It finally happened today - someone asked me how I lost the weight

So I've lost 77 pounds, and only one person at work has commented on it. It just happens to be a guy who is a huge jerk and lacks the filter that would prevent most men from commenting on a woman's weight. But it was still nice a month or so ago when he told me he could tell I had lost weight and was looking good. It was nice because NO ONE else has said a word about it, and that has messed with my head a little.

Today we ran into each other at the fridge, where I was putting away a take out container. He asked me how I've lost the weight. I've been dreading this moment because I've never been sure exactly how I will answer. I stuttered and stammered and said something like "I changed the way I eat and I exercise." By then he sort of lost interest and walked away.

I feel like I didn't handle it well. Part of me feels like I was dishonest because I didn't add "AND I got 85% of my stomach cut out" (even though I know that is ridiculous and it is none of anyone's business, especially his). I am not embarrassed I had surgery and I am not necessarily hiding it. But I just didn't know what to say. You'd think 5 and a half months would be long enough to come up with an intelligent answer to that question...

You answered exactly how I answer that question.  Well, I actually say that I'm eating low carb and working out (both true).  I feel very strongly that my surgery is nobody's business.  You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty... just because someone asks you a question doesn't mean they have the right to know the absolute truth about your medical history. Especially some jerky guy at work!!  And by the way... Congrats on 77 pounds!!  That's awesome!

You did a great job answering! It will come easier over time...but you really don't owe anyone anything.

Huge congrats on your accomplishments!

You answered correctly.  You did change the way you eat and you are exercising.  No lie about that.  No one has to know the rest.  You had to work hard for every pound you lost so don't feel guilty about it.  Keep up the great work!!

This is my reply always..........I cut out the junk food/fast food and a lot of carbs, stop drinking sodas and I eat more protein and I try to walk everyday and take a couple of exercise classes and that is it.  No more no less and this is the TRUTH.

Great answer!  You are not obligated to tell him or anyone else what you did to lose weight.  Keep up the great work.

IMO you answered appropriately. That is how I usually respond to the question, unless it is someone who is overweight themselves and you can tell they genuinely want to know how you did it.  Basically, I think you choose your response based on the person asking. 

You're doing great, keep it up!

I get the question pretty frequently from women, and I always say I work out like a lunatic (true) and I eat low carb because it's more satisfying on less calories (also true in my experience).  If it's someone I feel could benefit from WLS, I tell about my sleeve surgery.  Most of the time, it's just women looking to lose 20ish pounds and wanting a quick fix.  You did just fine.  You can be proud of yourself, unashamed of your surgery and still not want to broadcast it to a huge jerk in your office :) 

Congrats on the 77 lbs- wow - that's awesome!

I answered that question today twice - different ways! One lady I have never cared for stopped me today to tell me how great I looked- as she was overweight (and frankly - I was shocked she noticed) - I told her I had had VSG & it was the best thing I have ever done. Bad thing is that there were other people around who over heard me. Oh well!

The second person was in a hurry & said - " something is different about you- have you lost weight?" I said "yes" & she asked "how?" - I told her diet & exercise- just didn't want to get into it with her. She wanted to know if there was a "secret pill" - that made me feel a little bad but she didn't really have time to hear my story.

We get to choose who we share, and how much we share, our "stuff" with and that goes for all aspects of our lives.  We have no problem filtering what should be told to whom and our weight -loss-gain-how it happened-how we do it- maintain is no exception.  This person is a casual co worker- not your intimate, and you owe him nothing.  You certainly would not stand at the water cooler dicussing what color of undies you are currently wearing, would you?  Your WLS is MUCH more intimate a thing than even that.  I think this is called setting safe boundries.  I say be careful whom you let in the gate.