A failure? Maybe...? Maybe not...

Hello everyone. It has been awhile since I have posted or even been on the forum. I don't know why but I guess it is somewhat normal to drop off of reading and replying after a while. I am coming up on my 1 year anniversary of my surgery and am looking at where I am in my journey and telling myself that even though I have only lost 65 lbs and seem to have reached the place where my body wants to stay as far as weight goes, I would do it agian in a heartbeat. I have learned to control myself. I have learned that food is not a god that I must worship all day every day. I have learned to say NO to pasta and bread. I have learned to focus on other things that can comfort me when I am down, like working in the yard or cleaning out the closet, or reading.

I want to lose some more weight and I have accepted that it will be difficult  to get to 140 lb mark and I may never reach that place but I am still holding on to the hope that as long as I follow the "rules of the pouch" it is possible.

I have an appt. with my surgeon at the end of this month and I am really nervous about what he will say to me. 65 lbs is not that much for a person who has had RNY  to lose in a years time but I know for sure I couldn't have done it any other way. I just don't want to be considered a failure in Doc's eyes. I don't want to be considered a failure in anyones eyes (including mine).

So, that is where I am. I am not where I imagined I would be with the loss one year ago, but that is ok. I am healthier and happier and that was my objective to begin with. It is a little disappointing sometimes but I take it all one day at a time.

Ok, for all the over one year folks out there.... what happens now? How do you continue to make the surgery work for you? How do you make sure you keep yourself on track and keep your chin up at this stage in the game when you see very little results? I am not whining or complaining mind you, I am just getting advice and looking for support.

Am I a failure? I can only be a failure if I believe I am one and some days are better than others in that regard..

Blessings,
Angie.

This process I think is unique to each person. I look at my stats and realize there is no way I could have ever done this without the surgery. However, I too feel like I have not been as successful as I could have been. I get nervous about seeing my doctor for my one year as well. I have had such slow loss for the past 3-4 months. It is frustrating but also, I guess how it goes for periods of time. I can't do bread or pasta either- makes me sick still. I can't do many things but there are things that i can eat that I probably should avoid and I don't always avoid them.

I think we have to find personal satisfaction. I am probably 50lbs from my surgeon's original goal. No way I will make that by July. So I have to be ok with the process and think of everything that has improved in my life since the surgery.

Are you a failure?  Only you can define that.  From what you wrote, I don't see a failure.  Is your body finished losing?  Maybe.  Don't fixate on a certain "number" so much as the goal of being fit and healthy. 

Are you exercising?  That will generally get the weight moving, and you'll need to be in a good exercise routine for effortless weight management when you get to goal.

Sounds to me like you've been quite successful!  Congrats to you!

Kim

No, you are NOT a failure.  At less than a year out, you are also likely NOT done losing.  I'm not sure where people get the idea that you only have 12 months to lose weight, because it simply isn't true.  Yes, the loss slows down (just as it does around 6 months as well), but you can still potentially lose SLOWLY for up to (and sometimes beyond) 2 years!

In answer to your question "what happens now?"... nothing DIFFERENT happens.  You continue as you have been in order to maintain your weight.  Weigh yourself regularly (I personally don't recommend more than once a week but many people do it daily still) so that you know when/if the weigth starts to creep up.  I will admit that it IS difficult to continue doing the same things and no longer see any weight loss.  It is important to continue to do those things, though, so that you don;t see any weight GAIN.  You can have the occasional splurge, and many people alloow more carbs into their diet (but that can be a tricky proposition), but basically, you just "keep on keeping on".

Lora

Weight loss surgery is considered a success if the patient loses 70-80% of their excess weight....Looks like you've lost 59%....which is pretty darn close.  I would consider you a success!!!

Even though it's less than you wanted to loose, 65 pounds is a lot of weight!!  Congratulations on loosing so much!  I try to think of my weight loss in terms of how many other objects I've lost.  Like, 65 pounds is roughly the weight of a 9 year old.  So, you've basically lost a 9 year old child, lol! 

If you have achieved even one of the reasons you had surgery then you are a success

You said:  I have learned that food is not a god that I must worship all day every day. I have learned to say NO to pasta and bread. I have learned to focus on other things that can comfort me when I am down, like working in the yard or cleaning out the closet, or reading.

WOW!  Huge success at one year.  I'm 18 mos out and this lesson is truly one day at a time for me ... and like you, some days are better than others!

Ditto regarding people can keep losing for 2 years or even more.  And ditto to the person who mentioned exercise.  You didn't mention it.  I'm often convinced that I'm eating too much - but the scale stays the same and clothes fit - so I'm pretty sure that lots of exercise is keeping things in balance.  Lots for me is bike riding right now.  Minimum 4x per week one hour ride each time - but I'm often out longer and closer to everyday just because I love it.

My surgery keeps working because the pouch tells me when to STOP and I listen.  Protein first keeps hunger away.  The part about comforting myself - working on that.   Glad you dropped back in.  Congrats on your success!

You may not have lost what you wanted and it may be  less than many others but it is still a large amount of work.  You did the first step of coming back for support and that will be a great  help to you.  For atleast the next 6 months to a year or more until you get to where you want to be and then maintaining for some time, you need to come here frequently so we can help you and give you advice, support and just some friendship.  It really helps.  Many of us trade recipes, cheer each other up when down and just ask for advise on supplements, labs or anything we can think of.

If you want to jump start your weight loss, you need to optimize your metabolism.  The best way to do with is the eat 5-6 small meals per day - all including protein approximately 4 ounces at atleast 4 of them if not at all of them.  You want to add vegetables at atleast 3 of the meals (can also be salad - preferably with protein in the salad), 2 - 3 of the meals you can have fruit but again you must have protein to offset the carbs.  1-2 protein drinks per day is also prefered - these are a great source of protein, highly aborbed and lots of fluids.  By eating 5-6 small meals, every 2-3 hours (drinking in between and the protein drinks can either be liquids or a meal) optimized your metabolism, maitains a constant blood sugar and decreases hunger. 

You say you avoid bread and pasta, my nutritionist has told us from the start that it is okay to have 1 starch per day - we do need carbs.  I found once I hit  my 1 year mark, I liked to snack on popcorn at night - it is a great source of fiber and low in calories.  Just make sure you get the 100 calorie bags.

Also, you would also be best off seeing a Nutritionist.  Does you program have a nutritionist?  I know mine does.  If yours doesn't, find one locally through an Endocrinologist - they are usually very up on Weight loss surgery and can probably really help you out.

Also, make sure you get your 1 year labs done.  If you need a list of what needs to be done, feel free to write and I will send you the full list.  Then when you get the results, either post them or PM me and I will gladly help you figure out what they mean and what you need to do to improve them.