My poor son...need men's input PLEASE

I don't know what to say to my son and his father is so upset he won't even talk to him until he calms down.

Here's the short of it....my son's girlfriend is pregnant and he's completely devastated. He has talked to her and they both agree that they're not ready for a child BUT she's told him she's having it. My son does manual labor (carpet and flooring installation) and has no health insurance and no regular work hours...he works for a contractor. His girlfriend has not worked in months; she dropped out of high school (so did my son so I ain't throwing no stones); she and her mother rent part of a house and don't even have a home of their own; she's been smoking and doing some drugs (but claims she stopped)....the list goes on and on. My son is being realistic...he said LOOK we don't have the means to care for a child...we can't even take care of OURSELVES right now without our parents help...WE CAN'T DO THIS!! She listens and agrees and then the next day acts like they never even had the conversation. Ok...here's the problem....he said "Mom I feel so helpless...I feel like I should have 50% say in this but she's gonna do what she wants no matter what I say". Ok of course I tell him what he SHOULD HAVE DONE IS WRAP IT UP...but done deal and now we have to deal with this issue...I told him the bottom line is that it's her body and no matter what the ultimate desicion is really "hers"...he was HEATED he said this ain't FAIR...I don't know what to say to him...I mean I depend on his father for this and his father has not calmed down enough to talk to him yet...so I'm left trying to help my son deal with this...and for real...I can understand both sides of the coin.

WTH am I supposed to say to him I have already lectured him and at this point that is NOT going to help...he's CRUSHED...I need some male input here...MEN have you dealt with this issue? What can I do or say?

OMG I already have 1 grandson and I just can't do this again...I basically have custody of G-baby because my daughter is ******G UP right now.....LAWD KEEP ME FROM KILLING THESE CHILDREN!!!!!!

No advice. Just . It will all work out.

Thank you...I swear I'm about to lose it My daughter pregnancy was hard to deal with and I was depressed for MONTHS but I got through it and I ADORE my G-baby BUT my heart is aching for my son right now

Since you asked for a man's opinion. I won't offer my .02 cents. But I will give you a

I'm his mother and I sat both of them down and spoke to them BUT I can't be his father...and I have told his father that he NEEDS him right now.

I have faith that in time it will all work out...but to have my almost 21 year old "hard core" son cry on my shoulder...that is hard to take

The only thing I could tell him is that we're a family and I love him and will support him as best I can through ANYTHING in his life. This is just tearing me apart right now...

Thank you

Sometimes that support can be more of a henderence than help......

Don't help him too much let him see how hard it is out there and fall on his face a few times let him go hungry a couple of times and see how it is out there and why he should have stayed in school and why he should have took care of his business in the first place. Sometimes the best lesson is a bought lesson.

First,

I completely understand where your son is coming from and I know how hard it is out there to do this. The first thing he has to do is learn that it is her body and she has the ultimate choice in KEEPING the child he made his choice when he made the decision to have unprotected sex. I know that spilled milk and there isn't ANYTHING he can do about it now

2nd..
He can either have her to go to DHS and they will take care of all that however he's going to get those people in his life now (CHILD SUPPORT) OR he might be able to get insurance  through Blue Cross Blue Shield I know they sell those plans to people I don't know what they called but you can google. I suggest he just let her go to DHS and get it taken care of that way at least she'll be able to get housing/food stamps and other means.
In the meantime he needs to be getting his GED and getting his self together he has to man up and realize it ain't about him no more its all about that baby and EVERYTHING for the rest of his life will be about that baby so invest in his self and his future

LAST BUT NOT LEAST GIVE HIM A COPY OF THIS POEM.....TELL HIM IT WILL WORK ITSELF OUT BUT HE HAS TO SEE IT THROUGH........

When you're up against a trouble,
Meet it squarely, face to face;
Lift your chin and set your shoulders,
Plant your feet and take a brace.
When it's vain to try to dodge it,
Do the best that you can do;
You may fail, but you may conquer,
See it through!

Black may be the clouds about you
And your future may seem grim,
But don't let your nerve desert you;
Keep yourself in fighting trim.
If the worst is bound to happen,
Spite of all that you can do,
Running from it will not save you,
See it through!

Even hope may seem but futile,
When with troubles you're beset,
But remember you are facing
Just what other men have met.
You may fail, but fall still fighting;
Don't give up, whate'er you do;
Eyes front, head high to the finish.
See it through.

I was looking for male input on HIS issue and what I could possible (if anything) say to him.

I'm a woman and know that it's her body I even mentioned that...remember? His father has a degree in PSY and has been working with my son on many levels...I'm also college educated and we've got the parenting thing under wraps. Also, you don't know all the history so you wouldn't know that he is taking classes to get his GED and looking into other career opportunities. His father and I have taught him well and he has already stepped up to his responsibilities...but again...you don't know the entire situation.

I was only looking for a male point-of-view of what he may be going through and what emotional support I could possibly offer him.

Thanks for the poem.

Get ready to babysit.........

PUNK ASS I WILL MEET YOU ON THE BL