Your response to criticism?
I am curious to know what everyones response is to someone who criticizes the way you look post-op. Namely, people who knew you before surgery and like to point out your flaws now.
To date, I have had an old friend tell me I look sickly, one tell me my face looks anorexic and then went into detail about how my body wasn't proportioned correctly and that I just wasn't pretty anymore. My most recent came last night when I ran into a girl I used to work with. She saw me and immediately rolled her eyes and let out a laugh, then goes on about how my face is far too skinny now and that I lost too much hair and that it was super noticeable.
I'm just at a loss. My close girlfriends all say it's just jealousy, but what in the world do I say back to these crazy people? I don't think I look like any of that!! And they are really starting to make me feel self conscious though I know it shouldn't. Here's the most recent shot of me...
To date, I have had an old friend tell me I look sickly, one tell me my face looks anorexic and then went into detail about how my body wasn't proportioned correctly and that I just wasn't pretty anymore. My most recent came last night when I ran into a girl I used to work with. She saw me and immediately rolled her eyes and let out a laugh, then goes on about how my face is far too skinny now and that I lost too much hair and that it was super noticeable.
I'm just at a loss. My close girlfriends all say it's just jealousy, but what in the world do I say back to these crazy people? I don't think I look like any of that!! And they are really starting to make me feel self conscious though I know it shouldn't. Here's the most recent shot of me...
~Kelly ~
SW 364/CW 164/GW 150
Darlin':
In your avatar, you look goreous to me. Get the larger photo to work and I will let you know if I still feel that way. ;)
You know what you say to these do*chenozzles in your life? N-O-T-H-I-N-G. Do not dignify their comments wih any statement. Either walk away or, if that is not appropriate, say, "So...how 'bout them Giants winning the Super Bowl, huh? That was something, right?" Make it obvious that you are switching the topic and that your weight is none of their damn business.
When I was at my lowest, my sister (who was very overweight) said to me, "I am sorry...you are just too thin. You look drawn and sick." I said to her, "Thanks for your concern but I am very happy at this weight. It is heathy for me. I did not have this surgery to look like a model. I did it for my health and, right now, I am healthy." It was an uncomfortable conversation but it NEVER came up again.
Your friends are right...it is ABSOLUTELY jealousy. Want to know how I know this? My friend had WLS 2 years before I did. Of the two of us, she was the "fat" one (and I weighted 280!!). While she was losing weight, it was the first time in my ENTIRE life that I have felt the emotion of jealousy. And it is an ugly, ugly emotion. It made me an ugly person. So I have witnessed the green beast and now see it in others!
Let me ask you...when you are walking down the street...do men look at you? Stop and stare? If so, it isn't because you are sickly...it is because you are ROCKING your healthy body!! That is the real litmus test. Ignore the haters. They really don't MEAN to be mean...they just truly cannot help it!
Hugs,
Jersey Mom
In your avatar, you look goreous to me. Get the larger photo to work and I will let you know if I still feel that way. ;)
You know what you say to these do*chenozzles in your life? N-O-T-H-I-N-G. Do not dignify their comments wih any statement. Either walk away or, if that is not appropriate, say, "So...how 'bout them Giants winning the Super Bowl, huh? That was something, right?" Make it obvious that you are switching the topic and that your weight is none of their damn business.
When I was at my lowest, my sister (who was very overweight) said to me, "I am sorry...you are just too thin. You look drawn and sick." I said to her, "Thanks for your concern but I am very happy at this weight. It is heathy for me. I did not have this surgery to look like a model. I did it for my health and, right now, I am healthy." It was an uncomfortable conversation but it NEVER came up again.
Your friends are right...it is ABSOLUTELY jealousy. Want to know how I know this? My friend had WLS 2 years before I did. Of the two of us, she was the "fat" one (and I weighted 280!!). While she was losing weight, it was the first time in my ENTIRE life that I have felt the emotion of jealousy. And it is an ugly, ugly emotion. It made me an ugly person. So I have witnessed the green beast and now see it in others!
Let me ask you...when you are walking down the street...do men look at you? Stop and stare? If so, it isn't because you are sickly...it is because you are ROCKING your healthy body!! That is the real litmus test. Ignore the haters. They really don't MEAN to be mean...they just truly cannot help it!
Hugs,
Jersey Mom
Height: 5'10"
Current BMI: 27.5 (Overweight)
Thank you! I can't for the life of me get OH to post my photos! I go by their instructions and it has never worked. I do have some public ones on my FB page if you want to look there :) It's www.facebook.com/knjohnson1980
And I absolutely do get looks while walking down the street, so I know I'm not totally hideous now, lol!! Plus, my date card is always completely full.......and what about the girls who say those things to me? They're miserable because they whine about it ALL the time. Guess I came out on top ;)
And I absolutely do get looks while walking down the street, so I know I'm not totally hideous now, lol!! Plus, my date card is always completely full.......and what about the girls who say those things to me? They're miserable because they whine about it ALL the time. Guess I came out on top ;)
~Kelly ~
SW 364/CW 164/GW 150
Great response!
The girl who went on about me looking anorexic kept repeating "I'm only saying this as your friend, I'm just being honest, please don't be mad at me". Finally after keeping quiet for a bit, I said "listen, I don't exactly think there are a million beautiful things about you, but you sure as **** don't hear me telling you about all the things about you I find ugly, do you?" Then she stopped talking altogether (this was via IM on FB).
The girl who went on about me looking anorexic kept repeating "I'm only saying this as your friend, I'm just being honest, please don't be mad at me". Finally after keeping quiet for a bit, I said "listen, I don't exactly think there are a million beautiful things about you, but you sure as **** don't hear me telling you about all the things about you I find ugly, do you?" Then she stopped talking altogether (this was via IM on FB).
~Kelly ~
SW 364/CW 164/GW 150
Most Active
Recent Topics
Interesting Medical Journal Study - WLS & Interpersonal Relationships
Batwingsman · 5 replies · 1639 views
Batwingsman · 5 replies · 1639 views