Journey Abandoned

I have been wanting to write this post for several days now but why I haven't gotten around to it, I don't know.

For the most part I have knowingly / unknowingly abandoned my journey to my goal weight.

The facts - I have lost 130 pounds, down 5 dress sizes but my head focus is gone. I would like to accredit my "mind mush" to being 53 and starting menopause but I am not sure. I can eat most anything and have! I still have my morning shake, use a ****tail fork and spoon and try and begin with protein. That's where it ends--- in goes the baked treats, fresh bannock at work and munchies in front of the tv. I can tell you exactly what I should be doing; I know all the rules and suggestions from reading the blogs here and from books I've bought.

But what I am lost with is the HEAD STUFF. I am speaking to a councilor who is trying to get me to listen to the voices in my head, but I can't concentrate or focus on much. The first 6 months - were easy; next 6 tougher and now WTF!

I was waiting anxiously for the New Year to "get back on track" but that didn't work and to top it all off, I somehow was maintaining my weight loss irregardless of what I ate. I haven't been drinking my water and my edema is coming back but still things are ok. My grazing habits and binges are back. I got a fitbit for Christmas, I bought it, but I've only used it for the sleep monitoring. Not that I don't want to, I just forget to grab it in the morning. I suffer from depression and am wondering if the meds aren't as effective as before,  but I can't even blame that for all the difficulty in focusing.

At the end of December I decided, with the support of my family, that 2014 will be the year of "Decluttering". I hope to get rid of 2014 items from our house / life. Come on, I can't be the only one out there with outdated Electronic textbooks, three of everything (can't find the first 2) or gifts that were never used or frankly don't like! I am hoping some fat pounds are amongst the things I manage to get rid of.

I will continue to read the blogs, talking to Jill, and trying to make good decisions - only time will tell how well it goes. Is anyone else having a hard time keeping focused on the journey?

Thanks for reading,

Take Care

 

 

I'm sorry your struggling.  Part of this journey is learning to get back on the wagon.  You still have the tool to use when you are ready.  Instead of trying to do everything at once why don't you focus on your health and move forward from there.  3 days of protein will detox you from sugar and rid you of the cravings.  

You might try journaling.  Go find pictures of you when you were at your highest and write about that.  The easy answer is to write about how you look.  Try going deeper and remember how you felt being that person.  Rediscover why you went with the surgery in the first place.  In that 'old' person is the motivation to get back on track.

God bless,

My heart goes out to you. You seem so sad. You don't sound like you are happy with abandoning your journey, more like to feel resigned to it.  I am only 3 weeks out from surgery and still feeling mostly euphoric but certainly have my moments.  This week has been my first normal week (no holidays, no emergency trips out of state) and I do find that I fight with the old habit of snacking on crap from the time I get home till I go to bed. Even at this early stage I have eaten things I shouldn't have.  But I do believe that if I keep and think about all the reasons I want to lose, I will be victorious in the end. 

Please continue to take care of yourself. Do the best you can and each and every day and wakeup hopeful to begin again. If you can't find your way back on the path right away, perhaps you can mitigate the damage until you do.

PS My mom is having her kitchen redone so she is having to clear everything out of the cabinets.... so far she has found 5 crock pots, 6 juicers, and two cases of mason jars (and she has never canned a thing in her life) so good luck with your decluttering!

These are great.

You are NOT a failure. You have come onto this forum and held yourself accountable and that's the first step in getting your focus back.  

 

The longest journey begins with the first step...and this was an awesome first step. You totally have this! We are here for you..keep posting..we care 

 

I'm sorry to hear you're still struggling. I remember you posting about your depression  before, and my suggestion to you is to deal with that first. With a foundation of effective medication and counseling, continued weight loss is still possible. Your sleeve will be ready to work for you when you are in a stronger place. Take care, stick around. 

I'm sorry you are struggling so much - glad you reached out though. Have you tried seeing your psychiatrist recently? It definitely sounds like you might need to try a new med. Look into it - you are worth it! Please don't give up. You've come so far. You might tread water for a bit, but your tool will be there, and so will this board, when you are ready to get back in the game. Hang in there - hugs to you.