Not Good Enough...

Yesterday was my 1 month benchmark.  When I look in the mirror, I am seeing the same woman.  I have so far to go and, it seems insurmountable right now.  I know the loss happens over time but, in my situation, I believe my rate needs to be faster in order to lose all the weight I want to lose in the long run.

I'm wondering where I can make changes to spur my weight loss.  I know that part of the problem is the tape that's played in my head my whole life that I or my effort is "not good enough".  I am feeling a little down.  

Does this make any sense to anyone.  Any advice?

Hang in there and rewrite those tapes running through your head. I will do this! Sticking to my plan! My surgery is the best! I will succeed! 64 oz of fluid a day! Under 50 grams of carbs a day! Taking these vitamins keeps me healthy! Drinking this protein shake increases my chances of losing all I want to lose. I am a winner! I will do this!  Yes I can!  

--gina

HI, I was once like that to, but I seeked counseling and it helped, support really can make a difference, when the message is a core belief it is hard to change, you can also help yourself with finding support or motivation books or CD"s to read and listen to. These are some of the things I do, (still), and it has helped. I didn't lose all the weight I wanted to and I can still appreciate how far I have come.
So my advice is breathe and you will get through it,

Susan

I know that feeling well. It can be discouraging. Don't let it last. You made a decision to put yourself in another place - away from the things that lead to the "not good enough" feelings. Throw out that old tape - you are past that now. Create a new space following MajorMom's advice. 

Work the DS. Forget statistics as long as you are making progress the rest doesn't matter. You can reach your goal. It is a long road but now it is more than a dream.

I see you are down 38 pounds in that first month. That seems great to me. At one month you are still healing. Keep up the good work and keep healthy. Each pound makes it a little easier to be more active which helps you take off another pound.

You will always have days/times you feel the path is too long, at least I do, but we made a change we can't walk away from. Replace that feeling with the determination to use it to the utmost.

I guess this struck a chord with me. Here are some things that might help on a more physical level. :)

Hydration, vitamins, and protein have to be your top priority. That said, when you can get more than 64 oz liquids in -  do it. It might be too early while you are healing but the time will come. I think it helps with the weight loss. I'm trying for 80 - 100 a day. Also, just remember, until you have all your protein in for the day eating less is not healthy - that is the old way.

Low carb. Low carb. Low carb. This is easier early out because you may not have room for much besides your protein. Still something to keep in mind.

Lastly, be as active as you can be. I remember being mad at the nutritionist pre-op for suggesting I find exercises I could do from my chair. It just seemed so useless. But now that I have some more energy I am actively looking at those things and looking forward to the day I can start using an exercise bike. An ulcer on he bottom of my foot keeps my mobility pretty limited but it is healing faster with each pound lost.

Congratulations on getting the DS. 

 

You didn't put the weight on overnight, and it won't come off overnight either.  If you lose too quickly it puts such a stress on your liver, you only have one and you need to be kind to it!  Even though you don't want to hear this, it is best to lose at a slower more consistent pace.  

I remember looking in the mirror and seeing the same thing.

The veterans of this surgery state that you will lose 25% the first 3 months, 50% at the 6 month mark, 75% at the 1 year mark, and the last 25% in the second year.  I keep these milestones in mind, because I lost 50% of my weight at 2.5 months out.  When I get down on myself about the stalls and lack of weight loss, I remind myself I lost more than these percentages at every 3 month mark - and chances are you will also.

I always get frustrated with the stalls, and fight and push and pull to get the scale to move - but I've learned some important points along the way.

1)  put the scale away.  Don't weigh yourself every day.  Your body will drop chunks of weight, then stall while it 'reconfigures' the remaining fat on your body.  You will lose inches, but the scale won't move.  Personally, I'd rather lose the inches because I'm not walking around with a sign around my neck telling everyone what I weigh.  To me, the clothes fit is what is important now.

2) you lose at the rate/speed/manner that is unique to you.  The more you try to intervene and force it, the crazier it will make you.  Just follow the rules:  eat protein first, stay under 50 carbs per day, get your vits in, and hydrate.  It will come off when it's willing to let go of it - and usually the harder I forced it, the slower it came off.  Please don't slash your carbs to try to force it - that will back fire on you later on down the road.

3) you are still swollen from the internal chopping and organ loss.  Your body has taken a huge hit.  Wait till month 3, when all the swollen parts are healed - people are going to tell you that you look 15 years younger!  Course, all your clothes will be 2 sizes too big...  

4) start your new life.  Get busy with positive and productive things and the weight will melt off.  

 

I have a friend who lost about 400lbs with the DS.  And kept it off.  She was smart and realized she needed to help the DS along if she ever wanted to reach a 'normal' weight.  After all she had a lot to lose.  Here's how she did it.

She ate very little till she hit her goal.  She had 150gr of protein per day, all from shakes.  She basically stayed on a diet that was 90% carb free shakes.  And it worked.  IDS Cinnamon and Vanilla was her favorite.

She did this because she wasn't going to be satisfied with still being fat when it was all said and done.  She figured it was a temporary sacrifice and it worked for her.

Here's an alternative.  Buy a turkey and eat it.  Over and over till you reach the weight you want to be.  Eat as much as you want with mayo and mustard but that's it!  And turkey will be cheap soon and the good prices will last through the holidays.

 

You are preaching to the quire Hun! I was exactly where you are a month out too, and I too had to fight my demons of "not being enough". I am 8 months out and down more than half of the weight I needed to loose. I promise you there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and things will get better. Hang in there and focus on each day. What I found to work for me was I picked a day of the week, and on that day I weighed myself. At first it seemed to hang on for dear life, but I was told by my doctor that, that is due to our body readjusting to what was just major surgery. By the end of month two I was blown away at how my looks were changing, and how I had begun to find myself again. You WILL get there too, and for the record you are enough! 

Yup... I feel that way too 4.5 months out.  I am happy what the scale showed today (after a two week stall/2lb gain), but boy, do I want the number to be lower.  When I think this way, here's what I try to do to get myself on track:

1.  Am I exercising enough?  If I'm not at the gym, am I at least moving around more?  I've started to use TV commercial breaks as an opportunity to get off the couch and put something away or do a quick chore.  Don't know if it's made a weight difference, but it certainly has helped me psychologically ("Yay me!  I'm getting stuff done!")

2.  Remember the non-scale victories.  Clothes are looser, I'm "shopping" for smaller sizes (in my closet!), compliments from the dental hygenist last week asking if I've lost weight since I saw her last four months ago.  Maybe walking is becoming easier for you.  Maybe your face is getting thinner.  Maybe you drank all your water for a week in row.  Remember those non-scale victories because they will be essential for your mental health when your weight loss eventually slows down.

3.  I go to a therapist, and this has been essential for me to get to the point of deciding on WLS and she will be important as I adjust to my new body.  It's taken years to try to rewire the "not good enough" mentality (and believe me, I still struggle with that in all areas of my life) - so I try to remember to be gentle with myself.

4.  Speaking of being gentle to oneself...  What would you say to someone who said your best friend or a loved one that they were "not good enough"?  I bet you would tell that person to buzz off and turn to your loved one and say "You ARE good enough."  Whenever you hear that scared, bitter voice telling you that you are "not good enough" - say (and I mean say it out loud) "don't be talking about my friend that way.  She IS good enough.  I AM good enough.  My progress is good enough."  Sounds crazy (and the out loud part - well, probably best if you were alone and not in public... :-) - but treating yourself like you would treat your best friend is some of the best advice I ever got.  Still working on that, and I don't always remember to do it, but it does help to rewire that negative talk.

You are doing great!  And you and your progress are good enough!