NSV!!

Sigh. Yeah, unfortunately it's a fairly regular thing. I get it mostly when I am with my partner. He's a slim, handsome - ok, really handsome guy, and even though he loves me just as I am, people seem to be really bothered to see him with me. Usually it is just dirty looks, but give someone a car to drive by in or a group to blend into, and I've had plenty of things said to me. It usually ruins my day/night/life. It's not only then, though. I once had a guy beg me for money and when I politely said no, he shouted "WHALE" at me - this was as I was crossing the road at Bay and Front Street, mind you. I was mortified. Everyone turned to look.

I apologize because this is long, but I posted this on my Facebook last fall, and it really opened some people's eyes, and helped others who suffer the same way. Here it is:

I realized something awful today. I am now afraid to walk down the street without headphones in. Why? Because at any moment, someone might yell something incredibly horrible at me, in regards to the way I look. A car slowed down by me this morning with their window open and I held my breath, my muscles clenched. Luckily, this person was only asking directions. Unfortunately for me, up to four or more times a month, it is nothing so innocuous. On a regular basis "FATTY!" or "Jenny Craig!" or "WHALE!" might be yelled at me as a cowardly car speeds past. It's rarely very creative. This past summer a group of club-bound girls in a taxi decided to tell my boyfriend he could do better than "Princess Fiona the Ogre" as we stood waiting for a streetcar on the way to a party, me in my new green top that had previously made me feel great, but has not been worn since. These episodes leave me feeling all kinds of hurt, angry, embarrassed... not to mention ashamed. 

There are many facets to me as a person and in regards to my appearance. However, I understand that much like a quick look at someone who is 6'5" reads as "Tall", a quick glance at me reads as "Fat". If anyone who is naturally slim to average doesn't know any better, let me tell you right now: every person who falls into the category of overweight/obese KNOWS this about themselves, maybe thinks about it more than anything else in their life. How could they not? It's in our public perception from a very young age that anything other than slim is bad. Let me get this straight - I agree that too much excess fatty tissue is very unhealthy, as is an unbalanced diet and a sedentary lifestyle. However every person is different, and just like every person who ever did life-ruining drugs has a story, so do those with addictions to food. Don't forget people with different problems: those on certain medications or who've been injured or have no access to good quality food.

The thing is, I don't need to explain myself or the reasons for who I am to a stranger walking or driving past me. No one deserves to have derogatory things yelled at them at ANY time. We teach children not to bully, but I see bullying from adults of all ages all the time. Can you imagine how you would feel if you were verbally attacked, not once, but repeatedly as you went about living your daily life? I don't get it - would anyone expect that to motivate someone to change? Most of all, is it any of their business what I look like, what I do, or who I am with? I think the most laughable thing about it is that I am *walking* when this happens. You know, a form of exercise?

Obesity might be an epidemic, but so is bullying. Maybe there would be less people self-medicating with food if there were less awful people attacking their self esteem. I know I am not the only one experiencing this. I have held off on talking about this because it is embarrassing and because I do feel ashamed for being too heavy.

Thanks! 

Awesome!  And well done!      Keep up the great work!   Your post is full of enthusiasm and life!

Thanks!

that's wonderful!! Congrats!

Thank you!