I messed up today

I have been following plan so carefully, and my surgeon's office has one of the stricter plans compared to what I've seen from others here.

Today, I messed up, and I'm feeling so guilty about it that I need to confess and re-affirm that it won't happen again.
There was a party for a co-worker who is leaving, and there was so much junk out...donuts, coffee cake, pullaparts, all of it. I stood there drinking my protein coffee, saying no thank you every time someone offered me something, but I was just feeling so...deprived. I don't know why...I've kept my blinders on so far and none of it has really bothered me, but today it did. At the end, I took a maybe 2 inch by 1 inch piece of this stupid almond meltaway coffee cake thing..and I ATE IT. :( 

I can't help but start thinking that I've just started this horrible downward spiral, that I've ruined everything I've done so far....trying to contain the crazy-making, and promising myself it will NOT happen again.

Okay, so now you've confessed and it's time to move on.  Stop beating yourself up and know that you are human.  If I may suggest it, you might want to think about some counseling if you are not getting it now. It could be helpful in making your journey successful.  Good luck.

Don't beat yourself up. What you need to do now is to listen to your body and be mindful of any carb cravings that may (or may not, you never know****ur. You didn't get to the point of needing WLS by eating a single bite of coffee cake, and you won't derail your progress with one single bite of coffee cake either. HOWEVER, you know just as well as I do that sweets are a slippery slope. Best not to test the waters if you aren't 100% certain that you are Master of your cravings. Move on, "contain the crazy-making" (I LOVE THAT), and get back on the track that you want to be on.

Honestly, the real problem is not the small piece of cake but your reaction to it.  This will not be the last time that you go off plan.  Hopefully you can limit it to just a few times until goal, but trust me, in most cases, this is just the first of many times.  Your attitude and reaction to this is what can really screw you up.  You ate off plan, you did not kill anyone.  Feeling guilt or shame over this is just plain silly and doesn't help you at all. 

Here is a little action plan that works for me. Take what you like and leave the rest.

1) First order of business-forgive you right now, this very second.  Better yet, reexamine the feelings of guilt and shame and to see if they are really helpful to you.  (Hint: they are not helpful and are really hurtful).  However, they can serve as a signal to you that you need to pay attention.  Since you can't turn them off, use them for their intended purpose. 

2) Figure out why you went off plan.  In your case, you already know that you felt deprived.  You need to address this head on and not pu**** away.  What made you feel deprived exactly?  Is there a belief system in your head that you "deserve" sweets as a reward or that you are being punished by not getting them?  You really need to figure out what you were feeling and thinking and reevaluate your position.  A good therapist  can help.  You might also want to read the Beck Diet Solution.  Cognitive Behavior Therapy is great in helping you figure this out for yourself.

3) You might consider coming up with a strategy to help you manage the same situation when it comes up next time (and it will).  Will having something a bit decadent, but still on plan, help?  Would wearing something really beautiful and strutting your stuff makes you feel special and would that be enough?  Only you know what you need (besides cake) to make you feel special, treasured and loved.  (by you).  I personally like to wear a twirly dress and do a little twirl in front of the mirror.  :)  We all have our vices.

4) How are you going to reward yourself for pre-planning for these type of situations? I like to get my nails done, you might have something else you like to do.  ( I now have the prettiest nails ever.  :)  ). Find ways to treat yourself and remind yourself that you are special and loved.  This doesn't work well with guilt and shame, it works so much better with love and respect toward yourself.  You can do this, you are doing this and you are still learning, as are we all.  Good luck to you and to all of us.

Do people know you've had the surgery?  If they don't, then I'll forgive them.  If they do, what the heck were they doing asking?!  this is one of the reasons I did tell my co-workers.  I need them to not try include me in their foodscapades.  

As far as the cake, it's in the past, and if you don't move on you're going to shame yourself into another bite.  Just back on plan...very next bite...back  on plan.  Very. next. bite.  

You can do this!

I agree with Elina. This moment in your journey can be made right by looking at it honestly and learn from it. My return to healthy journey is like a cross country trip. I can have the route all mapped out, my nav system is telling me when to turn etc. Along the way I could take a wrong turn. I can either continue to drive down that wrong road telling myself that I am so stupid OR I can just find a spot to turn around, noting that I won't take the wrong turn again. I find my way back and continue on the route that leads me to my destination. You made an impulsive emotional decision.  This is a great chance for you to find in yourself some amazing strength in yourself. Don't waste your energy on "crazy". Spend your energy on learning the lesson and getting stronger.  

My only morsel of advice: when you know one of these office food orgies is coming up, either eat some dense protein beforehand or bring a dense protein snack of your own to consume during the event. That usually takes the edge off and replaces the deprived feeling with an empowered one. 

Tom

Great advice! I have also learned that if there is something in your hand already (even if it's healthy for you), the food pushers are more likely to pass you by.

Laurie

One of the items on my list of WLS Promises is: If I fail, and I will fail, I will forgive myself and return immediately to plan.  It’s okay to screw up, it’s not okay to beat myself up for it or let it become the start of a downward spiral. 

Seriously.  Screwing up is okay and human, it's how you handle screwing up that matters and defines you and your success.  

Ditto to Elina.  

It looks like you are only 3-4 weeks out.  I would also be very careful what you try out in front of coworkers.  It seems a little early.

Don't kill yourself, but do recognize what you learned and how you may alter your behavior next time.

Tom is right.... preparation is key.  At some point, you will feel more confident and energetic when you show restraint that others can't.

There will always be temptation.  You are the only one that can control your action. 

Learn and move on!  You can do it.