Moderation Vs Abstinance
Today I saw my doctor about my antidepressant medication and I was telling him about my granddaughters birthday party yesterday. I was telling him that they had pizza and ice cream and cake and I didn't have any. I wasn't trying to make him feel sorry for me or anything, just trying to tell him how I couldn't use food as a coping mechanism any more.
Anyway, he seemed shocked that I couldn't eat just a small amount. I tried to tell him that it wasn't possible for me to have certain things in moderation and he insisted that I could enjoy a sliver of cake and not be deprived. I told him the last time I tried to eat things like cake in moderation I regained 100lbs. I told him I was addicted to refined carbs and for me having a little bit of some things is like having a little drink to an alcoholic. I also tried to explain to him that it doesn't bother me in the least not to have those things. I have no desire for them, as long as I don't have any in my system, that eating a little is what sets up the cravings for more.
I realize that not everyone who has WLS has a problem with refined carbs and many are able to enjoy things with sugar and flour in small amounts and feel satisfied. It's just for me it is a trigger to have things with sugar and flour in them in almost any amount (it is virtually impossible to totally eliminate all sugar from my diet).
It has taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I cannot safely have certain foods in my diet. What helps me now is realizing how much better I feel physically and mentally when I avoid those things. I compare how I feel now with how I was feeling a year ago when all I could think about was eating, what I was going to eat, where I was going to eat, when I was going to eat, how much I was going to eat. I was totally controlled by my cravings. It was the first thing I thought about when I woke up and the last thing I thought about when I went to bed. It was the main topic of conversation for me. My world literally revolved around eating.
I am now free from those obsessions. Because I eat pretty much the same thing every day I don't have to give it a lot of thought. There are few decisions in my life regarding food. It has pretty much already been decided what I am going to eat for the day and I don't have to give it another thought. Even if I go out to eat I already know what I will be having. It will involve a portion of protein and some kind of vegetable, maybe a bit of fruit. The actual kind of meat or vegetable may vary but not the content.
Anyway, he seemed shocked that I couldn't eat just a small amount. I tried to tell him that it wasn't possible for me to have certain things in moderation and he insisted that I could enjoy a sliver of cake and not be deprived. I told him the last time I tried to eat things like cake in moderation I regained 100lbs. I told him I was addicted to refined carbs and for me having a little bit of some things is like having a little drink to an alcoholic. I also tried to explain to him that it doesn't bother me in the least not to have those things. I have no desire for them, as long as I don't have any in my system, that eating a little is what sets up the cravings for more.
I realize that not everyone who has WLS has a problem with refined carbs and many are able to enjoy things with sugar and flour in small amounts and feel satisfied. It's just for me it is a trigger to have things with sugar and flour in them in almost any amount (it is virtually impossible to totally eliminate all sugar from my diet).
It has taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I cannot safely have certain foods in my diet. What helps me now is realizing how much better I feel physically and mentally when I avoid those things. I compare how I feel now with how I was feeling a year ago when all I could think about was eating, what I was going to eat, where I was going to eat, when I was going to eat, how much I was going to eat. I was totally controlled by my cravings. It was the first thing I thought about when I woke up and the last thing I thought about when I went to bed. It was the main topic of conversation for me. My world literally revolved around eating.
I am now free from those obsessions. Because I eat pretty much the same thing every day I don't have to give it a lot of thought. There are few decisions in my life regarding food. It has pretty much already been decided what I am going to eat for the day and I don't have to give it another thought. Even if I go out to eat I already know what I will be having. It will involve a portion of protein and some kind of vegetable, maybe a bit of fruit. The actual kind of meat or vegetable may vary but not the content.
WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010
High Weight (2002) 240 Revision Weight (2010) 220 Current Weight 115.
It's not that I can NEVER have fudge again. It's just the first bite that would be dangerous. So, I don't.
I understand completely. I could, in theory have a jelly bean. They don't flip my switch. But why play with fire. I haven't lived this life for nearly 2 decades to undo it with a bad first bite, right?
I understand completely. I could, in theory have a jelly bean. They don't flip my switch. But why play with fire. I haven't lived this life for nearly 2 decades to undo it with a bad first bite, right?
Michelle
RNY, distal, 10/5/94
P.S. My year + long absence has NOTHING to do with my WLS, or my type of WLS. See my profile.
It really is a small price to pay for all the benefits I get. And there is so much good stuff out that that is healthy and sugar free that I really don't feel like I am missing out on anything. My treats are my protein shakes these days.
WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010
High Weight (2002) 240 Revision Weight (2010) 220 Current Weight 115.
I see threads "How long before you could have...(insert less-optimum choice here"
One of the things that sort of gets me about this is that it doesn't MATTER what ANYONE ELSE does. MY ability to eat something has nothing whatsoever to do with what another person can eat.
The STRENGTH of this surgery, perhaps the single largest strength, is the chance for self-evaluation ..... a person must figure out what WORKS for THEM. It doesn't MATTER what works for someone else. I consume treats that wouold probably trigger you, but aren't a big deal for me. It's all about knowing yourself.
I would say you have a lot of strength, and I admier you for it.
One of the things that sort of gets me about this is that it doesn't MATTER what ANYONE ELSE does. MY ability to eat something has nothing whatsoever to do with what another person can eat.
The STRENGTH of this surgery, perhaps the single largest strength, is the chance for self-evaluation ..... a person must figure out what WORKS for THEM. It doesn't MATTER what works for someone else. I consume treats that wouold probably trigger you, but aren't a big deal for me. It's all about knowing yourself.
I would say you have a lot of strength, and I admier you for it.
~Lady Lithia~ 200 lbs lost!
March 9, 2011 - Coccygectomy!
I chased my dreams, and my dreams, they caught me!
Thank you and I couldn't agree more. This surgery was an opportunity to reflect on what brought me to this place, why I got to be morbidly obese and how is it going to be different this time.
When I was younger I used to pray every night for God to let me wake up and be thin. Of course that never happened but one night I realized something. Even if I did manage to somehow wake up and be thin within a short period of time I would get fat again. That is when I changed my prayer to God help me not to eat so much.
Sometimes I think giving a morbidly obese person WLS without some sort of treatment for eating disorders is like giving a practicing alcoholic a new liver.
When I was younger I used to pray every night for God to let me wake up and be thin. Of course that never happened but one night I realized something. Even if I did manage to somehow wake up and be thin within a short period of time I would get fat again. That is when I changed my prayer to God help me not to eat so much.
Sometimes I think giving a morbidly obese person WLS without some sort of treatment for eating disorders is like giving a practicing alcoholic a new liver.
WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010
High Weight (2002) 240 Revision Weight (2010) 220 Current Weight 115.
Started to tear up..... I used to say that same prayer when I was little(ish).
Thank you so much for this thread - - it's great to recognize the differences in people and accept that some CAN, some CAN'T.
Thank you so much for this thread - - it's great to recognize the differences in people and accept that some CAN, some CAN'T.
First ultra: Stone Mill 50 miler 11/15/14 13:44:38, First Full Marathon: Marine Corps 10/27/13 4:57:11, Half Marathon PR 2:04:43 at Shamrock VA Beach Half-Marathon, 12/2/12 First Half-Marathon 2:32:47, 5K PR Run Under the Lights 5K 27:23 on 11/23/13, 10K PR 52:53 Pike's Peek 10K 4/21/13, (1st timed run) Accumen 8K 51:09 10/14/12.
On April 28, 2011 at 10:29 PM Pacific Time, Ladytazz wrote:
Thank you and I couldn't agree more. This surgery was an opportunity to reflect on what brought me to this place, why I got to be morbidly obese and how is it going to be different this time.When I was younger I used to pray every night for God to let me wake up and be thin. Of course that never happened but one night I realized something. Even if I did manage to somehow wake up and be thin within a short period of time I would get fat again. That is when I changed my prayer to God help me not to eat so much.
Sometimes I think giving a morbidly obese person WLS without some sort of treatment for eating disorders is like giving a practicing alcoholic a new liver.
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