Just don't worry about it

Okay all of you newbies out there. I recently saw a post about someone who was trying to anticipate what after WLS would be like. I encourage you to avoid thinking and acting on the last supper syndrome type of eating. You will eventually get those foods back that you REALLY want. Maybe some will disagree, but many of the foods I loved preop are no longer interesting to me. I also find that the more I stay away from carbs, the better I feel in general. Now when I go out to dinner for an evening out, I enjoy visiting with my wife way more than I did before. It used to be the food and then her company, and now it is about the relationship with the food coming secondary. I still enjoy the first bite and I still enjoy that feeling of being full when I am finished. I just don't need to eat that other 80% to get to that point of being full...and I REALLY don't miss that extra volume like I thought I would. Since I still DO enjoy the food, when I go out to dinner, I may even sip a bit more water so that I can enjoy a bit more of that food. If it is food that I REALLY enjoy, I know how to work past the tool "just for the evening". I'm not so crazy as to work past my tool each day..that would defeat why I went through this in the first place. I get back on track the day after and I find that success again. So, for those of you who might be feeling that you must give everything up, I say that it is temporary as you can have your foods back....just not in your current portions. Good luck on your own journey. John P.S. I'm also a big advocate of getting as much off as you can before surgery. I lost 36 pounds (using Byetta - a prescribed diabetic drug with a side effect of appetite suppression) before the pre-op diet and I am so glad I did that as it gave me a jump on my own journey.

Great post, John!  I agree with trying to avoid "last supper syndrome" - but I also have to mention that there are people who plan "last meals" and still do fine after surgery.  it's all about how you prepare yourself to "think" post-op.  Food isn't gone forever.  It just becomes less of a focus.  I was more concerned about simply surviving surgery to give much thought to a last meal.  I had already spent years eating what I "wanted" - I wasn't going to miss those sensations. It's very true that there isn't much difference between what I ate prior to surgery and what I "can" eat now - 17 months out.  The difference is that I don't crave some of the old stuff anymore, I don't miss the uncomfortable feeling of being "stuffed" by so much.  I can stop after eating normally rather than feeling like I have to shovel in seconds to be satisfied.   Many pre-ops might not understand that the point of the RnY pouch isn't that you "stay" at a very-low calorie theshold for life (the same level you're at immediately post-op).  The point is that you eventually reach a point where your "threshold" is a normal 1,200 - 2,000 daily calories like people who maintain their weight properly and don't otherwise have food/eating issues.  Lots of people don't "get" that or aren't told that until they reach that point post-op and it's like a "light bulb" moment.  RnY isn't a specific calorie diet.  Some people, by consequence of the re-routed intestines, find they may have intolerances, so there are foods they may have to avoid, but many of us simply have to keep an eye on protein, make sure we get our water and vitamins in, and let our own new satiety point tell us when we're full.  When I do take the time to journal what I've had in a normal day - it's never gone beyond 2,200 calories - on a "big" food day.   That's barely above what I burn simply "existing" and taking a 30-minute leisure walk over the course of a day.  People who are pre-op don't have the hindsight usually to tell the difference between post-op "full" and pre-op "full" to trust that their pouch will do the work their own stomach didn't do before.  But that's been my experience.  Satisfied on less, choosing yummy protein-forward things and still being able to have treats - just not craving the treats every day, not having that old constant craving taking over my day.

Although I am two weeks out....I'm still a "newbie" going throught the motions of this new lifestyle.  I have been a member of this site for a few months before my surgery, and have read from others about the difficulties of the first few weeks out.  Needless to say I'm trying to stay optomistic and waiting for this time to pass.   Thank you for your encouraging words!

Take it from someone who ate her weights worth of food daily pre-op for 4 months preceeding surgery John is RIGHT ON! It is NOT neccessary to eat a lot of food pre-op just because you're going to miss it. Your relationship is going to change with it - and I KNOW that idea is scary. But it's just insanity to let food occupy that much of your life. I can't even begin to explain how insane I was with food, and unfortunately I was one of those folks that had to be forced to stop post-op because it just wasn't going to happen pre-op in my head.  So please, just know you will NOT have to give it all up post-op. And if you choose to give it up, it's usually for the better anyway. For the most part you need to trust us in this. Because once you get away from whatever is consuming you in excess you will feel free. It's an amazing journey. But a scary one because of the unknowns.  Please, if you have the opportunity to make changes in your lifestyle before surgery I recommend it. Because if you're a heavyweight like I started out at, surgery is only going to get you so far and you're gonna have to work even harder to get it off as you get further out. Please - just start thinking health first and always!!!  Great post John, and a very important one! Jen

Great post John. It's so true! I used to be a pasta girl through and through. I could - and would - eat pasta for every meal (including breakfast), but post-op I haven't missed it one bit. I just don't crave it like I did before. I never did the "last supper" thing because I found out the day before that my surgery was actually a "go" so I didn't have time, but even in the weeks leading up to it - I didn't really binge. I don't feel deprived at all.

Bekah

Great post.  I too am 2 weeks out and I've found it very helpful to collect recipies that are protein-rich that I'll get to enjoy soon.  For now, I'm concentrating on just getting my liquids in.  In a few months, I can't wait to have some nice juicy pot-roast and all kinds of things I would never have given a second-thought to in my previous fast-food-clouded life.  I'm just so happy to have gotten back some energy and no longer fall into carb-induced laziness.

Thank you all for adding such excellent words of wisdom to this post for the newbies. You all had such good things to add. In fact, you brought back those memories of the pre-op days. Back in Mid-May of 2007 I had planned my final meal before I went on the 10 day liquid diet. I had gone out to dinner with my wife the night before the night of our actual planned "last supper" meal. I had planned to take my wife out again the next night for the real last supper....if that makes sense. Well, we were on our way home and I just became overwhelmed with emotions and tears began to roll down my cheeks. For weeks I had planned this meal out with my wife for this final meal to our favorite restaurant. It occured to me that if this was really going to be the "last supper" meal, I wanted it to be with both my wife and kids. All of a sudden I was feeling so selfish for not including them in this meal. Later I found out that my wife had seen my tears and decided not to say anything...since she could see that I was trying to cover it up. That was the only time I really got emotional over this surgery as I was completely calm on the actual day of surgery. Well, we ended up having steak and shrimp and all kinds of good stuff...all of the stuff that we rarely can afford to feed five kids. It was one of the most memorable meals of my life. This surgery process plays tricks on your mind....I say just enjoy the moment...it is such a magical time and you will likely look back on it with fond memories. The reason is that you will begin to see that it was at that period in time that you begin to get your life back. Thanks for the trip down memory lane. John

You know that I've been working on my pre-op dieting like crazy... but I haven't gone overboard... hubby and I have shared a number of really nice calories-aren't-important meals. But one thing I found.... after I got used to my modified diet, the big ol food like before.... NEVER makes me feel good. I think it will, I slavor over my menu choices, I eat the food like before (with a little voice screaming at me when I dig into the Baked Potato telling me how many "stupid" carbs I'm ingesting) and I never EVER get any satisfaction out of those meals. About the only thing I'm having trouble stopping (and I had a 1/2 victory today) is my favorite chocolate cake. I usually got it post-op with other surgeries, and whenever I was feeling down or sick. It doesn't do ANYTHING for me. It leaves me feeling sick, and yet... the next time, like today driving home from the doctor's office (the store that carries it is 25 miles away****pt looking at the exit to go get cake and I .... drove right by... and proceeded to shop at another store and get a "lesser" piece of cake... half a victory is better than no victory, yes? And you know wwhat? I get nothing out of it. How can I stop everything else that is BAD for me and not stop cake? Of course I am sick, and I've programmed in the cake as my "cure" for sick. only now I know it's empty, it physically makes me sick, I swear never to have it after each piece, and yet I want it again next time.... because I remember what it USED to do for me... it USED to make me feel better. Now it makes me feel bad. But I still get it. (only I didn't today!)  I agree though... losing weight pre-op is very important, jumping on the bandwagon of your new lifestyle, I think, will make the transition much more smooth. I firmly believe (and YES, I might be wrong) that I will experience a lot less head-hunger than the person who "pigs out" all the way up to surgery.  I'm lucky (unlucky?) to have a doc that doesn't require a pre-op liquid diet. I plan to do one... and yes, I might have cake between now and the beginning of that pre-op liquid diet, but that is my cut-off for cake.  Now don't go thinking I'm eating cake every day! It's more like once every two weeks I have a single piece of cake. But it's still against my self-imposed diet.  But ya know, as lousy as the cake makes me feel, when I splurge with that, I'm NOT splurging on everything else all the time. (justification/rationalization/etc).  Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It helped me get my own out and think about my own actions.  Perhaps I'll have no more cake. (for now)

I also want to thank you for this post!! It is very encouraging to read as I sit here on the eve before I start my 2 week liquid Optifast diet...only my surgeon is allowing NOTHING but clear liquids and 5 packs of optifast a day!! I have been having the worst anxiety tonite and i keep going to the fridge and the junk food cupboard and just  looking at that bag of Doritos thinking OMG I will never be able to have you again!! As it was a part of my daily grub alongside my sandwich for lunch!! Tonite I did have my "last supper" I had to have me a big fat juicy steak on the grill (mind you I bought enough steak to feed an army so i could make sure I had ALL that my little heart desired ), a baked potato with butter and ranch dressing and a salad!! And I just wanted more and more!! I guess I am kind of freaking out a little because this is it!! This is what i have worked so hard towards as far as pre-op and it is finally here and now all evening i have been talking myself out of it...the food is controlling my head right now and it is not fair!!! I want and need this surgery for myself for many reasons and the little food demons are telling me otherwise...LOL I keep reminding myself that it is NOT the end!! I will still be able to enjoy food, but just in much smaller portions!! I think I'm going to have to keep telling myself this for the next few weeks! My life is not over, it's actually just begining!! PS Can I ask How anyone handled having to prepare meals for your family while on the pre-op liquid diet???  Thanks again for your post!!  I love this site!!!

I did not handle having to prepare meals for my family - I made my husband do most of it!  The liquid diet was the hardest part of this surgery for me, before or after, because I still had my full football-sized stomach and felt very deprived.  I occasionally would help fix something, but only with gum in my mouth.  And this is also only after my surgeon approved one lean cuisine-type entree per day in place of two of my shakes!  Good luck to you, and keep telling yourself how the post-op life will seem that much easier after having gone through the liquid diet. Sally