This evening was very difficult for me.  I had a family dinner out.  During the meal some sarcastic comments were made in general [albiet insinuating] to criticize my decision for VSG and fat people in general.  I left the dinner immediately, sat in the car alone until my family returned.... and cried.  During that time alone It finally came to me.  So, here it is....for better or worse:

I am VOLUNTARILY having 85% of my stomach removed on January 11th 2012. I don't expect you to even begin to comprehend or understand that, nor do I expect you to understand what kind of courage it takes for one to make such a decision. I just know that it is deserving of incredible respect. JDB 12/23/11

Honey, the kind of people that would make remarks calculated to hurt you are not the kind of people you want in your life anyway.  Just do what you know is right for you, and at next year's Christmas celebrations, you can just rock your bad size 9 and they can go sit on a stick,

Hugs,

How terrible that your family would treat you like that.  Let's face it, people that don't have a weight problem don't understand our issues.  My super obese mom told people from church that I was having elective surgery when one woman from my Bible study asked if she wanted to put me on the prayer list right before surgery.  When she told me what she said my responds was, "Elective?  Well I guess that is correct if you consider that I "elected" not to die from diabetes." 

 Janie - you are a woman who made a wise decision and you will do great. It's OK to feel sad about your family but, honestly, their loss.  and you will continue to feel better and better about your new life - just give yourself plenty of time to adjust.  change is hard, but worth it.

Janice,

I made the same decision, only a more radical one, I have a DS, almost two years ago.  I could not be happier.  That people, will have to shut up, come back to their senses, or stay away from you.  At the end, you will win.  Just take good care of yourself, get educated surgery wise, research, get ready with vitamins, proteins and whatever you will need, and you will be fine. 
I wish you good.  Stay strong and take care.

Peace and good.

...  and NO Janice, you DON'T always hurt the ones you love.  Stupid and abusive people do that.

Take care.

You are not hurting them. Their ingorance is hurting you.

My family wasn't against my getting the RNY but they felt it wouldn't really help me. That i'd end up eating around it and regain any weight I had lost.

Now they know better. Actions speak louder than words. It's tough when you feel like you have no support but push thru and you will come out on top.

You can do this!!!!

Hey -

Don't tell us about it - tell them!!! 

Address them now about this, before you have your surgery.  Tell them how bad it makes you feel on an emotional basis to hear them being unsupportive.  Remind them how families are supposed to work.  Show them how obese people feel on a daily basis from all the weight and medical challenges we have, the cultural challenge of not fitting in, shame and embarrassment, etc. 

Don't leave the table when this happens - throw it back in their face, and CHALLENGE them (literally, if needed) to become more compassionate people, more supportive people, to overcome their myopic view of the world and see things through others' viewpoints.  

Sorry your family made you feel bad during the holidays, but try not to let them.  Be strong, and feed it back to them.  Pu**** back on them.  Don't you want me to be healthy?  Don't you want me to be happy?  Don't you want me to be successful?  Don't you want me to live longer?

Good luck.

Your family sucks and I'm sorry.

Hi: weighless  You have my full support on this one. Sometimes family can be the worse people to share anything with. Anytime that I've visited with my family, they've insisted that I eat with them, and I would. Now, after dinner they always bring up the subject of my weight, telling me that I should lose weight. At that point I would say, first you feed me. now you criticize me for eating, what's up with that ? I no longer visit family nor share anything with them. I do have a few good friends that I may tell them, I'm having surgery. My daughter is the only one I need before and after surgery. She knows all of my suggests with weight. I am still waiting for approval from my ins co. Wishing you peace, blessings and good health this coming year.
88 FL