So off track and SCARED to death!

 I am terribly disappointed in myself. Since the holidays I seem to have lost my way. For the life of me I can't say no to anything lately. I was doing great for so long and never even felt hungry. Now it's like I'm starving all the time and I know it's just in my head but I give in and eat. And then eat some more. Now it's like I'm self destructing. I'm crying right now and I never cry about stuff like this I just jump back on track. I am literally hating myself for what I'm doing to my body. I eat past full, I eat to pain. What the hell is wrong with me?! Why can't I get it together?

You are human, that's what's wrong with you.  I don't have any answers.  I mean, I could tell you to do the pouch test or some other thing but I know that the willingness is half the battle.  Maybe you can make one small change today?  If you are drinking things with sugar, switch to sugar free.  If you are eating late at night, skip one snack.  Find something that is doable and start there.  If there is something that is causing you a lot of trouble, crackers or bread, get it out of the house.  Ask your family to help you by not bringing it home.  I find that out of sight does help with the out of mind part.
If you aren't exercising go for a walk instead of that snack.  Maybe have a protein shake the next time you feel hungry.  Make sure you are getting in your fluids.  Sometimes thirst can feel like hunger.  Just take one step today so that tomorrow you can be proud of yourself and maybe decide to make one more change.

L,
Hang in there. You can do this. It's a slippery slope isn't it? Good news is you know what you have to do and you have your tool to help get you back on track! I'm glad that you care enough about yourself to course correct....you go girl!

Don't wait till tomorrow to get on track.....start right now

Some really good advice that I have read on this site are:
-Exercise even a few minutes a day will help your mindset.
-Eat a small meal every 2 hours, and not in between, to handle any grazing that you might be doing.
-Make sugar free items like chocolate jello pudding and popsicles your snack items.
-Start your day with a protein drink in your favorite flavor.
-Make sure you're getting 2 multivitamins with iron each day.
-Go back to basics; remember when you weren't eating bread and other white stuff?
-Don't fall back into that old pattern of "over eat, then feel guilty, then eat because of the guilt". Food is not evil and you have not committed a crime.
-Don't hesitate to get professional assistance.

Hope this helps. God Bless You,
Hattie

Let's just take it one step at a time.

What's one thing you can do tomorrow?  Make a meal plan for the day and stick to it?  Avoid all starchy carbs?  Substitute a protein shake for one snack?  Pick one thing and do it tomorrow.  Just tomorrow.  You can do anything for one day, right?

Tomorrow, decide if you wanna do it again the next day.  Or pick another goal for the next day.  Just take it one step at a time.  You don't have to get everything together tonight.

Are you in therapy?  Therapy is very helpful to me and might help you too, since you're having such a tough time.

Sounds like you've gotten some good advice so far.  All I have to add is join the group called BOTT Back on Track Together.  Everyone is so helpful!  At least you are catching yourself early.  Don't sabotage all yyour hard work.  You've come too far!  Wishing you the best of luck.

Stephanie E