2 years Out - long
Hi Everyone,
My 2 year surgeversary was on June 27th. I planned on doing a post back then, but haven't had the time. A lot has changed in the last couple years.
4 years ago, when someone started talking to me about surgery to help me lose weight, I wasn't convinced. It took a couple months of talking about it before I was kinda ready to start looking into it. I asked my GP and she wasn't totally on board with the idea (don't think she knew enough about the process at that time). I waited a couple more months, then went back and asked for a referal to the Ottawa Weight Management Clinic, and she referred me. It was a way I saw to get a step closer. While I was going through the consults etc, they changed the procedures, so it took me over 18 months from referral to the clinic to surgery. By that time, I was well prepared. Through my colleague who had surgery (in the US, I missed the cut off for that one), and on here I had lots of good information and support.
Many people ask who they told and when. That is a very individual question. For me, I only told a few at work (my supporters) my immediate family and my Mom. I didn't tell my in-laws, as I was not wanting to hear any lectures or negativity. I did tell them when I started my shakes, only because we had 3 family events involving food the first weekend, and I had to explain why I wasn't eating. I didn't have any problem with snacking that weekend. Once I had surgery, and people asked me how I did it, I willingly tell them what I did, and answer any questions that they have. It doesn't bother me to do this. I know why I did what I did, and those who don't understand, have never gone through the battles we go through every day.
A lot of people put a lot of weight in what the scale tells them. The scale is a tool, but it's not important. Those little numbers are just little numbers. It's more important as to how you feel. I had surgery at the end of June, in October I was out-skating my kids. NSVs like that are more important than any little number on the scale. Being able to run, actually run, from one end of the rink to the other is a big thing for me. For a long time, I couldn't do that. Being able to play street hockey or baseball with my kids, that's important. Could I run a marathon, no, but only because I don't have the attention span or drive to train for it.
Am I the perfect model for a post-WLS patient? Nope, I'll admit it. I have some junk once in a while. It's a constant battle that I'm working on. Do I get enough water in? Probably not, but I'm working on that too. I sometime forget my calcium, but that's another work in progress. All these are habits that I've fallen out of and am working on getting back. Especially when I'm not at work (i.e. out of routine). I also have to work on getting back to the gym.
As you'll see, I had put a goal of 190lbs, which is higher than some, and I may not make it there, but I'm happy where I am. If I make it lower than 200, I'll be ecstatic. But if I don't get there, I'm OK where I am too.
Almost a month ago, I joined a statistic. My husband and I separated. Was our separation due to my WLS? I don't know. Maybe with losing the weight I got stronger, and couldn't put up with his behavior and attitude any more. But it was more the affect his behavior had on the kids. Will everyone who has surgery break up? No. The break ups are more with those who had a broken relationship to start with.
The one piece of advice I'll give anyone, if you are over stressed, get help. The week we broke up, I lost over 10 lbs, this was due to not eating because of stress. And the not eating was adding to my stress. A lot of people eat when they are stressed, I am the opposite. Most days my stress level is normal now, and I'm back to eating more normally. But I had to start over again, with food stages, as my stomach had very little that week.
This fall I'll be a single hockey Mom, which actually, isn't much different than last year. He wouldn't come to most early morning practices, and 4:30 practices, he wouldn't bother. I was doing all that. At home games, he'd play with the time clock, including playing music. Some of his choices were not overly sportsman like. He wouldn't listen when I tried to tell him. There were only 2 games of my youngest son's that I missed, and that was only because my oldest son had a game and I had to dress him (he's a goalie and needs a little extra help). I'll be making close friends on both teams so that if it happens this year, I can get other hockey parents to help me out.
Since my ex moved out, I have been cleaning and fixing up my house to put it up for sale. (There isn't anything that I'm doing that I haven't done before, including electrical, plastering and painting, and will be doing some plumbing soon too). He can't afford to keep it, and neither can I. We have too many debts to repay. Once I sell my house, my Mom and I will be renting a house together, until we can both get back on our feet. My Mom and my family have been really supportive through all this. I am very thankful for that.
If anyone asks if I would go back and do it all over? Yep, without a thought. All the bad I have been through, is outweighed by all the good things.
I'd also like to thank those on here who have supported me over the last couple months though this break up. Your listening to me means a lot.
Thanks for reading my story.
Cathy
Congrats on your two year anniversary! You are the opposite of me, and have the relaxed spirit I wish I had. But i'm working on that.
I'm part of that statistic too, but like you said, if the relationship is broken before the surgery, it's going to be in trouble. Again, I did the opposite of you, and I ate my face off when he moved out. It was brief, and I dumped for the first time.
You are amazing to be doing so much on your own, and the realization that you have been anyway is a good thing for your year ahead.
You rock!! Good luck with everything!!!
Surgery March 23/2011. Completed three full marathons and two half marathons, two half Ironman distances. Completed my first Full Ironman distance (4 km swim, 180 km bike, 42.2 km (full marathon) run) in Muskoka August 30/2015. Next Ironman Lake Placid July 23/2017!
Congratulations on your two year surgiversary! And kudos to you for having a great attitude towards the scale. You are absolutely right that it's the healthy living that your doing that is the true victory. Sorry to hear about your relationship, but sounds like you have it together!
I listen to your story, and others on hear, and am continually inspired by the strength I read about.
Good luck as you move forward!
Cheers,
DD
Some people say that being in a partnership allows to share your troubles, making them easier to bear - but I say that in many many cases you end up having twice troubles you would've had on your own!
Who needs that?
I love what my friend Kathleen says - she told friends that she lost 200 pounds of dead weight four years ago and hasn't looked back. And she means her husband.
Cathy, you are an inspiration to all of us. Just when you think you've got a reason to whine, you read someone's post and she shows such quiet courage and determination, it makes you realize how good you've got it.
Hats off, girlfriend - you deserve all the good that's going to come your way from now on!
Congratulations on your surgiversary and your progress to date! I am sorry about your separation, but it sounds like it was the right thing to do. You've done so well, and are an inspiration to newbies like me!
Referral - December 2011 * Orientation TWH - March 13th, 2012 * Nurse Practitioner - April 17th, 2012 * Nutrition Class - April 17th, 2012 * Social Worker - April 24th, 2012 * Dietician - May 1st, 2012 * Psych - May 1st, 2012 * Surgeon - August 17th, 2012 * PATTS - Sept. 12th, 2012 * SURGERY TEGH, Dr. Cyriac - October 16th, 2012
Starting Weight - 320 lbs * Current Weight - 178 lbs * Goal Weight - 165 lbs
Thank you so much for your post. I just joined the same statistic on 17 Jun. I'm still reeling a bit from the shock, but have to move forward. I'm going to have to go through the ordeal of getting a house ready to sell, too. I just don't have any of the skills that you do to tackle the repairs! I mean, I can certainly splash on some paint, but as for other stuff, it's just not something I know how to do. I guess I'll be calling on a lot of my friends! Please take care and feel free to IM me if you want.
Kym :)
