When is Enough Too Much?

Describe the  behavioral and emotional battles that come with bariatric surgery.

Sometimes I don't know what people are thinking when they respond to people who are asking for help. After three years of Sleeve surgery post-op, I  am tired of living the post weight loss surgery lifestyle. Tired of saying no to food, tired of dieting, tired of talking about surgery 24 hrs a day. Most of all, I am tired of putting up with the bitter, opinionated meanness of some who populate the world of WLS and food addiction.

To those people I say, "Get a clue, it's just life, everybody has to learn to cope, without taking it out on others." I have one more round to go, Re-sleeve and DS, and then I  just have to live with me forever...    

Some have no idea, and don't care, how damaging their actions are to those who lack the ability to ignore and move   on, to not be able to wrap one's mind around the fact that this person isn't worth it... Who don't   understand why someone would be so nasty and takes it personally.

Usually those who need   kindness and support the most, are the perfect targets of these bullies... Some people don't get that mean people are just like that. Some people are just unaware of how others affect them, and how the rudeness needs to be ignored, and that it has nothing to do with them...

Some people will "get you" and some won't. The people that "get you," those people are your

friends, focus your energy there. As for the others, avoid them, block them, don't answer their

posts, no matter how much they goad you into doing so. rdc

 

 

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I think you're referring to something that took place on another forum.

I rarely see bullying here on the DS forums although I do see it quite often in the RNY and sleeve forums and the one un-namable forum. Of course there are a few DSers that do rip people a new A hole at times but no more than peeps in any other WLS category. I have pretty much blocked most of the bullies on OH. I enjoy this website a lot more now that I have them blocked. Bullies disgust me. I never allow myself to be a victim but I really hate seeing other people, who do not handle it very well, suffer. 

We all have to let go and rant at times. I hope your revision goes well. 

 

This happens on most boards from time to time, but some forums are known for it. IMHO, It has no place in support groups of any kind. rdc

I agree!

I visit a board that is fairly vicious.    I mostly lurk because the information is excellent, and a lot of veterans are there with wonderful insights.  They have seen it all.  But I rarely post or comment - just do searches and read other postings. 

I've blocked so many people there that I can't see more than half of them comment any more - which makes it hard to follow the train of discussion.     It was hard at first when they would gang up on me or others.  And the moderator refuses to intervene on anyone's behalf. 

WLS -  It's such an emotional, personal issue surrounded by tons of fear, guilt, desperation, and financial issues.  Rough to have a bunch of nasty little Ogres jump you when you are looking for information or acceptance.

People know when they are being vicious, especially after they have to leave a website, for the continued trolling and bullying against innocent people. And controlling the rules to protect the abusers? Absurd, like the Emperor Has No Clothes. but anyone who dares to question will be punished!

Why would we support a bunch of adult cyber bullies, when we have come so far with bullying in real life? I have seen this in three or four groups, so it seems to be a syndrome, with identifiable characters and behaviors. It is very juvenile, and clique-ish, but also very damaging, just like these HS kids who commit suicide.

People who are desperate to lose weight, especially after revisions, feel like they are at the end of their rope. Then come along these seemingly characterologically dysfunctional people, who all blame the suffering victim, using the hurt to further injure those who are so fragile...It's a cycle of abuse and it is wrong!

Having information that is critical to other's health, but holding it ransom, is a sick game...

Any open board or forum is going to have a wide variety of personality types involved. This can cause problems because the written word is often harder to interpret than the spoken word. We don't get the cues we get in real life---no tone of voice, inflection, facial expression, body language, etc. So we tend to interpret what we read through our own, personal filters.

Sometimes this leads to offense being taken where none is intended. I know I've had people rail at me about jumping on them and/or someone else, when that was not my intention at all---I was simply too plainspoken for their taste.

No one can make you feel anything you don't choose to feel. I just don't understand people who get really upset by the words of total strangers on the internet, especially when they've asked for advice and that's exactly what they've been given. My advice to the emotionally fragile is 'be vary careful where and what you post', because we have ZERO CONTROL over how other people respond to us.

>>>"No one can make you feel anything you don't choose to feel. I just don't understand people who get really upset by the words of total strangers on the internet, especially when they've asked for advice and that's exactly what they've been given. My advice to the emotionally fragile is 'be vary careful where and what you post', because we have ZERO CONTROL over how other people respond to us."

It is the bullies who should be made to be very careful...

And just how do you propose to do that? You only have control over yourself and how you react to what you read. On a public forum, anyone is permitted to post anything they choose. That's why I say if you're thin-skinned, be careful about what you post and where, because you CANNOT control how others will respond to you. You CAN control what you share, and where. Most forums give you the option of blocking posters that annoy you, so that you need never read their posts again. (And on most boards, this also means they'll never ready your posts, either.)

You can largely tailor your internet experience to suit your needs, not by dictating what other people post, but by choosing what and where you post, and by blocking posters you don't like.