When am I going to see the new me?? And just rambling in general...

I know people post about this and I am sorry if it is redundant, but I am really experiencing this right now.

I am only 2.5lbs from goal.  I know that I have lost almost 100 lbs, holy cow!  But I don't see it.  I feel strange when I go shopping for clothes (I have to, don't have much to wear now).

Last night I was at a clothes party and was shocked when everything I tried on was too big.  I can wear a size 4 pant now, they look so tiny, I can't possible wear those...but I can and they look good.  It is so hard to wrap my head around this.  I also am wearing small shirts, Small?  Me?  It is insane. I know, skinny people problems... I think my bat wings are part of the reason I still feel so big, I guess they are not going away without surgery, so I may have to deal with it.  It looks funny because I do lift weights, so my arms look muscular & then you see the batwings! :)  I always remember my arms being my thing I did not like, even when I did not have a weight problem.

I said I just don't see it and one of the ladies told me to look in the mirror, nope, still don't see it there. 

I did see some photos from a St Patties Day party and in one of them, my shoulders look so narrow...must be the camera angle right?  My husband says no, that is what you look like. Ok, so why can't I see it?  I will try and post that photo in my profile.

I guess I spent so much time being overweight, ok, obese, that I really thought I would look different than I do.  I don't look bad, just different.  Of course I am over 40 now and did abuse my body for over 20 years, so what do I expect? I guess it is like carrying a baby, your skin stretches out, your boobs sag (44DD to 36C), your butt sags, your thighs are jiggly...and again, I am over 40...did I mention that my face is so wrinkled now, it looks like a road map!

I was complaining about the wrinkles the other night and my husband told me, you are a 41 year old woman, your wrinkles are not that visble to anyone but you and you are supposed to have them.  You would look strange if you did not have any.  You are beautiful and you don't need Botox!  I love that man! Ok, so he just does not want to pay for the Botox! lol (He lifts weights 3 xs week and plays on 3 indoor soccer teams) so he is in great shape.  We were both pretty portly when we got married, he lost 70lbs about 10 years ago.  I was also a little embarrased I was so out of shape next to him, now we look like we belong together.  I have never been this size since I have known him, so this new shape took some time for him to get used to as well.  He liked my curves.

I have not been a size 4 since I was 22 years old when I used to teach aerobics 5 days a week. 

The other strange thing is how my weight loss has affected my job.  I look at wrecked cars at body shops.  The techs in the shop have always been nice to me, but now they are visbly staring at me, that is strange, I have been invisible for the last 15 years, not sure I like that part of it.  However, they do tend to be a lot easier to work with.  Sad, I know but who knew it would make the negotiating part of my job easier?

This is not meant to be whiney but I am just having some strange head issues I did not expect.  Not bad, just strange!

Yes, my life has improved, my health is so much better, helping my husband with soccer practice is fun (just have to be careful with my knee), shopping is more fun (still strange), my energy level is better, my house is cleaner and list goes on and on...I just did not expect some of the head stuff I am experiencing now.

I am so thankful for this board, the support is awesome here!  I don't post all the time but I am here almost daily and it has been such a huge help to me!

 

 

It's called Body Dismophic Disorder and it is very real. You can see a therapist about it but it sounds like you have enough visual and other cues that you just need to start believing them. You will always be your worst critic because you know what you should see.

you should start seeing a change the moment you start the process of losing the weight , when you go to your seminar and decide to have the surgery everything should start changing , you should be thinking of how much healthier you are or will be 

 also you need to look at the before pictures and compare yourself to them ( best if nude)

maybe you need to see a therapist to get your head around your weight loss

It just takes time for your mind to catch up with your body.  Same with the skin changes.  Things will redistribute especially if you keep up the exercise.

I have a few lines now that I didn't have before the weight loss.  Plastic surgery scares me, but I would consider getting a little work done on my face.  I have never tried botox or those fillers.  They are a little scary too.

I think you are doing great.  Give it time, you will see it.

I get it.  I'm over 40, too, and when I had a 60 lb weight loss with the band, it was a pretty big deal. I had never loss that much before and I felt so much better, but I couldn't really see it. People noticed and they would ooh and ahh at my weight loss, but I never saw it (not like they did).  Occasionally, I would catch an unexpected glimpse of my new reflection in a mall mirror or store front window.  I'd do a double take.  Most of the time, I was picking up the same size clothes while shopping because my head couldn't believe that my body was smaller.  I've gained it all back now (and am headed for a revision..yay!), but I get what you're saying. My therapist calls it, "The story I tell myself is..."  I have to change my story with the sleeve and allow my mind to catch up to my body since I have this image of myself that does not match with the reality. Even as I was re-gaining the weight, I told myself a different story and didn't acknowledge it fully until every lost pound and then some had returned.  I am learning to tell myself the story that is rooted in love, truth and acceptance.

I appreciate your post and hope this helps.  Congrats on your weight loss.

 

 

 

I read somewhere on this forum how another woman dealt with this.  She was finally able to "see" the change when her friend tried on her shirt/pants.  I guess when we see others wearing our clothes, it might finally click.  Just a thought...

How sad (or anything else: worried, anxious, confused, numb) does it make you that you DON'T see it?  On a 1-to-10 scale, if it's over a 4 (ish), I would consider therapy to discover and heal this issue for yourself.  If it's just a puzzle, not that troublesome to you, then no.  The fact that your husband is spending some time trying to convince you of stuff you don't see would indicate that this is not entirely benign in your life.

Early in my relationship with my husband, I complained of being fat on a regular basis.  I weighed about 145 at the time.  He would  protest that I wasn't fat, which made me kind of dig my heels in and insist, so though it was offered with love, it actually had an opposite effect.  Clearly I had issues.  

Healing those issues has brought a tremendous freedom and peace.  Wishing you both!

Jenny

 

You are beautiful. Your mind will catch up over time!!!!

WHEW......GLAD TO SEE I AM NOT ALONE.......I AM 11 MONTHS POST VSG AND I HAVE LOST 136 POUNDS AND I DO NOT SEE IT AT ALL........I REALIZE I AM BUYING SMALLER CLOTHING BUT I DONT SEE IT......WHEN I GO PLACES I CAN SEE HOW PEOPLE SPEAK TO ME AND THEN LIKE DO A DOUBLE TAKE AND REALIZE IT IS ME.....I HAVE STOOD AND LOOKED IN THE MIRROR FOR MINUTES ON END AND STILL CANNOT SEE A CHANGE IN MY BODY OR FACE......I THOUGHT I WAS CRACKING UP.....LOL.........