OT XP: Sex appeal...is it something you have or something you do?

Hi guys!! I was at a party Saturday night where one of the husband's of a gal that was there spent just a little too much time staring at me, trying to ply me with drinks, and generally just making over me. A mutual female friend approached me and asked if I was aware he was gawking, etc. I told her I saw it but didn't really know what to do other than keep my distance as politely as I could. I was really concerned his wife would be upset so I tried to keep my distance. The next day that same friend called me and we got into a discussion about sex appeal. She said, "You ooze sex. It's your eyes, your mouth, the way you posture your body." I said I was completely unaware of what she was talking about. She explained that she didn't think it was something I did, but that sex appeal is something that I have. It probably comes as no surprise that I am completely floored to hear this from her. Me? Ooze sex? Seriously? WTF? It's almost laughable to me.

This leads me to my question: Do you think that sex appeal is something you have naturally or is it something you try to do? Or do you think it can be some of both?

I'd hate to think I am unknowingly putting out some sort of vibe that is perceived as some sort of come on, least of all in the presence of someone's wife!!

So do tell--what do you think?

Thanks!

Denise

 Hmmmmm..... good question! In a similar vein, I recently got accused of having alot of self-confidence by my hubby. I say accused, because that's pretty far from what I ACTUALLY feel about myself, so the disconnect alarms me. 
To give off a vibe or aura of what you're not aware of or not intending to give off -  well, at least you're aware of others' opinions now. It sounds like you really handled the specific situation very well - maybe better than most would have on the spot!
For so long, I was used to not being perceived as sexy, so I wonder if now that the exterior matches the interior, that I might be giving it off on the level of over-kill! Not everyone may feel this way, but if you spend most of your life driving around with a parking break on, you're used to putting the accelerator pedel to the floor (if that makes any sense).

First, I have to say you are absolutely beautiful! You handled yourself well in in awkward situation too.
A male friend of mine told me that once I seemed to be comfortable in my own skin and really did not 'care' what people thought of my appearance anymore that I had an aura about me. Huh???
He said it was like a magnetism kind of thing that men and even some women were drawn to, that he had observed it on many occasions.  So it wasn't a conscious thing that I was doing, it just is the way I am now I guess.  He jokingly refers to me as catnip when we all go out to a club.

Embrace it lovely lady!

its something of both...i think it comes from being confident in your self ..having confidence.. i mean seriously.. no one really likes someone that is trying to drawn attention to them self, that talks loud and is a show off.. we tend to find other peole sexy you have a mysterious aura around them.. and they drawn us..annd  the less atteinton they pay us the more drawn we are.. what i notice about men that i belive have sex appeal is that they are friendly to me just like to the hottes girl at the same level.. they dont over do anything it doesnt matter if they are prettier then me..

so here are what i think makes any person have sex appeal

1. confidence(also the way you carry your self)
2. friendly at the same level to every one (pretty, ugly, tall, short, fat, or thin)
3.being mysterious
4.not over doing it(talking to loud, laughing to hard, being to over friendly)
5.not showing off(i have an owsome car and a house blah blah blah)
6. caring about family and friends(calling to see how a friend of family is doing just because)


to me this projects sex appeal and i find it sexy in a man you could be the uglyiest man alive but if you have this women are drawn to you...i think it works both ways.. for men and women

if you are this kind of person then youhave sex appeal and people are drawn to you... ever seem shallow hal.. remember the part where the short friend(the one that comes out in the siendfield episodes) tells hal that gwen has the ugly duckling syndrome.. i think you ladies dont see youhave sex appeal because you have felt like the "ugly duckling" for so long  thats its hard to see your self as who you really are...( i feel the same way)

this surgery doesnt change us it makes the real us come out.. we are still the same loving nice person as before but now we can do more for ourself and others... 

I think you have it or you don't.  Trying to have it is the antithesis of actually having it.  If you've ever come across someone who is purposely trying to ooze sex appeal, it's pretty obvious and quite entertaining. 

I was sort of thinking the same thing--trying to have it seems like it would be the ultimate in not having it. What's the old saying, If you've got it, you've got it.

And you've obviously got it in spades dear! 

Aw shucks...you're too kind. Right, but too kind! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

 Sex appeal to an average male is BODACIOUS TATAS!   Natural or purchased.

Other qualities can be considered bu*****pically comes down to T&A.

Well damn Paul, I thought it was a way more romantic notion that I'm just awesome and people like me! LOL! Guess having bodacious tata doesn't hurt! LOL! And thank you for tossing in the purchased notation--I'd have wondered if they counted!