you!  I appreciate the time you took to respond and all the good advice and encouragement.  Did you think you were starving after the whopper jr. because it wasn't nutritious enough?  And what does "mainstreaming" mean....I would guess being like other "normal" eaters?  Still learning the lingo. 

Have a blessed day! 

Dory,

I think I was starving after the whopper cuz I ate the bun and the processed carbohydrates(the white ones) are such a trigger for me.  I abused them so much all of my life.  I am a donut, cookie, pie, pastry kind of gal.  So the white greasy bun sorta set me up for a trigger.  Had I just had the meat, it probably would not have been as bad.

By "mainstreaming"(my own lingo, btw for eating normal, lol) it means that although when we go out to eat now I do take the time to look at the menu for the place and read the nutritional stats so I know what good choices for me are, but I do not stress about it.  I know when we go to the barbque restaurant that to eat that sugar laden barbque sauce would be ok but that is a trigger for me and I would be starving all day long.  So yeah, I eat "normal" but find that a small taste of the "forbidden fruits" satisfy me whereas before I would have wanted the whole pie or the whole pan of fudge or the whole yada yada yada.  

You too,  will learn these things about your own body.  At  your stage when someone said that to me, I thought , oh no, not me... I will be stuck with protein shakes and bars for the rest of my life but at 5 months something just clicked in my body and head and I finally get it.  Portion control and it is not a punishment.  I am truly satisfied and sometimes even "stuffed" with my half cup of food at a time.  If I am not, I set up a good healthy snack for 2 hrs later, protein satisfies me longer so usually that is what I choose.  Learning to be normal for me means about 98% of the time I eat according to plan and when it is a special occasion like going out to eat or the church potlucks or something.. well , I eat a taste of whatever I want then cuz I do not eat like that everyday and then I do not feel deprived. I heard someone say that Christmas Day is a holiDAY not a holiMONTH and since I had my surgery right before Christmas that really resonated with me.  So far this is working for me, LOL. 

Honestly, when we got home I was CRAVING protein so I went to the freezer and got my little frozen banana slices and put them in the food processor and added my protein powder, SF syrup, benefiber and a tad of milk and some pb2 and yummy and that was over 4 hrs ago and I got a burst of energy and cleaned the stainless steel appliances, mopped the floor and cleaned the bathrooms, LOL.  

YOU too will really get the hang of it.  You are at tough point but it will pass and the discipline and hard work now is really, really going to pay off!  

You have a blessed day too.  I am blessed beyond belief, PTL. 

Thanks for all the tips and encouragement.  I really appreciate them and the time you took to respond again.  I too, am a sugar junkie.  Although BBQ sauce and things like that don't set me off.  It's the real deal...cookies, cakes, ice cream and chocolate.  So I'm committed to not eating those things any more.  I'm praying that if I eat my protein first, then vegetables or fruit, and if iI then have a small amount of carbs (potato, flatbread, etc.), I hope I'll be fine.  Staying away from the sugars, and having "portion control" because of my pouch, plus exercise, which I can now do more easily, I'm hoping that I'll be able to maintain my weight loss.

Hugs to you!