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Good morning
Those of you who've had WLS and have transformed into the new you... do you find that you get the cold shoulder from other family members who are obese and have not gone thru the surgery? Do you find they treat you differently when you have get-togethers? A large majority of my family members are overweight-obese. I find now that when i'm at social events that they dont tend to sit and chit-chat at the same table as me anymore. My personality hasnt changed... just my body. They seem to stagger into a different location. Are others finding the same things happening or do I just need to shower more?
Had GBP May , 2009. 350lbs - 178lbs in 14 months which is my current weight for the last 2+ years.
Those of you who've had WLS and have transformed into the new you... do you find that you get the cold shoulder from other family members who are obese and have not gone thru the surgery? Do you find they treat you differently when you have get-togethers? A large majority of my family members are overweight-obese. I find now that when i'm at social events that they dont tend to sit and chit-chat at the same table as me anymore. My personality hasnt changed... just my body. They seem to stagger into a different location. Are others finding the same things happening or do I just need to shower more?
Had GBP May , 2009. 350lbs - 178lbs in 14 months which is my current weight for the last 2+ years.
Not exactly-but I know what you mean. I don't see my family very often, but several of my friends are obese. I find that they act differently-like we don't belong to the same club anymore. For instance, I don't get invited to go shopping anymore because they shop in the plus department and I can shop in the whole store. Like you, my personality hasn't changed, but my lifestyle has....and the things I do now, they can't relate to. For instance, if I'm excited about an upcoming 5k or going ziplining or something-they don't get it.
Do you find that you gravitate to your more active, "normal sized" friends/relatives? I know I do, especially 3+ years out.
Also, there is probably a certain jealousy/resentment that you "changed" and they haven't.
Do you find that you gravitate to your more active, "normal sized" friends/relatives? I know I do, especially 3+ years out.
Also, there is probably a certain jealousy/resentment that you "changed" and they haven't.
(deactivated member)
on 7/27/12 1:04 am
on 7/27/12 1:04 am
Most of the people in my life are supportive of my WLS and dont treat me any differently. However there was a person at a family event on my boyfriend's site earlier this summer who was pressuring me to eat more food before I told him I had surgery and I was a bit annoyed he didn't just take me at my word when I said I was full. He is a large man and had a large plate of food and I suspect he felt threatened in some way since I had my little plate of food.
Also there is a woman at work who used to talk to me omn a regular basis. She no longer does. She is a very negative person who engaged in a lot of fat talk and bashed herself for not having self discipline and she knoiws I had the surgery and doesn't talk to me any more. She said a few times since I had it that she wishes she could have it but she isn't disciploined enough to take vitamins every day like I do and would rather remain heavy than give up so much food. I still greet her when I see her and don't consider myself better than her for having the surgery but she seems uncomfortable with me now. But that is her issue not mine.
RElationships with some people definitely change but hopefully for the better in most cases. I figure anyone who gives me the cold shoulder is not someone I should worry about since they don't understand my personal struggle with weight and my need for having this surgery. Their giving me the cold shoulder says more about their insecurities than mine and its a choice I can't change.
Best of luck to you!
Also there is a woman at work who used to talk to me omn a regular basis. She no longer does. She is a very negative person who engaged in a lot of fat talk and bashed herself for not having self discipline and she knoiws I had the surgery and doesn't talk to me any more. She said a few times since I had it that she wishes she could have it but she isn't disciploined enough to take vitamins every day like I do and would rather remain heavy than give up so much food. I still greet her when I see her and don't consider myself better than her for having the surgery but she seems uncomfortable with me now. But that is her issue not mine.
RElationships with some people definitely change but hopefully for the better in most cases. I figure anyone who gives me the cold shoulder is not someone I should worry about since they don't understand my personal struggle with weight and my need for having this surgery. Their giving me the cold shoulder says more about their insecurities than mine and its a choice I can't change.
Best of luck to you!
Kim... I do hang with the skinny people now. Only because ive been shun from the "fat group" Most of the obese friends and family at gatherings just sit there at the table with plates of food and cookies and just talk where I tend to get up and walk away from the table very early... especially at weddings. I'm the first one to go stretch my legs after a wedding. If youve ever been to an Italian wedding you'll know thats hard to do.
When i was obese I knew what they were going thru so I understand how they feel.
When i was obese I knew what they were going thru so I understand how they feel.
There are more issues for fat Vs fit people becise the looks or just the diet.
In the past I could eat. Take a break and eat some more.
Post op RNY - I eat as much I need to. Then sitting at a table looking at food does not appeal to me. Soemtiems - that even may make me feel ill. I have to get up and keep moving.
Also - after I lost the weight - I can't sit for a long time - specially on a chair or any harder surface
Even sitting on a couch - I need to get up and move every 30 min to or an hour. When I was MO - sitting was OK, moving around, squeezing between chairs or people - not so much.
In the past I could eat. Take a break and eat some more.
Post op RNY - I eat as much I need to. Then sitting at a table looking at food does not appeal to me. Soemtiems - that even may make me feel ill. I have to get up and keep moving.
Also - after I lost the weight - I can't sit for a long time - specially on a chair or any harder surface
Even sitting on a couch - I need to get up and move every 30 min to or an hour. When I was MO - sitting was OK, moving around, squeezing between chairs or people - not so much.
Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG
"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"
"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."
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