Dates..and not the surgical kind :)

KellyJTn
on 5/5/11 12:28 am - Oak Ridge, TN
For 11 years of my MO life, I was with my now ex husband. Now post op, and down 136lbs, I am terrified of dating!  Part of me thinks that I should wait until I am at goal and then look (because to be perfectly honest, the type of men who are attracted to you vary greatly at different weight stages, and I don't want to feel like I settled like I did with my ex husband, just because some guy paid me a little attention while I was fat).   Also you have all those things to factor into it like can a guy deal with the rapid weight change, and all the surgery down the road for plastics etc. Someone tell me I should just wait until that's all over and done with? LOL
The reason this is even coming up is because there's a guy I'm interested in, and to be honest, I don't even know if he's interested or not.  I'm terrible at flirting because I just never did it before. I've never asked a guy out or anything. I don't even know where I would begin!  Should I just put this whole thing on hold until I'm at goal or does dating just get harder and harder the thinner you get?

 ~Kelly ~   
SW 364/CW 164/GW 150             
 

         

T H.
on 5/5/11 12:41 am - Bryantown, MD
I suggest you get out and have some fun.  That's what I did :)

Teri
The only place were success comes before work is in the dictionary

pycca
on 5/5/11 12:44 am - Haslet, TX
Your young !!!  go for it ! LOL 

I have to say I think all of us single gals probably have the same worries.. Even I at my nice age of being in my 50's and single,,  and I have raised two girls...both are in their late 20' with NO
issues of weight...

 It does get harder as we get older,,, ( I may need to find one that loves cuddly animals and can't see well, being as I resemble a char pei puppy i!!  LOL)

It never gets that easy anymore, even now with more internet,, We have to learn a new way to be more outgoing and as MO,, some of us would hide instead,, LOL

You look gorgous, and have a wonderful smile,,, you will have a great time !!!
Deb


    
(deactivated member)
on 5/5/11 12:45 am
I'm the last person to ask about dating since I've been married 25 years but I'll take a crack at it!

Don't worry about dating and plastics and love...get yourself together the way you want to for yourself and no one else. If a man happens to come along and fall head over heels, it's not going to matter what you look like...he should love you for you and not for how perky your tits are or how firm your tummy is. 
 
Love happens when you're not looking for it.

Hope that makes sense!
beemerbeeper
on 5/5/11 12:52 am - AL
Haha.  I've been serioiusly not looking for15 months.  At the rate I'm going I'll still be not looking when I die!!

Who needs a man when you can have a dog?

~Becky


(deactivated member)
on 5/5/11 12:57 am
LOL!! Love it!
LaShelle2
on 5/5/11 5:46 am - STOCKBRIDGE, GA
On May 5, 2011 at 7:52 AM Pacific Time, beemerbeeper wrote:
Haha.  I've been serioiusly not looking for15 months.  At the rate I'm going I'll still be not looking when I die!!

Who needs a man when you can have a dog?

~Becky
Man or dog?    Hmmmm??????????????????  MAN!!!!  

               **** I AM AN OH SUPPORT GROUP LEADER ****
WHY I CHOSE DS: 
No dumping.  Highest percentage of weight loss, Best long term results,  Won't regain weight!  Eat normal sized meals,  96% diabeties, 90% high blood pressure, 80% sleep apnea cured.                                    I  MY DS!
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there were three other people.    ~Orson Wells  

Emily F.
on 5/5/11 8:14 am
On May 5, 2011 at 12:46 PM Pacific Time, LaShelle2 wrote:
On May 5, 2011 at 7:52 AM Pacific Time, beemerbeeper wrote:
Haha.  I've been serioiusly not looking for15 months.  At the rate I'm going I'll still be not looking when I die!!

Who needs a man when you can have a dog?

~Becky
Man or dog?    Hmmmm??????????????????  MAN!!!!  
 I would also take  a man over a dog in  a heartbeat. 
LaShelle2
on 5/5/11 12:48 am, edited 5/5/11 5:50 am - STOCKBRIDGE, GA
Girlfriend,

GO FOR IT!!!!  You've been through a lot and you deserve to get out there and be wined and dined.

I found my 1st couple of dates post-op I was still dating like a fat girl.   I still settled for less than I deserved.  It took a minute for my mind to catch up with my new "hot" body and to realize my worth.   Not sayin you have to settle for jerks when you are fat, but you have to admit your choices are pretty limited because fat women are just not as desirable to most young, single, bachelors.

It seems like most  BBW lovers either have a fetish or are just plain jerks preying on fat girls. 

Now, as far as my DS is concerned, I pretty much put all my cards on the table up-front.   I explain:

1. If we ever get nekkid,   I don't have a perfect physique under the clothes LOL.

I AM THINKING OF SEWING WARNING LABELS ON THE OUTSIDE OF MY BRA AND PANTIES     "BACK AWAY 100 FEET AND BEWARE OF FALLING OBJECTS"!!! 





2. If you take me out to dinner and I don't finish my food, I'm not tryin to be cute, I just have a little tummy.

3. Don't try to eat like I do because you will go into cardiac arrest- I eat lots of fat and protein.

4. I don't have the gas/poop convo because honestly mine is very minimal and is pretty much a non issue. My current BF is gassier than I am LOL.


I explained the whole DS thing to my ex and asked him how he felt about me getting thinner. He just responded " I never dated a skinny woman".  We're not together now so go figure...  I dropped from a 16-18 to a 10-12 over the course  of the year I was together.  I don't think my weight ever really was an issue though.

So back to your question, NO don't wait.  You need to date a lot to practice "skinny girl" dating. It's a lot of fun! Enjoy the ride!!!

               **** I AM AN OH SUPPORT GROUP LEADER ****
WHY I CHOSE DS: 
No dumping.  Highest percentage of weight loss, Best long term results,  Won't regain weight!  Eat normal sized meals,  96% diabeties, 90% high blood pressure, 80% sleep apnea cured.                                    I  MY DS!
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there were three other people.    ~Orson Wells  

sdld2001
on 5/5/11 1:06 am - Summerville, SC
Go have some fun! You don't have to marry the guy. Live for today, cause we're never promised tomorrow..yanno. And as my mother has said before ... honey you don't ever pass up a free meal LOL
Mindee

HW - 274 / SW - 265 / CW - 178 / GW 140          High BMI 53.5 / Current BMI 34.8  
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