Just a mini rant.....

I'm frustrated. I've been trying to get all the pre-op stuff done on my checklist, one of which is the psych eval. I've been leaving messages for her, and it's one of those people who work out of their home so they don't answer the phone. You have to leave a message and they call you back. Of course, if you can't answer or don't hear the phone, she leaves me a message, then we get into this phone tag thing.
Anyway...my surgeon's office told me to establish a relationship with this person before surgery  because I expressed my fears of having depression and possibly other mental issues after surgery. She even gave me this person's number (which wasn't on the list of people to call) and recommended her especially.
Today this lady finally calls.....and can't meet any of the times of my bundled appointments. She wants me to change all the other appointments to suit her schedule. When I said no, I'd rather not, she had the nerve to ask me WHY??!! She was kind of a wench about it.
So - no matter how highly recommended this lady is, I've decided to pick someone else from the list. How would I ever relax around her to share my innermost thoughts about surgery and all the other stuff? I don't open up easily. I'm the type that builds walls and only lets my most trusted friends and my husband inside my emotions and thoughts.
Thanks for letting me share my frustration.

 I am with you....why should you change ALL your appoints for her convience.   UGH  I would go with someone else also if I were you....also call your surgeon's office and make them aware of what she tried to get you to do.   I would tell them that if she is not accomidating to her patients then maybe they need to refer their patients to someone else.

Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

It definitely sounds like selecting someone else would be a good idea.  As a counselor myself, and someone who has been in counseling myself for the past 8 years because of PTSD, I can tell you that the therapeutic relationship is, without question, the most important part of the counseling process.  It doesn't matter how much training someone has, or what kind of theoretical orientation they subscribe to, or how many years they have been practicing if you do not feel comfortable with him/her.  Lots of people have trouble opening up, especially at first, and it takes time to build up a certain level of trust.

It's a shame that it was such a confrontational beginning...  I hope she is not that way with all of her clients!  (Personally, I am always a bit leery of counselors who work out of their homes anyway, and will not refer clients that I cannot work with for whatever reason to anyone who does so.)

Lora

If I was a counselor, I would never work out of my home.  I would not want my clients knowing where I lived.

I saw a psychologist for a while that had an office in her home.  She was an older woman, and was semi-retired or something.  Only saw a few patients anymore.  Her office was in the basement of her home but it had a separate entrance.  I didn't have to walk through her living room or anything.

She also did not have a separate phone number for her office.  Her number was her home phone.  If I was a counselor, I would not want my clients to have my home phone number.  Well, maybe a couple, but then I would give that to them if I thought it was appropriate.  I sure wouldn't want all my clients having my home number.

I would also never work out of my home or give clients my home phone number for security reasons.  Even a counselor who works in a suburban setting with clients who primarily have relationship issues or mood or anxiety disorders (as opposed to an urban setting working with clients with addiction issues or personality or psychotic disorders) can encounter clients who are unstable and might pose a physical threat if counseling does not go well.  It also makes it very difficult to maintain professional boundaries.  I have heard stories from counselors who work in a regular office but who have had clients who had boundary issues or wanted a more personal relationship with the counselor somehow obtain their home address and drive by the house repeatedly or even follow them from home to a store where they would pretend to have "accidentally" run into them.  Scary, especially for someone  who lives alone (but I do have an alarm system and a 60+ pound, very protective male Chow Chow!).

Lora

I have been so fortunate to have very understanding doctor's!  My surgeon is 2 hours away, so not only is there a crazy drive, but my only days off school are Friday's AND I have a three year old who I have to find a babysitter for.  Not to mention all the other appt's I have going on.  My daughter has to get serious dental work done, she sees a neurologist (both of which are an hour away from our home) and my husband is not without his share of health problems... ironically, for being the fat one in the family, I am the healthiest ;)  Everyone has went out of their way to accomidate me....

YOU are paying her bills, why should YOU rearrange your life to fit into hers???  Mostly likely her scheduling conflicts involve her riding her motorcycle, sailing her yacht or spending time in her second home in another countries because you KNOW you pay enough ;)

I agree with the others.  Fire her and move on.  There are too many "fish in the sea."

Yeah, all of you seconded what I was thinking too. I guess I just needed some reinforcement. I also am 2 hours away from my surgeon's office and this particular lady. I think from the list they gave me of counselors they are all about that far.
And, I also agree that I wouldn't want to work out of my home or give my home number. I am a teacher, and I never call student's parents from my home/cell phone number. That can be inviting trouble.
So today, I'll go through the list and pick someone else. Thanks again for the responses. Good to know I wasn't over reacting. I sometimes do that.
Kristina

How about looking for someone closer to you?  I'm assuming if it's a counselor, you may wanna see them several times, at least.  Two hours is a really long drive for that.  I understand the list they have would all be people close to the surgeon, because probably most of the surgeon's patients live near there.  But you can surely find someone qualified close to you.

You know, if you don't like a counselor or just don't feel like they are a good fit for you, for any reason, you can find someone else.  You don't even need a reason you can put your finger on.  Counseling won't be real successful unless you feel comfortable.

Now, if you talk to or visit a dozen counselors and don't like any of them, that's a different issue.  Some people build up these unrealistic expectations or they come up with something they don't like about every counselor they see because they are afraid to get into counselor or seomthing like that.  That's a different matter.  But in general, if someone rubs you the wrong way, for any reason, move on.