Online dating... what I did....

I am newly divorced after 20 years of marriage and I didn't want to waste another minute finding someone I could hang out with, do things with, take as a date to events, etc.

So on the advice of some co-workers I got on a few online dating sites.  Most of them were crap, but I found one ****upid in case you have to know, but really there are probably others that are just as good) that worked out for me.

In any case, when I started the online dating adventure, I was never quite sure what to put in my profiles.  In my pictures, I was super-morbidly obese.  I wanted men to like me for me, but I also wanted them to know that I was going to undergo RNY in October.  I was torn... do I mention it?  Don't I?

I finally put the following paragraph in my profile: "I am undergoing gastric bypass in October, but don't think that if you don't like me now, that you'll just be able to waltz into my life when I am thin and hot... like me for me, right now, or don't waste my time."

I was concerned that I had killed my chances right there and then.  But instead an amazing thing happened.  At least four guys over a 2-month period messaged me, telling me they appreciated my honesty and were interested in getting to know me now.

All of them were very nice, funny, normal (and normal-sized, whatever "normal" means) guys.  One of those guys turned out to be very special, and right now we are seeing each other exclusively, which is not something I was looking for... but then again, life is what happens when we are busy making other plans, right?

So the moral of this story?  Be yourself, be truthful, and never be ashamed of yourself, big or small.  It was a huge step for me to trust myself long enough to write a truthful dating profile... but the reward is worth it.

Audrey

:)  Wish this had a like button!

I am trying to do online dating but it's hard to find the time with my working all the time!

I have never done online dating and most likely never will (as I am married to my soulmate best friend and have been for a long time...)... but I just wanted to say THAT IS AWESOME that you wrote that... You are very brave and strong and it is just AWESOME... 

That's awesome! I met my husband almost 9yrs ago through online dating.

I think your honesty is amazing.  The thought of dating again is so scary.  Good for you for being brave enough to take the leap/

 i've met two guys off of plenty of fish (and dated each for a few months) but never told either of them about my surgery. i think the last one kind of figured it out because he kept hinting at people i knew having lipo or wls (i mean with the scars and skin i don't know how he wouldn't know). it's not that i'm hiding it, if they asked i would tell them, it's just not something i've felt comfortable telling them outright (since i've moved to ny i've only told one person that i've met, while everyone in my life pre-op knows about it). 

i'm talking to 4 guys right now (i feel like such a player lol) but haven't actually met any of them (timing never seems to work out right) but i know in the next few weeks i'll go out with at least one of them. 

just a random tip: if you're a woman and like a sports team wear a shirt/jersey in one of your pictures! i took one in my giants jersey the other day and put it up and have gotten a ton of messages because of it lol

Tried POF, better than Match but I really like the quiz question format of OK Cupid... it uses an algorhythm to match you up percentage wise with guys who answer the same questions.  So for example if you answer a bunch of questions in a more liberal or conservative way, it will give you a list of guys who also answered the questions in a similar way (without limiting you from checking out guys who don't necessarily match you, like eHarmony does).

But whether it's OKCupid, POF, MAtch or whatever... I found that once I took the leap, it got easier and easier to talk to guys (in person and online).

Audrey

 yeah i'm on okcupid too but i haven't found anyone i'm really attracted to on there. at least in my area/age-group it's more preppy business type guys and i'm more into artsy type guys. and they are pretty much all white and i've only ever dated spanish guys lol