Need opinions...Have I given dieting a fair shot?

I am in the 6 month dieting stage required by my insurance prior to them approving the surgery.  In my opinion, I've given dieting a fair enough shot and have gotten to my last straw.  When I diet, I've always lost but evidentally gotten bored with the diet and slow weight loss and gone back to my old eating habits.  I then would gain back all the weight I lost plus some. 
My loved one thinks I've never given dieting a true chance and fears that I will fail at the wls just as I have every diet.  I think if I have the extra help to lose the weight I may be able to succeed because I'll have put all this work into the weight loss and will see dramatic results and not want to go back to the way I was.  Plus, I've seen, on this site, that I would probably get sick if I eat stuff that's not good for me.  I think that would help me.  I need something that will make me seriously think twice before I eat something.
Thoughts, feelings, opinions, experiences, please

Weight loss surgery gives you a shot at losing your excess weight - and a window of 18 months to 2 years to learn how to live and eat as a normal size (as opposed to a morbidly obese person).

If you do not fully utilise this opportunity, it is possible to fail.  The surgery is not a get out of dieting free card - you will forever have to be responsible for what goes into your mouth.   Hopefully you will take your decision seriously, lose all your weight and change your lifestyle - FOR LIFE!

Eat a protein first diet
Exercise regularly
Never drink with meals or for 30 minutes after
Take your vitamins
Have labs done to check your vitamin/mineral levels

If you are unable to do the above for the rest of your life, then WLS may not be for you - if you feel you are able to make this commitment for your health, then come join us!

I am like you, I have lost and regained.  My surgery in in two days but I just know that I need the help and a tool to reach my goals.  search you heart and follow it.  Good luck

It's very unlikely that you'll get sick every time you eat something that's not good for you.  About 30% of people get sick if they eat a lot of sugar after RNY.  The rest can eat a lot of sugar with no problem.  Some people get sick if they eat a lot of fat.  Others don't.  Most people can tolerate at least small amounts of most foods.

I think WLS is a great tool and it does help many people.  Only about 5% of people that lose large amounts of weight by dieting are actually able to keep it off, so changes are, you would just continue to gain weight back if you lose weight by dieting again.  Diets don't work for most people.  Numerous studies have shown that.  So if you've tried diets in the past and they didn't work for you, you're normal.

I just think it's important to have realistic expectations for what RNY will and will not do for you.  It WILL help you eat smaller portions because your pouch won't hold a lot.  It probably will NOT force you to make good food choices, though.  You'll have to do that yourself.

In addition to what the others have already said, you need to sure sure that you are fully committed to PERMANENTLY changing the way you eat because, just as with dieting without the surgery, if you get bored (and trust me, early out you will get bored with your limited diet) and go back to eating what you did pre-op, your weight loss will suffer.  If you get complacent about controlling what you eat after you have lost the weight (and the caloric malabsorption) and are in maintenance, the result will be regain.  

Only 30% of people dump, which means that most people do NOT get sick if they make a bad food choice, so you shouldn't count on surgery forcing you to make good food choices. 

Your chances at losing the weight and keeping it off are significantly higher if you have weight loss surgery than if you don't, but you have to be willing to make permanent changes and have to understand that it is not magic (and if just not wanting to go back to the way you were before you lost the weight does not translate into behavioral changes as far as food choices and physical activity, there is no guarantee that you will not gain much of the weight back).  

I wouldn't spend much time there, but it might help to just take a quick glance through some of the posts on the revision forum to see that people DO regain after RNY (and frequently look to another surgery to help them again).

lora

I think one of the biggest misconceptions I had about WLS was that I would never have to diet again.  For me anyway, that was not true.  I proved it to myself my regaining almost all the weight I lost.  If I continued to eat the way I always did I would fail any WLS out there, and I did.  Of course people have different definitions of the word diet.  For me, a diet is a way of eating that promotes weight loss and enables me to keep the weight off.  That may not be the true definition or even anyone else's definition but that is how I see it.  Kind of all or nothing mentality.  That is me.  I rarely do things important to me half way.  I am either eating everything I want or limiting myself in what I allow myself to eat. What I found for me is that WLS is really a tool.  It doesn't eliminate the need for dieting, it makes it easier to stick with a way of eating that can help me maintain a normal weight.  Period.  I still need to do my part and make good choices and with the reduction in hunger and the ability to feel satisfied with less food it is more doable then it was prior to my WLS. I have lost at least 100 pounds before so many times I can't count.  I was pretty good at eating in a healthy manner at least for some amount of time.  But there always came a time that I decided that I could eat certain things in moderation.  I always failed at this experiment sooner or later.  I would be able to practice moderation for a little while, which of course made me feel even more powerful, but ultimately I was just opening the door to going back to eating the way I did when I was morbidly obese. I know there are statistics out there that say a person has about a 5% chance of losing a significant amount of weight and keeping it off for at least 5 years.  Don't quote me on the numbers but it's something like that.  There are other statistics out there that give the success rate of WLS something like 50% of people keeping off at least 50% of the excess weight for an extended period of time.  That may not look like much but it's a lot better then 5%.  If I had cancer and I was given a 5% chance of living for 5 more years and given the option of undergoing treatment that raises my odds up to 50% chance, while not ideal it is a damn site better the 5%.  That is how I look at it.  I have just increased my odds of not being morbidly obese in 5 years.  No guarantee but a little help to tip the numbers in my favor.

 You have gotten excellent replies with great information.
I would point out that this is not your loved ones decision. This is yours and only yours. 
You need to think about what you want and what YOUR goals are.
Deb T.
p.s..about 95% of diets fail. 

 I understand and can relate to how you are viewing WLS. But....I see this as being on a permanent diet. In order for me to be in control of my eating even after WLS I am constantly dieting. For example, after I reached my goal I went on weigh****chers. It just helps me keep track and manage what I eat. I have also been on a vegetarian diet, paleo, and Atkins all post op. 
yes, we can get sick still from certain foods...but for me sometings I could eat a bunch of and not get sick. Don't count on WLS to MAKE you lose weight. Because trust me, this will be the hardest lifelong diet you have ever been on. It takes work. All that being said, you can do it!! I am a big emotional eater and had to get lots of support from counselors, psychiatrists, nutritionists. But if I can do it,you can too!

I don't look at it as a permanent diet. If I did then i'd fail for sure. If something i'm not allowed to eat comes to mind then i'll want it even more. It drives me crazy until I finally cave in and eat too much.

I have learned it all about moderation and staying away from my trigger foods. Which for me is popcorn and chips. I love the salty crunchy things.

So substitution has been my goal. When i crave popcorn I get sunflower seeds and/or almonds. Even cashews sometimes for variety.

When I crave chips I make zucchini chips in my dehydrater or else I make some flax meal crackers. There are quite a few cracker recipes available online made out of things like almond meal, flax, coconut flour, etc.

When I want cake I make a muffin in a minute. I can make them any flavor I can dream of. My favorite is a lemon blueberry cake.

If I'm craving candy I will eat a few pieces of the sugar free candy. Especially if I'm craving chocolate.

I do dump on too much sugar, unfortunately it has to be a LOT of sugar. I can and have eaten a small bag of m and m's. I avoid the grocery store as much as possible so I am not tempted by the candy aisle and the chip aisle....lol.

I dieted off and on all my life. Dieted myself up to four hundred and fifty pounds. I was miserable. My surgeon told me i'd have to get below four hundred before he'd do the surgery. So I started dieting again. Once I lost enough to get RNY, I felt like I could just keep dieting instead of having surgery. Then my son, who was home from the Navy, said "Mom if you keep dieting you will end up regaining like you always have. Please get the surgery. We want you around as long as possible." That brought tears to my eyes. I called the surgeon the next day and scheduled an appt and got my surgery date.

Best thing I ever did, other than my sons...lol. I'm not a size two and never will be. I am happy with my weight tho. My quality of life is so much better.

Good luck on making your decision.

This is the fear.... This is the reason why you see hundreds of posts saying "Im 3 weeks out and have only lost 22 lbs am I finished loosing?" 

MOST of us have tried and failed every diet available.... and everyone is afraid of failing WLS.  Its most of our history afterall... We tell   our friends and family we loose 20, 40, 50 lbs people start to say something and then we go right back up. 

This surgery IS a tool.  It helps manage hunger, it helps limit how much you can eat and for a while it mal absorbs cals.  Here is the tricky part... You have to work the tool.  Its not a sure thing... if you test the waters, try that piece of cake, eat that white pasta etc you will fail.... BUT if you follow the rules and do what needs to be done.... YOU have nowhere to go but sucess...

Your family members and loved ones are afraid for you.... it is NORMAL!  You need to arm yourself with the facts.  Dispell their fears.... Remind them that you have a team of drs, social workers, psychologists, dietitions etc who will work with your before and after your surgery.

I have faith that you will do GREAT!